Name: Ep 109: Egg Nog
Uploaded: 2023-01-09T02:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 109: Egg Nog' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 109: Egg Nog' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-09. Transcript available.

Ep 109: Egg Nog

all right let's rock you ready oh yeah where the hell's this beard you where is
he hey folks here
we are we might be drunk we're back it's the holiday season oh wait when does
this come out
in march jan early january oh okay we could do something we could do some
resolutions hey i like
it now when do you have the new year cut off your happy new year i think early
on i think you get the
first week or so yeah and then after that it's like what are we doing okay it's
a new year it's a new
year we got it got some eggnog i can't think i can't think of eggnog without
david tell's elf cum
bit you can't look at eggnog without thinking it's elf cum because of dave sign
of a good bit when
you can't not think of it during when you're just hanging out i said it before
todd berry anytime he
sees a guy with a neck tattoo he forgot to not do that let me smile i got a
really good nose i just
put in my coffee uh shit it's been open before he's like a toucan this guy's a
bloodhound it's got
so much sugar it's probably fine yeah that's what they said about ralphie may
all right that's the
last ralphie major sour okay mmm tastes good in the coffee here i'm the eggnog
expert so do you load that
with booze also you put booze in that or has it come loaded no no poor little
might get you more booze
now beer juice running late so we're starting with some eggnog that's
perfection need i need more uh
eggnog in my life oh yeah i mean it's like why why only once i guess a once a
year is good for eggnog
it would be weird to have it in july yeah you see a dude in july with eggnog
you're like it's a little
real rich milk was a bad choice yeah i have i just bought a quart i've already
finished it but it's crazy to think
like that size of eggnog is in my body now drinking throughout the week bodega
cat bodega cat a little
bc the morning started right christ whoo before cock uh so i'm watching madman
i'm re-watching it
oh best show so good and uh that's why you're in a drinking mood this yeah
maybe you're right
but there's that one scene i don't want to give too much away but that the
alcoholic guy who pisses
pants oh freddie rubson yes freddie the whole show i didn't realize he's just
pouring screwdrivers
and shit like you know the one guy was breakfast huh but i didn't catch it
until seeing it again now
that i know he whizzes himself one of my favorite scenes and i don't know if we
ever pulled it we
might have played it on the show but the scene where pete tries to fuck over
spoiler tries to
fuck over don yeah by being like you know this man is a a deserter at best you
know oh yeah and and
and burt cooper just looks at him and we're just like who cares yeah he goes
this country was founded
with men with much worse records yes and he goes and even if what you say is
true it's in the company's
best interest to forget about this yeah it's such a great fucking moment great
moment now this is a
real alcoholic move my dad does the old oh yeah spinnock did he ever do it to
you
oh
a little subway handrail on that one yikes
this is good oh yeah it's actually it is hitting the spot
is it normal is an eggnog usually rum or whiskey or does it not really matter
it started with rum
that was the original but this works now it's rye yeah rye like rye better yeah
so i got the pete here i'm not sure this is the one he insults peggy and then
don puts him in his
place no no no no it's uh put in burt cooper i mean i basically just said the
scene i don't know
if we need to do it you know what you guys gotta see someone showed me this the
other day you ever
see mark mcgrath from sugar ray snap on some fucking kid no it's one of the
funniest clips
i hope i'm not building it up too much this guy is out of his mind
is this the one i don't know let's see sugar gay yeah he calls him sugar gay
oh i could stood his own there no it keeps going
oh man you can't you can't all right cool
you beat the fuck out of that card right there
i've never seen this
i took your fucking face
it's probably 2004 i don't know it's a different time
that's all it took to set him off
yeah well he's heard it before
imagine like this guy like when he discovers twitter
it keeps going oh it does yeah look how long that is
oh yeah
it's almost like he's angry at himself
he's like this is like insults yeah you'll never make it in this business
he's like why did we rhyme our name with gay
yeah it was a layup
wow wasn't he the host of extra
yeah yeah he left touring for that shit
wow
he probably could have made bank on the road
oh yeah and he's a hunk of a guy
oh yeah they had a couple good songs
you're all right
i just want to fly
i think he just wants to fight
like who's that for who's he doing that for
go to the end because it gets crazy
oh you're right look at this
i just want to fly off the handle
this guy right here is almost homeless
over here
over here
right here
this guy needs to go to the bills
this guy
show me it up
present right
look at his little
not just right
how fucked you in here
wow
how fucked you in the ass
this kid's got a poster
he wanted a signature
what a 180 this kid had
what did he say
he goes to nothing but my little fart
watch the language
it's not exactly roast battle
he's taking pictures too
that's the most insulting
this guy's badass
you got some new fans over here
mark
i love sugar bread now
see this
i'm gonna go buy me a sugar bread
and see you now
wow
what a fine
what a fine
some mark mcgrath
snapping
he's just he's probably just a fan
yeah
i know
he thought he was being fun
he thought he was like a playful roast
yo
beer jew in the house
uh-oh he's gotta take a shit
oh here he goes
if i snapped on every fan who called me gay
i would be
i'd be a busy guy
he'd be an mma fighter
yeah
yeah exactly
mm gay
man
i went out
i got fucking
i got kind of house last night
i'm hurting
i admittedly i text
uh peter's and norman this morning
