Name: Ep 86: Mint Julep
Uploaded: 2022-08-01T01:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 86: Mint Julep' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 86: Mint Julep' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-01. Transcript available.

Ep 86: Mint Julep

Hey folks here we are we might be drunk I'm hungover Sam's gay we're really
doing it we're
we're trading merch yeah I'm rocking comedy oh yeah you're rocking Naples
Florida that's a fun
one in Florida they sell very well really in Florida because people in Florida
get it fuck
Naples fuck Naples you heard it here first how uh how you doing man you're
holding up all right
I'm okay I'm hungover it was the lady's birthday we went out we did it up we
had a grand old time
I had that you know that moment when you're out drinking and you're like all
right if I keep going
I'm gonna be hammered and hate myself tomorrow and I said all right I better
stop she goes come on
get drunk with me and I was like oh that's nice and we got hammered wow yeah
that's a fun lady right
there I do like that moment where you're like if I keep you know it's gonna go
downhill and you embrace
it yes exactly so it was like all right give me another Manhattan and they just
kept coming and the
Manhattan's have the sugar in it and they go down so easy so then you have five
more spent way too much
you got Manhattan drunk yes where do you where do you have dinner we uh we did
the uh where did we go
oh geez this isn't good it's all a blur I know I know booze messes with your
memory but this is
well we started the Soho house because she got a membership oh wow so we we've
we overrated the
Soho house soho overrated it was brutal I mean everybody there is attractive so
you end up just
looking around all night but how do you get work done you're like trying you're
like I'm gonna get
my work done here a perfect 10 walks in yes spend ten dollars on a latte
exactly that's the biggest
misconception biggest lie in in the uh the workforce is like I'm gonna go to
the Soho house and get
some shit done and bring my laptop bullshit you're you're ogling all the skanks
you're jerking off in
the bathroom you come back you're like all right now I can work and then you're
like I'm hard again
right right yeah that pool is overrated too well it's jam-packed you know you
go up there we sat by
the pool for eight minutes it looked like Ellis Island you couldn't get a seat
it was so full
yeah it really I remember I did a meeting there once and it's like I've done I've
had people be like
we'll do a meeting at the Soho house oh yeah I know now I know this meeting is
not important
they're showing off with the Soho house yeah I think it got blown up because of
that sex in the
city episode where they're like it's got a pool in the summer that's how
desperate New Yorkers are
for a pool in the summer exactly and it's a nightmare we did hit the pool but
it's like you're just
sitting there you swam I got in I you can't really swim you bump elbows with a
gay guy so it's not
even it's not even worth it it's like the worst orgy ever yeah and it looks
like a Mick Ultra commercial
you know we're all out there like whoo here we are but you can't move and you
you're way less hot
than everyone else you look good shirtless well you should see these guys I
mean these guys all look
like uh Chris Evans or whatever jeez I look like Tom Selleck in the 80s if he
stopped lifting
yeah there you go uh well I saw some private dicks did you no no magnum pi joke
that I had to pull
out of my ass but uh yeah it was uh it was fun and where do we go to dinner jeez
I'm I'm racking
my brain here this is not good that's rough oh yeah what kind of food did you
eat do you remember
uh uh it was in the village uh lartusi is that something I didn't catch the
name did you did
you make a reservation did she pick the spot she did it she did all that damn
she did everything
she's good yeah good no it's not it's nice to have someone who schedules
because sometimes I've
been in relationships where they're like you didn't schedule oh yeah you didn't
make the reservation
I'm like oh yeah they like to take charge they like when you do it I'm like but
I like when you
do it too like how come you you you get turned on but I get turned on when you
do all of it so
I used to have a bit about that but you know I I have a dick so I gotta I gotta
yelp
what's I don't get the uh the the the move sounds like that sounds like a it
sounds like a book for
like uh angry men just because I got a dick I gotta yelp like yeah right but I
don't but she's also
like in tune with society where I don't know anything she's like everybody's
talking about this
place I'm like oh okay well let's go there then the only time I ever find a
place that people are
talking about is if I just like google good restaurants in the neighborhood and
I I fall
ass backwards into it that's what I do oh there you go yeah there it is that's
the one it's in the
village it was a nice night air you get some pasta and that looks like good
pasta it's a hell of an
italian joint a thick noodle love a thick noodle love it I got a angel hair
down here I'm struggling I got a penne
he's got a bow tie
but yeah fun night capped it off on the roof you know beautiful view the whole
city behind us a couple
more drinks couple friends of hers showed up and uh you know you get to bed at
four and you know you
know it's a bad hangover when you drink all the way into bed oh you know you
look to the side of the
the nightstand and there's a fucking half a cocktail and you're like oh I didn't
get any water in me I got
no no IV nothing I had a one-nighter with a girl once she brings the bottle of
wine into my bed
dumps it everywhere ah all over there and by the way she didn't even feel bad
about it she said uh
she goes I made a mistake nah I was like me too
but then you wake up to the bottle right on the nights and you're like oh that's
a bad that's an
ugly night bad night bad time there's a bottle on your nightstand you're like
who am I Bukowski
what the hell is going on here I had a oh here we go what's with the different
glasses
