Name: Ep 75: Anthony DeVito
Uploaded: 2022-05-16T01:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 75: Anthony DeVito' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 75: Anthony DeVito' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-16. Transcript available.

Ep 75: Anthony DeVito

hey folks here we are we might be drunk we're doing it and we got rum and cokes
here and our
old pal anthony devito man what's up what's shaking to see you dude nothing
much man good
to see you guys oh you went jersey tony on us all of a sudden here you got you're
using the
ottoman i don't think anyone's ever used it before yeah man i mean i i do like
whenever i'd like to
get as comfortable as humanly possible in any situation uh-huh because i i you
know i don't
know you guys are pretty similar where you like you have nerves all the time do
you know what i
mean yes like some kind of underbelly of nerves so if i can get as appear as
comfortable as possible
my body might be fooled into thinking like i'm super relaxed right that's why
we put the whiskey
in there oh yeah no man this is all great this is a great setup i'm glad you
guys could join me on my
pod this is a lot of this is great you know that that's that shit is true
though they say i read a
fun fact if you smile even if you're not actually happy your brain will think
you're happy and it'll
help you feel better i think that's the movie the joker right there i'm doing
great yeah yeah i must
be that's how like dumb we are that's so crazy that you could just fool
yourself with uh a smile
but i remember doing that like starting off i think because i saw like uh i
think like i would
watch like nick turner seems so comfortable on stage yeah and he would just
like he would hold the
mic stand and he would just kind of like lean in certain ways and it was like
he probably was doing
the same thing but i was like that guy is comfortable so for like for years i
did that with like but with
like a timber like a shaking voice you know what i mean i'm not pulling anybody
i totally this is
gonna sound like bullshit i remember you going from here to here comedically
with like confidence
yeah just picked it up a notch and i went up to you because we were all
struggling and you know
you're clueless as a comic like should i do this should i do that should i do
this and should i go
blackface should i go props you know we're all thinking and you're case both
yeah we all supported
it yes thank you for that these were different times three years ago hopefully
that footage is an
unearthed but i hate unearthed it's so dramatic but my point is you know i went
up to you because i was
just always looking for tips or notes or anything and you i said you your
confidence is up what would
you do would you change and all you said was every line that comes into my head
i just say it now
instead of worrying like is this funny is that something is it you just just
regurgitate it all
just throw it out there it doesn't work for everybody by the way i think mel
gibson and michael richards
did not end well i mean there's a little censoring yeah yeah for sure but no
like yeah but i think
even i think i needed that you know what i mean to then get back to like okay i
can think a little
bit more but i felt so reserved that i was like oh i can't riff at all or be in
the moment because
i'm so held back by like whatever filter i have going on so it was like i had
to just be like oh
just say anything say it and then clean it up later yeah and it was also that
was years ago where
it was like before everyone filmed anything anonymity was nice yeah so it was
like it was huge to be
able to just bomb without any worry i know i know isn't that crazy you need
that for comedy i used to think
about doing prom shows i said the worst shit oh my god oh my god and then when
you fuck
that was actually the least offensive art
i was still doing my act i still counted it um no i remember there was one
night at lol and it's
like i can't remember for the life of me what i said i just have this very
vivid memory of looking
an old indian man in the face giving him the finger and going fuck you and
getting off and
it's like i whatever like went up to that moment like but it's like exactly you're
like yeah i am
so happy club he probably deserved it yeah i still stand by that i think he did
i think it was one rude
engineer from bangladesh i do but uh the good thing about you is you can go
wait i'm indian
you do have the ethnically ambiguous look i mean what do you get i mean i get i
you know jewish is the
most common but i think that's just a product of like living in new york there's
more jews here
than others just means you're an uncool italian yeah i never get italian which
is like always very
insulting but i i got this the other day and i didn't really know what it meant
because i don't
know a ton about judaism but i was outside like joe's pizza like uh in williamsburg
and i was just
eating a slice and this guy comes up to me and he was like are you jewish and i
was like i'm not and
he goes ah that's a shame we needed a 12th we need a 12th jew i don't know for
what what is that like
12 step jew program but i i don't know but i for me i was like you're not doing
yourself any favors
with like their sorcery involved yeah i was like maybe it's a softball team it
could have been a
softball team it could have been six on six softball i think it was some and i
don't know but i think it
was some kind of ceremony that and not not anything devious but just some kind
of religious ceremony
you look in the window they're putting deer blood on their face
i think the jews do put uh like uh sheep blood on the door it's on something it's
on something there's
blood involved i'm a terrible jew or like orthodox like uh like the super jewish
do that
they put like they'll use animal blood goat's blood i think it is priest put it
on their finger after
they do uh what they do that's just celebratory i don't knock that jew blood
but yeah no i would
get jewish a lot i used i mean like i got mexican more when i was younger but i
think i've like aged
