Name: We Might Be Drunk Ep 65: I Donated
Uploaded: 2022-03-07T02:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 65: I Donated' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 65: I Donated' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-07. Transcript available.

We Might Be Drunk Ep 65: I Donated

we might be drunk we might be drunk as long as we are hanging out you know we
might be drunk
raise a glass let's talk shit head peeps wrecks and a bit maybe drunk we might
be drunk yeah
hey we're here we're doing it folks we're about to have a nice drink midday we
might be drunk
this is it folks how are you doing it man the day drinking it's starting to
hurt oh i'm not i was
never a day drinker before this podcast i was always like i called it a nightcap
oh yeah i like
at the end of the night it was kind of like helps you cruise right in the bed i
get a lot of like
nighttime hangovers now yes so do i and they're they're a bitch they're a bitch
we got to perform
i know you got to perform or you just go do i keep drinking and then you're in
that whole boat
well this helps the career this ain't helping right here no no but we're doing
it for you folks
we're doing it for you we're hurting ourselves for you we hope you're enjoying
it literally yeah
punishing our bodies for the for the fans at home so uh get on board this is
like low-key jackass
right here yeah very low-key exactly yeah i used to day drink a lot as a as a
youth same well when
you're young it's different yeah and i was just an alcoholic so i was just
drink that was day drinking
and night drinking yeah but yeah big i just love drinking the sun in the sun i
love what's your what's
your summer drink well i mean we would just go get a case of natty ice yeah not
bragging and they were
like do milwaukee's best i don't know why that was a go-to but a lot of a lot
of 40s when you're a kid
like oh yeah it's something there was something fun about holding a 40 too yes
exactly you ever do
edward 40 hands i never did it but i've seen it you'd make through a bottle cap
of of beer i bet with
your urinary tract but uh yeah that was hard because you had to drink them all
you couldn't piss until
you and then one kid one of my friends like i can't take it he smashed them
both and then
pulled his dick out he got shards of glass in his hands let's get him to the er
circumcised himself yeah uh but yeah yeah day drinking there's something about
it that's like
you ever drink on a beach i'm not a big beach guy nah i don't like the beach i
don't love it but
i'll do it once a year and i'll make a meal out of it you know you get the mai
tai
you got the floral board shorts and the the white uh cream on the nose and
really drink it up we uh
we do the the beaches in new york are terrible so you didn't grow up with the
beach either no and
they were right there that's crazy they're not great i had to drive to florida
it was five hours
when i was a kid yeah that's a lot oh yeah but we would make a weekend i mean
what do you go bright
and i've never even been to brighton beach i kind of want to go just to try the
russian food i do go to
colney island once a year yeah yeah but it's for rides and you're a brooklyn
guy it was right
there nothing it's not close no no it's not close he grew up on a train yeah
all right all right it's
so weird to take a train to a beach it is not even a train a subway yeah then
you're vulnerable on the
way back because you got your shorts on the flip-flops you're tan you're like
burnt it's not a good look
you got your umbrella and you got the duck around you you know i'm park over
beach all right all right
i know that's not popular we just every woman on this fucking podcast women
love beaches they love
the beach what do you think that is i think just i'm used to it no what do you
think it is about a
woman that loves the beach they want to get undressed they want to be sun
kissed they like the waves they
like it's romantic the park is not really romantic the park is where you get a
jogger gets assaulted
you know it's not really oh there's a hobo shitting it's not really my defense
is people get
assaulted on the beach no but i'm with you but there's something about i don't
know like you're
right it's the beach for women it's almost like a bubble bath yes if you're a
man and you choose
beach over park it's kind of weird yeah and park is great because there's no
commitment beach is like
ah i'm gonna get sun on my ass i'm gonna get sand in my crack uh it takes
forever to get there the
park is so close yet the beach is sexy everything you just described is like
sand in your crack
your feet are sandy but like bay watch there's no park bay watch no that's park
watch we gotta shoot it
there's the peeping tom there's the rat nest you know is that a raccoon god
damn it
whoo sandy hook that's when i pulled out of the sand but yeah uh we gotta crack
these
he said sandy i don't know that's where my brain went i donated there we go
that's a new that's a new uh i i fuck up a joke it's a new uh i gave money to
it that's the save
line that's a good one by the way what are these ice cubes you got here this is
not equal opportunity
you got the big nice round one i got uh i got brad williams over here you got ralphie
may
what the hell this is just fresh right out of here that's how you do it so this
is uh someone
sent us the negroni craft cocktail the bottled craft cocktails are making hey
man once our whiskey
comes out i say we do this but with an old pal hey i like it i think we make
the old pal we do
a push for that that's our drink that's our drink i like it we make we bring it
back yeah i'll tell
you paper planes are taking off they're everywhere now i i hear the name paper
planes around yeah
we really hijacked that one hey unlike malaysia you know where it's going i don't
know if that made
sense i donated we'll call this one i donated
so how were you this weekend i was in sacramento california seven shows i did
see that sold out
seven shows i love that room classic i i always i was talking i had a couple
great guys opening joey
avery and this guy daoud and uh he they had some good points they said the best
