Name: Ep 116: Bartender Search Pt1
Uploaded: 2023-02-27T02:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 116: Bartender Search Pt1' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 116: Bartender Search Pt1' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-27. Transcript available.

Ep 116: Bartender Search Pt1

we might be drunk here we are we're back we're doing it beard you what are you
doing here i'm
on the other side of the bar for once weird yeah you know it's a little strange
seeing my ugly mug
in front of the fight in front of the camera this time and not just my ass
while i'm delivering
drinks yeah love your ass though i've always wanted to put like an ad sign on
there like
your ad here right beard you butt billboard you know right yeah not a bad ideal
charge 50 bucks
you put your uh your law firm on his ass yeah it depends how much you pay we'll
do like a little
tattoo over there too like a little tramp stamp i'll hike up the shirt that
would be but we have
to do a thong that episode yeah thong app it's on one cheek right you know that'd
be a great reveal
you you know got a black shirt on you come out full ass there we go yeah like
what what realty what
the hell is that crack realty yeah there it is well we have a guest bartender
today which is
exciting so beer jew's going away for a while and if you've been following the
patreon you know that we
have been taking submissions yes people and uh we're joined by paulina paulina
what's shaking not much um giving it a shot to see if you guys like
what what are we what are we looking at uh well i was told to make a paper
plane
a manhattan and i will be making a mezcal negroni oh is that that's your
special that is my special yeah
that's company we have a lady that's the action i was waiting for yeah that's
my special welcome
thank you thank you thank you quick paulina what's your favorite to tell bit oh
come on don't do it
my favorite what david tell bit um i don't know all right i'm sorry oh no that's
normal
talamanca is trying to throw a wrench in the wheels here why don't you give her
a second let
her get comfortable there's a little pad behind a second ago can you let her
get comfy
that fill the room yeah i took the air out that filled the room yeah i'm gonna
try to be smelling
a mezcal negroni we have a classy drink coming to us i'm gonna get a whiff of
mark's ass all right
it's a turkey and uh avocado wrap yeah no i think that's like the perfect i
think that's the perfect
like uh spectrum to like uh kind of see like what the bartender is about i
think mark's on the perfect
spectrum right now we're all on technically we're on the spectrum because you
have like our like i
guess this is just our iconic drink now right the paper plane and then uh
because that's going to
keep making appearances and then i think that like one good like classic drink
like of manhattan like
shows like how well that's my go-to right exactly and like it shows like how
well you like know the
classics and how you can balance them out with like the nice ingredients that
we have and then um
uh then like i think like every bartender should be able to show like their
kind of like
like not a signature cocktail but show a little bit of creativity because of
like the guests that
we have here sometimes they'll have like special requests you know like then
you have to like kind
of work with it and get a little funky you know well she's gonna get funky i
love the idea of a mezcal
negroni that's gonna i've had them before and i think the smokiness of the mezcal
is is very nice
so i'm excited yeah i love it negroni is it's a spin on a classic yeah yes and
the mezcal negronis
have been like really popping off recently in the last like year that they've
been getting really
really popular also i think mezcal in general is getting huge like uh this just
keeps escalating
like mark farts then he belches he just shits his pants around minute 30.
today's episode sponsored by depends uh bino hit us up no but uh like you know
how every celebrity has
a tequila now like every single yeah i i am willing to bet that within the next
six months to a year
the next one that every celebrity is going to be moving to is their own mezcal
well the the dos hombres
already have yes exactly the brian cranston aaron paul guys which i tried it at
an airport lounge because
i don't love myself and uh pretty good yeah i thought it was a pretty good mezcal
well when you're in fort
wayne airport you gotta put them back apparently you think they have a lounge
in fort wayne good point
good point apparently aaron paul like took a lot of he really dove into that
like personally and brian
cranston was talking about that he goes you know i know nothing about this but
aaron paul like really
got into it like yeah he's like he was the you know the uh heisenberg of this
mezcal like he was
like he was really got into it went to visit oaxaca and the uh that's how you
that's a good way to
to get away with being an alcoholic like what are you been on a bender for six
months i'm testing
tequilas i'm working them all out i am the one who sips yeah i mean that's my
that's my that's been
my excuse for the last what almost a year and a half two years they're like
what are you doing
then it's 11 i'm researching there you go i got an episode tomorrow i love what
she's doing and
manhattan is what i make when i'm on the road i mean i've been lucky enough to
bodega cat in the
green room we sold a bunch of them at these theater dates they were selling
them to the crowd it's fun
i'm doing my crowd work we they can't do you know in theaters i'm used to
having bart waitress or
waitresses running the drinks the tables when i'm doing crowd work they can't
do that so my tour
manager brian is salakus nearly knocked the camera over my tour manager brian
is running with bodega
cat cocktails to give to people like this guy's a full service manager love it
yeah and uh but before
the show i'm making my own little bodega cat manhattan sure on the rocks do you
serve it up usually well
uh no this is this is a negroni on the ground so this is a paper plane yes oh
we share we share oh
