Name: Ep 155: Eddie Pepitone
Uploaded: 2023-11-27T02:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 155: Eddie Pepitone' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 155: Eddie Pepitone' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-27. Transcript available.

Ep 155: Eddie Pepitone

All right, should we go? Yeah. Is this video too? Yeah. Oh, I have a beautiful
hat. There we go. No, I do. It makes me look like, whoa, you know, hey guys. He's
the head of the bowling league.
Well, we're just talking. We've got the hilarious Eddie Pepitone here. Yeah, we're
just talking. I never do NPR. I never get booked for NPR when I'm promoting a
special, but I'm producing, first special I've ever produced, Dina Hashem's
special for Amazon. Really? She's hilarious. It's a great special. Can I ask
you a question? And hi, Eddie Pepitone. What does that mean to produce a
special? Seriously. It just means I help try to sell it.
It doesn't, I mean. He doesn't really, that's producers, yeah. Or like, you
know, I mean, I watched it and I was like, I'd cut this, I'd cut, but like, but
I said, it's your special and you make it work. Right, so you're going to help
try to sell it. Yeah, no, it's on Amazon now. It's out now. Oh, okay. Man, he
should produce yours. Well, you had one, wasn't the last one on Amazon? The
last one, yes. That was hilarious, by the way. That was a great special. Killer.
Which one? The last one you put out. Yes, it was called For the Masses.
That was a great special. I mean, it was, uh. Thank you. I still remember, I
mean, a lot of the fucking bits. Uh, the one about the, it was like the femdom
porn or something, some really dark bit.
Like, now femdom porn, that's your thing? Oh. No, but I know I've seen it. It
was like, it was like domination porn. You said something crazy in one of the
bits. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get a lot of mileage out of bondage pornography. That's what it was. That's a
great sentence.
No, uh. It's hard to watch it in LA because the sun is blaring. Oh, oh, yeah.
Fucking time. Hard to jerk in the sun.
It's just, it's a mental thing. It is. It's like you're watching people in hoods.
They're hung from hooks.
And outside, it's just beautiful. It's just birds. Right, right. People jogging.
And you're like, what am I doing?
What am I doing indeed, Mark? Yeah, but we, we're road comics, so that hotel
midday jerk is kind of nice.
The amount I jerk off on the road is, it's like. Is it insane? I'm like, what
is this, vacation?
Go on Zoloft. You'll never jerk off again. Oh, really? I heard you can't finish.
It sucks. Yeah, it sucks.
The finish is really difficult on Zoloft, you know? It's a bummer. I mean, I
think we were raised as men.
Oh, it's great that you don't come early. Right. Right? Because I used to come
just, you know,
on the phone call with, trying to be funny. Didn't work. But, yeah, this one,
it's tough. It's tough to finish.
Really? Even with a pretty hooker? But even with a hot lady, it's tough?
Yeah, it gets a little, you know what's so funny? It gets a little pressurized
the other way.
Like, instead of, like, you're thinking of baseball to try not to come.
Yeah. The famous Woody Allen bit, if you remember. Sure. Great bit.
Where he's like. Just don't think of Derek Jeter. What's that?
Fucking hot guy. Don't think of Derek Jeter, is what I said.
You might come. But he is a Yankee. All right.
If you heard of the bit, you heard of the bit, and boy, Woody Allen, it's touchy
now.
But anyway, he goes. He was touchy then.
We're hot tonight. We're hot tonight.
He was like, so I'm thinking of baseball to try not to come.
And he goes, so McCovey's up.
This is all in his head.
McCovey, base hit, base hit.
I pull a hit and run.
It works. Lanier gets another base hit.
I got first and third. She's already in the shower.
That was the punchline, is that he's so into the baseball.
His old stand-up was, it still holds up.
You know, comedy doesn't age well. It still is great.
It does. It's not topical.
It's just evergreen shit.
Yes, he's got that great one.
Silly shit.
My wife tells me I'm immature.
I was in the bath the other day.
She came in and sunk my boats.
You know, he's got a million of them.
