Name: Ep 91: Tom Papa & Martinis
Uploaded: 2022-09-05T01:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 91: Tom Papa & Martinis' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 91: Tom Papa & Martinis' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-05. Transcript available.

Ep 91: Tom Papa & Martinis

hey hey here we are folks we might be drunk we're really doing it we got uh
cheesy bread
homemade sam's here and we're our guest tom pop everybody hurrah thanks for
having me fellas
is this is it are you a bread snob i know you eat a lot of bread yeah so you'll
tell us if this
sucks yeah and you made this from scratch holy shit you did good for you how
long you've been
baking bread off and on it's cheaper to buy it yeah is it and it's better and
what is in this
oh my oh wow two cheeses i'm off bread why good oh it's warm really good nice
job would you
anything with once sausage hits you're just like oh yeah what bread you just
can't you're
just you're just carrying sausage right good job would you say it if it wasn't
i would okay
i have no problem saying it when i saw it from afar i was like i don't know
that crust looks a little
pale oh but it's that kind of bread you nailed it and there's nothing people
love more on podcasts
than hearing chewing my whole podcast is about like eating with each other and
like hanging out and
anything crunchy the people i'm like that's what that's what the podcast is
right stop the goddamn
chewing yeah you wouldn't do that with porn all i heard was smacking and you
don't you you hear
chewing all your whole life yeah right with people you're chewing it's a big
deal great job nice work
what's you have other bread you have this is your go-to bread yeah do you have
like one bread that
you've mastered and this is it or do you fuck around with other breads
you can't go wrong
sausage so good oh my god very good yeah now how did you well done you fill
this market of
non-gay bread maker lover yeah that's pretty rare it is very rare but you did
if i was single it
would really be a thing women are very attracted it's kind of a fireman thing
like a guy who bakes
i've never seen a baking calendar yeah
you haven't been in my world for a while the fireman who eat bread it's a grosser
calendar
fireman with a sausage bread
so good all right well done you're right though like that you think fireman
chili like you do think
of the cooking oh that's true you you have a bit i love about how like everyone's
frantically
working out they don't eat bread and you're like you're three pounds lighter
and you're miserable no one will ever know yeah no one will ever know yeah i
was uh i was at
like a name drop i was at a dinner before a largo set for judd apatow's um uh
charity show
a largo and uh we're at dinner and he's going on vacation in like two days and
he really really
really wants the chicken parmesan he like really wants it but he's like but i
want to look good on
the boat i'm like judd you could have five chicken parmesans you no one's gonna
know yeah
you know it's not gonna in your head you feel swollen and fat and shitty but
you look for the
outside exactly the same and no one's looking at judd for hotness you know no
offense but that ship is
ship is sailed except for judd like in his mind i guess so i guess so yeah
former guest
former guest oh yeah he was on him we actually didn't drink amazing no we didn't
drink on that
episode because we had bert kreischer on the day before oh god and he nearly
killed us with his
drinking did he really yeah we drank so much on the app and then he's like let's
go to a bar we're
like dude we're fucking dying three hours he cried he he laughed he did
everything it was it was a lot
is he uh is he i guess he's our ron white right like he's yeah i guess so like
a so slip uh uh uh
so ron was like a slow sipping whiskey guy though or tequila guy bird is like a
throw them all down
party guy the way homer simpson would eat donuts that that's burnt with alcohol
you know yeah and and ron quit drinking i don't know if he saw that no i didn't
see so he's like
his his crown is gone now it's all burnt so it's all burnt i guess this is like
the wire season four
yeah it's crazy wow because i remember learning that it was legit like that ron
was legit drinking
like all through the sets oh yeah i was like oh man because that's like you
know dean martin like
faked it right you know like he started but then he was just like but then at
the end he was a real
alcoholic well then at the end we got really sad yeah yeah yeah they said frank
sinatra spilled more
than he drank that was the old joke right yeah stanhope's still hanging oh he's
still going i mean
what are we doing here beer today we're doing uh dirty martinis i'm assuming
that everyone is
a vodka guy here right i like vodka yes there we go all right i think of you as
like you're like an
old school drinker uh-huh because you i see you in the top hat sometimes at the
cellar there's always
a martini so when you said you were coming in i was like we got to get martini
yeah thank you very
much that's exactly what i drink yeah i love a nice martini if everyone likes
uh blue cheese olives
then it's a perfect time for it blue cheese olives yes absolutely bring it on
oh i am i need it we've done
78 podcast today so i need this drink i like uh i like it pretty dry do you
make them dry
well if it's dirty i don't usually even use driver oh this guy's good yeah that's
my thing like i think
it should be one or the other and there's like two centuries of like you know
really intense like
really you know knowledgeable bartenders and mixologists and then random
viewers who disagree
agree with me but i think it should be one or the other it should either be
like olive juice or brine
right or a dry vermouth right because otherwise they're just like contending
with each other and
fighting it's like get up your nose and it's just this like really weird taste
in the it's like an old
new york 80s thing to do both but uh oh really no like it's like a steakhouse
thing yeah i don't
you know you know you got to really like that vermouth taste i when i'm at home
