Name: Ep 144: Sal Vulcano & Winnie The One-Eyed Dog
Uploaded: 2023-09-11T01:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 144: Sal Vulcano & Winnie The One-Eyed Dog' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 144: Sal Vulcano & Winnie The One-Eyed Dog' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-11. Transcript available.

Ep 144: Sal Vulcano & Winnie The One-Eyed Dog

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hey hey oh sorry no you go hey wait what's this oh you brought the dog hey i
didn't even notice it
you walked in you didn't even say anything oh my bad i went right to the seat
you did one of the you
did one of the things i usually do we're like oh and you walk in yeah over no
just uh flew in
yesterday went straight to spots and i had a 10 a.m pod so i'm how is that
improv show it was great but i
blew it why well i feel bad i didn't prepare and it showed really and it was
star stud it was like
kreischer joe coy whitney uh fortune feimster deon cole craig robinson jeff dunham
you're representing new york what the fuck i know i they go do old material you
don't have to burn
anything new i said great i know all that and then i'm up there going what's
that joke from 2014
how's that end and it went okay but i forgot three jokes i had i didn't say
thank you to the improv i
blew it yeah well we don't we didn't like come up there that's true that's true
yeah but you still
got to say thank you i guess yeah ah the ego i was like i got this it's good to
have one of those
every once in a while i learned my lesson but you don't learn your lesson on
netflix with a big shoot
they fly you out you know yeah fuck i know i'm ashamed but it still went okay i
just you you hate
to know that you forgot three jokes you know damn i know maybe they'll edit it
so you look fine all
right i hope so they probably use five minutes of it anyway but the dog looks
good the dog is
can you introduce us to your oh this is this is this is a lady i'm seeing uh pooch
one-eyed winnie
and uh lost an eye dude a fucking pug with a touch of chihuahua surviving on
the streets of la she
was found wow so that's why she has one eye because she probably some fucking
tough uh la chihuahua was
like hey mama yeah hey mamacita out on skid row doing fentanyl and uh i mean
she was probably had to
fight for her life so she does she'll be last night she's in her bed and i just
like touch her and she
goes ah like this like like she'll snap on you i'm like oh that shit doesn't go
away yes were you you
know flashbacks so streets they're in her well you matt was it what were you
just saying to me about
your cat oh no that cat is a stray and she will only sleep in cardboard boxes
whoa
he said his cat's a stray he took her in and she only sleeps in cardboard boxes
now
he just said that he's on a mic oh thank you
oh okay wow all right what are you what are you dressed like a special needs
kid what's going on
here you're gonna try to class it up a little bit okay i am matthew okay well
this yeah this dog
is great though fun we literally play the thing i just we just took a cab up
here and she fucking
loses it at rap music she hates rap music really ah that's adorable maybe she's
singing along
she probably knows biggie or one of the la street dog yeah she she she yeah
yeah she knows tupac she
goes way by she's this is suge knight's dog she's 16 dude oh yeah an old lady
walked up to me on
the street the other day and she goes i hope i look that good when i'm 16 i was
like you won't
it means you're 112 you'll be long dead you know yeah exactly trying to be
polite but come on
i'm gonna look up rap music from 16 years ago and see how she reacts to it
oh okay 16 years ago really 2002 2007 7 see i can't do math all right this is
exciting i hope she
pulls out a shank and cut somebody she probably was getting like held down by
three dogs and getting
raped and she had to just shank her way out yeah she got out of there yeah she
fought her way out
good for her she's a badass all right here we go now make sure it's los angeles
based oh get
california love on let's see what happens yeah that's all that's 90s play it
loud too are we
gonna get demonetized right now you gotta play what 16 seconds they'll give you
wow i forgot about
the whole mad max thing she's really down oh it's popping up uh-oh oh man the
flashbacks are swirling
remember that night fight on sepulveda
yeah she's getting a little anxious a little angsty
she's perked up she needs a for that she was at that barbecue that she needs a
little treat here
winning oh this is great ah she'll be shitting that up in about eight minutes
come on she's got like no teeth oh man she's older shit you love older women
holy moly yeah i think the rap thing pissed her off i know i think that was a
bad idea
wow she's like an old conservative she's like turn that shit on
burning nwa records with nancy reagan
oh boy one eye one eye is fucking always kind of funny yeah yeah it's funny it's
like you know it's
like because it's badass you think like nick fury you think of uh what's her
name from kill bill
daryl hannah yeah dan cruncher but it was like from the war right he was a
marine yeah i mean
so it's always like a badass backstory yep and then just a little fucking pug i
know pull up the men
in black dog because that's what this reminds me of pugs are fucking great
great and great for
kind of like the tongue out i mean it's it's gold
there he is i wonder who voiced that guy because he killed it men in black is
solid oh the first one's
great it is oh yeah the dog got a name a or j rip torn looks like a bulldog he
does
hey
i'm gonna have to put a pee pad down she's getting moist
seeing that hot pug in a tux dude she that's the thing is she still starts shit
