Name: EP 80: Bodega Cat
Uploaded: 2022-06-20T01:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'EP 80: Bodega Cat' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'EP 80: Bodega Cat' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-20. Transcript available.

EP 80: Bodega Cat

hey folks whoa this is it the new studio holy hell we're here we're queer it's
loaded up for
bear i mean this is very this table is bigger than my dad's asshole look at
this thing your
dad's asshole is huge huge and it tastes great he's got a gaping hole yeah oh
yeah especially
after i'm done with him all right we're starting off hot we haven't wasted any
time in this new
studio yeah remember anal poppers what happened to those anal poppers i heard
about i feel like i
heard about anal poppers every 20 minutes in the 80s the worst kids candy ever
yeah they pop in your
mouth remember uh what was it pop rocks pop rocks the whole thing is you put
them in the soda that
was a whole yeah yeah then you feel like you're dying or something i hate it ah
yeah i was never
a pop rocks kid me neither it was it was the heroin of candy it was too much
yeah that if you did that
as a kid you're a big uh like uh red bull drinker as an adult yes that's like
the type of you're
like all right that's true coffee guys if i see a guy drink a red bull i'm like
all right whatever
but if i see a guy drink a rock star i immediately lose respect for you really
i'm just gonna come
out and say it i'm sorry and if i see you with an amp it's over you ever seen
amp drink i think that
came and went and then there was this right the white can of rock star is the
whitest trash thing
i've ever seen what's the difference between the white and the black well there's
a few
the black can is bigger but uh no though the white one i don't know it just it's
i always see it in
like guys trucks and shit yeah toothless guys have the white can maybe it's a
racial thing i don't know
but there it is dude i haven't seen you forever man oh yeah it's gonna be back
a minute we've been
we we backlogged a few in that old studio because of the move and here we are
salamanca hey good to
see you there good to be back having a long weekend so we're doing vodka sodas
here taking it easy
taking it easy big i mean i've been to europe you've recorded stuff uh we've
been on the road lots
happening and we gotta we gotta shout out to peters for just killing the studio
this studio man
looks great well done look we uh yeah i've been every i mean we were we were in
la together that
was pretty epic oh yeah that's right geez i forgot about that time has passed
yeah we got uh
overpriced sushi yeah and then uh not a big fan of this is it pronounced omakas
i don't even know
what that is omakase i think it's omicron omicron we got omicron sushi it was
horrible
give me the chills shit myself when you guys are burying the lead sam was on
david letterman yeah
oh that's why of course i saw it live i got some pics yeah no it was awesome
mark was there just
hanging with me to it's funny i see other comics there they've got like 20
friends i literally have
my agent and mark everyone else has like this whole crew i'm like this is my
crew i got norman
and berkowitz is my two but you know but you know you uh mark was there like
taking my mind off of
before putting me at ease whatever and then he had to go host a show so i don't
realize mark is at
the late tape until i get a text and he texts me one of my lines and i was like
oh that's pretty
cool yeah you know but uh pretty amazing pretty surreal watching you guys in
the same couch talking
oh yeah of course you got to plug this well done look at this legend did you
ever think you would
see this this video and in history this is insane well dude it's funny you know
when you know how it
goes when you're young you like dream about being interviewed by letterman
right when you're a kid
i mean i would think about game seven it's game seven yeah i always wanted to
and then he's off the
air and you're like that'll never happen you know yeah that's just how it is
and then uh he was so
freaking cool super cool before the show he invited every comic who was on this
to just one-on-one in
his green room and he uh we're just chatting in his green room i'm just talking
to david letterman and
i'm like i don't know what vibe you hear stories you can be a little prickly
you don't know he was
the warmest guy ever i literally walk i walk in he goes you know so i've
watched a lot of your stuff
i'm already like what wow that's insane and then he goes uh he goes you know
the the rooftop thing
is so resourceful like so you just kept working he was he's fascinated by
social media i mean
obviously he's why is he such a great interviewer there's like a lot of reasons
but his curiosity he's
so curious so he's like you know uh yeah he was asking me stuff in the room he's
like so so i don't
understand how you you know you make money off the the social medias and i was
like well you tour you
make the money on tour and he's like huh because in his day it was all about
like the sitcom and
and that's how you made the money and you know i think his whole him like being
like oh so you can
circumvent these gatekeepers now i think he was super into that he hates
management and gatekeepers oh
really yeah i like that but then he but then he uh at one point was like do
whatever this interview is
like if you want steamroll me whatever it takes for you to shine he's like this
is about you i was
like in my head i'm like is he fucking with me am i gonna get out there and is
he gonna be like so sam
you're a limp dip uh limp dicks fuck i'm just like what the hell is he gonna do
no uh that'd be great
if you decided like you know what fuck this so what was up with that intern dave
he's like jesus christ
what are you doing no he was you know the first taping you weren't at the first
taping my agent
nearly lost his fucking mind because i come out and i'm in tight jeans and my i
guess it was like uh my
phone is poking out and i go out to do my first bit it hits pretty hard you
know and they yell out i hear a
