Name: Ep 100: The Bachelor Party Part 1
Uploaded: 2022-11-07T02:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 100: The Bachelor Party Part 1' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 100: The Bachelor Party Part 1' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-07. Transcript available.

Ep 100: The Bachelor Party Part 1

Batchelor party let's do it we got some we got some surprise guests coming
today
Gilles fucked me yeah sit down let's talk it out come here are we on yeah we're
on baby jeez oh my
so yeah yeah get on the mic get the get on and put this on holy hell so so to
give a little background
I want to do I was mad I couldn't be at Norman's bachelor party at a wedding LA
so I want to do
a special podcast bachelor party and Shane Gillis blows the fucking surprise
today I think we covered
it up enough yeah but I wake up to Gillis texting me and Norman I had told Gillis
it was a surprise
he forgot and then he's texting me dude I'm so sorry I was like it's all right
so hopefully he still
shows up but uh should we start this off wow get some get some blown away get
our first guest out
here that's oh my god if you pull my parents out of here I'm gonna shit myself
Mr. and Mrs. Norman
ah geez this is crazy oh man I can't believe oh no hey how are you surprised
you again yeah you really did
hey what's shaking Fetty how the hell are you yeah what should he yeah right
there there's a microphone
what's going on well this is touching you said 230 I thought 230 I got Matt
said come at 230 oh really
yeah oh you you wanted to build up more surprises but you guys nailed it you
got the bud light the
chips the dildo this is everything we need the fake money the fake money is
gonna that's paying for
what's going on how the hell are you I'm all right I just uh I'm all right I've
been on the I was on the
phone with Sonos I was yelling at them the whole ride up here because the
system in the bar never
works properly you are a human yelp right just attacking any product I'll never
leave a bad review
all right if something I bought isn't working right I will get in your ass
about it man yeah this is
a combination of the best bachelor party guests but also a disgruntled PI
totally look at this I kind of I kind of got after it a little bit last night
uh are you hurting
no I'm not hurting but I would just was on my way in and I was like shit I didn't
eat anything yet
today and I didn't drink any water so I bought two waters in this because I was
like you know why
I mean I assume we're gonna have a few pops here today sure um but chips if you
want them
but they they made the problem with the Sonos speaker is it needs to be factory
reset because
there's something wrong with it and the mounts we bought for it which are the
mounts they sell
which are permanent mounts obstruct the button for you to do the reset oh damn
so I was on the phone
with a customer service rep going I don't understand why would you design it
this way and I had to be
like I know you didn't design it I'm sorry but this doesn't make any sense yeah
you do seem like
the type that screams a customer service and then feels really bad about it I
feel terrible about it
yeah yeah I was really just like at one point in the I'm an asshole one point
in the call I went
she she said something back to me that I had already said oh boy and I go
remember when I said
and then I and then I did say I go miss I'm sorry you can understand the
frustration this wasn't a
cheap thing to do and it's not working and it hasn't been working and she's
like no I get it
yeah well the airlines have this too where you you want to yell at the lady at
the desk but it's not
her fault it's not her fault no man do you want to yell at her that's why I
always say these businesses
need to hire a guy that you can just yell at like you fucking cum guzzling
piece of shit and he's
like I know I know just hire him you know those those rooms where you just
destroy shit yes there
should be a dude with like pads on and you could just fucking wail on him that's
exactly great idea
yeah nice a stuntman that's like a side gig for a stuntman right right yeah
there should be remember
that movie hostile where the people paid all the money to to kill people oh
yeah I never saw it but
I remember it Eli Roth Eli Roth the great Eli Roth there should be a bear Jew
bear Jew and just a
regular Jew too that's right but there should be a fake version of that there
should be a thing where
you can go into a room like you said there's a guy with a bunch of pads and you
can like hit him with
bats and things hurt him but it will give you the experience of mauling a man
yes you know and it'll let
you get some of that shit out of here it's just revealing that we all have deep-seated
anger all right
just to beat up a human yeah well who had that bit about should be illegal
because it'll probably make
you fuck less kids
should be legal you mean illegal sorry legal because the kids getting fucked in
the thing well that those
videos already exist you just you just replay old ones oh this is gonna get us
banned from youtube
just saying just bleep when this comes out it's a bit it's not a real no no I
know but I still think
youtube fucking stinks really I didn't know Eddie Ift was here
oh geez or he is gonna be furious by that comparison or as patrice called him
Eddie
my favorite kevin brendan thing ever ever ever was I was on this podcast and I
go
I go uh
oh we were talking about prince henry or whatever his name is the megan markle
guy
which one man drew andrew harry harry how they moved to canada yeah I'm a fan
and I go why would
they move to canada and uh and corinne fisher was on and she goes she goes well
probably because
you know they're pretty lax like kind of anything goes up there and kevin brendan
goes oh they even
let Eddie Ift in right and I started laughing and I go this is this is the part
that's my favorite
part I go I go you have a problem with Eddie Ift and he goes no
and I was just like the disgust from the first statement to the just like indifference
of the
second I was like there's something truly wrong with you yeah this is you're
just you just work
