Name: Ep 102: Matteo Lane - Gobble Gobble
Uploaded: 2022-11-21T02:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 102: Matteo Lane - Gobble Gobble' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 102: Matteo Lane - Gobble Gobble' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-21. Transcript available.

Ep 102: Matteo Lane - Gobble Gobble

hey hey hey happy thanksgiving ah we did different ones ah gobble gobble shit
here we are gobble
gobble's a peeve already with a peeve i got a peeve already i don't like gobble
gobble okay
what are you saying on gobble gobble um i to be honest i don't think i've heard
anyone use it so
freely until right now i should have seen my ex um all right well you guys can
both get stuffed
i have yesterday i think he wanted to yeah yeah well we're joined by one of our
good buddies a comic
we love give it up mateo lane happy thanksgiving the perfect thanksgiving yes
yes yes thank you
not related to nathan no but um someone said to me at a restaurant the other
week this waiter
comes like i'm such a huge fan of your work i love you nathan lane and i said
you know what
i said that's wrong but honestly it's right yeah and then he said then he gave
me a discount he was
like but sorry for messing up your name it's the nathan lane discount i was
like okay work there you
go i love nathan lane i'll take nathan lane he's any legend yeah yeah the bird
cage is one of the
best movies of all huge time take that bros all right just kidding well how
about uh dude guys and
dolls he's isn't he nathan detroit and guys and dolls i know he's in the
producers he's in guys and
dolls as well guys and dolls from like the 50s with yeah they did a redo with nathan
lane oh they
did yeah guys and dolls because he's got that very i can see what's happening
yes i haven't got a clue
wow now i'm gay that's all it takes let's switch seats i want some of that all
right
i want some of that voice it won't help your career apparently all right we'll
talk about that later
sorry that was off mic i know if i was straight i would have already won an oscar
really i'm teasing speaking of twinks can you hand me a twinkie yeah thank you
these are not
shaped like twink wait wait are those are they pumpkin spice twinkies i don't
know hey by the
way dan soda we tried these for you they hated them i thought it was decent no
i like this i like
kill i like the normal sweet tarts these are awful and nerd ropes are great so
don't try and come for
nerd road road and be like sweet tart robes grow up are these pumpkin twinkies
no i'll tell you right
now but they don't look like it i don't know i don't like twinkies i did i did
try the pumpkin
oreo and it was very good oreo's getting cocky oreo's everywhere it's like oreo's
really what are
they doing i saw mint oreo like the pop heads oreos are now like the pop heads
of flavor it's just
like do you know what i'm talking about those like pop heads with like every
character is like one of
those pop head action figures am i the only nerd here okay sorry this reference
is not oh i know
what you're talking about it's very asian it's like a japanese thing yes yes
yes it almost looks
like a hello kitty but it's like it could be anything like x-men or like those
are cute they are
very cute yeah i've had two fans make me them and i'm very easy to do because i'm
just freddie mercury's
head and storm's body from the x-men remember we did like a roast battle thing
it never aired it was
on crashing and why didn't they air that they didn't air it no and i'm still
credited for crashing i was
like they took me and sam out by the way they said uh they said we had to cut
you for time i'm like
it's hbo there's no commercials that's a great point and then uh so one of my
lines of matea was you
look like you got freddie mercury poisoning this is when you were skinnier
though i know before you
were jack so that i had all my muscle now you're shredded that's a great joke
and you ran those
by me and i was like these are great you're gonna kill it i forget what my
jokes were you had some
good ones you had one about like i'm not a good roaster you were good it was
funny you had something
on me about like it was something like uh sam loves basketball and you can tell
because uh he's tall
his career is gonna end in his 30s and he's never met his father that's pretty
good that was a good
one that's a great joke i think i had one of you was like mateo uh you know he
what was it is uh
i'm very easy from brooklyn but he spends all his time in queens that was one
that's a good one i had fun i like i love roast i i but i'm bad at i'm easy to
roast and i'm bad at
roast it was on tv so i was like i'll tell you because you were nervous i
remember before and i was
like i'll tell you all my jokes about you i don't know nothing's mean right i
had a roast that
i wrote because they asked us to write roasts for pete homes and so my my roast
that they said
which i still think was funny and i love pete i'm friends with them but i said
um pete why does
your face look like the third version of the mrs doubtfire mask i thought that
was kind of funny
i had one they used on him i think i gave it to jamie lee where it was like uh
you know pete's a born
again christian pete uh jesus isn't coming back and either is your wife they
both got nailed and are in a
better place that was mine yeah man you gotta keep that in your back pocket
just reuse it yeah for
anyone yeah that twinkies are fucking good i haven't had one forever i wonder
why they can't have a
twinkie i'll try it i haven't had a twinkie in so long what are these we're
drinking by the way yeah
so today we're drinking uh kind of like the trendiest cocktail in the last
month and a half or so
spagliato with a splash of prosecco negroni spagliato exactly do you guys know
what that was
famous that was going around no oh so the girl in game of thrones the new game
of thrones
how to drag him she meant to say negroni uh spagliato which already has prosecco
in it so
it's for some reason it took off online she was like i my favorite drink is a
negroni with prosecco
spagliato like she just said it wrong and that was everywhere like it just blew