I mean, Bullets Over Broadway, to me, is his funniest movie.
That movie just kills me, dude.
Me?
What's your favorite line in that movie?
I got one.
I love when she's narrating Diane Weiss, when she walks in.
Don't talk.
That's one of them.
Don't talk.
But I love when they say, you know, she said, Helen Sinclair arrived late, but
she had a good excuse.
And she goes, my pedicurist had a stroke.
She landed right on my feet.
They required bandaging.
That's a great fucking joke.
That's like multiple jokes.
He really, like Mel Brooks, who's also like a legend.
Sure.
You know, by the way, this podcast, this episode should be called The Celebration
of Woody Allen.
Cosby next.
But Mel Brooks is the same way.
They go for joke jokes.
Yes.
In their shit.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
God.
I remember being shot, even as a kid, just like watching and being like, holy
shit.
I cannot believe they're saying.
Were you a prudish kid?
No.
I'm kidding.
It's just like, they didn't make movies like that.
You're like, this is insane.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The N-word is said 800 times.
That's true.
And they cut a lot of shit.
I heard them on Fresh Air talking about another NPR reference.
Really NPR-ing up a storm today.
NPR?
I was so happy to be on anything NPR when I was doing Dina's thing because my
itinerary, when I have a special coming out, it's like, bar stool, bar stool.
It's like, not a lot of NPR in there, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, bar stool sports?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, cool.
No, I don't know anything.
Bart, you know, you're a big Knick fan.
I know that.
Are you a sports guy?
You're a New York guy, too.
I'm a big, I was at the Ranger game last night.
Hey!
I love hockey and football and baseball, but the Knicks were so bad for so long,
dude.
I just lost.
Are they good now?
They're good.
Okay.
They made the second round of the playoffs last year.
They're solid.
We'll see.
They're a disappointment every fucking year.
I got the Saints.
They're all disappointment.
You know, they're like the Southern Bills.
Yeah.
Both teams are pretty good.
Well, the Bills are pretty good.
The Bills are pretty good this year.
But I like boxing and UFC.
You what?
I like boxing and you.
I prefer more of an individual, like a tennis.
You like one-on-one.
I like one-on-one.
You're like Christopher Lloyd in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest when Nicholson
was
strangling Big Nurse.
Do you remember that?
Yeah, yeah.
And Christopher Lloyd was just going to fucking kill him.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Fucking kill him.
He's like Martini.
You're right.
That's a great scene with Nurse Ratched.
And he's trying to kill her.
Yeah, and Christopher Lloyd.
Christopher Lloyd, because he liked, like you, the one-on-one combat.
And a Martini, how great would it be if Danny DeVito was, and he's a corporate
whore, how
great would it be if he was shilling for Jersey Mike's as Martini?
As Martini.
Like in a hospital gallery.
Oh, he's good.
He's good.
You know what annoys me so much is there's these, and I watch them all.
I'm a fucking whore for these things.
But they have those Instagram, TikTok people who are just like in their car
trying sandwiches
and stuff.
Oh, that's gotten big.
Huge.
It's gotten big.
Dude, like literally whatever joke we post, you know, doesn't even touch them,
you know,
putting dresses on the fucking-
I know.
What the fuck is that?
The guy's going like, this is perfect.
He's eating fucking Jersey Mike's.
Oh.
No, he's not.
He thinks he's a fucking, you know.
Connoisseur.
Yeah.
He's talking about it like it's like fine dining, you know, and he's like, he's
like,
dude, there's an Italian guy who's great.
Yeah.
Do you know who I'm talking about?
Oh, Meal by Cougs.
What's his name?
Cougs.
That skinny guy.
He looks unhealthy as shit.
Cougs?
Where he's just like, I fucked your sister the whole time.
That guy.
Oh, no, no.
This guy goes, here we are at Tertullio's.
The best, and you believe him because of the passion behind it, the best
fucking roast
beef sandwich, and he eats it, and it's just like, okay, and while I'm watching
this from
LA going, I'm going to go to Tertullio's as soon as I get back to New, you know
what
I mean?
