Name: Ep 77: Bloody Mary
Uploaded: 2022-05-30T01:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 77: Bloody Mary' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 77: Bloody Mary' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-30. Transcript available.

Ep 77: Bloody Mary

Hey folks here we are we might be drunk we're doing it we're back oh good to
see
you man you too you look good you too oh thank you I got I got eight hours of
sleep last night which is so rare for me I got like six and a half which is
honestly I'll take it six and a half isn't bad it's not a horrible number no
because you're in your you're going towards seven yeah that's pretty good
wasn't hard like of course I got well a year of construction my building just
but but and you can't talk shit cuz you got the hammer yeah where you at on
sleep mask would you do I do it you do it at home yeah you don't know it's nice
I
got drapes yeah and they match the carpet but wow what's wrong with it I don't
I
mean nothing's wrong I just I just want to wake up and wake up I don't I got
the
Tempur-Pedic so it like it almost like puts pressure on the eyelids it's kind
of
nice I like it yeah that's pretty good yeah what about a fan all my friends
going up I gotta have a fan going that's like a lady thing I feel like oh the
fan
because they always want it to be a little colder and the sound I think right
right yeah women are always cold but they also want it to be cold that's true
yeah that's true it's uh remember that great David tell joke he's like you know
why women like a vibrator sounds like it's listening
damn brilliant damn I know he's the king how do you find that angle I know
exactly I've heard 800
vibrator jokes never heard that that's a clean vibrator yes that's right that's
why it's oh man
well uh yeah I like the noise machine it was raining gently last night I know
which is like oh my god
I think that helps that's the absolute best yeah cuz it's funny if you go on
YouTube there's all these
like sleep four-hour sleep sound you know it's like rain or waves or whatever
for me it's they need to
make a New York one it's just hobo lady yelling guy screaming you know deranged
guy talking about
the government or whatever a black Israelite like you need to listen I'm like
this is beautiful let me yeah exactly the Jews it's like a Farrakhan thing yeah
I was in Utah all weekend and I'll tell you man every downtown is crazy right
now I know it is like drugs I mean meth people losing their jobs but like it's
crazy because Vita and I were like this is like a video game yeah we're walking
by and we'd see a guy I'm like this guy looks like a boss you know he's like
walking toward you like shit
it's like holding a knife we're just I'm like all right you go right you go
left everyone in Utah is either uh is either that or like hi I'm brother Gary
how are you there's no middle ground no well I feel like the middle in Utah are
these people they have neck tattoo they're ripped they all look like ex UFC
fighters and all the women there look like old porn stars they got fake tits
and lips that's true there's a big milf community oh yeah the real housewives
of Salt Lake that's right yeah they all have kids well because they all got the
husbands wouldn't fuck
them in their early 20s unless they were married so they got married at like 22
right and now they're single again at 40 yeah and they're horny as shit because
they haven't fucked their husband in five years yeah and they don't drink
because they're all Mormon oh my god that looks creamy dude that looks like
Thousand Island dressing what the hell is this a penne alla vodka what are you
making us here I know that's our uh fully loaded Bloody Mary today what is it
loaded with oh we got everything in there we got the traditional stuff horseradish
uh Worcestershire some some uh pepper salt with the tahini rim and then we got
a cornichon and stuffed olives on top I love a cornichon with your uh you know
the uh obligatory celery stick yep a little lemon juice some Tabasco and for an
extra kick of spice they added some uh red-eyed chilies in there damn I'm not
gonna lie to you it's the best Bloody Mary I've ever had wow
thank you for that that is phenomenal I've had a lot of these at airports let
me see what's what
I really hope I lose out the airport Bloody Mary wow that's damn good you came
in second at the United
Lounge well after 9-11 I had one celebration this is really good
mmm that's crazy that is amazing and it's just spicy enough not too much you
gotta make one for Peters who
a producer who's apparently never had a Bloody Mary how has you've never had a
Bloody Mary well Peters hates vegetables let's be honest
listen we'll pop his tomato it's fine look how much work he put into that I'm
not doing that what that's so much work
you can order it oh okay how have you know are you like a are you a kill a hangover
with a beer guy is that what it is
I've only had like two hangovers oh get out of here with that two hangovers
that's really upsetting you here
sorry I'll leave I feel like I've had two hangovers this week
uh no this is uh this is great I love a Bloody Mary over a mimosa those are
like the brunch options
I think but Bloody Mary you can order in like a shithole that's why I like you're
not ordering a
mimosa in a dive bar good point good and also it's I think you go for the
Bloody Mary for the savory over
sweet if you're like an eggs over pancakes for breakfast person which I am yes
this is the hetero
mimosa exactly Cal Canane has a great joke about like there's this guy who sent
back a mimosa on a
Friday night in a dive bar and I knew I could kill him but then he sent it back
and I knew he was an
assassin so you know I just like who would order you know like a brunch drink
out of that dive bar
yeah like confidently so like you know what I just finished my Bloody Mary and
I got the fuck out of
there like it's like Leo ordering a cranberry juice yeah departed remember that
what are you on your
period great scene I just watched a four-hour Martin Scorsese breakdown it was
amazing what is it
