Name: Ep 130: Lemongrass Margs
Uploaded: 2023-06-05T01:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 130: Lemongrass Margs' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 130: Lemongrass Margs' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-05. Transcript available.

Ep 130: Lemongrass Margs

Mark, what the hell? You passed out drunk again?
Oh, I was out with Alec Baldwin. We were drinking, doing shots.
Oh, that guy can't stop.
Oh, no, he loves a shooter.
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Yo, yo.
Hey, folks.
We're back.
We might be drunk.
And it's just us.
Ah, finally.
I know.
All these fucking guests.
Dead weight, I call 'em.
Yeah, dude.
Fuck 'em.
Yeah.
And Sally.
Speaking of dead weight, Sally Cuse is here.
But no, it's good to see you, buddy.
Hey, good to be back.
Just us.
Just us.
We can be alone.
So much to talk about.
Yeah.
You've been on the road for years.
A year.
You too.
That's true.
No, I like it.
We eat nothing.
I like the road.
Me too.
You know, people are like, oh, the road must be so hard.
I'm like, I'm in a hotel room eating ice cream naked.
Yeah.
It's great.
What the hell am I complaining about?
I love the road.
You can eat ice cream naked at home.
Eh, I got a wife, you know, that might turn her off a little.
Or turn her on, but you know, you sleep in.
Ooh, I got an ice cream rack for you motherfuckers.
Oh, okay.
So.
Jenny's?
No, that's a good one.
All right.
Jerry's churro flavor.
Whoa.
Cinnamon ice cream, dude.
Whoa.
It's like 1200 calories per pint.
Yeah.
It's mad good.
All right.
Churray for churros.
Yeah.
Damn.
That's a good one, dude.
All right.
I'm down.
Yeah.
I'll tell you, I gotta, I gotta, you wanna talk sweets.
Yeah.
I'm eating puffins daily.
You ever eat puffins?
They're good.
Yeah.
With little.
So good.
Yeah.
Yes.
Peanut butter.
Get the peanut butter.
You'll, you'll jizz.
I like the, yeah.
I like, I love peanut butter cereal.
Dude.
I, uh, I was in the supermarket.
Hadn't been there in a while.
And there's some ice cream brand.
I'm in Texas.
There's some ice cream brand where all the people on it are special needs.
And it took me a second.
I was just, you know, they're all on the cover.
And, uh, and I kind of just hold one up.
I was like, oh, I think everyone on here is special needs.
And a guy walking by without even breaking goes, yeah.
And if you eat it, you'll turn into one of them.
Didn't even break.
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
It was a drive by zinging.
Yeah.
I love those.
But, uh, wait, why are there special needs people?
Cause they give money to give special needs people, uh, employment.
Oh.
It's a good cause.
It's, but you know.
I mean, the guy's got a point because you look at the underwear commercials or
the underwear ad and it's always a ripped guy.
You don't turn into them.
You don't turn into them.
I guess you're right.
So you're not going to turn into that guy either.
Yeah.
Special needs.
So yeah, you're fine to eat howdy.
Yeah.
It looked good actually.
Birthday cake flavor.
All the birthday cake, anything.
Holy shit.
Oh yeah.
Love that.
Birthday cake.
Good flavor.
Uh, I had a fudgy the whale last night.
Yeah.
You ever had that?
No, is it good?
It's an ice cream cake.
I know it is.
I don't think I've had it.
No.
I've never had it either.
I'm from the South and it was amazing.
Blew my mind.
Yeah, it did.
Fudgy the whale.
There he is.
Look how cute.
You guys like ginger ale?
Yeah.
Sure.
Not the people.
Just the food.
Um.
I'm joking.
We do like him.
You know.
This was a local New York thing.
Cookie puss.
Cookie puss.
That's great.
He's got a dick on his nose.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
And a puss in his name.
Yeah.
Good for him.
That is a dick nose for sure.
I think they knew what they were doing.
Yeah.
So I was just in Montana.
Speaking of the road.
Mm-hmm.
Never been.
It's beautiful out there.
It's a bitch to get there.
It's a bitch to get there.
But did Bozeman and Great Falls.
We go to the hot springs.
That's like their thing there.
Mm-hmm.
It's freezing cold.
It's mountains.
But they have these hot kind of ponds you can sit in.
And it's so nice.
It's like a hot tub.
And after you get in the hot springs, you go into the shower.
And some guy goes, I'm talking to my friend in the shower.
And he goes, you sound familiar.
And I go, oh, yeah.
I'm with a naked guy.
And I'm like, oh, I thought this was some gay code.
And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah.
And he goes, I don't have my glasses on.
But you sound like a comedian I know.
And he was like doing the squint like the, he had no glasses on.
And I was like, yeah, yeah, I'm a comedian.
And he goes, yeah, I don't know what your name is, but I like this comedian.
And we got to talking.
He didn't know it was me, but he knew my voice because he couldn't see me.
That's crazy.
So it was like a great moment, huh?
Was it a steam room?
Steam room.
So it's like cloudy?
Cloudy.
So he was like, you sound, I was talking to my friend in the steam room.
And he was like, you sound familiar, but I, and I was like, oh, it's not me.
It's not me.
And I was like faking it.
And he was like, man, you sound just like this comedian I know.
And then he goes, this guy, Mark Norman.
I go, he's good.
He's good.
I'm like blowing myself up.
And then eventually I told him.
Better to be recognized by your voice than your dick.
True.
That's a, no, that's crazy, man.
So I, that happened to me.