voice from up top sam and i'm like is that god who the hell's talking to me sam
and everyone's like
confused obviously i'm like is someone really fucking up my set right now yeah
after my opener
hit yeah you're gonna make me she goes there's a there's a uh a bulge in your
pants i'm like thank
you no she goes there's a bulge in your pants she goes it's your phone i was
like all right so i had
to like riff off that she goes she says is something poking out of your pants i
said yeah it's my cock and
i gotta laugh thank god all right saving the moment but she goes you got to
restart the set and i'm kind
of like that is comedy death well my head in my head i'm kind of like just
fucking roll with it what
else i mean it's already happened what can you do i get off dave is joking
around so letterman goes uh
he goes get the fuck off like playfully you know get the fuck off and then he
and then he grabs me as
i'm going off he goes i'm so sorry i'm so so sorry and i said it's cool and i
go off and i'm like
all right and i kind of i do my opener again exact same joke i have to this
time it hits even harder
because the crowd is fucking mad for me oh so they're behind me for you they're
rooting for me
so i was like all right honestly it might have been good that it happened in a
weird way damn that is
interesting wow the little behind the scenes stuff and what a cool what a mensch
to be so nice he knows
what this means you know uh when i was working with seinfeld he's very generous
he's very nice
because he knows that you're freaking out and that's pretty pretty uh
thoughtful pretty aware
yeah that's nice of these older guys even he is like he doesn't realize how big
because at one
point he was like i mean what's next i'm like dude i'm talking to you i'm
talking to david
like this is a big moment dude you're like there was a part of you where you're
like no this is this
is all right yeah that was a great ending you had you were so quick on your
feet you were in the zone
and uh he goes uh so how you doing otherwise you good you're like how am i
doing i'm on the couch
with david fucking letterman and that went the place went nuts yeah i mean
great way to end it
so i know you're an emotional boy yeah did you yeah did you feel it at all uh
yeah i mean i was you
know what the thing was that was a tough weekend for me because i was literally
you know i taped two
shows of that last night that night on a friday and then the next day is when i
did the beacon
so i literally i had to wake up at like 5 a.m or earlier i think it was 4 a.m
what a week to get
back to new york to do the beacon theater that night so i'm the second i'm out
of there i'm like
fuck it muscle relaxer i think i took it backstage whoa let's let the muscle
relaxer hit so i can get
at least two hours yeah and uh i've walked sam home he was living and then i
get to the airport i see
chris de stefano hey and chris and i and chris is like you could do it man just
try to get like
at least two more hours of sleep on the flight he's like he's like amping me up
to sleep
and then i pass out i get up and he i just as i wake up i just see chris like
that's great that's so funny the idea of you taking a muscle relaxer you're you
pass out on
the plane sam's not waking up oh my god cancel the beacon oh man um but very
excited i mean that's a
milestone oh that big was so cool that mark was there with me too it's it's a
good feeling man
i was with you the next night you're with me the next night yeah the beacon can
we hear about the
beacon or i mean is that i gotta hear about it insane man it's it's new york
city it's i mean
you perform there it's crazy it's uh yeah it's uh how many times we walked
under that marquee going
to stand up new york or or whatever like oh steely dan oh carlin oh uh fish or
whoever you know it's
always some huge thing or paul simon yeah and then sam marill crazy crazy i
mean it's uh one of the
best i mean it's like you almost can't picture a better room right it's like
yeah so uh especially
for a new yorker like you like you grew up 10 blocks from there maybe uh yeah i
grew up close
to there so it's pretty damn crazy uh not 10 blocks but i mean it would it
would that's a
yeah it's the upper west side it's it's iconic it's i mean i'd only been to one
show there i saw
the greg giroldo benefit there which was like jesus christ talk about like
murderers fucking row
oh yeah it was like a tell colin quinn uh seinfeld wow it was black i mean just
everyone was a murderer
uh crazy you know i mean the beacon is as good as it gets man it's the best so
cool and isn't it
weird and this is this is where i get mushy about comedy but something about
comedy and success and
doing well it all happens in spurts have you noticed that like you did letterman
at the netflix fest
then the beacon 20 hours later and then a special i'm like yeah can we pace
this exactly yeah it hits
you in a point where you're like jesus christ let me take a fucking breath it
always seems to happen
i did a uh last comic standing failed then i went and did my half hour got had
some uh virus from
eating ass and then i went and did my album you were puffy in the half oh was i
put pull that up
pull that up i look like you when is it i was just so bloated i had all these i
had this no no no
comedy social half hour i'm so bloaty and fat i look like i've been floating in
a river for three days
it was crazy you got you got that from eating bud yeah it's a fecal matter
thing
damn just fecal matter it's called h pylori better better to eat ass off stage
than on
that's true uh the more you know the more you know yeah just yeah let's see can
we just put up
a still yeah is there a still yeah sure because i am uh i am a mess but i had
to push through you
know comedy central back then they're oh look at these fucking queefs they don't
they don't give
you an inch hard to believe they're fucking failing oh yeah that does not look
like i'm deep and
this is me with a ton of makeup on i'm like i'm like a different guy you'd be a
terrible drag queen
yeah yeah look at that i remember i didn't know what i had so i thought i had
aids because wow i just
didn't know i