Name: Ep 110: Colin Quinn & Joe's Pizza
Uploaded: 2023-01-16T02:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 110: Colin Quinn & Joe's Pizza' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 110: Colin Quinn & Joe's Pizza' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-16. Transcript available.

Ep 110: Colin Quinn & Joe's Pizza

get mark on get mark on i think i think this works
yeah absolutely i'll be back i'll try to be very passive aggressive in the
beginning just to stress
him out i think we should say all this shit this was an embarrassment yeah and
they and i hate
fucking podcast as they know i know it's so let's save that all i'm coming up
and i was like you know
we should do next week alex he's like no no no tomorrow and i'm like mark then
when i get here
matt's going well mark's coming from south africa i was like why is this is
this is this filming
right now okay we're using all of this why are we doing today mark's coming
back from fucking
south africa i said next week i ran into sam in the street first of all i
thought it was on
university place which is where a guy like you should be doing a podcast yeah
not in the middle
of the fucking i saw you on the street the other day trying to get rid of your
goddamn heritage
but we're stuck here in garmento you know the garmento center and uh
never heard anyone say garmento it's a garment district isn't it
but they used to call them garmentos
i've never heard that you ever heard that phrase garmentos no i'm really about
to be gone from new york
there was a famous thing in the 70s all the jewish
eat lunch in 20 minutes all these guys bill bill shaft you know bill shaft the
comic yeah yeah he used
to do a routine about garmentos at lunch which was one of the funniest bits of
all time he goes this is
how different today's way the bit was here's every garmento at lunch a guy from
westchester ordering at his
favorite restaurant uh sweetheart cookie cookie no not him me i was next not
him bring me toast bring
me it was if it's burnt i'm not gonna if it's undercooked you know what
actually bring me the
order and then i'll tell you what's wrong with it then you tell the chef tell
the cook it's for mr
fine and he's just this great character a little character bit yeah i know but
anyway comment a little bit like
remember bobby collins at the cellar every he always calls he doesn't know
anyone's name
so he calls all the guys handsome and all the women gorgeous yes hey you
handsome i'm like well i guess
i guess i put myself together today someone else has done handsome how are you
he's like a homeless guy hey handsome
this whole neighborhood was good it's still a little bit of it all garment
center guys
that you know and it was mob run of course the mob because they had the trucks
so the trucks don't
move they gotta go to chinatown to the sweatshops and then out to you know
whatever gimbals or whatever
stores were you know marshals out in long island and jersey so they really had
a stranglehold on this
whole area those two gambinos the gambino family and then the guys that ran it
i worked at a restaurant
with these the guys that owned this particular business in gambino i think joe
gambino and
tom again they were the owners they'd come in like once a month they're like
the owners are coming
today and like real gentlemen like you wouldn't say their name but but they
come in you could not
see two guys less mob like they were just these tall thin like patrician
looking guys and they were
like the like the campaign you know half the guys there were like crazier than
them you know were they
polite no they didn't talk to me they were kind of dicks actually but i say
that now of
course they're dead there's a lot of you know what they had a lot on their mind
yeah they're just like
by the way norman is running late that's why right now he will be here but mark
uh i didn't even know
it was going to be an issue that i he i woke up today with a text from mark
saying uh my flight's
delayed i'm like delayed you were supposed to get in a day ago so mark's coming
in from south africa from
south africa everybody we scheduled this even if there wasn't a delay why would
you and i blame you
and matt who i just met and mark norman to schedule a thing a time sensitive
thing on a day
somebody's coming back from south africa that's not intelligent i blame mark
norman because i didn't
know that this was even an issue and he was so excited you were i'll be like i'll
be like norm
mcdonald you didn't know south africa was an issue you know you believe in that's
what norm would do
you'd be like no no i didn't mean like that you're a racist you believe south
africa no no i didn't mean
like that he uh no he just texted me this morning you know i'm delayed i'm like
what the are you and of
course it's on the news he's it's pete buddige is like we're working on it i'm
like i know this is
our pot this up our podcast yes booty judge doesn't understand that even though
it's a computer failure
has nothing to do with him we're all going to blame him yeah this is his legacy
unless he because
he looks like he's powered by a computer he looks like a robot he does he was
built in a lab he was
yeah he was built by zolinski no evidence of a cyber attack but also won't rule
it out
yeah oh that's how everybody would they admit if it was a cyber attack i know
it makes us look like
pussies i know the airlines suck and also mark flew united you never fly united
that's amateur hour
you never go full united no no well let's get mark on the phone and just let me
get him on the phone
real quick all right let's do it let me call him he's gonna he's gonna be
furious right now
well he's he he's never faced the fury i'm gonna have uh oh i'm excited for
this let's see what we got mark
i'm gonna should we pretend to tell him he's on a podcast or what's up to you
it's way too casual
colin's pissed dude yeah you know what this is the final nail of the coffin
jerry was right about you you're unprofessional wow
he said jerry was right about you you're not professional
well i'll be he's bad cop i'm good cop because i do i do feel bad that you 24
hour delay is insane
a 24 hour delay travel day 16 hour flight coach
it's almost divorce territory here she's furious i left her at the airport she's
in the baggage you
you know what that was my advice and colin said that i was crazy i was about to
float that you should
leave oh my god your wife at the airport on your honeymoon oh my god i did it
do you know how much
is she's gonna cost you yeah you're in the are you in the dog house
a little but uh she'll be fine later later later in 2028
you uh you left your wife at the honeymoon she's gonna fit she'll forgive you
when your first kid
graduates college that's my prediction well what kind of agent puts you through
dc i would have been
home at eight eight your agent books your flights uh manager yeah man yeah you
gotta you
gotta not go through dc i never looked at it until we got to the airport i was
like why are we in dc i
i never looked at the itinerary this whole plan is terrible you know what i'll
do a bodega cat
and uh solidarity pour into my coffee for you thank you and i'll be there in 20
minutes if you can hang
out we're hanging man we're hanging tell him to fucking we don't believe 20.
