Name: Ep 119: Neal Brennan Likes Soup
Uploaded: 2023-03-20T01:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 119: Neal Brennan Likes Soup' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 119: Neal Brennan Likes Soup' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-20. Transcript available.

Ep 119: Neal Brennan Likes Soup

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God, this shirt is like aggressively wrinkled. I know. You look like shit. What
are you doing?
I love this shirt, but when it's wrinkled, it is a train wreck. How is it wrinkled?
You're
wearing it in back-to-back apps. Am I? Give me a coat or something there,
Peters. This is
embarrassing. Do you want a steward? I wore that on the last one. Shit in my
ass. All right.
Well, we're rolling. It's all right. Yeah. It's good. This is good content. The
people love the
wrinkled shirt content. Yeah. Good content really seems to good. You know, I
still have lovely. Oh,
we got Stephanie. And I want to try her paper plane because we didn't try a
paper plane last time.
Yeah. Let's cheers. Stephanie, thank you so much for joining us. Hey.
Thank you for having me. Oh, that's good. That's a really good paper plane. Wow.
Where'd you learn
that? At my job. One of the senior bartenders gave me some really great classic
recipes, and
this is hers. So shout out to Sarah. All right, Sarah. Where do you work? I
work at ABCB. It's a
vegan spot. I am not vegan, but it's actually, I shouldn't even say that. It's
a vegetarian spot. Oh.
Yes. Okay. They get upset when you assume it's vegan. Right. I'm saying that.
Oh, we missed all that. Should we redo it?
I'm a pretty loud talk. We'll do subtitles.
Is it tough when you got a little turkey sandwich on your cheek and they're
like, hey, you bitch.
It is devastating to bring McDonald's in there. You feel like.
Oh. That's aggressive though.
I know, but like occasionally you can't help but want a McChicken, you know? So
like if you bring
it in, I always feel like dastardly bringing something like that. It's like
bringing your kid
to a strip club. Yeah.
Yeah. They're like, bring him back in a few years. Right, right. Yeah. It's
tough.
Damn. All right. Vegetarian spot. Where is it? It's Flatiron near 14th Street,
Union Square.
Oh, nice. Yeah. Flatiron. Very close to here. Underrated area. Great spot. That
nomad,
they call it now. Yeah. North of Madison. But it sounds more badass than it is.
Nomad. Yeah.
That's a hot spot. That's a hot spot. You got the, what is it? What's that park?
Grand Mercy?
Madison Square Park? Madison Square Park.
Yeah, that's a great park. Madison Square Garden was. That's why it's called
Madison Square
Garden. Yeah. Then it moved to 34th Street.
There you go. Hopefully it stays there.
Apparently baseball was invented in that park.
Really? Fun fact.
Admiral Doubleday. Huh?
That's the guy who invented it. Who is it?
Admiral Doubleday. Whoa.
My favorite Star Wars character.
Give that a goog, though. I might be off.
Admiral Doubleday. Yeah.
The hell is that?
That's a whole person.
Huh.
Wow. Crazy that baseball had to be invented. They had to go, all right, we'll
do bases. You'll spit. Then you'll pat my ass. Like, you know, they had to come
up with all this shit.
It says Madison Square Park. Baseball week.
Yeah!
Well done, Mark.
You see? I got a couple.
1845.
Wow.
Hasn't changed a lick. Still slow.
Yeah. Definitely the players look different.
Yeah.
They all look like fat tubs of shit back then. Now they all look like Thor.
The long hair.
Right.
I mean, have you seen pictures now? They look like Noah Syndergaard.
Yeah, that's true. But then you got the Dominicans, too.
Oh, man. With the chains.
This is what a pussy I am. I'm like, I don't think I'd be able to swing a bat
with a chain that big around my neck.
They're just, like, running while it's bouncing on their chest.
Yeah. I know what you mean. I watch UFC, and they're in the corner after
fucking fighting for three rounds, and the guy's, like, wiping shit off.
I'm like, he just got a cut. That's how big of a pussy I am. I'm like, easy on
his face with the rag.