up the internet and
like every bar has them people because people are asking because of this
actress yeah
this is good it is a pumpkin i don't i don't think it is it is i don't like twinkies
what
these like went through the holocaust can't they like last uh 10 million years
they don't go bad
cockroaches and twinkies share that's how you know it's not good quality i know
i know it's just
it's just a couch cushion and i was trying to be on my diet and here i am
sitting in front of a bunch
of i was eight like i ate everything in italy last week no i was i did a lot i
was smoking cigarettes
drinking you smoke cigarettes only in italy i'm one of those i'm one of those
white women it's like
it's disgusting and then the second you get there i'm like i'll have a
cigarette
i was vaping like a motherfucker the other night because i'm out with my agent
gab and she just
takes a vape out in the bar and i'm just like i guess i'm just i'm just you're
drunk so you're
just dragging it all night but is it a nicotine is it a hookah oh okay but it
was like some never
satisfying of cigarettes no no no cigarettes will hit you yeah yeah it's old
did you guys ever smoke
i've had a few in my day drinking smoke you know never yeah never i was never
like i need a cigarette
sober i'll do anything when i'm drunk
and we're neighbors oh that's right that's right don't pick up if i call don't
pick up getting
married oh my god you got married oh yeah thank you unless you got cold feet
yeah well we might die
down in new orleans you think so well we're gonna go hard i'm i'm assuming i'm
getting there a night
early good and i think you're flying out the next morning oh it's gonna be
rough that's gonna be real
yeah but that's gonna suck i'm gonna try to get a later flight but i'm going i'm
going straight to
south carolina i don't have a lot of options oh that's true but it's not too
far i know but the
options suck yeah you don't want to drive the six hours either i don't want to
drive ever no me neither
you're so new york i love you you're such a new yorker i can't because it's
someone from chicago
it's kind of fascinating and exotic in a way to meet someone growing up in manhattan
just i agree you have public transit yes but nothing you were like 13 getting
on like the four
five six that's crazy to me younger than that i think oh yeah yeah that is why
this is disgusting
too pumpkin so we got to try pumpkin soda no crack it you need an opener oh i
already got gary veder
same size that's rough with the fixings hold on get y'all y'all get your fixings
where did you find this
shit clan rally why pumpkin is overrated it's i'm gonna get sick you guys what
is this pumpkin so
pumpkin pie by lester's spices it comes out once a year that's right that is
disgusting that's not
good you see these there's that place in uh cleveland right by hilarities it
sells like 500 of those
different flavored things they have like vomit flavored uh like the harry potter
beans remember like the
beans that had all those flavors the other boy you are a nerd i am i have no
idea i wasn't a big harry
potter fan but i mean i i i just tried watching lord of the rings the new lord
of the rings because
i'm watching house of the dragon and lord of the rings and lord of the rings
was really terribly
written i never watched it they spent a billion dollars on this show and it was
a flop really yeah
it was i now like it was the new lord of the ring it was like amazon did a tv
series and they
it just was terribly pasted you know really mark you like it give it a little
kick that's your spangliano
but house of power was great or house of dragon oh is it good i loved it i'm
very much i never
watched game of thrones oh it's fun it's good you know what you're on the road
a lot you should start
watching it i might start but you know the problem was i really started getting
pushed to watch it the
last season and every week they were like you gotta watch it and then after
every episode came out
they're like it's the biggest piece of shit i've ever seen it got way worse
towards the end just
the last few no i heard it's great but if you're like we're all i don't know if
anyone travels more
than us three so it's like if you're on a plane just watch it because it makes
the flights fly by
you know what i you know when i was just watching again that like i'd never
finished so i started
from the beginning and i started watching again is uh atlanta it's really good
i never watched it
it's great it's such a good show right right donald glover's fucking good he's
great yeah he's great
it's it's like rap it's like black louis sing yeah yes but about music and not
you know comedy
but it's like that type where it's like one episode could just be like anything
yeah i just
started watching the office again oh still good i love the office i got into it
during the pandemic
yeah and you never watched it before no wildly offensive when you watch it you're
like whoa
that was a retard joke or that was a gay joke that was a black joke like they
went for it early
seasons and it was nbc the episode where the oscar was gay and then michael was
like kissing him
i mean even like it's so even as a gay guy i was like oh this is so painful to
watch it's so
michael is suck but he's like because george costanza i'm obsessed with seinfeld
but george
gives me agita i get so anxious watching george and but for some reason michael
doesn't in the
office it doesn't give me the same kind of well it's so over the top you know
well i think the
problem with george is you know that larry david really did a lot of this
whereas with
with michael you're like well this is an insane that's how they get away with
or at least got away
with that type of behavior where they're like well this is clearly an imbecile
right right but that's
comedy you should be allowed to make characters like that i do think it's
harder to make even like an
anti-hero like you couldn't make eastbound and down now you don't think no way
no one would make that
shit well it's the same with all in the family you got a racist he's the center
of the whole show and
people are like you can't have that but like he was