Name: Ep 141: Joe List
Uploaded: 2023-08-21T01:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 141: Joe List' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 141: Joe List' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-21. Transcript available.

Ep 141: Joe List

Hey, you got a liquid death in there, Sally?
In that little cooler?
No, I don't get one in the kitchen.
He's going, he's going.
Sit down.
Dang, whatever you got.
We're rolling, by the way.
Oh, jeez.
You want to start it up?
Rolling.
Rolling, rolling.
Shall we?
Let's show.
Can I eat a cookie on here?
You can eat a cookie.
Yeah.
Eat a cookie.
This is saving my life.
The chewing on the mic.
See, he sucks you back in.
Right now, you start to hate him.
Just kidding.
The Tom Waits.
Are we rolling?
Here we go.
All right, let's do it.
Hey, folks, here we are.
We might be drunk.
We got a hot guest.
Going to be back.
Joe List, everybody.
Hey, I've never heard you say my name.
Yeah, it wasn't fun.
It's weird.
Whoa.
Oh, my God.
That was terrible.
Holy hell, sorry.
You got to catch the can.
I caught it on the fingers there.
Do three taps.
Here, throw another one.
Mix up any carbonated can.
Three taps.
It won't explode.
Is that true?
It's true.
Grab it.
What do you got that's carbonated?
One opposite of my penis.
Two, three.
This is water, so it won't explode, will it?
That one's not...
Oh, is this not carbonated?
No, you're good.
Oh, this is iced tea.
Let's test it.
Throw it again.
Let's see.
Are you on camera?
All right.
Three taps.
Three solid tap.
Rhythmic taps.
Probably too slow.
Like this.
All right.
Open it up.
Sugar more.
A little jizz there.
A little laugh and learn.
So, I missed out on the JFK Hotel yesterday, I hear.
Oh, yeah.
You didn't miss much.
Well, you sit in a pool.
You drink.
May said, is Sam in?
And I said, he's out.
Furiously out.
You know what?
I want to be there.
I want to be a part of the hang.
But your wife picks the JFK Hotel.
It's crazy.
We go to the airport hotel.
I know.
The place we go every week.
And the worst airport, by the way.
The furthest one.
We sat in traffic.
It was a beautiful gesture.
We had a good time.
But the getting there is a nightmare.
You cab or train it?
I Ubered.
I drove.
But then I took the LIRR back, which is a nice little hack.
It's the limousine service of public transportation in New York.
Yeah, definitely.
But, you know, we had some beer.
You know, Doug Keyes out there.
Ruby showed up.
We had a good group.
He ate chicken fingers.
We got to go on an old plane.
Salakew's bailed.
Jason Katz bailed.
Ari bailed.
Wait, should we not put this in?
This is bad.
Yes, cut this out.
All right.
Ari's dead.
Sorry, it's a hack.
So you're literally, you're watching, you're near planes.
It's actually a JFK.
We're at the airport.
And by the way, the pool, first of all.
Did you have to go through security?
No.
I mean, at this point, it seems like maybe you do.
I don't know.
May searched me, but that was it.
Well, first of all, the pool, it was a great hang and a great day.
And I love Mark and May, let's say.
Sure.
But the pool.
That's what I say, too.
The pool, when I go swimming, I want a pool, like a party pool.
I want to run and jump, backflip, pie dive, or whatever you call it, a pencil
dive.
You want to picture Stavi Baby jumping in.
Oh.
He yells cannonball.
Yeah, the water's out of the pool.
But this is like a three-foot, you sit and talk in the pool, which is fun.
But to me, it's like we could sit and talk outside the pool or inside the pool.
It's a great idea.
You see the brochure.
You go, wow, everybody's having fun.
It's like a Heineken commercial, you know?
And then you get up there or you start driving there and you're like, ah, I'm
going to the
airport.
Ah, this is tough.
And I feel guilty because all you guys, I'm like, their day is gone.
I had anxiety the whole time.
Really?
It was also a $100 entry for Sarah and I, $100.
And then parking was $68.
Oh, my God.
I got chicken tenders.
Those were $35.
Wow.
It was a big day.
It was a $300 day.
It's a lady day.
Well, I'm celebrating my next special at the San Jose airport and I hope you
all can
make it.