That probably feels like, oh, yeah. Look at that FUPA. Chris Christie's got a
fat upper pussy area. Look at that.
I saw him at Newark, like, a week ago, and he's just this big Oompa Loompa. Oh,
that's hilarious. That's like Laurel and Hardy shit.
Did you slap his arm and ride the waves back home from the airport? Jesus
Christ.
Yeah, well, he was in a big yellow shirt, and everybody was shaking his hand.
He looked like Big Bird.
That is terrible form.
Yeah.
I saw Bill Clinton flying public when I went down to Key West.
No way.
Yeah, he was just-
Wait, Bill Clinton?
Bill Clinton.
On a corporate or commercial airline.
Commercial airline, yeah.
Damn.
He just had three bucks.
Well, it makes sense. I mean, how, like, flying private's expensive.
I know, but he's Clinton. He's an ex-prez.
Yeah, but what do you think he just-
He flew private for a while, but then he's on some fucking sheets.
Ah, yeah, good point. Good point.
Epstein flight logs?
Yeah.
Maybe Delta's not the worst option.
Yeah, he was in some sheets, too.
But, wow, Clinton.
Yeah.
How'd he look? Was he eating McDonald's?
He looked thin, kind of grandfatherly.
Ah, a little sunken.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
He lost some of that McDonald's weight, for sure.
Yeah.
Remember that? He was a chubbier guy for a minute.
Oh, yeah.
A little hefty.
He had a heart surgery, right?
I believe so.
Yeah.
That'll do it.
Remember that Phil Hartman sketch of him at McDonald's eating everybody's food?
That was a great sketch.
So funny.
It must be tough to be out of shape and a cheater.
Because that's a lot of pressure on your heart.
Yeah.
Yeah, good point.
A lot of anxiety.
Tony Soprano, he was always dealing with shit.
Also, Viagra's horrible for your heart.
Is it?
Oh, yeah.
Good old Phil Hartman.
Ah, look at Tim Meadows.
Kevin Nealon.
Yep.
Phil Quinton.
Oh, my God.
Arkansas.
Hey, how you doing?
Nice to meet you.
How are you?
Man, who is funnier than Phil Hartman?
Nobody's better than Phil Hartman.
Ellen Cleghorn.
Shakira.
That means African princess, doesn't it?
Why, yes!
Well, she certainly is beautiful enough to be a princess.
So, you need to finish these fries?
It's just a fat joke, but it's so elaborate.
But it's like, by the way, that was the 90s.
Like, every joke was like, whatever, fatso.
And you're like, you re-watch it, you're like, all right, you gotta lay off me,
I'm starving.
You know, that was also a 90s fat joke.
But at least that was a little more, like, cartoony than just, I feel like a
lot of punchlines were just, you're fat.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
It was a show with Chris Christie.
Yeah.
But I said fat upper pussy area.
I tried to keep it a little classy.
Yeah.
That was elevated fat humor, Salamanca.
Fupa sounds like a Brazilian restaurant that's hard to get into.
You got into Fupa?
Holy shit.
I'm gonna try, Stephanie, this is an old-fashioned you made us?
Let's share this.
Oh.
Make another.
Oh, no, let's share it.
Make another.
Come on, I want one.
If you don't mind.
Of course.
Thanks.
No, no, I got my own coming.
It's a damn good old-fashioned.
I got my paper plane here.
I'll wait.
And then we, I know you got to get out of here, Steph.
No worries.
We appreciate you coming here.
And any peeves, Stephanie?
Anything bothering you lately?
Um, what is bothering me?
Mmm, the spy balloon?
A walker?
Ah, no, I'm just kidding.
That's hilarious.
Did you see, like, the picture?
At least maybe it wasn't a real picture, but it was, like, people throwing
things up.
Oh, really?
I don't know if it was real or not.
I did not see that.
That's fun.
I assume that's how Greta Thunberg gets around.
That seemed like her mode of transportation.
Just waving like this?
Yeah.
How dare you?
Um, wow.
Yeah, what do you got?
