Name: Ep 148: Nick Offerman & Bodega Cat
Uploaded: 2023-10-09T01:00:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 148: Nick Offerman & Bodega Cat' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 148: Nick Offerman & Bodega Cat' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-09. Transcript available.

Ep 148: Nick Offerman & Bodega Cat

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your balls this guy's the
best he's a military uh guy too yeah he's a veteran he's a big comedy fan huge
comedy and uh
great guy i every underwear i have is like ripped up in the pieces swiss cheese
this
shit stays good oh yeah and they make it for guys and gals the ladies got it so
yeah get some sheath
best undies in the biz are we rolling ordered he pulled an oj he wrote a book
damn but oj got away
with it and then wrote the book that's true it's funny he went through the
trial and wrote the book
right this guy didn't go through a trial did he no he was squeaky he was off he
was good to go
yeah i saw suge knight was like i'm not going to testify and we're like yeah
well your words worth
a lot at this point you know you see when oj puts on instagram every comment is
just knife knife knife
knife knife knife knife knife he's on camera on show as like a sports
correspondent really it's kind of
hilarious it's hilarious to have just a show where you have a sports show where
you're like yeah we'll
just make oj the sports correspondent yeah that is amazing damn that's
legitimately funny that's what
i keep hearing is he on barstool no he's got his own sports show but dude he
there's a clip of him on
like a new show we got to pull it up he literally dude he gets shot and he's
like he's like yeah people
came for me but they didn't get me like he was talking tough after like he was
out of the hospital
like a day and he's talking shit wow it's pretty cool if i got shot i would
that'd be my whole
personality i'd be like oh shit i don't want to go outside again i got shot
this is my whole thing i
wouldn't be bragging about it well i'd be like please don't do that again yes
that hurts i love you
whatever you want i'll give you money but the tupac thing is crazy because i
heard he got caught
from tick tocking he was making tick tock videos yeah he was he was bragging
about it on tick tock
which too bad jfk never had a tick tock guy that would be great if that existed
back then that
would have been a shorter oliver stone film true what do we got i don't know
you paused on a
no this isn't it what exactly did the uh did you hear the guy say like they
said it's not it but you're
gonna let it roll out great google guy we got a little bitch uh you're not
touching that coffee take
it i'm taking it all right so you were in europe for a month yeah missed you
man i've been talking
a big game hey i'm a tough guy i'm cool and i was like i don't get jet lagged
it hits you two days
later oh man what do you mean what are you superman you get jet lagged i never
got it really i got to
europe i i i adjusted quick i land back here i'm wrecked my head feels like it's
this big i'm cloudy
i'm gay i'm all over the place but europe was a blast i'm cultured now can you
explain the pictures
of all you guys dressed like sure gay bathhouse a lot to talk about in the 70s
with david bowie
yeah well we went to the kit kat club pull that up i'm sure there's not a lot
of photos of it because
they don't allow phones but no berlin everyone said uh if you're going to berlin
you got to go to a
sex club and i said you're damn right who are you talking to uh you know i get
that too in like
montreal you got to go to a strip club i think i hang out with fucking scumbags
well i was with
jeslene but um so yeah so i was like all right we got to do it but if you go
you got to dress up you
can't just show up in a fucking cardigan and an argyle sweater so uh the lady
was all over it the
wife was like we're going to this store like the sex club store we're going to
get the boots we're
getting the shorts we're getting the garter belts we're getting the neck collar
that's a manscaped
uh boxer brief by the way i had no shorts and we spent a fortune on this uh but
all right you've
already lost it man what are you doing okay so we got uh yeah were those
uncomfortable this does not
look comfortable ah you know you gotta get used to it i mean i'm wearing fishnets
too if you notice
they're pink and uh i had a decent bulge i took a blue chew and yeah i got
eyeliner going it was fun
you guys look like a like a sexy band in the 80s or something yeah yeah duran
duran or something yeah
so uh we show up the thing opens at 10 we got there at like 9 15 because like
we should get some food
first i didn't know you're supposed to wear like a trench coat you get in and
then there's lockers
so everyone why would you know that that's insane yeah so we're walking around
the street like this
an hour before eating shawarma so i'm at a shawarma place like i'll have the
lamb please and the guy's
like what the fuck and i'm just eating and they i think they just thought we
were weird americans
so we get in there and it is insane there's a room there's so many different
rooms there's a techno
room a tango room there's a full swimming tango tango i feel like too classy a
dance for this outfit
well people start tangoing to get some cooking and then they start uh fucking
so we is there sex in
there full-on sex blowjobs everywhere there's a bunch of bars in there there's
a bunch of uh couches
and nothing is sanitized everything would get me too'd in like eight minutes
here oh because you're
volunteering it i guess so me too is the work environment thing not the this
wasn't this isn't
where weinstein was doing his deeds i don't know it felt like it there was a
casting couch it was wild
