Name: Ep 165: Godfrey & Hot Toddys
Uploaded: 2024-02-05T02:00:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 165: Godfrey & Hot Toddys' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 165: Godfrey & Hot Toddys' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-05. Transcript available.

Ep 165: Godfrey & Hot Toddys

hey here we are folks we might be drunk we're here we're back what are you
cooking up there
fatty well you know what i i was making hot toddies over the weekend on my gig
and uh
they're kind of nice aren't they yeah you got the thermos and everything this
is the real
this is our producer matt peters who and this isn't water this is his tears
from the buffalo
bills last night oh shit i'm sorry buddy i'll get him next year that was a
tough loss i was rooting
for you guys i know i i thought you had it and you you had all the jews clear
out the snow they dug it
out and you still lost why it strikes again weren't they weren't they
sacrificing a person to that pit
every week oh that was funny yeah you have a pit they have like a 20 foot pit
and someone fell in
what pull it up they're digging a new stadium are you on mike yeah okay good
yeah yeah they're doing
a new stadium so there was a pit and someone fell in and they won what like six
straight games
really yeah he went to the hospital someone's going to the hospital they're
like sacrificing him
hey good luck's good luck sports and religion have more in common than you
think
meet on sunday yeah die hard uniform uniform uh hit your wife women get fucked
some men and a naked naked males yeah that's something there a lot of fighting
the opposing thought
right they're on the other team see jason kelsey before the game yeah that guys
i mean you can't
not love that guy pulled a full burt kreischer yeah he looked like he looked
like burt yeah which i
think a compliment to burt at this point that's true yeah that's true but jason
kelsey is like
do you know how likable you have to be to have like everyone in football like
you yeah i mean it's
like look at that i mean look at this dude you gotta love this is why twitter i
know everybody shits on x but
during a sports game there's nothing better the whole country's coming together
making memes making
jokes putting videos together it's great i don't get half of it and i watch
your stuff and you're
blowing up with the with the sports tweets i just you just gotta be timely yeah
but uh but man uh it's
pretty fun it's uh football is great it's just fucking it's fun the playoffs in
any sport just get me
going but uh oh back to the religion thing the only difference is you can't
switch teams like you
can't be a fair weather you can't people do switch really i guess you can give
no respect right right
you know you're like ah the muslims are losing this year i'm going christian
jews are having a bad
year you're like going islam yeah there's something there fair control the
weather fan
manuka honey for it too manuka i got this at customs in australia really yeah
they're off duty or whatever
oh uh duty free off duty the hell is wrong with me what is duty free i've
walked through it i never get it
oh and you can bring it on although they fuck you if you want to if you're
connecting they fuck you you
have to that's an issue you have to pay the tax no you are yeah ah those
bastards always something
all right is this all it is is water honey and booze yeah oh i didn't know that
yeah buddy i thought
some people do with the tea bags that's kind of weird to me and it hurts the
nuts
it's amazing that whiskey used to be like a medicine like you used to go buy
booze man i got
post-nasal drip right now this time of year i feel like dog shit always like
don't you
ah i'm okay i'm on my knocks but it's funny like when you were a baby am i a
mouse
you're fival uh back in the day they put uh you know a kid had a toothache they
put a little whiskey
on it yeah it's a bad doctor yeah yeah or a good friend
yeah this is good stuff cheers and some with the mug you feel like you're uh
you know a lady on
after divorce he hit me well the bill's lost oh can i run a bit idea by you oh
we're going right in
huh i was thinking about this you'd never hear like sometimes when a woman is
accused of sexual
assault especially uh not uh i mean she accused a man of sexual assault right a
woman accuses a man
of sexual assault and it's high profile people will comment on her appearance
like he is he raped her
ah and it's like that how fucked up is that that this person might have been
sexually assaulted and
now they're calling her ugly too right and saying by the way you never hear it
the other way it's
never like oh he raped her a nice selection oh i like that never hear that
right i like it i don't
know that's good maybe something it's so true all right i got one now okay we
were just in ohio
doing it doing some shooting and every neighborhood i go to now all over the
country they're like five
years ago this was all gang shooting crime you couldn't come in here and then
the gays came in
now it's gentrified and i'm like the gays are just quietly fixing up all these
shitty neighborhoods
and not getting any credit we should be parachuting them into detroit and uh
like flint and lower
l.a the bronx you know uh then i got a couple tags like forget maga how about fagga
all right
okay what about queer eye for the south side of chicago that's funny i like
that yeah that's good
it's coming along yeah man that's from that's all from columbus columbus is
yeah that's good all of
ohio is you know i mean dayton is i think gotten a little rough right dayton
and toledo are tough
yeah tough towns but cleveland's trying and columbus the size of cleveland and
cincinnati combined
really yeah yeah it's a bigger city for sure capital great town thanks for
coming i always have a good
time in cleveland though i like cleveland i do too good chinese food good jewish
deli
slimans oh yeah oh we ate so much meat on this trip what were you eating the
corned beef and all
that stuff schlitzes or schlotzies or it was just schmitz schmitz straight
sausages german food
bratwurst all that stuff schnitzel heavy duty so good kills a hangover and you