out of mexican a little bit and now it's i mean now it's pretty much strictly
the occasional jewish but
like the standard is middle eastern yeah middle eastern yeah i see the most yes
i get that the most
often like any audition i've ever i've showed up to auditions i remember
showing up to an audition for the
part of samir and then when i signed into the call sheet there were six guys
named samir there
it's like yeah he's here like there's no way i'm gonna get it that's crazy it
might not have been
six there's probably like three or whatever but you know i am good though for
for roles because
you're probably the only guy who's auditioned for harold and kumar
yeah they save a buck that way exactly yeah it i do and then i have another uh
memory of like um
whoever the guy is that directed the born identities like doug i'm not sure his
last name oh lyman yeah
doug lyman is that lyman yeah yeah he's the first one he did swingers oh okay
yeah so he there was
something like verizon commercial and i would only go out for like you know cab
driver hot dog vendor you
know hijacker so it's this verizon commercial and they i was just doing the cab
driver and i was
doing the lines it was a callback so it was like you know this is a big deal it's
one of the first
auditions there's so many people in the room i'm nervous and like the born
identity is like my mom's
favorite movie so i walk in and i was like hey man born identity is my mom's
favorite movie he could
give a fuck about that yeah yeah so i sit down i started doing the cab driver
and they just go they
were like ah can you do this like a little more ethnic for us and i was like
well like what do you
mean how many years ago with this i mean this was probably like six years ago
yeah this is pretty
this is climate change yes you could get away with this in a casting room so
like and i was like now
they say a little more uh new york authentic a little more uh i don't know jackson
heights um could
you be smellier so i'm so i'm doing it and then um and i said because i was
very i was like i was
worried because i was like look i can't do the voice so if you want me to do
the voice it's going
to be racist right because i'm not good at the voice and that's how it's just
going to be and they're like i'm sure it'll be fine so the minute i start yeah
i don't even say words i just go
oh here we go yeah i i don't even say words i just go oh duty booty where
should we go ma'am
it's not even in the script and they were like yeah that'll be enough why did
you add stuff i felt
the character oh man you're the reason they killed off our poo yeah yeah yeah
yeah no and and i remember
hari was right outside the room and right after that i saw him take out his notepad
and just furiously
write yeah yeah damn booty booty doobie that's not good but yeah i just it was
exactly i was like ah let
me try to find it yeah so i did that first to like rev the engine and it was so
horrible you got down you
started praying five times at the audition and that's my biggest fear is that
like those casting
directors get they have the tapes and they just get drunk and they just watch
the tapes with each
other or they go oh this guy's somebody now right we're gonna leave this this
is going to be a tragedy
but they get to enjoy that later like remember that guy with the booty i do
kind of love that yeah
that they could at least have a good time with that what is going on with self-tapes
have you
ever gotten i've auditioned i've done 900 self-tapes i've never gotten one uh
maybe i've gotten two
callbacks in 900 maybe that's pretty good yeah we're not actors no i mean that's
the thing is like
we're going against people but think about this we're going against people who
their whole life
is acting right it's literally like them showcasing on a stand-up show with us
yeah
how come i can't book this i know you're on with pros and mine's like an iphone
tilted
up on a counter and i'm like am i in front of it you know and then you have to
re-watch it to make
sure you got halfway in it i'm always reading it with my friend i read with
john weisberg all the
time who's like stuttering through his words yeah you're blowing the rhythm i
know yeah i do it yeah
i do it with julia my fiancee who's like gets too into it there gets like it
clicks in her a little
bit that she's like i could have this role right and then all of a sudden it's
like you're making this
about you and now it's a major problem because you're doing so much better than
me off screen
right and like you're making me look horrible right and i get it yeah i also
think i mean the three of
us not that whatever you guys you know like you guys are amazing comics but i
don't think the three
of us whatever shut up but keep it moving um but the three of us i don't know
that we're like natural
performers no you know what i mean we love writing jokes and we love stand-up
but like you know if i if
that just happens to be the medium we have to we have to get up there and say
the jokes yes you know
acting is i mean look some great comics are great actors of course but a lot of
acting is the opposite
of comedy comedy is like trashing pretentious vulnerability yeah all that shit
and that's our
whole that's our weakness that's our kryptonite i see headshots and i'm like
get out yeah that's
actors yeah exactly there's something to to be a good actor you have to be able
to read bad dialogue
well yeah and like we hate bad dialogues we're more writers and actors so it's
you know and you have
to like turn that part of your brain off that's like insecure and some of that
insecurity makes you a
great comic because you're constantly in turmoil with yourself inside so if you're
an actor you just
don't hear any of that and you can just be so emotional and vulnerable yeah but
every moment
we're checking ourselves and being like you can't what are you nuts you can't
act like that you lunatic
oh dude but that's what makes you great as a comic terrible as an actor exactly
that i did an
audition in la and i went to the place this is eight years ago i was damn
remember going to auditions
it would take your whole day you drive around la in a renta