No, it sounds like a pain in the ass.
Why don't we just do like a steak dinner or something?
Well, I think she wants to do a big thing.
But it could be a big thing.
I agree.
I love a steak.
No, it was awesome.
But like all things.
And this is where I think you got some problems, Sam.
Oh, there we go.
All things.
Once you're there, it's great.
Immediately, as soon as you step out of the car into the carpeted hotel and it's
beautiful,
you go, all that ride is gone.
Right.
It's fantastic.
The hump.
You're in the pool.
You get to see Doug Key shirtless.
Salacuse didn't show.
That was a bonus.
That is a bonus.
And what the hell is that thing?
That is a pomegranate lemonade.
You don't know who you're talking to here.
Gateway.
Yeah.
Gateway.
Pomegranate lemonade.
It's virgin?
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
Both.
But pregnant.
But it ended up being unbelievably fierce.
Can we still toast non-alcoholic?
Is that okay?
That's delightful.
Of course.
All right.
Bad luck.
What do you think of this, by the way?
Oh, it's very good.
Tell me when the pet peeve thing happens.
That's all I got.
We can go whenever.
It's a loosey goose.
Peeve us.
I was just at a hand.
I don't want to name names.
At a hang.
Seven, eight people.
And is this, am I just, is this just Boston, Irish?
Irish, alcoholic, asshole behavior?
Or are you with me here?
Hit me.
You always support me.
You're a wild card.
There's like seven of us at the table.
Two people order drinks, like the same cocktail.
One of these bullshits, but with vodka.
Okay.
And they go like this.
Cheers to us.
And then they toast.
Do you find it obnoxious for two out of seven people to toast?
Because to me, that's like a fucking insult.
Insane.
You toast everybody.
You toast everybody.
We got the same drink.
Right.
What am I, asshole?
Cheers to us.
Yeah.
That's deuce city right there.
That's awful.
You can't do that.
That's like throwing your own party.
Yeah.
TWA.
At JFK.
Okay.
And before we even go into that, yeah, I apologize for not being there.
Joe is right.
I did get an oven delivered yesterday.
I need to be there for the oven.
Jews with the oven.
That's not why I got it.
God damn it, Mark.
Sorry.
It's not Holocaust related.
I need to cook.
But, no, I think Joe is right.
I think it's, you toast everyone.
And for the record.
Except for Salacuse.
Everyone else.
There you go.
Everyone who's important here.
Cookie.
Well, Salacuse is too busy shaking with that camera hold.
Oh, Michael J.
Can't help it.
But, yeah, I get that.
It's a little, you're clicking now.
It's a click on a click.
Well, you just feel like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
We're not toast worthy?
Right.
Toast everybody.
And you're already causing an infighting in the group.
You guys are over here now.
Yeah, you guys are.
Well, I don't want to share my story.
You guys talk.
Right.
I'm going to be over here.
Right.
A toast to no one or everyone.
Yes.
That's the rule.
Thank you.
Good t-shirt.
That's the whole thing.
You get up there.
It's like the Pearl Jam album.
Do you guys have any go-to cheers things?
Words you say before?
Well, it's funny.
You have Tom Waits here.
Champagne for my real friends.
Real pain for my sham friends.
It's a classic.
Ooh, he was good.
Yeah.
He had a couple.
I did one time.
I was in a Baltimore Post show and as a joke, it was McGooby's at the bar.
They had that little, right when they built that whiskey bar.
And I, as a joke, go to Hitler's good ideas.
And it gets a laugh from the people around me.
And then there was a skinhead at the end of the bar who goes, he does have good
ideas.
No.
What?
And I was like, ah, crap.
That really backfired on me.
Oh, my God.
It was Timonium skinheads.
What were the good ideas?
I don't know.
Out of curiosity.
Well, the Autobahn.
That's not bad.
Oh, that was him?
Oh, right.
That is.
Yeah.
The Volkswagen, which is the people's car Volkswagen.
Ah.
And Arian Purity.
And there we go.
There you go.
The outfits were very good.
Hugo Boss.
Yeah.
Well, they manufactured them.
And they didn't have any.
They got no blowback for it.
Years later.
It was like a small.
He got, I think the Hugo Boss manufacturer got.