i just rinse the
ice with the vermouth and dump it keep the ice and then just go all by it looks
so good rinse is a
good way to start out but um i personally just like just like olive juice and i
never like it shaken
unless i'm doing like just straight up like with nothing in it yeah because
otherwise if you have
olive juice or dry vermouth and you shake it it has like an effervescence and
just comes up into your
nose and bites you you really just want it like in your mouth and not in your
face that's what she said
tom just turned so quickly to mark you this is also you came on a good martini
app because the only
other app i think we did martinis was with uh chris de stefano and we did not
have beer juice so i'm
pretty sure i was drunk enough to stir them with my finger yeah that's where
the flavor is man a lot
of the old school bartenders don't tell you that that's where the flavor is my
dad used to get drunk
when i was a kid and he would he couldn't find his toothbrush and he would do
the did your dad ever
do the toothbrush finger oh yeah yeah that was a bad that was a bad child when
you come up when you
when you come up a little short and you got to uh and you got to fill the glass
like you're doing now
uh same ice is good right you don't have to dump in the ice is fine honestly
like there's not nobody's
been in there you know yeah it's all good yeah i also have to compliment you i
love the glasses because
i hate when you get the small martini glasses and it's dripping over the edge
and now i can't walk
through a room right if i get bumps the drink is compromised yeah this is the
right type of martini
come below the the rim my favorite is uh four martinis and many other drinks in
general is the
coupe in the coupe but then if you're doing a coupe then you gotta you gotta
leave the shaker with your
guest that's very true oh that's very true yeah um that is very true and like i
love when that
happens as well i mean you might as well leave the bottles they do that at uh
muso and frank's oh we
tried to go there last time we were now yeah so we are the three of us gotta go
cheers cheers the old
gang yes good to be back dude wow it's got a like a thickness to it that so
this is uh the brine from
the blue cheese olives it's a little it's like it's a little oilier a little
yeah i don't want to say
greasy but it's there uh but i like i love my martinis just filthy dirty oh
like if i'm an italian
restaurant i'm saying like make my martini like your pasta water like yeah i'm
really briny like the ocean
i want a dirty whore of a martini this is a real whoreish martini whoreish martini
no no i want i want
a dirty nun you know i want dirty on the out or rather clean on the outside
dirty on the inside so
there's no bite at all so like there's no that vodka sting no if you if you
stir a martini enough
there shouldn't be a sting until it gets warm it does leave a little thing on
your lips like you
have chapstick yeah it does it's nice that's what the bread is for though right
soak it up with
sausage bread you guys are really living you're like an old school you really
do feel like an
old school drinker to me you're like you're almost like an at a place in time
yeah i feel like we all
have a little of that right but like there's certain comics like a three maybe
mulaney definitely has it
that voice natterman yeah you do feel like you could have been a comic today or
in 1957 yeah i do feel
that way i do feel that way and that's why i'm starting to dress this way yeah
i'm starting to go like
with the like i want to be like the dad like i always think you have these
images of what you are
and i'm no i'm really the guy like at the barbecue when there's kids around
just like taking out some
money here you go don't don't tell your mother don't tell your mother you guys
doing all right
you're doing all right here you go here's a five for you here's a five for you
so i'm trying to uh
incorporate that and just kind of own it a little bit more it's definitely a
don draper on saturday
right yeah we're charlie sheen on two and a half men either way uh that's the
danger zone it's like
i don't know if i want to we pray sheen constantly on this pod we love sheen i
mean i'm glad to get
him on here i love sheen too but i didn't like that's like he he wore like the
socks with the
like the big white socks i don't know yeah that was horrible he was supposed to
be like the bad
boy and he had a stripe on each side like whoa he's wearing a bowling shirt and
shorts who's the bad
cbs what do you want him to do i know but give the guy a leather jacket or
something i want to lean
more towards rodney like in back to school yeah that kind of thing like the
best that's like that's
that's my role model rodney in back to school is is like a top five comic
performance for me it's
he's on the whole movie yeah yeah it's insane i mean every fucking line in the
beginning oh you're
impossible oh yeah and you're easy every thing they just said do stand up in
the movie yeah every line
is just serving to set him up yeah exactly that's how we just all picture the
world on some level of
comics and then like everything is to like so and then he just wrote that movie
yeah just walking in
inappropriately to every situation and then kinnison was in that one that's
right oh my god is the
teacher young kinnison yeah when they when they get in the bar fight i think of
that line
constantly drinking when he goes bring us a bring us a pitcher of beer every
seven minutes until
someone passes out then bring us one every 10. classic come on the king great
and then you start
to realize when you look at his style uh in dressing and all that stuff it's a
lot of golf clothes
yes it's a lot of uh like his his upgrade from this kind of a shirt is always a
cardigan with a wide
lapel right and and red and like red slacks yeah or like plaid plaid slacks
that's so true yeah it's
like golf obnoxious right like he's like the loud guy caddyshack that's what he
is yeah same thing
the barrette with a pom-pom thing on top for no reason but it works we were
watching uh caddyshack
point that everybody hey we were watching caddyshack in the h