Name: Ep 139: Nick Griffin
Uploaded: 2023-08-07T01:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 139: Nick Griffin' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 139: Nick Griffin' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-07. Transcript available.

Ep 139: Nick Griffin

Hey hey hey oh here we are we got it we're joined by one of our favorite guests
thank you so much
turned by one of our favorite comedians working uh great comic oh yeah the best
in the biz mark
and i used to use you as the example of like the best comic on late night you
would do the best
late night sets yeah i uh got to do late night for a lot of sets there and but
i i was like different
from you guys because i um i was obviously older than you and so my whole
exposure to comedy was
just watching letterman and sure so i thought that was what you were supposed
to do right five minutes
and uh put it on tv somehow and uh uh i think that's kind of going away a
little bit oh it's
100 gone away but i think at the time it still moved the needle no i remember
mark messaged you
didn't didn't you message nick when you were like i'm doing uh conan like what
do i do like
what do you have any advice didn't you do that yeah yeah i don't know if you
got it but uh i was
a huge fan because you did what did you do four lettermans four you did way
more than four i don't
11 11 what the hell wait 11 what the hell yeah a couple conans yeah and then a
ferguson or two
if i'm not mistaken old fergie yeah old fergie the alcoholic heroin addict
great host but yeah he
doesn't he wasn't there i think he was there for one set but um wow ferguson
wasn't there well he yeah
he taped it beforehand that's so weird to do a show and the host isn't there i
know i know do they do
that to do they do that to musicians or is it just us well yeah i think
sometimes they just can't make
it who is the guest host well no it was no it's what i mean there but he he
like they take it way
before i see and then they plug it in when they don't have a guest at the end
of the thing right right
it takes away the thrill of the experience i mean i have like good experiences
on late night where like
bill hader would knock on my dressing room door and you have a moment like it
it takes away from
the totally any big guests you're on with yeah i was on with uh my first one
was with uh that um
guy from the columbus zoo jack hannah oh wow he's a legend yeah but i think i
think that was the one
i got bumped and uh because his dogs went long yeah that's rough yeah that was
tough sorry nick noodle
stretch tonight yeah
rough rough bumped you yeah yeah but my mom was there and she said uh like even
after the show ended she's
like you didn't come on and and uh my sister said yeah mom thought you were
gonna come on after the show
they would just let you do that yeah wow that's how tv works 11 lettermans
though is that's 55 minutes
of comedy yeah that's enough that's insane you did a special worth worth of
letterman sets that's
incredible plus conan's plus ferguson's yeah that's a lot of jokes and that's a
lot of tv clean comedy
yes and you have in your act has edge i mean there's it's very rare that a
comic with like a real strong
like point of view and edge can do that many late nights
yeah again like all my favorites were like jeff stilson and uh jeff cesario and
obviously hicks and
um steven wright and all those guys had bite to them obviously yeah and uh but
i remember watching
them going that that's exactly what i wanted to do um and uh coming home you
know drunk and half high
from high school and turning on letterman was like that's just like gold baby
yeah of course you don't
want to cut anyone off here let me get the old there we go look at you guys
that's sam's cooking up on
negroni yeah we do what do you think i'm gonna know what you said good got the
the heroin spoon stirring
nice can i take this off this is the negroni right oh yeah ah smells like
freedom
not bad right oh delightful that's an easy one to make it's just three parts
right perfect though
campari sweet vermouth and and some good monkey 47 right there hey nothing
wrong with that this is
what success looks like to me oh yeah it's also what being a failure looks like
too drinking in the
afternoon it's the exact same uh so how long you been sober me i've been sober
25 years wow that's a run
yeah i i were you doing stand-up when you were yeah i did stand up for 10 years
until uh until i was
about 30 and then uh and then we we we shut it down what was the team got
together what what did the
going out of business sale look like it was just bad it was it was actually in
cleveland and uh was it
hilarities no it was uh the improv down at the flats and um yeah it didn't look
good i mean it's just
all the all the things you would imagine and i just said this you know i was
never actually very good at
drinking i just always got hammered and uh threw up and passed out and started
trouble and uh just
everything bad it just wasn't working yeah i didn't think i could uh continue
to do it on a
productive manner so were there incidents at the clubs that were the oh yeah i
got banned from uh
comedy and magic club for drinking wow that's and that's the club where they
tell you not to curse too
yeah yeah no they were so good to me and i did so many sets there but uh i got
drunk with slayton
there one night and bobby slayton and i couldn't drive and and they asked for
my keys and i said okay
here's my keys and then i went ran out to my car and i had to hide a key
and they had to pull me out of the car that's not so bad no
um but a kid you ran over after that but other than that i thought you were
gonna hit somebody you
know you were no there was no yeah yeah well yeah sure but no there was no
deaths or prison or anything
like that that was that was that was the height of it but um yeah i stopped in
cleveland um and um
look it's uncomfortable it's not fun to not drink sure it's uh it's uh it's
easier to drink and
relax a little bit but uh that's not how it works tough place to quit though
you don't want to be
sober in cleveland that's a way sure yeah absolutely and you don't want to be
