Name: Ep 124: Ms. Pat & Amaretto Sours
Uploaded: 2023-04-24T01:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 124: Ms. Pat & Amaretto Sours' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 124: Ms. Pat & Amaretto Sours' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-24. Transcript available.

Ep 124: Ms. Pat & Amaretto Sours

hey folks here we are we might be drunk special guest uh miss pat
whoo what's shaking we're just saying have we met i met you years ago i don't
know if you
remember it but we met on last comic standing oh briefly was you uh part of the
last group
absolutely not i was gone early oh i think i made it one one episode yeah how
about you
you were on for a while i made it till they picked they ate that's pretty good
yeah that's good tv
time oh it's it sucked i got eliminated on my birthday what damn harsh it was
keenan roseanne
and uh russell peters norm oh wow norm was really cool to me but uh keenan i
think buried me and i
was like i'm done i didn't think uh norm like me oh okay well he's been known
to be racist
no you wouldn't say that out these days
you'd have never said that shit if he was alive no we would try to get him on
yeah although i think
roseanne was one who took ambien that was oh that's true that was before ambien
that was before
she was very nice to me she was i knew her before yeah i love roseanne i do too
yeah we call it ba
before ambien was she nice to you yeah i did a show called the real funniest
mom and she was like
the host of it oh nice years ago and so um and i opened for va i opened in vegas
for once a couple
times so she's always nice yeah and then she went trump crazy and she blocked
me on twitter
no way she blocked you yeah i was like i thought we was friend roseanne
wow yeah she blocked me on twitter i feel like she's back on the scene now i
see her doing sets
yeah i see her out you know i see her pop up here and there i bet if you saw
her she'd be cool with
you face to face yeah okay i mean you know people so we all get a little crazy
here and there sometimes
i mean here here we all go a little mad sometimes huh we all go a little mad
sometimes psycho yeah
anything wrong with that shit scream also it's what scream scream also yeah skit
ultra skit
oh yeah skit all rich he was a sexy that guy from the 90s that actor scream
scream i don't want to
give it gets yeah he's in good as it gets the hate crime is as good as it gets
yeah beats up greg
yeah that's him remember him what he do he literally says that he goes anthony
perkins psycho
yeah he quotes him yeah he said we all get a little mad sometimes oh going on
what you said
can we what are we drinking tonight uh today it's the day for us we're doing amaretto
sours
oh that's my somebody must told you that's what i drink that's what you drink
yeah we asked to we
ask rosanne do you do a traditional one or damn yeah what what kind do you
usually do just like
sour mix and disarona or are you open to a fresh one then yes look at you with
the limes all lined
up you're a pro what the hell y'all get this sexy ass box i know right i grew
up in atlanta
just like you really uh i'm from norcross oh he's from where the money at i was
born in north side
hospital though oh north side hospital they don't even take medicaid you gotta
be insured to bring
your ass over to north side and open up your vagina they will push that baby
back in your ass and send
you down to grady hospital you know i was born in north side hospital you'll
never hear me say i was
born at grady hospital at grady they drop the kids and give them id and tell
them get a job the day
they come out the vagina i don't remember the hospital i just remember my mom
kept the pamphlet
because my brother and i were on the front of it like it was like what from the
late 80s
they was on the pamphlet at the hospital that's when you know you're a cute kid
it's definitely all
white kids though for sure oh no it's all white kids you gotta tell me shit
yeah we're trying to
move product here it's a few black kids now it's changed it's changed wow you
guys are lucky i was
born in a living room really yeah i thought you were gonna say i was born in a
holler i thought he's
gonna say a trailer oh i wish hey pam hello pam what happened your mama was
loose and just let you go
she was on the toilet she forgot no she uh an elvis birth yeah i think she was
just uh you know
procrastinating she was procrastinating if you just fell out like that yeah who
cut your coat
i think my dad oh well you know your parents probably planned that shit maybe
they're a little
hippy dippy yeah because you know white people believe in having their babies
underwater and
you know being born at the house and let the other kids slap it to make you cry
black folks like i'm
going to the motherfucking hospital when they get your bad days and i can steal
the napkins
we ain't gonna be pushing all babies out anyway anywhere you know probably what
are you 20 what 30
maybe 39 i'm old yeah you yeah you you getting up there yeah your mom probably
was a hippie they
smoked a little weed they wanted to be free exactly you probably got your afterbirth
in the freezer
yeah yeah the placenta yeah yeah she was fun but no i mean no drugs who didn't
do drugs my mom like
no epidural oh yeah she went natty natty which is insane which is fucking crazy
crazy and when people
say that i think there's i mean personally i think they're stupid because that
shit hurt like nothing
else yeah but some women are able to take that i was like let me tell you
something give me enough dope
for me and the baby you hear me i both of us need to be high yeah the baby need
to push itself out of
me give me i'm i want all the drugs yeah give me stitches i don't need yeah how
many kids you have
four oh wow wow that's a lot good for you you ain't got no kids no no i'm barren
fuck you mean
you bear i'm uh infertile i shoot blanks how you know unlike alec baldwin well
i can i've just uh
is that an alice bald fucking joke somebody gonna whoop your ass with these
undercover jokes you keep
putting yeah no he's he's catching strays and i see him in my local coffee shop
all the time
