Name: Ep 127: Rosebud Baker
Uploaded: 2023-05-15T01:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 127: Rosebud Baker' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 127: Rosebud Baker' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-15. Transcript available.

Ep 127: Rosebud Baker

that's what she does
leave it in i could have said something good all right well uh yeah good to see
you man jazz fest
new orleans i saw the pictures yes we might be drunk we did shrooms we drank we
danced the night
away you know you go to a music festival yeah crack that split that little ball
that i love the ball
it's like a spray paint i love it yeah reminds me of my tagging days did you
tag oh man we used to
go around and really look like a skater boy i can't ride a bike you think i'm
skating i'll see
you later boy all right what happened to her she transitioned no i just assume
any pop star she had
a tie she fell i bet she's still i bet she's still big you think yeah i don't
know i think she
came and went yeah we'll see what do you what do you got is she in rehab now
that's her today i bet
she's still young too i bet she was like an 18 year old pop star she seemed
like one of those yeah
how old is she now if she's younger than us so help me go oh she's definitely
younger than us but once
the pedophiles you get too old they stop listening you lose your demo um but
yeah jazz fest so i want to
trash one guy and praise one guy bring it on all right 38 years old oh wow she
is older than than
you younger than me um so it's good lineup lumineers dead and co ludicrous uh
lizzo ed sheeran a lot of
heavy hitters no pun intended with the lizzo but i want to see john bat john
baptiste yeah he's he's
great right unreal from new orleans local so it was ludicrous and john baptiste
at the same time so
she wanted to see ludicrous you know he's famous he's a big name he was a
classic i mean he had some
hits too what was it beer and chicken wasn't that the album move bitch get out
the way i got hose in
different area codes yeah that's a classic classic but i don't want to trash
the guy too hard but he
totally phoned it in really because he did area he opens the area codes and he
goes here we are in the
514 and it's the 504 so the whole crowd just goes all right this guy is just
getting a paycheck
so he kind of he kind of phoned it in and also rap we were talking rap it's not
great
live he's just kind of it's not that's not always true that's not i thought to
leave live once oh
really amazing yeah full band yeah it was ah that helps he was just up there
alone
it's kind of like stand-up you're like this sucks but but john baptiste had his
full high school
orchestra he had the marching band he had a gospel choir and he had like a
dance team on stage and it
was unreal it was like a powerful transcendent so you had to sway may into
going to baptista was she
easily sways she never heard of him so she's like we're leaving this famous guy
to see this guy i've
never heard of him i go he's a local he's killer he plays like nine instruments
she was like all right
all right best thing she ever did she was moved she was up on her feet hooting
and hollering i mean it was
incredible damn you know when a song is like the whole crowd it feels like one
unit it was like an
energy it was it was moving really something i love good live music oh and also
i met him once briefly did you
meet him when you did colbert he was cool super cool super nice yeah i wish i
got to talk to him a little
more but uh yeah yeah you know classic my parents they're like you're doing colbert
you know because
they're obsessed with new orleans like john baptiste is the uh the band leader
i'm like yes yes can we get
back to me that's how they are yeah but there he is that was the show look he's
wearing his high school
uh t-shirt oh it was really something damn i mean the whole place is going nuts
it was really something the marching band everybody's sweating yeah it feels
very new orleans too the
colors and oh yeah yeah purple and gold oh it was really just you know when you
because i'm not a
dancer you're not a dancer but when you have that for yourself oh okay i'm a
fine dancer i'd like to see
i'm in there somewhere but uh isn't it weird when you when you're at a wedding
or something and just
one of your friends starts dancing you're like you can dance i know it's like ryan
hamilton he can
move i'm like this dude can fucking dance twinkle to joe list can dance yeah
list can danny haynes
no he can shake a leg really he's a stiff honky i'm shocked yeah we can't i don't
even try though i
don't i think a lot of it's just like believing in yourself enough to try and
we don't believe in
ourselves no and you gotta let go we can't let go we're too busy observing i
can't like let it loose
but during that i was letting it loose and plus i was on drugs and drunk that
helps yeah but it's hard
to be like look at that jerk off and then you do it and you're like yeah i'm
worse and it's a lot of
there's not one attractive person in new orleans so everybody's fat and gross
and in tank tops and
crocs and they're just you know doing this shit so you don't feel as weird when
you when you do when i do
my finger guns and my white guy shit but it was really something you do the
finger guns in texas
they shoot back you'll be careful open carry yeah um but at one point john batiste
he was like jamming
rocking out jumping up and down and he goes stop stop stop he goes guys i need
more from you i need more
and the crowd was like oh shit and then he kicked it back up and we all went
crazy guy that was a
bunch of stiff whitey yeah but i was like man i wish i could do that at a show
once a woman said to
me during sex i need more oh my god uh yeah that's that's actually i mean we've
done that i guess we
have done that i do it the seller still i'm like guys come on yeah i followed a
comic here then i
did all crowd work and i'm going first it was like a fall a fallout spot i was
like i forgot to call
in i was like just give me anything you have yeah you go on after someone does
all crowd work i'm like