and i was like
how do you guys feel about an ivy app
while we drink
just to get me back on my feet
but i hit the gym
i sucked it up
i feel all right
but uh
this will help
this will help
but
i did a benefit last night
the uh
the ally coalition
uh
the singer jack antonoff
puts it on
it was at screwball
it was a big thing
it was fun
wow
he's a huge comedy guy right
yeah he was really cool
he's really talented man
he's a really talented guy
but
that's a big room
yeah it was big
it was a cool show
burbiglia was on it
nice
jackie novak
oh yeah
i know jackie
and some musicians
i'm like with
i didn't
i don't know anything
about modern music
so i didn't
my friend john weisberg
is with me
and he's like
that's phoebe bridgers
and i was like
i don't know
is that the flea bag
no that's what i thought
for a second
no it's a singer
it's a singer
and then he's like
and then she went out
got like the hugest ovation
i'm like
i'm out of touch
and she was amazing
they might not know
who we are either
yeah but they're way bigger
than we are
that's true
she's like a huge star
apparently
i mean
uh
yeah
and burn and bridgers
all right
and then we yeah
we got sauced
it was a pizza guy
from razza
a jersey city place
unreal
and then we uh
it was one of the things
where we kept drinking
through the night
so we ended up
at a bar
in the uh
all i remember
is we ended up
at a bar
in the west village
wrecked
saw jared freed there
that's hilarious
and then uh
some people
recognized me
at the bar
so i'm just getting
wasted with these people
and i all i remember
them being like
where were you and i said
i did a benefit
and i was so drunk
i was like
what was it for
and i was like
teenage abortion
it was for a teenager boy
and then we started
singing the hanukkah song
and we walked them
hey
because we kept
singing the hanukkah
we kept going
oj simpson
that was great
not a jew
paul newman
wrecked
half
yeah
cody hans have jewish
paul newman's have two
there it is
put them together
with a fine looking jew
that was a
that
the great song
song changed the game
it's
i'll put it up against
any christmas song
easy
it's all we have
easy there
it's the handler
what uh
beard you
where you been man
uh
i've been around
they just moved
yeah
figuring things out
we started without you
yeah i'm sorry about that
i mean
uh
what are you in queens
upper east side
ah
sorry
sorry
i heard
every
upper east side's got
every fucking train now
yeah
they got the queue up there now
and uh
de niro just got robbed up there
i saw that
yeah
that's the story
i didn't hear it
worst thing to happen to him
since little fuckers 2
oh
and the comedian
oh man
that was rough
we were in that
oh yeah
our headshots
we're in it
yeah
someone said that to me
and they're like
you're in a movie
i'm like what
i wasn't as
i've been that surprised
to have a headshot
since kennedy
alright
i couldn't get it out
the joke works though
alright
i was floundering
no but uh
these are already hitting us
no we uh
that's crazy
he got robbed
yeah
wasn't it by a
extra in one of his movies
or something
no it was by a lady
who's a serial robber
and she
they caught her under the tree
literally came downstairs
she's under the tree
and the cops ran in
damn
if he's got kids
i gotta be like
santa's a woman
no because women just take
yeah
she's 30 years old
and uh
she had a string of robberies
damn
mm-hmm
it's weird
i know
it's kind of like
i mean bad santa's
one of my favorite
holidays
oh great movie
great comedy
there she is
shanice
30
so she robbed his house
or robbed him
under the tree
she knew
but he was home for it
he was home
did she know
it was de niro's place
i don't think so
imagine being a robber
and de niro walks out
yeah
that's gotta feel
pretty rough
robbing me
do you think that's
like as a robber
do you think that's like
kind of cool
or are you like
oh shit i love
i love casino
yeah
good question
like how do you feel
do you think
i would have gone for the oscars
fuck that
fuck the uh
the presents
get the gold
yeah once you see an academy award
in there you're like
oh shit
this might be a news story
i know but you're like
is this polanski
is this uh
harvey
it could be anybody
it's definitely not polanski
oh yeah he's overseas
he ain't here
where did he go
spain
like 20 years
he'll be like
we should stop raping
right
hey right
that's really where you get
you really can just get
or like where switzerland
is another one
where do you live
i guess
oh yeah
you just go to europe
it used to be mexico
and i was good
it was like
go to mexico
yeah
i feel like that's over
yeah
i mean louis said
in his new special
he goes
so i've been in france
for the last two years
or whatever
for obvious reasons
so i guess that's where
he went as well
oh yeah
i guess that's the spot
me too riviera
the french really uh
they made a statement
the women made a statement
not me
that was their whole thing
instead of me too
they did not me
they did not me
which is like
we gotta
we should take a road trip
when the french president
mitterrand died
his widow sat next to his mistress
at the funeral
they sat side by side
it was like
this is what we do
yeah
damn
yeah we both have
claim to this guy's life
carmela never would have sat
next to a guma
you got that right
never
no they're more
i mean dude
how about macron
his wife is like
was his teacher
that's like a porno
what
his wife with his fucking teacher
like in college
i think so
yeah she's like
at least 20 years older than him
wow
she looks so
held it together
yeah
good looking lady
but i mean she is
she was his teacher
uh oh
she's got teacher vibes
yeah
mmm
whoa
whoa
yeah
i mean he's definitely younger
women love when a guy's dating an older lady
or married
where they're like
oh that's so sweet
and you're like
shut up
just because it makes you feel better
it's better
but that's how it goes
this is
this is hidden dude
ah
the problem is
you can drink 17 of these
then you don't shit for a month
yeah
all the milk and cream
mmm
eggnog and rye
oh yeah
oh yeah
yeah this is definitely
uh
it's a
it's a festive drink
yeah
it's a time of year
is there anything else
i guess like warm spiced rum
is really