like i take her on a
walk and a big dog will walk by and she'll just go like and they always back
down because she's got
that street in her right but the one time they call her bluff she's fucking
dead of course if she's got
nothing to back there's no teeth left i mean she can't bite she's got like one
tooth yeah like that
david tell bit right taffy and what she's got a little uh little weight around
the gut there i mean
she's out of touch yeah out of shape out of shape she's losing it but she's
cute as a button and uh
i wish we could get her on the mic we'd just hear some of these stories i got a
crazy fucking story
for you please i got because i was in la the week before you i do whitney cummings
podcast
and uh afterwards we're doing spots so she drives me to the spot we're on the
same show
she does a phone call with rodney dangerfield's wife whoa so she was you know
they're just on the
phone they're just chatting i was like oh and whitney's like oh she's like the
coolest person she's
like really loved him you could tell she really loved rodney and we're on the
phone
um and afterwards i start doing the impression in the car and whitney's like
you know she's cracking
up she's like i didn't know you love rodney like that i was like oh i love rodney
you know
yeah no i know you liked him but i was like oh no he's like maybe my favorite
you know
and uh she's like we should call her back you should do the bits on the phone
so i start doing
the impression and she's cracking up oh i'm getting her laughs i know that
could have gotten real
i'm like her with rap getting triggered wow oh my god what would be worse than
fully committing
to a bit and her being like he's dead what the fuck is wrong with you but you
know but she was
cool about and she like was like oh i really loved him i woke up every morning
like laughing and happy
he like made me so happy and it was just so cool because she is like a hot
younger woman so you're
like you never know but clearly the love was real sure and then i'm doing i do
a bit i do you know
i was an ugly kid my mother never breastfed me she told me she liked me as a
friend and she laughs
then she goes it was another breastfeeding joke you know i was an ugly kid my
mother she breastfed
me through a straw i'll tell you it was ugly she goes that's it i've never
heard that one and then
she goes i got a ronnie dangerfield joke that no one has ever heard you want to
hear it oh and i was
like of course he's coming out of brain surgery we don't know if he's gonna
make it he says before
like shit i don't know like if i don't make it uh you know hello beer jew yo
perfect timing and he
says you know ronnie dangerfield i'm telling a story about dangerfield's wife
is telling me over
the phone and she goes i uh he says to me like if i don't make it fuck like
what do i do i need my
mind to be sharp and he's going into brain surgery he comes out they don't know
if he's okay and the
doctor everyone's in there the doctor goes uh ronnie did you cough anything up
and he goes yeah 500
bucks last week to a whore everyone in the room fucking erupts in laughter like
can you imagine just
like it's like off the cuff wow just like is he dead yeah it's literally like
the undertaker just
like popping up you know wow also what a great wife she's like oh the whore
thing it's a joke
but good for her to roll with it oh yeah doesn't look like winnie oh i can see
it yeah i can see it
yeah the big eyes they're calm they have comical faces for sure yeah you know
the uh the jay leno
rodney story when he's in bed yeah what is that again he's laying in bed you
know could die at any
moment all the pipes the tubes are all hooked up and the wife goes jay just put
your finger in his
hand you know just to let him know you're here because he couldn't respond or
anything and uh he
goes rodney he puts the finger in hand goes rodney you're my favorite comic you
mean the most to me
and there's one thing i gotta tell you that's not my finger and he said rodney
like went like a like a
twitch and he's like i think he got it i yeah i heard that story and i think joan
was in there
with him too right it was it was i don't know maybe jay leno and joan were both
in there wow what a
room holy shit hot show it's a hot hospital i know but it's a good roster leno
was supposed to be on
this la show and he had to back out i was i was hoping to meet him yeah because
i know he's a fan of
yours and i'm a huge fan of his i want him on the pod oh i feel like he's got i
mean his 80s
stories i just want to hear i remember reading his book when i was like a kid
remember that one
leading with my chin oh yeah that was a good one that was great old school he's
got all the history
like he he stopped in front of the car he got hit by a car during the the
comedy strike in the 70s or
80s for a guy who loves cars he has had bad luck with cars that's true but i
guess that comes with the
obsession sometimes he might be the toughest guy on the planet gets his face
burned off and then he's
back at work doing jokes about it and that's what you do like some people are
insecure like there
was that one comedian who had a weird chin and got it removed and repaired and
he like none of us
know his name right leno's got a weird chin he's like i'm the chin guy yeah
that's what you do
have you seen the louis and leno fight on on the tonight show it was great
great can we play that or
we are gonna get pull it up play that it's louis and leno on the tonight show
and but it's playful
but they go back and forth in a way where you're like i think louis kind of
going at him a little
bit like i got this guy and leno's kind of like no fuck you i can still yeah i
can still have fun
exactly becau