this way wow uh it was very funny that is amazing that's a good time Eddie Ift
is being being googled
right now relentlessly no one knows who that is oh boy we love you Eddie should
we get our second
surprise guest oh this one is a real bachelor party vibe hey I don't know how
this is gonna go
this could be interesting but uh geez this could be weird uh man how many
people you got in that
back room oh there's this is like fucking maury dude yeah people are coming out
bitch you don't know
me get a job let's see if this will and we have hopefully everyone comes to you
know comics are
flaky yeah I can't believe you got this many schedules aligned I mean we'll see
this is impressive
thank you this is I feel very uncomfortable Mark does not like uh love we'll
see if this works
this uh this dildo is very intimidating it's huge huge is that is that a real
dick you think it's
probably yeah the veins are very realistic the head is uh perfect this is like
it looks like a mag light
yeah I think it's Antonio Brown's you see that thing in the pool yeah he
whipped it out quite a
noodle the meme that was going around is he always knew how to expose a d ah
that's great that's great
how about Herschel Walker what'd he do well he's fucking like his kids he's
running for office and
his kids are his kids are like he beat the shit out of us he's a horrible dad
then he's anti-abortion
and there's a woman who came out saying here he he sent me uh he sent me a get
well card
and seven hundred dollars for an abortion the abortion only costs 575 that's
125 profit right
yeah and is it hallmark that's the question he did the right thing yeah I guess
he could have not
set a dime yeah I mean I'm not saying he did the best thing yeah sure but he
did
but then he ran with a platform anti-abortion so it is hypocritical yeah maybe
he had a change of
heart abortions can really get you out of a bind that's why I'm a miscarriage
fan ah have you
ever done either I've never I paid for two abortion really yeah one I perform
myself no um but yeah
I've I've paid for two I still charged
charged her
uh
two abortions are we here okay here we go our our second guest here is a
special guest he's saying
wait she's not here a couple minutes oh well gotta have one lady at this oh boy
I gotta tell
you I don't know who's showing up either I'm kind of excited I mean this is the
woman of the
abortion I paid for I gotta pretend this is my surprise party all right you're
still surprised the
abortion woman's not coming the miscarriage woman on the other hand is showing
up unexpectedly have
you ever gotten to an abortion jam never never me neither I I can't believe I've
never had a
pregnancy scare yet well I always wear condoms ah I just I mean look I've had a
couple slip-ups
in my life but you know for the most part yeah I'm I was I'm an accident I don't
it terrifies me
you're an accident yeah I wasn't playing I didn't know that yeah me too that's
the adoption but
right oh I love it we uh start off a little strong uh-oh with the classic we'll
give it to Norman first
no no what is this oh okay bachelor boy goblet form what is that right there
that's a money gun
oh shit that's fucking this is fucking this is by the way don't thank me thank
Matt Peters our producer
for going all out because as usual I went to a uh T-Pain was at one of my
comedy shows when
once not even as a fan just he just came to see the show because he likes
comedy but here's another guest
oh Jesus Christ hey oh my god look who it is it's on oh you got a wireless Sean
Patton what's up guys
hey what's shaking what's up buddy what hi Joe how are you can we get Sean
around as well wait around
to what paper plans it's our signature drink how you doing happy good what I
missed the uh the events
that's why we told you to come in man the bachelor party yeah you're here hell
of a time down there
I know I heard I heard about I'm actually jealous of the uh you want to sit
over here yeah get in get
in frame you're right you sound sick no no no I'm just I just got COVID it's
fine oh nice
what was your reasoning for not going to the bachelor you had some some uh $400
gig you
couldn't pass up pretty much yeah pretty much I had uh you know uh it was
cheers cheers cheers
you'll be on this soon bodega cat paper plane oh yeah bodegacatwhiskey.com
folks for the people
don't know Patton's officiating the wedding yeah fun fact oh shit really yeah
yeah I got uh I've
officiated a couple really I mean uh you know they've none of them have stayed
together so that's why
Mark hired you yeah yeah right and in my defense all the ones he did were in
blackface yeah
hey I do with a couple requests you know it was Trudeau that's great though
that you're doing the
wedding yeah yeah I mean it's you know it is what it is it's fun I've actually
I did um I think
everyone it is what it is what it is is that the enthusiasm you want to hear
for your special day
because sometimes no sometimes like I've done four and sometimes you do them
and they're like just say
whatever you want and you get out there and you say dumb shit it's like it
doesn't matter this is the
this is their desire yeah you know but then sometimes they're like oh no here's
a fucking
script I was at Rachel Feinstein's wedding yeah Tom Papa officiated yeah dude
he crushed it I mean
I was like to the point where I was like if somebody ever asked me to do it
again I think I might pass
because I would that would be in my head look now I did Tom this guy would did
so good it was so good
now I did he crush it but then Colin Quinn went on after him and zinged him and
they start shitting
on each other back and forth and it's killing oh that's amazing it was epic
yeah that's that wait
was Colin in the wedding no he just did a little speech yeah that was just we
that was weird right
yeah when are you are we gonna do speeches of yours no like not if you want to
no like family
coming up and being like I want to read proverbs I actually asked my family and
they were like oh
we're good we're good really yeah that's always the worst part of the wedding
yeah I'm probably
better off when some the one like the you know the bride's d