Name: Ep 81: Tom Segura
Uploaded: 2022-06-27T01:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 81: Tom Segura' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 81: Tom Segura' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-27. Transcript available.

Ep 81: Tom Segura

hey hey folks here we are we might be drunk we're really doing it the bartender's
late
but fuck him he's a rabid raging alcoholic uh we got we got a guest today tommy
segura
what's shaking fetty what's up man good to have you we're pumped to have you
man we're
just talking clubs before we're rolling just talking i mean so you'll still hit
clubs when
you are working out the hour oh yeah yeah yeah that's what i did for this uh
this current hour
i did i mean i kind of did it for i would have done it more continuously it
wasn't for
that 2020 thing that happened but it was um yeah it was all like club weekends
and then building
building and then you go like all right like i can take it to a theater show
now but yeah that's
the way to do it i think do you are there certain cities that you want to hit
every time um i saw
play in lexington once actually i enjoyed that that's a great club yeah that
room coming off
broadway that's it yeah that's a good one um i love doing the ice house like i
told you in pasadena
that's a good one then there's like clubs that you just you personally have so
much comfort in
so like uh the brea improv for me is where i like first did a feature set whoa
who'd you feature for
uh actually the very first time was cosby i got i got promoted during the
weekend oh bad host well
had a had a rough go okay it was a tell wow yeah what yeah wow holy shit well
that's gotta feel good
to get promoted yeah it was with a tell yeah the king and i was like super
fucking like like a child
like like like you know like a kid with like lebron i was like like staring at
him he's like he's like
do you ever blink like shit like that you know yeah green room and like he gets
more shout outs on
this podcast than i think any comic i have a fucking like whole chapter about
him i've told your story
that actor thing uh-huh i've told that on this podcast that's such have you
heard that what i think
i told on this bug i don't think we told on this podcast well i'll let you tell
it because it's it's
so good oh yeah because so i so that weekend i got to end up featuring for him
and it was my first time
featuring a weekend for the improvs and for anyone and i was like you know i
was like i'm a feature
now like it was amazing right and then i started to get work from them like
that and then the next
year so like a year has gone by i get a call i'm working a day job they're like
hey um do you want to
work like this coming weekend at the uh improv and bray i was like yeah sure
they go you've been
requested and i was like oh by who and he go and they go david tell i'm like
wow no right so i was
like fuck yes so i'm working the weekend and i'm like now i'm a little more
confident and i start you
know where i think we do like thursday show and then after the first show friday
we're in the green
room and he was like uh you don't have like a you don't have 20 new minutes i
was like what
and he's like i mean you did some of those jokes last year and i was like oh uh
yeah i guess he
goes i mean do you want to be like an actor or something oh my god from him
hearing that from him
and i was like i mean kind of yeah but then i was like fuck i mean yeah it was
like i mean it makes
you right what a favor he did you though he did like multiple favors yeah that's
also the uh the
weekend where i was like you know everybody everybody at that time so this
would have been
like 2006 everybody was putting out albums albums were still like a hot thing
and it was like kind
like they were you know comedy central records and all these like record
companies and comedians were
just like that was the thing i've got a new album oh yeah so and he was like
almost most famous for
skanks for the memories which was yeah an album yeah so every comic talked
about that album so i was
like yeah i uh i'm thinking i go i'm wondering if i should put out an album you
know like i think i
wonder if i should record an album and he's like fucking you know smoking yeah
and he goes do you
have an hour you love and i was like uh no he goes
and i but then like i thought about it and i was like oh yeah that and i didn't
record anything for
another like four years wow yeah i mean i i definitely wasn't ready then anyway
but it was like here i
if he hadn't said that or i hadn't heard that from someone i probably would
have been like i should
probably do something you know yeah i feel like this is so it's like from a
dude who cares that's
yeah and it's like a great give a shit it's a great uh exactly um but it's also
a great thing like
when someone's like i wonder if i should record it's like do you have an hour
you love right now
yeah like is it ready yeah you know because people want the glitz and the gland
the glory and the
clicks hey good for you man but it's always too soon i feel like especially now
now well now it's
like people are putting up like their first set you're like i know this is
crazy i'm sure you get
it uh too where like people send it to you they're like hey will you watch this
yes you don't want
me to you're like dude i don't want i really don't want to watch this you want
me to watch it less
yeah right i'll watch it in four years when you hate it too yeah yeah and then
we can have a laugh
about it right yeah right yeah tell is uh you know he's all of our favorites
whatever but like
still to this day i think all right i think he respects me now and he'll see me
he'll go
hey you got anything new and i'm like so now i have to do a bit yeah to you and
so then i i'll do like
one and he's like yeah yeah and i'm like ah come on he doesn't give no but uh
you know and the
craziest thing was that when um so i did uh back in september uh pete had this
like um fundraiser
show september 11 thing right where like and it was like yeah the garden yeah
so it's all it's all
