Name: Ep 164: Brad Williams & Gold Rush
Uploaded: 2024-01-29T02:00:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 164: Brad Williams & Gold Rush' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 164: Brad Williams & Gold Rush' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-29. Transcript available.

Ep 164: Brad Williams & Gold Rush

hey hey we might be drunk folks happy january are we in january we're in january
all right
man this is this was a little nasty new york day oh man the snow last night was
beautiful i woke up
and i went outside it's all sludge it's like a hangover yes it's the snow hangover
the sludge
perfect yeah i'm watching my cat on the windowsill the snow is falling with a
street light it's
beautiful then you go out today and it's just it's just fucking jizz and miscarriage
and placenta
i stepped into placenta it was gross i mean it's disgusting
gotta get the boots oh i think i thought the fart was coming later later yeah
yeah but that sludge
is no joke you gotta either stick or don't stick you can't be in the middle i
think the salt's
fucking it up i kind of love it i mean when i haven't broke out snowshoes and
like
i think i wore them all last year oh they're fun yeah well the warming the
global warming we had a
fun moment last time being the cues did uh the comedy dojo and i'm on stage and
i hear beep beep
beep beep like from outside smoke alarm no tow truck and i go we parked in a
handicap
and there's only one spot left in the whole club yeah and he's you know we
arrived late and the only
spot left was handicapped so we took it oh yeah twice until i see this guy beeline
out the fucking
door to get the to stop the tow truck guy turns out it was a salt truck oh but
i'm a southern queef i
don't know anything about salt that's like my old bit remember that joke how
was it having sex it's
like uh finding a parking spot for a guy for a woman buying a car oh yeah yeah
there's a spot
there's another spot oh i have to pay never mind yeah that's a great joke
handicapped hope no one
sees this old school that's a great joke i gotta tell you i went to community
college for a stint
not bragging and uh there was a down syndrome gal who was kind of hot yeah she
had huge cans huge
you know retarded jugs and i gotta tell you the guys were all over really i
couldn't do it did they
hook up with her i don't know but they were pretty touchy-feely in the back
back row
what the hell she was cute i mean she had a killer body she you know she would
eat anything
if you put anything in front of her she'd put it in her mouth so i mean it was
a shoo-in you talk
about her like i talk about winnie who's got peanut butter yeah yeah that's uh
this is the down
syndrome victoria that was a big story for a while is it okay is the question
that's the question
i think it's like a spectrum probably right i mean oh true is it full downs or
is it partially downs
yeah i think you have to be the judge i don't know i mean look i could be wrong
in this i'm just
you know well she would say i want to be treated like an equal maybe did she
say that that's i have
it in writing you wrote it she signed it it was in a crayon but yeah all right
do you have a victoria
secret downs joe i do i just said i'd go downs on her you know easy quick in
and out something else
like that too it was like uh fuck i don't remember it was it was a barbie down
syndrome one day i had
something too i don't remember yeah uh what i like about win is uh she's up she's
like alert she could
just sit down and enjoy the day but she's like up on her feet in case anything
goes down she's usually
asleep i think i think she'll pass out in a minute it's a lot of stimulus in
here she's like one of us
she's up she's up for now but right right she'll pass out she sees the mic she's
got to be on
also salakius looks like a bulldog so you never know if uh she's threatened uh
i didn't bring it up
yet but uh what happened with your nfl memes thing oh it's pretty outrageous
pretty egregious well
they all do that all those memes people did that i was just you know i had a
couple of me i was like
let me tweet yeah but yeah no so people tagged me so i was like oh i knew they
did it but it looked
the the jerry jones thing a bunch of people could have come up with it's fine
but but they know but
i was the first to post it i think that's why it went so hard got like 15k retweet
or maybe more i
don't know but oh look at that that's the chicken parm you always look me up
wrong because i feel like
it's always on x are you sure and this is uh uh no it's you no that's me but i
feel like this
happened last time yeah i stink that one's got 10k what oh that's a will smith
joke wait i don't
like all 2022 i don't know how to do this wait you're looking that's what i
said he doesn't know
what the hell i'm confused samrill x there it is boom try twitter maybe you got
a uh a fraudulent
account no that's me i think that was my face same link all right well this is
good pod yeah never
mind all right well either way but what's cool about the stealing now is if you
call it out
then you get you get some you get a little blow up from just calling it out
well yeah i i uh i posted
it like months ago everyone tagged me in it because i i wrote uh yeah dude what
the fuck is i don't get
boy this is uh oh boy you might have to edit this out um yeah well i i tweeted
something months ago it was
that fucking agent you'll you can tag it in probably the guy uh maybe you can't
i don't know the chicken
parm or three oh yeah three veal parms we walk which that's pretty specific veal
parms and then he did
the same thing but added capiche ah so i got tagged in it and then i i posted
another one uh yeah it's a
whatever but it got a lot of posts because it was quick yeah and then the jerry
jones one was uh what
was it uh civil rights oh yeah he hasn't been this upset since uh since the
civil rights act and then
uh that went pretty hard and then he posted the exact like it's same wording
too so i'm like dude
you know you know i guess like brown versus board if he did something slightly
different i'll give it
to you but like it was the same wording again so uh i just posted like both of