I was actually at a Knicks game and with Stav and both happened to both.
We got a few times we, you know, got stopped, but one of the guys grabs me,
goes, I fucking
love you.
And he puts his arm around me and takes a picture and he goes, thanks, Mark.
And the guy did it to Stav.
He walked by and he goes, he goes, you man, Steve.
You got some of the letters, right?
Steve, Stav.
Have you ever gotten me?
I've gotten you.
I've gotten you a couple of times.
Yeah.
I get it like on, on social media.
They're like, oh, this guy's so funny.
I love Sam or whatever.
I've gotten Mark a few times.
It's funny.
Yeah.
But, uh, yeah, man.
And also when I do Q and A, I go, shout out like a news story.
They go, Sam Morrell.
I get you too.
That's a big one.
Yeah.
What do you say for me?
Cause I never know what to say.
He's, uh, he's dying of AIDS.
All right.
Well, you keep it truthful.
It's very hard to talk about.
Yeah.
What do you say for me?
I say, uh, funny guy, big eyebrows.
Cause you gotta say something silly.
Eyebrows.
Um, I gotta pee for you.
All right.
I saw a guy describe someone recently as just a straight guy, just like a
regular, you know,
white straight guy just goes, uh, he goes, well, this person was a bundle of
joy.
Hmm.
I was like, what are you?
A fucking chat bot?
GBT?
Like who speak?
That's not how people speak.
Right.
That's like, it felt like manufactured.
Yeah.
It didn't feel like an authentic thing to me.
I like bundle of joy cause people usually only use it sarcastically.
Like you're a real bundle of joy.
That's how it should be used.
Yes.
It's a ridiculous, calling a person sincerely a bundle of joy is insane.
It's insane.
Yeah.
My PE coach in fourth grade hated me and my mom came to pick me up one day and
he goes,
excuse me, miss, is this your bundle of joy?
And she's like, yeah.
And then he just shit on me in front of my mom for like five minutes.
Wow.
It was brutal.
And my mom hated it.
But, uh, that's the only time I've heard someone refer to me as a bundle of joy.
And it wasn't good.
That's good.
Yeah.
He was a dick.
How about you got any peeves?
Uh, yeah, I got a couple actually.
Cause we've, I haven't seen you in a while, but, uh, how about this one?
I got the guy who said, hold on.
I wrote these down.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I got a few too.
I want to make sure I don't forget.
Cause I write, when I don't see you for awhile, I like to write them down.
Hold on.
What do you got here, Sally?
Sally's got some, I got a peeve here.
Some plagiarism.
A listener called in here.
Uh oh.
Hold on a second.
Let me find it.
Okay.
Hold on.
We're all looking at screens.
Yeah.
Not good.
Not good.
I got another pee for you while we're waiting.
All right, please.
I love when a giant beloved celebrity dies and someone will write it in their
obituary.
They go, I hope I'm remembered like this someday.
You won't be.
Ooh.
You won't be.
Cause if I outlive you, I'm writing one of the Instagram posts and you ain't
Harry Belafonte
motherfucker.
Okay.
Yeah.
How about you go earn it?
Earn it.
We're not just going to talk about you like Harry Belafonte.
He's Harry Belafonte.
It's kind of like when you get into a crash with a, you're in the flight of
playing with
Kevin Hart.
It's Kevin Hart died and a bunch of other people.
Exactly.
What do you got?
Hold on.
I can't find it.
Sally, play your video.
Okay.
So I have a listener, a viewer called in a, a video peeve here.
What am I?
Like, you know what my pet peeve, my Larry David moment is, is when people are
in the passing
lane and they're going as slow as everyone in the regular lanes and they block
the whole
thing and you can't get around because I like to, um, yeah, yeah, I gotta move.
And when I feel trapped, I go all Larry David on them.
I'm, I'm.
Thank you for calling in Brad P.
Oh, that peeve stunk.
That was Brad Pitt.
All right.
Well, I'm glad to know he's a fan of the pod and.
Yeah.
Thank God you're handsome.
That's a, it's a, it is funny to hear Brad Pitt be like, I'm like, I'm like
Larry David.
Ah, you're not really.
Yeah.
Right.
Oh man.
Larry David was at the Lakers game the other day.
What?
And you, it's literally Nicholson, Larry David.
You're just like, man, two people I'd like to hang out with very badly, but.
Of course.
But Larry David, the whole game just legs crossed, like just looks grumpy.
Larry David the entire time.
By the way, it's so funny that so many of the big Lakers celebrities are Knicks
fans.
Oh really?
Larry David, Sandler.
They're Knicks fans, baby.
Really?
They're ours.
They're New York people.
Yeah.
Well, I think Sandler was born in Brooklyn.
His dad's, his dad is a New York sports guy.
So he's a New York sports guy.
Uh-huh.
So he's like Knicks, Jets, Yankees, Rangers.
Uh-huh.
And Larry David, obviously sheep's head big.
Brooklyn, yeah.
So there you go.
All right.
Hold on.
I had my peeve.
Give us a peeve.
Oh.
I'll tell you, we need a peeve.
Oh, it was big.
It's a good one.
My peeve is when people don't write down their peeves.
I know, I know.
I got a million notes that I can't sift through.
Well, one is I have a guy who always says exactly.
He says exactly to everything.
Yeah.
But everything can't be exact.
So I'll be like, ah, it was late.
I got stuck behind some guy.
He's like, oh, exactly.
And I'm like, that doesn't make sense to what I said.
But he just says exactly every time.
So he'll be like, you owe me two bucks.
And I'll be 