sober in comedy no no no
you don't a lot of discomfort a lot of assholes a lot of awkwardness yeah you
want to tell
i don't know do you hate drunk hecklers as much as i do like i i mean the worst
it's just when they
aren't coming at you with anything real and you're just like wow this is this
guy's big moment and i'm
in the middle of it yeah it's the worst and you go shut the up and then they
pull the guy
out and he goes i was laughing like you called me a homo how's that allowed i
was trying to help is
the best yeah that's a classic yeah you said you hope i get aids and die that
was you helping exactly
no it's uh it is i resent the bad drinkers because i think they make us all
look bad yeah i don't
like like whenever there's someone who does like a drunk driving thing i'm like
you're supposed to
behave on this right so we can keep doing it yeah you know good point keep it
at least you're in new
york you know i was in la and drinking and you have to drive everywhere and
that's not this is pre-uber
yeah oh yeah definitely pre-uber definitely pre-uber i remember one time i lost
my keys
and it was like four in the morning actually it was here in new york when i
lived here in like 91 92 and um
i uh i knew that my window was open in my apartment so i climbed jumped on the
fire escape and climbed up
the fire escape and went into the apartment and got into the bedroom and
realized i'm in the wrong
fucking apartment oh man that was scary because there was people in there and
what did they say
they weren't they were asleep oh my god yeah b and e yeah oh my god a host of
yeah crimes there that could have been a lot worse yeah a meal for a million no
one woke up no one
woke up that's the worst thing is you're like this is so easy to do is what you
realize yeah damn was
she hot at least what is this man hunter well it sounds like a porno start or a
start to a porno who
am i yoda that's uh that is crazy wow that's wild but you know it didn't it
didn't like it didn't
devolve into like i said to where it's insanity where you're wrecking cars i
mean i wrecked cars but
like um you know duis and jail time and did you ever get arrested for it no no
you're fine yeah i should
get back out there yeah i have those drunk nights where i'm like i can't
believe i'm alive you know
like high school nights and college nights holy shoot i woke up once on the
railing of the the
interstate i'm in my car like the two wheels were up on the on the rail and i
was like yeah
and i had to pull off to throw away the suicide note you never went this is not
being good no no i said oh i'm glad i survived that and i went to a bar yeah
yeah it was bad
yeah how about you sam i just like it too much to it's so much fun it's so
great and it tastes good and
when i was younger of course i had those those blackout nights where i was like
what am i doing i'm an
idiot i yeah i could have gotten killed but you know you hitch i've hitchhiked
drunk i've done stupid
shit yeah that was not safe i'm right but you're too young to know any better
right and uh it was in
new orleans oh wow it was i did this shit and some guy just picked me up i was
wasted whoa uh yeah and
he fucking handed me a joint and we smoked it and i didn't end up getting sodomized
so it's a win i
guess yeah not bad but uh i mean yeah dude no you do dumb shit all the time and
uh but then you get
older and you're like yeah i don't want to have to quit because it's nice and
it's a nice way to
end well yeah you gotta weigh the uh positives and negatives yeah the hangovers
are a problem but you
know you deal with it first days have to be hard sober they're the worst they're
either uh yeah really
awkward or someone leaves yeah yeah well there's always that i always put in my
uh i used to put
in my profile that i i was sober you know i'd always put i don't drink so if
that's a problem yeah
do you think that scares people away oh my god yes really yeah i think so i
think i don't think
women want to sit there with uh john quiet the worst superhero ever he's in the
library again they order
four manhattans and you're just like keep going yeah all right right right wow
so but some women are
sober too and you guys probably have a bond yeah i don't think i've ever uh met
them really i'm trying
to think maybe i have but nothing nothing jumps out oh yes uh the woman i dated
for seven years
was sober or not not even sober she just didn't drink she didn't have a problem
but she just was uh
kind of a health nut uh-huh and uh so that went well that was good for that's
good you you want the
other person to be the healthy one you want to be the up in the relationship
definitely yeah because
it's cooler right it is you gotta edge i think i think your jokes all the time
like i was reading
the einstein book and you have a great einstein joke oh yeah about something
like oh yeah i'll read
this book maybe i'll come with a joke and i was like oh yeah nick griffin
already has the best
einstein joke about being divorced yeah einstein got divorced and you're like
it shouldn't be do you
take this woman to be your wife it should be do you think you're smarter than
einstein yeah that's
brilliant that's yeah that was uh that was a big one that was like i hadn't
done t matter of fact i was
also down in um new orleans and i hadn't gotten on letterman yet and uh uh i'd
just written those like
five to seven jokes about divorce uh were you freshly was one of them what's
that was a divorce very
recent yeah yeah well it's not it wasn't like it was probably a year and uh i
remember i i was there
down there with havey at the there was an improv at some casino down there harrah's
harrah's and it
wasn't it wasn't very good it was like in a ballroom or something yeah it's
gone now um
comedy anyway i i it's not for me i got a good comedy town anyway i got a call
that night i got uh
back from the show and i got a call that night from uh uh the uh letterman show
we want we want you to
do the show we love the einstein bit whoa what a feeling yeah yeah that einstein
bit i really
every now and then you write something you go this is going to kill 