clubs are either in a
red state blue dot so like you're in the liberal part of the like lexington kentucky
exactly perfect
perfect perfect example um maybe philly yeah and in penn sylvania so that oh
that's like a uh you know
you know it's uh what's the word fuck why did i just go blank uh ohio florida
also swing state swing
state yes or like even you know madison wisconsin right perfect perfect example
so those are fun or
a town outside of the big town you know like la not not great to headline but
sacramento great to
headline la you don't think they're gonna show up exactly it's like you sell
out a show in la and
it's like 60 of people show up and you're like we get it i'm not there's too
much in your mind to do
what is that in la well there's so many things to do and they they're such
celebrity whores over
there they're star fuckers and we're not really stars so there's not a lot of
like i respect the arts
in la it's more like hey i've heard of that guy right what do tourists do at
night in la i know
like tourists here will go to broadway or go to the improv or the comedy store
you don't really do
that in la what a little bit well there's so many good restaurants is that what
it is yeah there's a
big restaurant culture in la i mean what else they will i don't know about at
night but they do the
stars homes that's big that is fucking sad what are you doing and talk about
creepy you know like
hey you're looking into burt lancaster's house you know some some old lady
lives there now like get
out of here it's like that's that's how they reboot uh sunset boulevard it's
some fucking weirdo who's
looking at a star's home yeah right then i got the walk of fame yeah you got
man's chinese theater
you got the tar pits got a great chinatown chinatown is great mexican food
great what are the
nighttime activities i'm always at a friend how i do is like yeah i feel like
they have bigger homes there
than we do we don't have people over in new york good point i mean in la you
you go to each other's
houses i think and you go clubbing they go clubbing you know it's like this is
ashton kutcher's club
you know it's like there's like a hot club every 10 minutes it stinks what a
horrible can you imagine
we're going i mean i remember the last couple years i did shit like that yeah i
was like what am i
what am i doing even as a youth i hated it same same get me a dive bar as bill
hicks would say
under a beer light i look pretty cool you know well i'm not gonna do it with
like a stare i might do
it i might win you over with like a joke or some shit i'm not gonna i'm not
gonna go home with a
woman based on being like totally or dance moves i'm like at the club it doesn't
work everybody's
doing blow in the bathroom it's so loud the bottle service you feel like you
can't afford anything i
hate clubs you see people waiting in that line in the winter and you're like
you should be in a mental
hospital yes you deserve to be put away like if you're there for more there
should be a timer if
you're there for more than 20 minutes and it's 20 degrees or lower just swoop
them up toss them in a
van they're never to be heard from again totally shutter island too right there
we did it agreed and i have
these people have gds i'm like you can stand out here in a in a fucking mini
skirt in 12 degree
weather go to school this is very good this strong yeah do you want to try it
yeah it's got a kick
and uh this is a what's it called bene what's the brand we should give this a
shout out i think it's
a home school negroni made with small batch bene i don't know what's the actual
brand name is chill on
ice bounce rock negroni is one of the best cocktails oh yeah you can't do much
better than a
negroni you know what's in it uh sweet vermouth campari and gin nice there you
go i love i make
them at home a lot i mean we were we did ari's podcast uh recently and he had
the monkey 47 gin
that shit is it's super expensive but it's incredible yeah i've never actually
bought a bottle but i i've
been around a lot of people who do yep it's very nice very nice is he a finer
things type of guy
you know what he's he's specific here's ari i went to his house i showed up
before you he's got
a record player going with the who on the blower which was cool and then he was
making coffee in one
of those uh beakers so you're like you're that guy you know he's swirling it
and it goes in the funnel
and all that hipster he's a hipster that's exactly what he's like he's a hipster
doofus he's kramer
but kramer's act is better
just a later phase yeah kramer was called the amazing racist too
yeah he took the title
romari um sacramento is and that's such a weird club because it's a great room
but you're right
next to a mattress shop i know and you know they've heard it all like oh i'm
performing next
to a mattress shop totally totally i i had to make that joke as well and uh it's
just a cute sleepy
california town yeah uh we played ping pong all day like uh one of the the
feature he's like oh my
friend lives here we're gonna go meet him have lunch and play ping pong at his
house you go there
the bike's in the front lawn the door's unlocked it's a cute neighborhood we
played ping pong in his
shed it's just so california living then i checked the news snowstorm in new york
everybody's
bunkered down it's ruined and the hobos are frozen outside they're holding
their dicks how weird was
that so we i got the same reports obviously i'm in baltimore my show it's cold
but it wasn't that i
mean yeah took a walk on the on the water with my uncle and you're like oh this
is fucking cold oh
wow what were you doing a mob hit what were you guys couldn't have any uh i'm
his consigliere i was
like all right just tell me what you need i uh no we did that and of course you
know it snowed a
little bit there but new york i'm watching like chris de stefano sal vulcano adrian
i pollute you
they're all like my show is canceled and people are messaging me is your show
still happening i'm
like looking around i'm like yeah it's happening yeah right but there's some
kind of community love
with the new york snow i feel like the city 