but there's an old guy jerking off there was a guy yeah how old i'm talking 80
like a biden just
walking around woo baby maybe it was him there was a naked guy in a wheelchair
he was uh you know
handicapped just going around full dong out it was great in a wheelchair in a
wheelchair it's a beautiful
story they were uh dwarves with with with uh collars and a leash are people
wearing masks are they
protecting their identity no no no all out there that's that's where i got coven
no mask you got
covered no i'm just kidding but uh yeah it was insane and then eventually after
being there because
it just flies by because there's so much stimulus so much to look at and i go
hey wife we got to go
bang and she's like what really i'm like there yeah i'm like well when in rome
everyone's doing it
so we fucked like in public in public and the fact that i got hard is a goddamn
miracle that's
i was looking at all the other that's like i mean i want to yes and you here
but you're
you're in public now with that what kind of person have you become you you
blend in you know
you go to berlin you you know you go with the people mark's next slide is we
went to a nazi
rally i didn't want to salute but you gotta blend in was following orders yeah
so uh i'm banging the
lady now here's where it gets real wacky it wasn't easy i mean it took a lot of
a lot of like you good
yeah what is there like a way to get hard in an environment like this mostly
looking at the other
women that helped because there's naked women everywhere he looked at the guy
in the wheelchair
he's like that'll do it lieutenant dan over there so i'm plowing the lady and
this guy got her from
behind this is open dance floor like that oh my god and uh this guy comes up
and taps you on the
shoulder and i go uh-oh this might we might be in trouble i don't know if i'm
doing something wrong
and i look back and he goes me next and i go what the fuck get out of here they
don't have me too
in amsterdam they have me next yeah hashtag me next and but that's normal there
he wasn't even being a
dick he was just like oh all right you you met some lady who wants to get railed
i'll do her next
jeez so that was uh kosher i don't mean to sound you know prude here but it's
so unromantic you know
like like part of the fun is the chase and the and the seduction and dude just
being like you line
up like it's the bathroom right a little weird isn't it yeah he took a number
uh but like a deli yeah
exactly i'm number two he wanted that beef tongue you asked for a sample yeah
what uh that's incredible
did that how many people were watching uh well it's so normal that like people
walk by and go
how about that and they just move on are you worried about getting recognized a
little but the outfit
helped i had a couple people say hey comedy which was weird i said comedy and
they're yelling your
catchphrase wall yeah well mark's fucking his wife i gave a praise Allah out of
the gate and so i go ah
get out of here i wave him off and now i'm starting to get like all right i'm
fucking this woman in public
uh i got a guy tap me on the shoulder there's people everywhere people are
staring at us there's
the gimp in the the wheelchair with the mask and a dick clamp and i'm kind of
starting to lose it like
all right i gotta free i'm freaking out i gotta stop this did you come no i was
about to there's a guy
next to me i looked to my left old guy jerking off staring at me with his
tongue out and i said
that's it wrapped it up couldn't do it the wife's like what are you doing i was
going i was getting
into it i was like ah that and she was like oh and i we walked away i hate to
say but under the
circumstances he was in the right no i'm not mad at you're fucking in public at
a sex club he should
get the jerk off to it if he was a little better looking i would have gone with
it but he was an ugly
guy and he was kind of scary it was joe biden if it was hunter you would have
done it yes exactly it
could have been hunter that's true hunter gatherer but yeah so i i had to bail
and she was kind of
like oh that was a little anti-climactic and i was like i know but that the
jerk guy i was out
i can only go so far we're still you know comedians who live in new york i mean
i don't think i could
ever do could you ever do something like that no but i love how matt peters
could you yeah how the
peeves have gone from the streets of new york are too crowded to i don't like
this guy jerking
off on my wife yeah subway i'll take it things have gone too far yes
how was that it was really weird a lot of old people yeah yeah i was listening
to a guy
my wife in the other room a guy it's like your wife my ex-wife oh whoa is that
what ended it
a 60 year old lady dude you know uh yeah i guess you don't ask your age but uh
that's uh god damn
matt you're like a whole nother life i guess that's who should be at the sex
club as old people if
you're young and you're starting at that place that's weird well that's the
thing about this club
is they're very uh picky so everyone in there was uh it was either hot people
with great bodies or
anomalies you know the wheelchair guy the dwarf uh the you know the guy with
the gift mask and
covered in tattoos like everyone had a thing or you were hot so the only reason
we got in is because
we our promoter got us on the list thank god what a weird request yeah i love
that you did that that's
insane oh you pulled up the boogie nights damn what a sad scene oh that was peters
after the white
that's a tragic character brutal there's a lot of sad characters in boogie
nights but that one
takes the cake yeah sad it's a not a good sign when you're more sad than seymour
hoffman
in a movie that's hard to pull off when you're the more depressing character
yeah dude mark i