Name: Ep 156: Tim Dillon
Uploaded: 2023-12-04T02:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 156: Tim Dillon' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 156: Tim Dillon' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-04. Transcript available.

Ep 156: Tim Dillon

let's open with that no no don't open with that you heard that rose bud yes
thank you for having
me thanks for doing it man good to have you love to love being i know you're a
busy guy
not really but uh well it's a you know i i you work a lot and then there's a
lot of hours of
not working yeah yeah that's you know that's what we all do i think that's
ideal that's how i like
it i like to go hard and then just really veg out right get a whataburger and a
and a nice steak
that's right you eat high end we do we do well uh we do decently well we were
at the stand last night
a lot of hospitality there oh my god the food they put everything out for us
you know
uh my agent is also a man of size and um justin yes and he got fatter he's big
and then the owner
i remember we were all free agents at the same time yes i remember that we were
all agentless and
and i remember taking a walk with him and he was not big then no it covid uh
really brought out
people's passions whether it's fentanyl or pizza right i like dressing dogs
yeah whatever you were
into just during covid it really went nuclear and i think he's having some
success some guys get a nice
suit and a car some guys get fatter he's doing great he's got a hot wife really
yes wife's gorgeous
i don't believe it i believe i'm telling you uh pull her up
and uh he's doing good his people are doing good um uh you know and and i think
so i think he's a
you know happy man and chris was very nice to send everything out and i mean
you should have pizza
i was crazy we're calling comics over just please these open micers they haven't
eaten in weeks it
was like hauswitz
they all left they were like thank you yeah it was great you don't matter how
many kids or not kids
but younger comics text me like that was amazing yeah hanging out with you guys
it was nice no it was
fun that's what the festival's about is like people just hanging out and yeah
they used to do that
big caroline's party the uh where they do the free food and everything oh it
was a big party i
want to talk about someone who looks great by the way is caroline she looks
still so would you
still feel amazing gilf alert yeah yeah yes i saw her out east gotta be late 60s
she's looks stunning
stunning that's ridiculous she looks great wow yeah she's like a safira she was
at my show on
saturday and i was like who is that hot whether they are women or men will they
all like look kind
of like patrick milligan whether they're women or men they just kind of mold
into that eventually it's
their final form right yes their final form they just get there it might take a
while this
but they get there eventually and caroline just looks like uh like just a hot
yeah well she was
smart enough to close it yeah you know she's like i'm done with this shithole
and i'm done with that
what was that gay guy who had the little dog lou ferranda yes i thought you
were setting me up
here uh yeah lou ferranda was a fucking class literally would walk up to every
within earshot
every comic you're the best comic in town kid yeah i'd see him walk up to joe mackie
you kid you're number one every go up to a homeless guy outside you got the
goods my friend
it would just blow smoke but i i needed that energy at that time two years ago
um we were thinking of
doing the apollo theater by the way in the height of like the george me and it
was like the worst
idea like my agent called me goes how about this because he probably wanted to
have chicken waffle
so he goes how about this we have the apollo theater on hold for the festival i
go oh man this
doesn't seem yeah like a great idea right like it seems like the worst idea
ever sure it's like me
in the apollo theater i think in like 2021 oh it was just like and i think lewis
veranda to his credit
was like we're not doing that he's like we're not doing that at all that's the
real problem
he's doing yeah he's doing the iron dome
we're getting a lot of mileage out of that one have you done comedy in israel i
was supposed to do it in
april oh i know i'm still going i got a good feeling it'll be good by april
come on you're in
it's winding down it's coming down yeah you're fine i just go by uh tweets so i
don't know what's
happening on the ground it's even worse it's hard to sustain you can't sustain
remember ukraine
oh like in the beginning you know they're singing snl there's folk songs and
people are like you can't
i mean i really thought uh hillary doing hallelujah that was going to turn it
oh yeah
that was that was fucking brutal i love i love leonard cohen i'm like this is
how you honor him
i thought it was the last i thought it was the last thing of that and i i
thought i was totally
okay with it i'm like oh it's a postmortem okay and then you woke up the next
day and it was like
more of it yeah and they're like no it's hallelujah forever you're like no no
no we have to i know
i thought what pete did was fine i was like that's like a sincere moment that's
like a tough
monologue that week that was good but i hard yeah it's hard but uh and he does
have experience
you know with the whole thing he does it's a tough you know it's a tough thing
to go out there that
week and go hey but remember the old snl remember after 9 11 happened rudy giuliani
hosted he was
like what did he say can we be funny or no lord he's like why start now oh yes
that was funny
but he used to dress in drag yeah on snl didn't he do a bit in drag giuliani
rudy rudy i'm almost
positive with trump pull it up trump i mean this is how crazy the country's got
now where you know
that was funny back then everybody was laughing yeah yeah and now it's all splintered
you know yeah
very 2003 osama bin laden hosted that was hilarious it was great he was good he
was a good host he bombed
all right that's a very different speech but i mean it's just a fun did i ever
tell you that i went to