these comics on it right and and then it tells on there he fucking had the most
he brought out a
recorder yeah yeah but then backstage it was so funny because we're all
everybody is like
a tell right he is sitting there fucking joking with everybody yeah like trying
to make you laugh
the entire time right backstage and i was like we were all just sitting there
like the fuck like
yeah you know i was like i was like should we be trying to do this too right no
it was just him
yeah he's he but he's tough too because like one time uh we were on the stoop
at the cellar and he's
smoking and he has that filter on his cigarette and like i watched three people
come up and go what is
that thing dave and he goes apparently it's a conversation starter because he
just knows how
to get you guys probably have the same thing i do we're like you kind of like
have the built-in
belief in the hierarchy sure sure so like i don't like i'll try i'll be like oh
cool to like a guy 10
years older than me but i don't feel like we're peers no same way for sure no
we have a lot of
respect for the i mean look i mean look at the woman we you know we we yeah we
love comedy yeah
yeah of course we're nerds yeah i mean a tell is still a dude i'm like i saw
him in high school
at caroline wow did you really yeah i have a little playbill that he autographed
wow i was a dumb
kid it was like dave attell that's the greatest so uh no we still feel we talk
about we still feel
weird that we know him yeah we don't ever want to overstep we think right right
the greatest ever
yeah yeah but what about this one what if you see a guy who's 10 years old or
whatever but you don't
respect his stuff that's totally different that's totally different that's
totally different then
you're like hey what's up man yeah yeah that's true if you don't respect them
yeah hey this is the
beard jew hey how are you beard jew good good what are you making today today
we're doing uh some
bodega cat whiskey sours oh this is our whiskey by the way yeah we mark your
own we're trying to sell
a booze here yeah bodega cat you guys like this is yours yeah yeah yeah we're
going for it we're
going for unlike ron white we didn't quit drinking
16 months way to go ron hey good for you that's good he's trying to stay alive
yeah good for him
yeah once your hair is that white yeah but beautiful had a hair on that
beautiful unfucking
believable beautiful it looks like romance not like fabio's hair yes dude
exactly
kreischer though he's he's going the hair uh everything else yeah well i didn't
want to get
the family neglect yeah but yeah look at that oh my jesus christ like like a
southern fabio
yeah it really is damn yeah he's got a great head of hair it really is great drunken
public out talking
about albums that's one of the best albums ever yeah so solid he's a great guy
i met him uh for the
first time like a month ago and he was couldn't have been cooler yeah he's like
the oh like you're
talking about storytelling yes he's like the og like storyteller oh tater salad
when that came out
that like blew the roof off yeah what uh so when you were doing these clubs
like what what other
cities will you hit besides like bray i know bray is a classic yeah anything
else let's see uh
dina i'll do like i did like i think i did dayton you know because it was like
yeah out like it's
like you want to do kind of club you know almost like go into secondary markets
more i think because
you're like you want to save like your primo markets oh yeah i'm hitting fort
wayne indiana
there you go that's how to do it that's how to do it yeah tough room yeah the
lexington room
um i'm trying to think of the other ones um hmm comedy zones i've done i've
done those uh i did like
the uh omaha um oh that's a good that's a solid solid club really good club it's
one of those
chains but it's like a mom and poppy version yeah and they have like a built-in
great fan base yeah
there what about like are there any uh cities or clubs never again oh yeah yeah
here we go wuhan
what are we thinking uh i don't want to go to erie um oh i died in erie that's
a clean room isn't it
last laugh they want you to be clean jokers juniors juniors last laugh yeah
that was it i did it once
and the guy was like you got to be clean i'm talking squeaky and he hosted he
went up and he's
like so i was fucking my son in the ass he didn't have to be clean that that
that guys they were
fucking it was because they sold it though so it's not the same owners now okay
so that clean thing
came from this woman who bought the club and her husband would work the bar and
and he would like
pull you say you gotta be clean you're like you guys have said this like eight
times man yeah and
then i remember i did a set where i worked clean i did a clean 45 or whatever
it was then and then
when i got off stage the lady goes did you say penis oh i go what she goes one
of the servers said
that you said penis i go isn't that the proper way to describe the anatomy she
was like i guess
like that and i was wow wow i guess i mean it was just a nightmare and then
what a penis i asked him i
go has anyone ever like said they're gonna work clean and then just goes and
they were like yes
i've seen that a lot it was jb smooth so he said that he was like yeah all
right all right all right
and then he goes all right you ever know like a motherfucker and he just starts
like motherfucker
motherfucker yeah and he said he gets off stage the guy goes what are you doing
and he goes what he
goes you said motherfucker like a thousand times and he goes man you can't put
handcuffs on me
he's like we just had this so they fire they go you gotta go wow yeah i opened
for him once at
caroline's i don't know obsessed i don't know if i've laughed that hard in my
life uh but he was
sweating so he did a whole bit about fucking a girl like uh doggy style and
first of all he comes out
to you know and it's all jews all like new york jews who love curb 12 minutes
in they just start
walking out because they're like what the fuck is this yeah it was so filthy
and uh i was loving it
it's not like leon is a squeaky clean character on curb though no but they're
with their