I know you got your kids in the car downstairs, but other than that.
I have worked in mine, actually.
Oh, really?
And is that a cool bar?
It is a cool bar.
It's a small bar.
And there's, at most, two of us behind it.
Well, if we have the bar back, there's a few more of us.
But it's very small, and it services the whole thing.
So it's a little hectic and crazy, but once you get the rhythm going, it's
really good.
All right.
Yeah.
What's your favorite drink to make there?
We have a pomegranate mezcalita.
Woo-ee!
Look who it is!
Neil.
Hey!
Neil.
Neil.
Neil.
Neil.
All right.
You guys had to start.
You do it live or something?
It's live, dude.
It's live streaming, like Louie's special.
Yeah, which he got out before Rock, which I think was intentional.
You think so?
Oh, yeah.
You know, comic says petty cunts.
Oh!
I think he was like, oh, Rock's doing one?
I'll knock it out first.
But we'll get into that later.
I got soup for me.
Oh, hey.
Can I hold off on the soup?
I don't know.
What do you think?
Is it funnier if I eat it?
Bring the soup.
Can I dip pita?
Let me get...
Yeah.
I need four pieces of bread.
Four pieces of bread works?
Are you going to drink?
Who's the Jew here?
This is so confusing.
I have a lot of Jew tendencies.
I know.
You are a Jew-y Irishman.
I know.
Tell me about it.
Hi, everybody.
It's me, Neil Brennan.
Hey.
Neil Brennan, everybody.
Yeah.
All right.
Oh, is this chicken noodle, I assume?
It's from a cart.
No.
They wouldn't give me an extra piece of pita.
Damn.
The boss won't allow it.
You got street soup?
Yeah.
Wow.
I love it.
So we'll see.
We'll see what happens.
All right.
Are you vegan?
To quote Theo Vaughn.
Yeah.
I'm like at least vegetarian.
Sorry.
All right.
Hi.
How are you?
This is Stephanie.
Hello, Stephanie.
Did I hear a Theo Vaughn quote coming?
We'll see.
Oh, okay.
Would you mind making one extra paper plane just so Neil can at least try it?
Yeah.
I generally don't like hard alcohol.
You're going to like this.
Trust me.
I will?
Yeah.
What are you guys doing not on my phone on Instagram?
Shouldn't you guys be on my phone on Instagram doing crowd work right now?
What are you doing here?
I got a spy balloon going up today actually.
I love it.
Should I yell out a suggestion to you guys while we're in my mood?
Well, we don't want to burn material.
The earthquake in Turkey.
Great comedian.
But you are grandfathered in and Mulaney just made it by a labia hair with the
not having
to put clips out.
I think our level.
You guys, you both sell more tickets than me, so.
Oh, okay.
I guess it's working.
You guys.
We are aggressive with clips.
Yeah.
You are.
I am.
We're both very aggressive with clips.
What is the plan?
What's the plan?
I've got guys going, I never heard you before.
Somebody share me this clip.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm saying how many do you try to do?
Oh, as many as possible.
Yeah.
If it's good, I'll throw it up.
I don't have like.
Do you have like every day?
No, not every day.
No, I go every three.
That's my move.
Really?
Thank you.
Yeah.
You're active in my thing.
All right.
I'll take it.
It feels like more than three.
Well, it's ruined.
Are you annoyed when you see that much crowd work?
No.
I think I've asked you both this individually.
I worry that just people are yelling out the whole time.
If I release crowd work shit, I just wouldn't want people yelling out shit when
I'm trying
to do other bits.
I do sections.
I do that.
Do you say like shut the fuck up?
I'll get to you.
Yeah.
Okay.
Same.
A lot of times I'll do it.
I'll say, let's do this at the end or I'll say, all right, let's talk a little
bit.
Like I, sometimes I like to just break up the material.
Like if you listen to like old Dangerfield, he'd do so many jokes, joke, joke.
And then he'd be like, he'd do crowd work.
And I'm like, I think he just is breaking up that rhythm.
Yeah.
So Rodney Dangerfield, he's a comedian that I'm sponsor