it's just on YouTube I just get sucked into these it just starts his whole
career to the the final movie
what's his last movie uh uh geez he did Hugo Hugo is good then he did Wolf of
Wall Street great I love
that love that yeah I can't remember now but he's got all these other ones that
we haven't heard he did
a Bob Dylan biopic right I didn't see that what's the last one oh Irishman oh
yeah that was it was
solid solid too long they really spend way too much money on that anti-aging
stuff I mean De Niro's body
it's like oh you saw him kicking the guy and I'm like this looks more painful
for you yeah that was that
was I've seen the the Jussie Smollett fight look more real than that fucking
thing yeah that was bad
it was the last I mean you know who's amazing in that movie though is Pesci it's
like oh yeah because
it's a treat to just see Pesci show up at this point so true and it had all the
the usual suspects it
was De Niro Pesci Harvey Keitel yes uh it was great great time I tell kind of
underrated man I
agree always brings it always decent hog too there's a big big bad lieutenant
you see a hog right yeah
I've got I you know it's funny I was just going down like a YouTube rabbit hole
on the road and I was
watching Nicolas Cage bad lieutenant scenes oh yeah we're seeing that in the
theater not and just
being like what the fuck is this it's pretty funny it's funny yeah Cage is fun
yeah he goes for he's
got that new movie out where he um looks good yeah look he's just like making
fun of himself it's it's
like a meta kind of play on himself it's all only he could really do something
yeah it looks it looks
really good oh yeah and the fact that he's got these gambling debts so he has
to do Ghost Rider 2
I find endearing it's like he's like the norm of movie yes yes exactly and he's
good too on top of
it so you get he's so good he's almost too good for a certain move you can
always tell when he knows
he's in a stinker because he just like overdoes it and he's like if I'm going
down I'm going down
like a fucking G yes like Con Air or Face Off is so hilariously over the top
even though the
National Treasures they made a couple of those those are silly are they good no
I mean they're fun
they're like Disney horse shit you know it's a fun action family movie
adaptation's incredible
incredible that's that's one of the best performances that and leaving Las
Vegas yeah yeah that's it well
that's a downer though oh yeah but like family man family man is solid is it I
think it's solid I think
it's a solid holiday like is it cheesy absolutely but it's like he's amazing in
it okay okay he plays
like the miserable rich guy who like it's like what's what's the what's the
movie that it's kind
of a remake of hmm he's also in a movie called the weatherman which I thought
was underrated yeah
it was dark yeah yeah it was pretty good I used to work at blockbuster so I'd
see all these box I
could see the boxes in my head that was a great box great box that's I was
about to jump in
so yeah Utah huh yeah Utah's all right though where were you you in DC right I
was all over listen to
this run I did Pittsburgh University oh yeah how was that great the guy this
guy Russ who put the
whole thing on is a genius because he took the the show took it out of the
university and put it at
the improv so all the college kids came to the improv your turf my turf
different rules he's like
say anything you want he's like they were nervous about your content they
watched your special
and they had some some doubts they didn't want to have you so I said what if we
move them off
campus they said great wow that's a great idea yeah so a hot show great a good
room you ever been
there yeah yeah good room a good layout right by those abandoned uh trail
tracks yeah rail tracks
rather yeah yeah it's like a steam uh what do you call that uh steel town you
know it's all those
steel mine Pittsburgh is cool I've had good times I mean that we've got the Warhol
museum yeah he uh got some cool restaurants downtown it's kind of a pretty city
too I heard
that ballpark is legendary beautiful and you fly over it's almost like Chicago
it's just like the
river with the bridges going through it's great yeah Pittsburgh's cool so that
was great got out of
there and went to Charlottesville did the southern you should do this room yeah
killer I would but the
Jews can't replace you it was good yeah small like black box like 200 seats I've
done it oh you did
it okay I've done it before yeah yeah great room with fat Chris Al and we we uh
we hit that up and
then we did Durham the Carolina theater so I rented a car drove to Durham and
then flew to DC the next
day and did the Lincoln highlight of my life beautiful theater it looked
beautiful
Chris Rock special uh killing him softly's there and uh Bill Byrne's why do I
do this is all
at the Lincoln classics classics and uh just uh it it hits you I'm backstage
with Chris Allen like
what the fuck are we doing that imposter syndrome no oh my god come on when you
when you go from
the Pittsburgh improv to the Lincoln theater it's like who am I what is this
you know dude you're
putting in work you know it's it's it's payoff for the work you've been putting
in it's nice payoff
yeah so we had then the beauty of it though you try to enjoy it too I'm trying
I'm trying because I
understand I feel it too the imposter syndrome yeah but at the same time you
know you gotta when you
have these milestones you gotta feel it you gotta feel it yeah so of course you're
right you gotta be
gracious so I put up a cheesy Instagram post because I was just beaming about
the whole thing
I liked it yeah yeah and then here's the here's where the psycho kicks in we do
the uh Lincoln
theater Sean Joyce goes I got a brand new club it's 110 seats you want to come
do it I go I'm on my
way yeah we go to this place called the hotbed and uh just do bullshit sets I
saw the comedy artwork
guy post a picture of it was of you but with a mustache and fake glasses on
like a bad disguise
is this supposed to be known that it's you yeah yeah but it wasn't you know
yeah yeah but it was
all your it was all your people though yeah the pro