i went to like a summer camp with rudy giuliani's uh son when i was like uh he
tried to kill me he
tried to drown me it was really yeah we were like kind of cool for like the
first few minutes and then
i think i called him fat or something i said something shitty sure and he and
he held my head
underwater he could like he was a strong kid look him up listen to me that's
you're just explaining
israel and palestine you know what i mean it's like you were both in the wrong
he had a little
size on you but everybody kind of learned their lesson right he had the
american government on his
side yeah yeah he had a couple more billion you know i had these eyebrows yeah
for sure it was
complicated but there's andrew giuliani and i believe chris farley played andrew
giuliani yes
yes killed it really yes it's fucking hilarious andrew giuliani's a typical
sociopath politician's
son right like if you see the eyes like there's eyes that you just can't god
farley was fucking
oh man kevin neil and unbelievable cast it was amazing it was a hot show
remember you look forward
to this you ran home a braver better future he looks like andy rooney in
breakfast at tiffany's
i guess andy rooney is joining me here today
i was the law and order candidate but today i am the people's mayor when my
grandfather came here
with 20 dollars in his pocket he dreamed of life would be better i mean it's
one joke and he's playing
he's amazing he's committing dude when he does newt gingrich yeah he goes to
the uh congress
and and farley does newt gingrich in front of newt gingrich and all the it's
amazing yeah i've never
seen that yeah he does newt gingrich in the capital rotunda it's crazy and it's
just like you have
everybody there i have seen this it's great yeah it's amazing it's just like he
just oozes funny
he can't just oozes funny like whatever he does wherever he goes even even his
movies that missed are
still funny oh yeah almost heroes is a funny movie yeah beverly ninja yeah
beverly ninjas look at this
this is already funny i'm dying it's amazing the white hair yeah it's so fat it's
great
newt newt newt newt imagine killing there there that's the hardest room in the
world there's no
harder we play the danger field for reagan bit oh i mean just annihilate him
and it's like it's kind
of amazing it's amazing what a hell gig this is great look at newt front and
center i'm reading a few
new books right now uh you might want to be interested uh got any of the skills
chances
great new book and uh jackie collins husband to hollywood husbands very
interesting book they're all
standing it's great my new dinosaur book so uh see you could never do this now
with biden they wouldn't
let you do it which is which is sad let us be funny c-spin and of course my
friends at pbs
also for those of you watching the uh net open your text i think he starts like
passing legislation
yeah oh fun they have a great there's a clip of uh arty lang describing what it
was like to roast
donald trump and it's yeah arty lang it was on seth myers i think but he's just
talking about he's
like you know we're roasting him and and and we're talking about it and howard
stern and and trump
is like you're you were the best you had the set of the night and then arty
tells one of the jokes
and he goes he bombed he's terrible he bombed he wasn't funny perfect he just
can't he just can't
handle it at all it's just yeah yeah now it would be tough to to roast like to
get everybody together
oh yeah and really like i guess the white house correspondence there's the
closest thing
but like you know even then that seems to be on eggshells more oh yeah right
you got to play ball
like that was the republican committee right your agent would go don't it's
republican right don't do it
but it's still a cool funny thing but it's your country i think it's i mean the
way norm used to do
it the way colbert did it back yes yeah i mean they it's it's cool to to find a
you know way to bring
it together i don't know yeah funny that's what comedy is and that's when you
see it in its purest
form like that where it just it leaves a comedy club leaves a theater and it's
just raw in the world
right yeah and you put it in the world like uso tours are amazing because you're
like you're in front of
like servicemen who are like desperate for entertainment they're out there they're
they're
some of their friends are dying it's like an amazing environment and you're
bringing them entertainment
you know and and everyone talks about how great those shows are everybody i've
never done them but
everyone goes like they're amazing shows everything like that and it's amazing
anything political
no one ever says that like nobody's ever like this is gonna be great right this
will be so much
fun it's at the bethesda country club in maryland no you're gonna love it no
you'll love it it's
it's the teachers union and you are gonna it's people who need comedy versus
people who are
inconvenienced by your presence that's right that's what i remember i did i did
a wounded warriors thing
on a new year's one year and it was the best new year's gig i've ever done they
laugh at everything
yeah atel is really like the master of those gigs because he just knows he's
like nothing political
just dick jokes yeah silly you know make everybody laugh i bombed a hard at one
of those and i was like
this crowd's ungettable they're the way out in hamptons country club super rich
they hated me
voss went up after me and i was like good luck they're worthless he gets on the
stool and he's like
what's wrong with your face to some lady and it's murdering yeah and he just
keeps hammering them
you look at you you got your money you're only blowing him because he's rich
all this and it was
gold and i was like all right yeah that that was a lesson it's like when a
street fighter just like
knocks out a boxer yeah that's boss he's fucking he's just so good quinn called
him the master of
the counter punch that's what he is you barbara bush looking cunt you know just
spitting everywhere
killing no it's i've seen him we did i opened for him he did an a.a. special
which has still