yeah we don't believe
20 but but i'll be here tell him to hit every hit the gas no hit the gas i'll
get there we'll talk
about your gay italian movies he said we're going to talk about your gay italian
movies we want
colin quinn movie racks this episode all right oh yeah and uh yeah dude and i
got tickets to the
show on the 23rd i can't wait is that monday because i'm going the same night i
believe it is
it's opening night all right yeah opening night i'll be there all right by the
way colin quinn's new
show small talk at the at the cherry lane theater no lucille lottel lucille it's
close if you go to
the cherry lane it's only two blocks walk away so you won't be you'll be able
to i'll figure it out
yeah great theater beautiful old west village theater uh all right i'll be
there uh opening
night i can't wait i've seen bits and pieces and it's already it's all coming
together it's all
coming together best hour yet that's unfortunately was produced by united but
uh oh all right
i wouldn't pull that yet uh mark collins he's not having it today having what
they're both in bad moods i'm i'm gonna have to keep the good energy you really
screwed us
you're in pajamas i love it i can't believe oh god yeah i'm sorry buddy bad
travel day
i hope i get my bags back there's a lot of drugs in there all right your wife's
gonna burn your
clothes when she gets her bags back this is the beginning this is i i'm look
just don't make the
next wedding uh destination and i'll be there come on all right it's a date all
right thank you i'll see
you soon to the next one in white plains white plains new york on 9 11 get a
discount
like gary veder he got married on 9 11 so we got the discount yeah oh my god
look i'm gonna get married to terrorism we'll see you soon all right
all right i'll see you mark uh mark's mark's not uh good over the phone yeah he's
not he doesn't
he's not a phone guy he only called me one mark has only called me on the phone
maybe twice which is
crazy in all the years of friendship he's a texter he doesn't like to be tied
down it seems like he
seems like that kind of guy that made him uncomfortable even and i noticed uh
he called
me once if i get a phone call from mark i know something horrible just happened
right the other
time he called me i don't even know if i should tell this story but i kind of
have to now
charade small choked him out after a set at the cellar oh yeah that's old news
yeah all right
i don't know if it's podcast news is it positive 12 year old news yeah well and
he called you well
yeah but he's gonna call he's a text guy and he was like what do i do about
charade and i was like
fix it i don't know keep the beef going for 12 years that's a good idea
well he likes to text nothing wrong with that unless you want to do a podcast
that is probably
something wrong with that he's great on on mics he's bad on phones i don't know
what that is but
shouldn't dan be doing that the hell are you doing i mean i was just going to
pour some of my coffee
little bodega cat whiskey i forgot all about that yeah it's our whiskey man i
think it's kind of a
cool name it is kind of yeah yeah i appreciate i don't know i don't want to
give it up but i will give
it up how do you feel how do you feel about all the 7-elevens in the city that
oh it makes me sick
yeah but it's so i'm so used to this it started in 94. in 94 i came back to new
york i was in l.a for a
couple of years i moved back to new york and i was on coney island avenue which
is really the heart of
brooklyn you know and especially back then this is almost 30 years ago and
there was a domino's pizza
and i was like it's over i know i get mad when i see domino's in new york this
1994. wow in the heart
of brooklyn i mean like coney island avenue is deep in you know yeah yeah when
that when that one right
around the corner from stand up new york went down i think it was like a marshall's
now yeah that was
fucking brutal that was a good pizza that was a good pizza i agree with you
pizza new york it was an
underrated pizza well even like mediocre new york pizza is better than fucking
domino's um yeah but
domino's is terrible it's no i feel like when new when new york pizza sucks it's
bad yeah there's a million
places bad pizzas this neighborhood right here are some of the worst pizza in
in the world well not
not all of them no joe's is great but i'm saying the dollar slices around the
corner terrible they're
terrible it's just all salt and crap you're against the beer jew i'm horrible i
work around here and
those are the only places open when i get out of work so it's just it's awful
just like cardboard well
i'll tell you what's good but it's on 9th avenue and 53rd so it's a little 51st
what's it called
it's been there for 100 years that's a good slice but you're not going to work
all the way up there
um what are your go-to slices in the city besides shows i don't know i mean ben's
isn't bad ben's
the grammar is good ben's is it's killed by association it's too close
geography killed ben's
f