It was the kids inherited it years later.
And then he just, his fee was not for manufacturing Nazi uniforms, but for
slavery.
He was enslaving employees.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
I had just found out that Schwarzenegger's dad was a Nazi.
I never knew that.
Yeah.
I missed out on that.
They gloss over it.
And Gibson's dad's a Holocaust denier.
Kirk Gibson?
Oh.
Dodger's great.
Kirk Gibson.
Who Gibson?
What Gibson?
Guitar.
Oh, Mel.
Yeah.
Oh, Mel Gibson.
Oh, I thought you were fucking with me.
No, I literally went straight to Kirk Gibson.
And then I thought Debbie Gibson.
Mel is the third Gibson that comes into my head.
I think we're alone now.
We're getting put in the oven because we are Jews now.
There you go.
Not bad.
That's a number one.
Wow.
I'm not surprised.
I mean, it rubbed off.
He had those rants.
Yeah.
Mel.
Not Kirk.
But Schwarzenegger.
Mel is such a Jewish name, too, right?
Mel?
Mel Brooks.
Mel Blank.
Yeah.
I don't know about Mel Blank.
He was a Jew.
Yeah, Mel Blank was Bugs Bunny.
Okay.
Boy, Jews had some killer comedy back in the day.
Yeah.
They're over now.
But, you know, it's like, but like Sid Caesar, all that was all Carl Reiner.
It's all Jews.
You know, Neil Simon.
Crazy.
Woody Allen.
It was just, bam, bam, bam.
Mark Twain.
Yeah.
I just don't know what Jews are.
Chris Rock.
Yeah.
Dave Chappelle.
Colin Quinn.
Yeah.
The Jews.
How do you not like Jews?
Of all the groups.
I know.
My hero, Larry David.
Get out of here.
Yeah.
Sandman.
By the way, Sandler was at the strip the other night.
I heard.
Yeah.
His daughter did a thing.
Really?
Yeah.
So, he brought her up and he played guitar behind her.
Damn, dude.
Yeah.
The comic strip, that's, I mean, that was my home club for so long.
You guys never really did the strip.
I did for a minute when it was the junior.
What's his?
Richie Jr.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I had my own show there.
Yeah.
For a little bit.
Holy shit.
That's right.
I had a time where I was at the strip.
I used to take the bus from Stand Up New York to the comic strip and I always
felt like
I was hustling when you take the bus across the park.
Yes.
I am a comic now.
That's a nice bus, too.
You just go through Central Park.
It's kind of a nice.
Totally.
You know.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
You cut through.
You go under that little bridge.
It's great.
And it's upper Manhattan, which was crust, upper crust.
That club was great.
Great club.
Yeah.
Well, it used to be the, when I, I'm 78 years old and I started 14 years before
you.
Right.
It shows in our level of success.
But the strip, when I first started coming down here.
We're plugging your fucking special.
Yeah.
The special's great.
Check it out on YouTube.
Yes.
Let's get a couple thousand views.
There you go.
I'll wrap it up.
Take my own life.
But I used to come down in like 2000, 2001, 2002 with this guy, Ed Regal.
And the strip was the spot.
Yeah.
They had the booths.
And that's where you went.
Yes.
Nobody hung at the cellar.
There was like those eight or nine guys would be there, but like all the other
comics.
And then at one point, they ripped out the booth.
They literally were like, we don't want comics hanging out here.
And they got rid of free drinks.
They took out the booths.
Free drinks.
And that's what Gnome is so great at understanding is you have to, the comics
are the most important.
Exactly.
You have to make the comics want to be there.
Remember those Christmas parties?
I mean, I was poor.
I was some Brooklyn queef, you know, doing the Creek in the Cave.
And then I'd come meet you.
Come to the Christmas party.
It was spreads of food, buffet style, potluck, fried chicken, lasagna.
And then you remember you saw Angry Bob.
You're like, whoa, Angry Bob.
There's Eric I.
Boy, I'm really rubbing elbows here.
And then the free drinks.
My God.
Oh, man.
I remember.
And then at the end, they would always do like the most bitter comic would
always give a speech.
Really?
He'd be like, man, this is a historic club.
You know, I don't get spots here anymore.
And then you'd be like, all right.
And then I remember, you know, R