Well, I think we got Guy Fieri to thank for this.
You know, you make fun of diners, drive-ins, and dives.
I watch it every time it's on.
Do you?
It's just great to put in the background.
Like, it's not good, but he's just like, this is a fucking sandwich.
I'm like, that's the energy I need when I'm in Des Moines, you know?
Yeah, I guess that's what it is.
Is this Nico?
Is that the New York Nico guy?
Oh, that's the dude.
That's the dude.
His name's Mule by Coug.
What's it called?
Mule by Coug.
Coug.
I think it was Cougine, which is Italian for cousin or Sicilian.
This fucking guy.
Why in the car?
This guy's going to die at 37, though.
Do you see him?
Every fucking thing.
He's like, he's a little more provolone.
I'm like, dude, you're going to fucking die.
It's just great.
Come on.
He seems so authentic to me.
Yeah.
That's fun.
But check him out.
He's like, he's wearing, no, but now he's wearing these nice glasses, which,
and he's got this
trimmed shit.
Like, he's obviously making some money now, right?
That's not cool.
How many views you got up on this puppy?
Yeah.
How many?
I don't know.
This feels like a...
Look at how many comments.
Wow.
This is a ripoff, though.
This is in the guy's actual page, I don't think.
Oh, maybe, yeah.
What?
How do you know?
No, I don't think so.
Oh, yeah, maybe you're right.
Meals by Coug.
Twitter's not where they should try to pick us.
2.6 million followers for trying sandwiches.
Now, by the way, does it ever get you down, like, that this shit, right, does
so much traffic
and just about the mediocrity of people in general, like, what they're
attracted to?
What do you think, Mark?
You're more of a people person than I am, and I think so is Sam, because Sam is
like,
oh, you know, it's great.
It's good energy.
I go with the negative.
No, I come at it.
I come at it from...
That's what we love about you.
No, that's your thing.
Right.
We got good energy on your bad energy.
That's right.
You're getting yang.
But I don't think it's healthy for me, ultimately.
No, you're clearly healthy.
All right.
But no, I mean, I'm just...
I think it's great.
The hat helps.
But you've got to have your voice, you know?
That's you.
You're authentic.
Yeah, yeah.
I just, later in life, I've been like, wow, I'm going to die soon, you know?
I don't know how soon.
No, no.
I'll make it through this pocket.
You're going to make it way longer than that kid.
That kid's fucking total.
That's true.
They bashed.
This is your role, how to get bashed.
All the speeches of the funeral, like, he wouldn't have wanted me to eat this
sandwich while I gave this speech.
Oh, that's fucking...
That's a semolina roll right there.
That's fucking...
That's for you, buddy.
Pour out a little Diet Coke on his grave.
D.C.
Diet Coke.
Man, are you into that shit?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's addictive.
But you can't blame him.
You've got to blame the masses.
Because he's just seeing what works and giving them what they want.
Who?
The sandwich kid.
Right, right.
But it's just, to me, depressing that the worst shit, I mean, that's not the
worst, but just people flock to bullshit.
Oh, yeah.
Nothing highbrow.
No.
Like, I would love to do a YouTube channel where I'm just talking about, let's
say, Rembrandt, but, like, just little facts that people don't know about Rembrandt.
Like, just make them up, too, that Rembrandt had a deviated septum.
Whatever.
I couldn't get it up.
Yeah.
I don't know.
That would draw people.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
I'd be like, you know what kind of pencil he used?
It wasn't a number two.
It was 2.1.
I don't know.
It's like a boring Bob Ross, you know?
Yeah.
A boring Bob Ross.
Yeah.
Turned out he was a big pussy hound.
Is that right?
Bob Ross got a lot of pussy hound.
He had a sex appeal.
He had the hair coming out of the shirt.
He had a full fro denim.
Apparently, he was a drill sergeant in the Army.
Whoa.
No.
Yes.
And he was so sick of yelling.
He was like, I'm never doing that again.
Is that what happened?
Is 