baldwin yeah and i i'm nervous because i posted a lot of jokes about him and i'm
just an espresso shot
all right all right yeah i want to say hi but i couldn't pull the trigger i've
seen him one time
uh at a i don't know what side of town i was on he was at a um like an italian
restaurant i went with
a uh producer one time and he was sitting next to me with a whole bunch of
other celebrities and i
guess they wanted me i felt like they wanted me to say oh alice baldwin i was
like i'm not speaking
if you're not speaking right yeah you don't want to start that yeah i ain't
want to run up on him
and shit the man was eating yeah noodles and shit i ain't gonna fuck with him
but he was sitting
right next to me this was before you know sure sure yeah he's catching he
catches a lot of strays
on this podcast but you shoots a lot of strays you weren't nervous no i wasn't
what you mean i
ain't been shot on no movie set shit they nobody made the mistake and shot me
they was trying to
shoot me right yeah he was playing with a pilster yeah that's how he got shot
no that's how he shot
oh yeah yeah he's trouble is he going to jail no it's up in the air i thought
it was a manslaughter
or like involuntary manslaughter i think there's a different news story every
week about it i don't
think nothing gonna happen to it i think it was an honest mistake it was an
accident yeah at least
that's what i hope yeah he's a nice guy he looks exhausted he's got like seven
kids
oh i seen him again at the hotel uh in beverly hills where they shot pretty
woman at oh yeah
yeah she got shot too i'm kidding no what beverly hills hotel i saw him there
coming out with his
wife and a whole bunch of babies on a nanny oh really a whole bunch of toddlers
and small kids
and a nanny well his wife had so many kids that she speaks like a hispanic
person here she is
i don't get it fake accent george santos listen she was born in boston is that
his wife yeah now
she can do a fake accent for you beverly hills
she was born in boston she has a fake act two white regular american parents
she puts on this fake
spanish accent because she lived in madrid why but no one knows it's very odd
she undercover as alex
ball and wife because he he he in trouble no it's cultural appropriation she's
just pretending to be
uh hispanic yeah no one knows why she wants somebody to feel sorry for her i
think that might
oh white women always still in the world what you gonna do next bitch be the nanny
she's she's done half of dolezal basically there you go she's gone like halfway
vocal dolezal
rachel dolezal remember her oh yeah rachel fool black people because we really
thought she was right
you black rachel really worked hard to get her skin to accept cocoa butter
yeah look pull her up who is doing only fans now i know i'm a member yeah are
you you signed up i like black women
well that ain't no fucking black
you gonna give it to the fake black woman
porn is getting so specific though now it's like white women who act black now
you get a category
who don't want to be black we're the coolest people in the fucking world but
you are cool
when you go all the way and use all the vaseline and
she tricked us but we did not know that was a white one let me tell you
something about rachel
dolezal the bitch ran the n-double-a-c-p am i'm right when you can be when you
can play to be
black and get all the way to the n-double-a-c- n-double-a-c-p yeah you black
she should get an oscar
that's impressive well she should have did was open up a giant and say i'm
black
a pussy with a screen negro
in the words of roseanne i didn't know the bitch was black
my friend loves it
but you know what i gotta tell you
i the lady who she called who she said that to
i saw her at the breakfast club years ago
and i was like that was a pretty damn good joke roseanne
yeah it's kind of funny tweet yeah pull her up because she is kind of uh
ambiguous looking who
ah she's a politician using the correct words
i don't think she was a politician was she i thought she was i think she was
like a senator or uh something he's on it we call him google bitch here we go
i thought the bitch was white oh i thought the bitch was black sorry wait valerie
garrett
valerie there you go all right let's check out valerie valerie jarrett
we're gonna get roseanne on here i love that she says i thought the
bitch in the apology yeah yeah that's a good point look she's kind of uh all
over the road here
look at that i mean megan markel's blacker let me see megan markel is
definitely blacker
oh yeah i mean that is a little ambiguous is that all right well it is back in
time she's
look at that okay okay yeah wow she's like a reverse dolazol she's getting whiter
she's going the other way she's black she's just light-skinned yeah yeah
oh wow there you go like really they should do a podcast together
after she ruined her career took her show off tv i don't think so well that was
more netflix
i'd say but who knows that was not netflix oh i thought it was a netflix thing
roseanne was abc
it was abc she had the highest number oh i thought it was sorry she was getting
like 20 million views
yeah she was like bringing back tv like totally like it was you know she was
she was killing that
yeah and it was good too was it yeah but what's crazy is they still on without
her i know it's kind
of hard they better not i better not say the wrong thing they keep my shit on
how many seasons are you
in now don't take an ambient this is season three whoa congratulations that's
really cool thank you
and you got an emmy nomination i got an emmy nomination first time for bt or bt
plus that's
the first time a bt show has gotten that yeah ever what that's huge yeah it's
pretty good wow we over
there trying to make a little bit of noise they be trying to ignore them we be
knocking on the door
hey we over here too how do you how do you find out you get an emmy now who
tells you that well it
just comes out like on it comes out you found out on like twitter no no not
twitter it's a um i
my co-producer uh found out it's some somewhere they let it go before the
public knows like for
writers and stuff through the writers gear and is it how 