guys come on yeah came here in the rain there's nothing worse than having a
mediocre set and then
leaving in the rain yes you're like what is a fucking cliched movie it's so
true what's going on
because on the way to the show you're like i'm gonna get a standing o i'm gonna
try that new bit
that new bit's gonna open up another five minutes of new stuff i'm gonna be in
the zone and then it's
like guy doing crowd work she's talking they're not listening it's your reality
really sets in
let me make sure our guest is coming uh-oh this is a little
classic rosie o'donnell damn now i'd love to get rosie i just re-watched her on
curb
really oh man league of their own oh yeah all the way may she was hot damn uh
madonna oh yeah
yeah but would you still madonna yeah have you seen that meme going around madonna
is whoever
thought madonna would be less hot than roseanne and it they put them side by
side and it's true
i'd fuck roseanne i think wow look at rosie trying to be hot yikes that's gonna
haunt my dreams
she was thin then yeah i guess so
yikes that's what like they would consider fat back in the day that's true isn't
that yeah she was a fat
lady like she was like the fat punchline but she's not that big no no that just
says how much we've
changed as a society we are now fatter than this and now this looks thin that
works out for women
though but you know what's crazy is like you watch a sitcom from the 80s or 90s
90 of the jokes are
fat and gay jokes oh 100 it's insane you watch i tried to read the critics one
of my favorites and i
re-watched all the time but it's like man i'm like wow i forgot how many of
these jokes are just fat
jokes yeah yeah friends got in trouble for fat being fat phobic and all that it's
all monica was
fat that's every other joke and she wasn't even actually fat no but they were
like fat suit things
they were fat suits yeah you know oh yeah man madonna was so sexy back in the
day but look at her now
come on what happened it's like a she looks like an like an allergic reaction
that's what plastic
surgery does to you yeah she got stung by a bunch of bees yeah you know what's
weird is like if you're
a kid and you're like one day if i do anything to one day have sex with madonna
and then you grow up
and this is madonna yeah yeah now do the with the roseanne side by side if you
have a genie and the
genie's like you get to have sex with madonna and this is the madonna you're
like fuck i know
the genie's laughing can i do a wish over yeah the genie's like all right i'll
give you madonna
2023 no is there another madonna is she the only madonna what do you mean is
there another person
in history named madonna yes lady madonna the jesus is yeah uh oh not his
mother i thought it was
mary mary mary magdalene oh fuck how awful is this the madonna is mary mag no
it's not mad it's his
mother right i don't find mary that's mary yeah mother mary if only i had
someone to google this
it's mary's nickname what they didn't have nicknames in the before christ times
oh boy
but they have the madonna syndrome which is when you can't be attracted to
people you like
which i have what do you mean if i'm into you i can't get it up really yeah oh
yeah but if i if
you're just some throw away one one and done bam wham bam thank you ma'am i'm a
porn star how's
marriage working out for you not great i have to pretend to not know her it
helps it does help like
when someone's a rude bitch to me i'm kind of like wow it really there's that
seinfeld episode
remember jerry's girlfriend is so rude to george yes in love with her totally i
totally relate to
that totally i mean how much porn now is just like you piece of shit and i'm
like yes i am a piece of
shit right i yeah i've had women turn me on by accident just by being cruel
whoa cruel i don't like
you like cruel like cruel cruel but like rude okay what do you what give me an
example uh well i like the
rude the rude works like shut up you idiot i'm like oh god reminds me of my mom
more like of a
tease i guess i mean like rude like if a woman just like slammed a door in my
face i wouldn't be like
i need to fuck her right like you know it says here no i'm with you madonna
mistress complex is the
inability to maintain a sexual arousal within a committed loving relationship
there you go i have
that but knowing i have that makes it helps me what do you do games or
something uh no i think i think i just
toss her around a little bit throw a wig on ever yeah wig and also yeah we got
wigs what color are we
talking we got blonde we got uh cornrows we got blackface you name it we do
what we got to do but
the cornrows and the blackface are for you yeah yeah yeah oh mammy but she
likes when i'm mean to her
so it kind of works out because i don't think i'm a mean guy so i can be mean
yeah and now it feels
like i'm it's it's not me yeah it's kind of i've found that women do like a man
who's a little you
know dominating yo for sure you know they don't like a guy who's like they want
you to be like get
your fucking ass yeah i'll never do that sound again but uh a guy they want a
guy who's like
you know like a don draper type yes well it's like the chris rock joke excuse
me uh mrs uh could
you lick my balls ha lick your own balls you gotta have some authority but she
likes it she likes it
mean so you know it takes me out of it a little bit and then i can get hard and
also when you're
getting blown it's hard to not get it up it's also hard to be mean while you're
getting blown
true she's sucking your dick you're like yeah you suck that dick bitch and she's
like what the hell
sorry well you know these wall street guys they they dominate all day they're
yelling at clients
they're yelling on the phone so then they want their balls stomped on i think
women all day people
open the door for them they go how are you ma'am ladies first so then they want
a little mistreatment
in the ball stomping i totally agree i mean it's like the opening scene on
billions when he's
literally he's getting pissed on yeah it's like what he that's the opposite of
his life these
politicians but the ball stomping never spoke to me it seems like a bit of a
stretch of course
wha