get a big beer too
one of those we got the mug we got the what do you call it growler boot boot
there you go i got a
boot on my car i got i had some other bit i want to run by you let me see i
feel bad
i repeated one last week and it got me fucking oh yeah all right all right is
there something
i believe a woman's body is her choice but you ever date someone and they get a
new haircut without
consulting you it does feel kind of rude right like it's like terminating a
pregnancy is one thing
but bangs oh all right i like that and then the other angle is like a girl i'm
dating she sent me a
picture of uh the haircut she's getting but it was on charlize theron oh that's
great i'm like well
that's not that's great i mean you're pretty but that's not fair yeah i'm
trying on a bathing suit i'm
not i'm not sending you a pic of channing tatum wearing it i'm like in this
bathing suit i have abs
right well it's like those you buy boxers and the guy on the fucking front
looks like you know
uh helmsworth and you're like what are you doing to me yeah i don't look like
that right right but
that's what i was against these plus size models but i'm like yeah i'm like i
could look better than
that ah true she looks that good and you feel better about yourself in this
joke but uh
but i think you got something there yeah something there you know it's like hey
i'm getting four
wheel drive and you show your friend a photo of like a rolls royce and you're
like you have a
a focus you know come on yeah man yeah i got i got a peeve i'm please hit me
with a peeve
hold on if you did two bits i'm doing another bit all right maybe we'll do bits
at the end again too
my friend is uh he's always like sex worker come on sex worker these are hookers
what are we doing
here i love hookers but i'm not calling them sex workers i'm like you should be
embracing this
because you've been called a creep and a sicko your whole life now it's legitimized
yeah it's a time where like being anti-pc isn't doing you any favors exactly
yeah yeah now you're
helping small business you know now you're an ally before you were a creep yeah
um yeah exactly
and it sounds i i help the sex worker that sounds better than i fuck the prostitute
that's a great
point great point yeah you're keeping these women afloat you're a benefactor a
boner factor all right
it is weird how you read these stories about some of these only fans people and
they you know they're
like i used to be a teacher making like 40 grand a year and i made a million
dollars on only fans last
year and you're like yeah i mean schools can't really compete with you showing
your pussy i guess
that's like you know what we need is a class to teach only fans yeah you know
women will come in
and learn how to i guess you don't really need a class to go click let's be
honest it's pretty easy
yeah it's funny they're saying like you're taking the easy way i'm like yeah
well they're
fucking crushing i guess i don't know is having a successful only fans sort of
like going lottery
in the nba like well what do you mean lottery oh like like you're an early pick
an early pick
ah no because a lot of these people have like a regular job and then they do it
i think like nba
you're like kind of you're doing you know you're doing that for years you're
not like you're not
14 like i'm prepping for my fucking only fans say it's 50 million to one like
you're not going to
make the nba or you're not going to make a great successful only fan i think
this is an unfair
comparison because people who play professional sports for a living have to
work much harder and have
much more talent true that's a that's a ridiculous comparison to be like i got
fucked by my neighbor
on camera and you're like yeah lebron's in the gym all off season you know what
i mean and you
can be a fat lady on only fans and that's a fetish you can still make some
money even if you're you
know not traditionally hot yeah you could look like jason kelsey yes
i wonder how stavros is having a moment oh my god it's so cool i love it it
makes me fucking
happy like because it is cool when you're a big name comedian now and you're a
fan of a team that
doesn't really like they're not a like a sexy team baltimore yeah yeah but they
do win i mean
they won two super goals the last 20 years but like 22 years whatever but um
look i'm a knicks
fan we got a lot of famous knicks fans yeah i mean but like say you're a fan
like ian carmel is a
fan of the blazers uh-huh he gets hooked up with the blazers oh that's true you
know might as well go
for it yeah i have a question for you guys that's great this is the very first
world question this is
me this is so james webb my friend was like i want to go to a knicks game this
week let's go to a
knicks game so they're playing the nets is that barclays the garden will take
care of us a little
bit because we we play their venues barclays it is hard to ask because i've
asked for tickets before
for the liberty but i root for the liberty i asked my tour manager to ask for
tickets to the knicks nets
but i'm rooting for the knicks oh is that a dick move interesting i might have
to just buy the tickets
and maintain my freedom of speech yeah it's like you used to bang this lady but
your friends with her
her ex yeah or your friends with her boyfriend and they're getting married you're
like i want to go
to the wedding but who are you rooting for here i'm rooting for the knicks i'm
wearing a fucking
wall frazier shirt here yeah yes this isn't a lane orioles moment but i think
they're both new york
teams but i should just buy tickets i think that's the classiest thing to do
yeah but i think it's okay
you know manhattan guy you're going for the knicks i think that's i think my
reputation i think in my
bio it says knicks fan on social media so if they look and they're like fuck
this guy yeah but yeah
it's two new york teams you should be able to rep a team yeah but should i get
free tickets the
answer is no probably you're probably right the answer is no so i think i just
answered my own
question ah well i hate paying for shit well what does the ticket go for 250 oh
geez