Name: Ep 151: Halloween 2023 (Simon Rex, Ian Fidance, Jordan Jensen, Oz Pearlman)
Uploaded: 2023-10-30T01:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 151: Halloween 2023 (Simon Rex, Ian Fidance, Jordan Jensen, Oz Pearlman)' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 151: Halloween 2023 (Simon Rex, Ian Fidance, Jordan Jensen, Oz Pearlman)' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-30. Transcript available.

Ep 151: Halloween 2023 (Simon Rex, Ian Fidance, Jordan Jensen, Oz Pearlman)

we're rolling hey we might be drunk we might be gay we're ambiguous we got
superman here super Jew that's me beer Jew Salak you man gambit Jew we got a
Wolverine Jew it's Halloween man oh that's the dog yeah dude yes Millie
Winnie Winnie can I pet the dog real for the dog oh my god and that cute so can
what's the story how old she's 16 gay Epstein she's on the fence yeah okay I
think all dogs are gay or a little bit yeah I think she's honestly asexual she
just kind of okay she's just kind of a cold bitch to anyone who comes near her
nice to me if all dogs go to heaven and they can't be gay oh all right so you
guys are doing coffee but we'll get into a drink I mean we need energy but yeah
we're doing we're drinking too okay uh thanks for having me back guys we were
excited I mean I saw you in Charlotte a few yes a few a couple months ago
thanks
for lunch that was awesome fun yeah that was a good crew he was on tour I was
doing a movie there we met up I couldn't come to a show because I was working
that
night but we were Tony Cavallari that's right oh he's hot you know what you
know
him from uh Righteous Gemstones Righteous Gemstones he played Ozzy Osbourne in
that movie The Dirt he's awesome really funny comedic actor he comes from an
improv background and he's a very nice guy but he's a big fan of yours he was
so
stoked to meet you that was so fun man that we had the whole crew uh can I eat
these candies these days you gotta ask everyone because they're drugs in candy
fentanyl we gotta test her oh shit hold on fun dip fun dip was this was like
drugs for kids oh yeah it really was your first dipping in a powder bag yeah um
do you guys all right not LA guys but you've been to Hollywood Boulevard and
you've seen the guys that walk around in the
and they're like a soggy sad suit that looks like like they want to be a
superhero but it's
like the butt's dirty and it's soggy and they're skinny like a dirty Pokemon
nobody pays them they're just doing it yes I feel like that guy yeah because
your dick is showing a little bit
I got a small like right now it's super small it feels like it's showing pretty
big in red rocket dude
well that was a prosthetic that was a fake it was a hammer it was a hammer was
it funny because I had to put my big dick in a smaller dick so that was
uncomfortable
no no it was uh it was very awkward putting on the prosthetic penis yes it was
the director who puts it on you
the director's uh fiancee what who was the producer of the movie Samantha Kwan
had to we had to get intimate pretty quick because she had to like literally I
would put my penis in this other
and she would like do this very very independent film so just basically like
paste it around my crotch and balls and we had to do a test where I had to jog
in place and see if it flopped
realistically oh that was awesome oh it was awesome and she's Asian yeah so
that must have been even bigger yeah Kwan that's yeah uh so yeah that was Sean
Baker's fiancee and she did so thank you Samantha Kwan
there you go yeah when I got I tore my sack in college jumping a fence and they
they had to stitch it up but of course they brought the hot nurse in with my
tiny acorn because I'm you know I'm in a doctor's room it's cold I'm nervous so
my ball bag's being sewn up and then the nurse came in and put a gel on it and
I was like did you get hard no I was too ashamed because I don't know how bad
it looked
this explains a lot of uh women issues you have yeah a lot of shame but you
gotta sit in the hot blonde you know 22 year old I had that with a you know I
had a thing on my dick a while back in the in the hot they're like oh we have
our student can she watch and I'm like can I see a picture first
hot chick really yeah she watched she watched and of course you're shriveled as
hell I'm like of course it's not like it's like it's a bad dick day yeah bad
dick day it's like a it's a full interview
it's like your dick's first open mic it's not ready that grower shower thing is
real like I got a couple friends who are just always packing heat like 24 7 and
then people like myself who have a little dick that can get big okay so so
there's both and then it's the guys with the permanent big hog that are just
like dude that must give you the big dick energy so much more to know it's just
showing in your pants yeah and you could get pantsed at any moment and you're
like I'm good so like yeah I was at a comedy festival recently and they do the
naked roast which I don't know why anyone would sign up for that naked everyone
or just the victim just the victim
and the host and the judges I remember Kurt Metzger had a line about that rose
where he goes just write jokes
I know I know like how hard is it to just write jokes well they did have jokes
but I know what you mean
oh look at this this is killer we got blood that's brilliant brilliant is that
tequila you're good dude
well played gambit the gambit outfit I'm a tequila guy awesome this is great
cheers boys hey mazel tov
oh now uh we might be drunk now what is the uh is it kool-aid what do you got
in there oh no I just
donated my own blood this is pink grapefruit juice right now we're drinking it
is magic johnson's blood
fuck oh god he's still going that's pretty good oh boy trying to put down this
coffee so I can drink
this blood yeah let me kill this hey yeah so coffee and alcohol yeah so this is
this the point of day
usually where coffee transitions into alcohol or is it different every day no
we usually don't drink
this early I mean unless we're podcast that's what I mean yeah usually it's the
pot the pot the pot will
force us so what have you been up to you'll be back in the movies the world or
you uh yeah back in the