them side by side
and he was like all you had to do was say he dm'd me all you had to do was say
something
and i would have i tagged you i tagged you but it's like that way they tag you
where no one can see
it yes exactly you know so i was like i'm not responding this dweeb he knows
but like i've
no respect for these people they're just fucking you know they just joke they're
like curators
they're not even they're not like right but what bugs me is that they want
credit for being witty
yes they don't if they just posted other like tank sinatra is a good one
because he'll post his own
shit his creative stuff or and then if he posts your shit he'll give you credit
yes so like that's fine
right but i just bugs me the fact that they're like they want it all they want
it you don't want to do
any of the work but you want all the like wow you're so clever yeah you're not
you're you poach
yes they poach and they still want the pat on the back it's bullshit so i just
i look i don't really
care but i just i'll trash them every once in a while i'll be like you're a
fucking loser and then
it come at you all you had to do is talk to me or whatever it's like all you
had to do is not steal
my shit and also they've heard it they know that they know what they're doing
is is uh shady you just
heard on the cat williams podcast you don't steal yes stop stealing jokes well
you know what makes
me sleep better at night is like the fat jew where's he now you know i he was
the biggest
thing he was at uncut gems he was all over the place i'll tell you where he is
he got a fucking
rose made and we can't get distribution for bodega cat what the fuck is going
wrong wrong in the world
mark what the hell i didn't know he had a rose he has white girl rose oh that's
him don't buy that
shit that guy stinks he stinks but i feel like i don't uh i don't hear about
him anymore and i think
that's that's that's how the dog comes out in the wash baby yeah the fat jew
ah you turncoat piece of garbage you fucking i can't you can't find a tweet you
fucking
photograph from the fat jew you stink salacuse benedict look she's out she's
down now hey hey
there we go all right glad you got comfortable this is how is this charming i
shot this is a stop
rose but like yeah what's the yeah stop it's charming look at this fucking
clown and it's like too
much the covering the balls and we're giving him too much shine here enough's
enough buffalo sauce
bill hey guy stinks all right that guy's gonna steal that and go buffalo sauce
billy
what what the hell yeah yeah so i was just also i was in like kind of a mood
because like look we
did six shows at the punchline philly i i had a great time because look i love
philly crowds but
like it was it was the the ceilings are so high in the club that it was kind of
tough to like get
momentum so i'd get off stage you ever get off stage and you're just like mad
at yourself
sure in a way where like you just start stuffing your face with the green room
candy yes not like
like alcohol won't even fill the hole you need to like be a child again yeah
well you better take
it easy you're gonna be the fat jew keep eating those snickers but yeah no i'm
with you i've been
there the stress eating and then there's a stress drinking that's also bad you
know speaking of stress
drinking i sent you what they have in the green room poster shit this is pretty
cool they have a
keurig it's a keurig but for liquor so they have like gin rum everything look
at that i'm making a
bodega cat sidecar you put in a pod for the mixer and then you isn't that crazy
how'd it taste it was
pretty fucking good oh my god if you get that and a sex robot you're getting
fucked and a cocktail made
for you i say we combine the two yeah let's get two and one yeah my only
critique on this is like
it's cool for like a party probably yeah but then you like you want one that
can make it's kind of slow
kind of slow yeah kind of like that girl you wanted to fuck
also you do i mean let's be honest you miss this what's that oh yeah how was
that bj oh pretty good
you know you get a little mixology the guy with the mustache the suspenders i
like i like when you're
making the drinks i agree and i like i like making a drink and that's kind of
and i i have in my rider
they have to have vermouth bodega cat and bitters i make a fucking i like
making a drink backstage
but also like even with my coffee i like to like the coming about the keurig
just
it doesn't do it soulless it's cool it's i enjoyed it but it is and also it's
shitty it's bad for the
environment true the pods will get you yeah it's sex with a prostitute it's
like you're getting there
but it's a sex robot a prostitute will still get you there that's true she's
got a history she smells
a certain way there's an accent usually eastern block but uh yeah this is the
prostitute's still
got a personality that's true she's been through some shit and as comedians i
relate to them yeah
i just think like the keurig just tastes like shit anyone i've had people be
like it's good coffee i'm
like you fucking i mean like i'll drink it like we have it here i'll drink it
here but like i want
to i want to make my own coffee i like when i got that grind and brew uh thing
at home oh yeah
the beans use that no i gotta get that gotta get that ari's got that fucking beaker
thing you know
where you swirl it's called a nose is it a nose
you're hot today baby yeah ari's got that honker or whatever that thing is that
you know the beaker
that swirls around then he pours it out it's really good is that like not a
french press is it no no
give this a gook it's like high-end coffee pretentious shit but man is the
coffee strong
as hell i miss ari i haven't seen him for fucking ever yeah do you only do you
see him outside of
the rogan stuff or no well he's in the tunnels so i don't know what he's up to
uh no i he's around
he's doing adrian iapalucci specials so he texted me the other day we had a
phone call
but he's around he's doing the road me the other day but i just don't i don't
see him that much is
what i'm saying that's the one that that that one with that weird um my god
ye