Name: Ep 85: Bodega Cat Sours
Uploaded: 2022-07-25T01:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 85: Bodega Cat Sours' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 85: Bodega Cat Sours' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-25. Transcript available.

Ep 85: Bodega Cat Sours

Here we go baby we're back sorry for that burp that was gross that's normally
Norman's game
I'm copping your style dude. Yeah who are you apologizing to come on. Good to
be dude I'm my
stomach's dying I'm in pain I just had some bad oopsie poopsie as they call it
my butthole
sounded like a silencer on a gun. I thought it was a miscarriage. I don't know
what that was.
That was terrible I was dying in the bathroom I'm chugging Pepto I'm trying to
get right for
this episode oh yeah boy went hard last night yeah would you a little natural
wine a little
martini what are we talking if it was just natural wine I wouldn't be hungover
that's the
beauty of that that's true you don't really get bad hangover they deliver
everything yeah
yeah natural is the way to go that's why I can't drink beer these IPAs there's
all kinds
of hops and barley and sugar I want to kill myself the next day same with White
Claw it's
all chemicals I can have a couple beers but I can't get beer drunk because I'm
just pissing
the alcohol already disrupts your sleep now we're talking about waking up every
30 minutes
to just you know drain the lizard here I can't be doing that true what sort of
occasion makes
you drink that hard beer no just like last night I was at the comedy cellar it
was a special
occasion I'm only there 340 nights a year and you had multiple spots yeah which
is just you
just stuck there so you just got to start drinking just to get through the time
yeah when you still
when you're there like I was there from literally like 7 to 1 a.m. probably
really yeah I just I did
five shows yep mmm oh beer juice thank you what are we drinking today you got
for us today there
pretty simple straightforward whiskey sour hey nothing wrong with that I
thought we're doing
rusty nails we can also do that
oh boy that is pretty good it's a good summer drink it is I always remember he
orders a whiskey
sour and something about Mary Matt Dillon that's his drink whiskey sour yeah
mango get a forehead like
a drive-in movie theater I love that movie that's a class he steals he stands
up his pants are off
Lee Evans yes you two should be kissing my hairy fucking beanbag
classic yeah I'm hurting buddy I'm glad to be here though how you doing Sally
that'll kill the hangover
I'm strong you're good feel strong you feel strong yep hell yeah dude how about
New York right now it's
like 75 degrees sunny this is like we get like six good days in New York and
this is one of them
yeah and I almost got disrupted these fucking scumbags in the street I'm
walking to the subway some guy
just on a bicycle he's on this on the sidewalk newly takes me out and I turn
around I go fuck you and he
goes I'm sorry at least gotten I'm sorry but that's rare two women turned to be
like angry for me and
I was like hell yeah solidarity I wish I had my mace on me I would have fucking
maced his ass
was he a messenger or a delivery no he was just a dude biking
Jesus Christ you said on the subway on the fuck I was walking into the subway
oh okay I was about to go down the stairs he cuts me right off almost takes me
down
damn almost took me down to Chinatown but you know what I fucking I almost had
my mace on me
he's lucky I didn't if I was carrying he would have been fucking burning up
right now
that's a maceable offense like that's a maceable you almost take me out yeah I'm
macing you
yeah easy probably not honestly but he deserved a macing I just mace if they
get close to me
I don't know if you've seen what's going on in the city but pretty much
existing is a maceable offense
there you go yeah dude these subways lately man how about the pride parade you
hear about that
the shooting I was there the shooting yeah I was on stage during the shooting
and uh
in Washington Square Park where was the shooting it was in Washington Square
Park they claim it's
fireworks but everyone's like nah it was a shooting oh I thought it was
fireworks but then
Liz was like it's absolutely the manager of the cellar I don't know but I was
on stage so I missed
it all apparently people were like Rana in Hirschberg is getting to a spot
everyone starts running
because they hear gunshots so it's like people running for three blocks you
know sweaty tits
flopping around anal beads flopping in the air people are yeah slapping each
other in the face while
they're running you know I'm such low self-esteem I'd be like ah they know I'm
going on that's why
they're running the other way they're worried about my act dude they're running
to the get to the uh
to get out of there and I'm I missed all of it everyone I got off stage and
everyone was shaking
I was like what happened what's going on yeah yeah apparently uh my lady almost
got trampled in the
subway she said it was wild damn but it's just a bunch of like people twerking
and covered in rainbow paint
and just running for their lives yeah dude no it's parades are tough I yeah it's
I was down there um
on christopher street right around seven o'clock it was like ten to one lesbians
versus gay dudes
oh shit the way it should be yeah it's like my porn
ten to one huh a lot of lesbians were out how do you know they're lesbians
though they could just be
all humping each other like this there's like two women grinding and then
everyone else taking their
tops off doing this and pointing okay how do you know they were lesbians salicus
was jacking off
that's how he knew and they didn't like it he didn't yeah they were pissed
good photos thanks wow you were right in the heart of it huh thank you I know
exactly where that is
that's right on uh 7th ave that's the cvs I know it that's a good that's a good
cvs right there
oh yeah you want some pedialyte they'll hook you right up yeah hey nice uh boob
shot there sally
a lot of tits out oh yeah when I was a kid obviously at mardi gras everybody
would show