movie world but I can't so it's funny uh I had to remind myself on the way over
here I'm you know
because of this strike that uh you know could be over any day now for the sag
part the the writer
strikes now over so you see snl's coming back all the talk shows are coming
back we were just asking
how come snl is allowed to come back if sag is not complete because also like
fallon and some of the
other talk shows are coming back I think it's the gray area between it not
being writing for an actor
so it's not really sag because they're not actors they're hosts even though
they also act
right I believe that I'm not smart enough to know this is just what I think
that there's still that
that's sort of the gray area where okay now we could do talk shows and then
eventually scripted
actor show as well got it okay that makes sense so yeah anyway I'm just glad
shit's opening up but I
I'm not allowed to talk about all this cool shit I did but I am allowed to talk
about one that was
so this is how it works is is sag has to give you a like basically waiver like
give you the
a hall pass to talk about or promote online a movie that you did and do press
so I'm here for
the New York Film Festival uh and I got a movie called The Sweet East which is
a really cool indie
that was just in Cannes so I was back in Cannes it's so funny how I got into
this like artsy fartsy
like you know actor world uh because after Red Rocket I'm doing these cool indies
so this one is
sort of in that same world like shot on film do you ever see a movie called
Good Time
yeah it's uh Safdie Brothers oh yeah remember how cool that movie was great
movie part of the
fucking coolness of that movie was it was shot so beautifully by this the DP
director of photography
uh named Sean Price Williams okay he's the guy who shot that movie got it if
you wanted a cool
A24 movie or you're in Europe and you want a French artistic movie this is the
guy you want to shoot
your movie yeah so I met him in Cannes when I was there three years ago for Red
Rocket and he said
uh I got a movie I'm doing my first directorial debut and I just knew it would
be cool because
he's such a good cinematographer yeah and I knew he was such a film nerd that
he would make a cool
movie and then I read the script and I play a white supremacist uh professor
who's a Nazi sympathizer
who gets to drop serious bad offensive words that you can't say anymore I'm
like I'm in
wow and I'm Jewish so it was fun to play a Nazi sympathizer yeah it's gonna
confuse the haters here
oh yeah dude now what about those people like hey you're gonna have a trans
person you gotta
be played by a trans person are we gonna go to the point where no you gotta
have a real Nazi oh
that's a good question not in this case I guess not they got the exact opposite
yeah so exactly so
but that was fun to play that so anyway the movie's called the sweet east it's
uh that's why I'm here in
New York promoting it and uh hell yeah and the canceled people they need to
play a real rapist
like we bring them back right that's right that's how we get them back yeah
they gotta work
Jim Jeffries said the great bit about like well you have to be trans to play a
trans person but what
about all the good-looking people who are playing ugly people like Charlize Theron
is monster that's
right that should go to a real uggo a real monster yeah that's progress yes oh
there it is okay so
there's uh that is this the film that Tony's in as well no this that one we
just shot that's another
movie that I my first I actually I got my first producer credit on that one so
funny I just had to
ask like I've been acting for 25 fucking years I've never got the respect it's
always like stand here
say this wear this say it like this which is fine but you you know I got ideas
I'm not you know I
sometimes they're better than the writer's ideas just being honest and I in
this movie I was I
simply said hey I want to be a producer on it and they go okay that's all I had
to do this whole
fucking time so I had input on my wardrobe I had input on rewrites I'd be on
set punch like pitching
jokes they put them in the movie I was like this is awesome hell yeah um you
know you see some actors
who kind of take it to that level of like producing as well that's kind of what
I want to do because
you know so much shit out there so bad oh yeah that I feel like I I got some
ideas hell yeah you've
been in the game long enough not just the fucking you know Jewish face yeah we
got a nice mug thanks
uh but yeah yeah good for you because that's what I don't like about acting is
you have no control you
have no input you know they just tell you do what they say to say on the paper
you literally have a
mark go to that yeah yeah literally stand there where they say so so but some
depends on the project
there's been some projects where they give you some wiggle room to improv and
that's always when like
the best shit happens is when you're letting it fly and I agree so so in this
movie though the sweet
east I was very much I had to stick to the script this guy Nick Pinkerton wrote
it who's a very famous
New York film critic that all the cinephiles know and he was a super
intellectual intelligent guy when
I read my lines I had to google like every other words I didn't know what the
fuck it meant he was
so smart he's a film critic he's a film critic who wrote this movie that's so
it's insane yeah and
it's that's kind of ballsy because now if you want to go back to criticism hey
they're like well your
movie might have sucked it's like a Jew playing a Nazi Roger Ebert wrote Beyond
the Valley of the
Dolls really is that right whoa Ebert was a great writer true I mean he really
read his reviews are
incredibly well if this guy gets trashed you're like hey welcome to the club so
anyway the Talia
writer who you're looking at right there she's the lead she's a great uh
awesome young actor and uh
so this one was very much I had to stick to the script not a lot of wiggle room
but it's okay it
worked for this movie but then the movie you're talking about in Charlotte I
did it's called
Operation Taco Gary's and it's coming out um don't know when we just saw the
first cut it's so funny
it basically we wanted to do a throwback comedy because I'm sure you guys 