yeah we're just gonna save one i love it great yeah does that work yeah yeah
all right there's also
some nice february cherries behind there as well what do you think about this
idea thank you all these
celebrities are making liquors monica lewinski could make a mayonnaise yeah oh
my gosh
huh i feel like jizz or what about just like a speckled dress clothing line
yeah oh what do you
call that um a stain stain free like those pants you can pour wine on it you
should have gotten on
the tide pen tide pen yeah she really missed the boat on that one monica lewinski's
jizz stick
all right who's just dated yet to a 38 year old joke sorry whose joke was that
where it's like he's
like bill clinton found the only jewish girl who couldn't get a stain out like
what is it
the only jewish girl that sucks a dick i don't know i was on uh prove me wrong
ladies prove me wrong
i found that they're very giving women i agree there's no sexual guilt like
with the catholic whores
um who won't we piss off this week guys why don't we have more female viewers
what was the jewish app
it was it like chosen paypal you mean no no jdate jdate jdate yeah i would go
on jdate my single day
j swipe that was it yeah i go on j swipe and go uh willing to convert and i
cleaned up because i
was like exotic the good one i was a goy but you know they thought oh i can
change him but i did one
time i was on j swipe and rachel feinstein takes my phone and starts just
messaging people with
horrible pickup lines because she thinks it's funny it's my life but uh she
messages one woman she goes
she goes uh uh you a naughty little girl that needs to be tamed me a bad boy
who doesn't play by the
rules and she writes back me a comedy producer you a comic who's doing my show
next week and i'm like
jesus christ how was the show awkward how's the sex terrible
damn wow that's wild yeah but you know she's a comic she gets it
and you can blame it on rachel yeah she wasn't a comic she's a producer oh i'm
pumped to try this
favorite plane so who we started beard you you have to start i think because
you are the
you're the simon i mean look at your shirt right now i keep wearing the same
shirt and i
yeah well yeah i mean the muscle shirt right i'll be randy jackson beautiful i
guess that makes me
paula let's do it all right no you're gonna be hiding club you gotta blow seal
can you pull up simon
cowell now have you seen his face these days it's pretty wild what do you got
paper plane mark you try
it now all right let's just do one at a time paper plane how often do you make
these paulina is a
paper plane in your rotation yeah i mean i yeah pretty often no it's nice very
nice no nice very
very well balanced smooth as hell very nice paulina yeah and she did she did
the orange one for me so
it's a little it's a little like uh smoother not as like acidic i prefer the
orange peel yeah it's
nice same yeah good call where where do you bar do you bartend uh in the winter
i don't i bartend
in montauk in the summertime for like a few years that i've been doing that and
the city of the
last bar was continental oh my god i've been there the five shots for ten
dollars that i kill you
that was a real college spot oh yeah you must have seen some shit over there
dude i spent no idea
you're like a you're like a ufc fighter who like trains in in a bar fight in russia
yeah
i'm covet patient zero
that's basically like working in the bar version of a waffle house right right
it's like okay on your
resume okay can you throw hands you gotta fight dennis right now just to make
sure like malaney had
that old bit about like i think we'll die if we go to nickel shot night i
always assumed that was about
the continental because they had that crazy deal yeah it's like it's all like
sugar shots and stuff
right is that uh is that guy from like the raiden mortal combat hat still out
there
oh yeah shut down a couple of years ago he's still around in the village he
opened an ice cream shop
pull it up he's known to be the raiden hat guy continental what hat raiden hat
remember raiden from
mortal combat what is with the hat why do you wear that well he's been i don't
know he wore it every
day for years i worked there for six years trigger is what he goes for trigger
yeah trigger and i don't
know covering his face very nice yeah pulling did you use the the carpano antico
for the manhattan i
you gotta pull up the continental yeah just look up the fucking raiden did it
work oh that's lovely too
very nice this is the this is which manhattan very nice all right now as just
like a like a
barnard thing i'm just curious how much i don't usually do them up three-quarter
rounds you like ice
for the manhattan i used yeah i do too yeah that's 0.5 0.5 and then just no no
very nice
is that the undertaker what the hell is that man take it because they're right
yeah totally
very nice like pics there as well oh thank you in the back like in the over in
the back over there
i can't find our guy i will say i prefer manhattan on the rocks but this is
very good very good
paulina p-dog yes i mean two for two i would say two for two and this is the
big one yeah this is
the mess on the groaning oh baby this is it the big reveal you got time to paulina
you got time to
cleaner huh we'll count it
there he is look at this guy there he is yeah that guy's carried me out of
there a few times
oh my god what oh that is lovely that's nice it's smoky i love the smoky well
each of those people
out right before he does he goes finish him finish it then leave yeah dude the
smell alone is
triggers nice yeah what's up with the ice cream place he owns now is it full i've
already closed that
windows oh no forget it it's very good yeah very good yeah which mezcal is used
for that i used yours
your guys yeah yeah yeah yeah this is a really good drink i i would try to sell
all right and it's
it's not like it's not overly smoky it's just there it's really good yeah just
enough smoke this is
a father going to pick up his job later doesn't give you a hangover at school
apparently yeah i'll tell
you what doesn't give you a hangover yeah exactly you like that very nice we
also have like a we have 