their tits and I remember being young and it was pre-internet porn and my uncle
came and he's from
the sticks of louisiana he'd never been a mardi gras before he brought the
camera with the neck holder
with the lens and he was just and I remember his wife was like stop it stop it
god damn it I can't
imagine he must have just developed those at home in his own dark room one hour
photo yeah yeah
one hour photo by the way can you can we talk about that the the things those
people must have
seen oh my god at a rite aid back in the day oh yeah oh there's a whole seinfeld
like a stanza
oh that's right that's right the art of seduction yeah I mean favorites we all
did a pants
yeah back in the day you had to get a dick pic developed that's true yeah that
was that was
you would take someone else's camera and do like a dick shot with it or a butt
shot yes and then just
let them develop it oh yeah you wait six months you're like that'll pay off
there's a comic there's
a whole bit about it I forget who it is but he goes it's perfect when at a
wedding everybody would
have the polaroids yes and you walk around grab one on a table boom boom that's
it nobody would know
who you are you know unless you're the only black guy at the party right or
Asian
these are good dude not bad right problem is these go down real easy what makes
it a sour
the lemon actually no well actually the sours are usually uh not just like uh a
lemon most
time lemon some kind of citrus but also they have a sweeter side and a
traditional sour will have egg
white in it really what's so what's the ingredients for a whiskey sour this is
just a very simple one
this is just a rye whiskey um I like a rye sour because it kind of like uh it's
not as sugary as uh
bourbon exactly the bigger cat right uh and uh fresh lemon juice uh simple
syrup and for this one
I also did like just a touch of triple sec just to kind of like fill it out a
little bit
taste great what is is that a blackberry in there oh and then there's a maraschino
cherry
oh this is a luxardo cherry which is a little nicer nice love it like brandy
marinated which is
like really nice and they have like great depth of flavor do these give you
cancer those maraschinos
are those bad for you the really cheap ones like are extremely sugary and
definitely very like you know
heavily processed but uh luxardo is a fantastic brand luxardo or there's
another one called febri which
go look is in those like little dutch style jars they're pretty pricey but they're
really worth it
febri they really do I mean you put a nice little it makes it it takes a
cocktail from here to here
yeah it's very nice the biggest thing about a sour is that the main thing that
changes it from just a
regular like you know putting three things together in a cup uh is like you
just have to have a really
strong hard shake and then that completely changes the texture of it and you'll
notice it like foam
up if you don't eat like eggs you can use uh what's called aquafaba which is
just chickpea juice
like just the juice from chickpeas damn flavorless a vegan alcoholic exactly
yeah exactly and it's
flavorless but it foams up just like uh egg white okay so you can use that for
foam or for like a
traditional sour you got that at home folks make your own cocktails with a
little chickpea extract
i love chickpeas man underrated underrated uh food there's a lot you could do
with them
because salad make a drink at the same time yeah well i mean hummus that's that's
a hummus is huge
huge throw chickpeas in a salad very good filling yeah a little protein you
talk about peeing a lot
so i was on this tour bus all weekend top bunk on a bus you ever done the bus i've
done the bus
top bunk the only problem with the bunk i can live with a bunk it was like
summer camp it was fun but
when you got a piss from drinking all night it is a bitch you got to climb down
then it wakes you up
you know and then you got to pee come back climb back up the bus is rocking a
little bit bus is rocking
hard to get back to bed you're driving all night yeah it's crazy crazy i was
doing ambien just to get
through it ambien yeah drinking on ambien well what are you a senator no i didn't
fuck any uh boys
but i would just do uh you know drink all night and then you got to sleep in
this coffin basically
with eight other guys i got joey diaz sleeping six inches away from me just
going
you know and i'm like ah fuck and then you kind of want to jerk off and you're
drunk and you're now
you're hung over and woozy and the bus is bumping so i had to take it by the
way is there anything
more foreshadowing than drinking yourself into a coffin
holy shit yikes this is not gonna end well for any of us i just felt my body
fighting i'm in the
bathroom like yeah this is bad yeah it's not good right well the worst part is
i got in shane gills
is coughing on accident like we're going down together oh my god i remember
growing up i was
drunk at a i was dating a girl and i was staying with her family and i was just
shit-faced and i just
walked into her brother's room and got into bed with him because i was so
fucking drunk and he was like
he was laughing about the next day but that night he was like you fucker oh wow
it's like i i had no
signals i didn't mean to put this out in the air like oh shit you wanted it too
wow thank god it
was not the sister oh my god she didn't have a sister okay i would have
hopefully gone for that
one first i was once on one oh sorry that's how little she fucked me i went for
the brother
oh i was once on one of those tour buses the coffin tour buses with corn what
what yeah
in their heyday and i was shooting them for a magazine and uh they had like all
sorts of strippers
and then a dwarf and i was like this is amazing you've got strippers and i said
the m word yeah
out loud what why because it was like right at that time where you're not
supposed to say it
yeah it was like there was a time it was okay it was like 2006 it was still it
was 1962
and i and i was like you got strippers and this and it was a record scratch
moment everyone was
like how'd you bring that here damn really the corn is is offended yeah oh tha