so for some reason we have one is a wall so we're going with one jeweled glass
and one regular glass
all right damn you guys can trade if you feel it's unfair I mean Mark what do
you think is there more in one
they're the same size the same booze all right fuck it cheers all right here we
go mint julep hey
yeah it's a little it's a little like uh variety on it I put I like to use a
little soda water as well
just to make it a little bubbly I like interesting especially on a hot summer
day like this like you
know now you can imagine you're like at the Kentucky Derby or on the porch down
south on the porch you
know like it has to be a porch right like on the on the terrace this is a porch
drink it is right yeah
you're just in the on the armchair like swinging yes rocking chair rather yes
you know with a little
what are you the toothpick hayseed hayseed in your mouth you know like you know
that's where that term
comes from somebody called me a hayseed my first week in New York and it stung
what what is that
because a hayseed is like a hick a redneck a bumpkin and I was walking around
doing the whole like
and I had this subway map and I was like and somebody goes move it hayseed I
was like Jesus
Christ I'm in New York baby that was actually Sam yeah yeah exactly I didn't
know him you fucking
hick you know what dude I uh that was one of my openers I did the keen race
track and everyone
dresses really well there so one of my I remember my opener when I whenever I
played Kentucky was a man
I was the only person here that didn't look like a villain in Django Unchained
great movie great movie Christoph Waltz that guy kills it kills he had a hit a
hell of a run I
haven't seen him in six years it was like two movies I mean I guess you're
right there I think
he's huge in his country I think he's in a Bond movie oh is he I could be wrong
give that a goop
great in Django it was cool to see him be a good guy because he was so fucking
evil in Inglourious
Bastards wasn't that his first like breakout role in Inglourious Bastards oh he's
in two Bond
movies oh wow there you go what's that wasn't that wasn't Glourious Bastards
his like breakout role
for America yeah it was already big I think apparently the story is horrible
bosses all right
oh wow oh he's in both of them okay I'm a fucking oh he's in French Dispatch he's
in a ton of shit
oh yeah he's cooking wow I'm I'm dumb as shit I am too I was like hey I haven't
seen him in six
years and he's been 10 movies damn but yeah apparently Tarantino is like I can't
figure out who's
gonna play this Nazi I can't figure it out blah blah blah and then he just
happened to come
across this guy's tape and he was like that's the guy that's it and he spoke
German uh German
Italian and English I mean it was it was a lock damn aren't you always blown
away by people who
can speak multiple languages it's other countries they're they're better than
us they are not all
of them there's some rough ones out there mine the old clit cutters but uh you
know most of them
they know way more I did a trip uh I did a gig with a bunch of uh British
comics and they were making
fun of me the whole time yeah they were like uh American you know because they'd
be like where is
uh Zaire you know and they're like Jesus Christ I don't know where Zaire is I'm
like I don't know
did you guys have a Zaire test who the fuck knows where Zaire is apparently it's
in the middle of Africa
but the geography is what really grossed them out about me yeah man this is
this is interesting this
drink not bad right it's not my it's not what I would never order one but it's
fun to try drinks
that I'm not it's not like what what alcohol is in it there's bourbon it's bourbon
yeah and a mint
julep I didn't even know that bourbon is always in my mint julep was always
with bourbon is that
always a mint julep always yeah it has to be bourbon they're traditionally
sweeter traditionally a little
sweeter I just know that you guys didn't aren't really sweet fans so I don't
like sweet drinks
I took it low on the but as you get lower it will get sweeter because for mint
juleps you don't use
like a simple syrup or anything you actually uh crush the mint into the sugar
so then as like
oh there's sugar in this yeah but it's like raw it's like raw sugar so as you
go down lower
it'll get a little sweeter as well yeah raw dog this is is this created new orleans
or am I gay
I want to say either I want to say Kentucky oh all right I know we got the Sazerac
from new
orleans the Sazerac is definitely new orleans yeah what's what's new york you
guys is the
manhattan from here yeah manhattan's got a new or what else what there's a few
different ones
there's a new york sour technically what's what's the new york very long lost
it's basically whiskey
sour with a red wine floater oh you're really weird really intense because most
time it'll be
like a malbec or something like a really dark smoky sweet sweet but then like
you have the like the
sour and whiskey taste as well yeah it looks really cool it's like pretty
delicious but it's an
acquired taste that's what i call you after a bomb like uh yeah he's a new york
sour
you would have one of those bombs the other night where i was like i need a
shower oh one of those
you're like oh you can't shake it you're in the shower going why the fuck did i
even think that'd be
funny what were you thinking the crowd yeah i had a couple it sucks when you
commit to like a
fucked up premise and then it doesn't hit i'm like i'll say something horrible
and then they
don't laugh and you're like well now you just think i'm a bad person exactly
and you can't dig out
you'll be like well what about uber huh and they're like nah we heard a joke
about mass shootings
i try segwaying the holocaust to taxi cabs yeah no i had one about uh about
abortion and it was i
went kind of hard with it and they were like no really the joke has worked i've
gotten the joke
to work but it's like with new shit when you're working out new stuff it's like
placements everything
man yeah if you place a joke where you're kind of a dick or saying something a
little fucked up
in th