Name: Ep 177: The Foot
Uploaded: 2024-04-29T01:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 177: The Foot' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 177: The Foot' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-29. Transcript available.

Ep 177: The Foot

hey vodka soda yeah no nothing wrong with that how you doing can't complain
living the dreams
back on the road i was in i had a great run this weekend where were you when
you got a good run
you got to appreciate it we'll be talking so dr steve you ever heard of him he
the touches the
comics dicks he's the chlamydia doctor basically so i probably could have said
that in a more
dignified manner yeah well he heard me on jim and sam 10 years ago or opium gym
or whatever the
fuck it was and uh i kept having kept fooling around and getting stds and shit
so he would call
in and be like let me let me let me give you the antibiotics so we became
friends what a fucking
crazy way to meet a doctor great guy i heard you talking about your dick on the
radio we should
link up we became fast friends i owe this guy my life because he got me out of
so many jams
he goes hey this is a comedy club my hometown they need a help they need a hand
they need a boost
will you come do it and i said i owe you a favor it was in bristol tennessee it's
called blue ridge
comedy club great club and i went and did two shows there we sold them out
killer and i went out and got
drunk with a staff left there drove to knoxville uh did some theater there the
bijou oh i've done it to me
you were there i i told you i thought about i'm like maybe gonna take my next
special there you know
who did who dusty sleigh it's a good theater great theater great crowd it's you
know what it is they're
just like a great mix of people yeah i love performing there that was a fun run
we did it we did the tour bus for
that one it was like oh nice all these cities that like you know like chattanooga
birmingham there were
great crowds great crowds real people salt of the earth got drunk with the
staff yeah i did a don't
tell that's where i bomb with my pedophilia stuff yeah i thought that's when
you use your mouth in a
glory hole and you don't know how to talk about it i really flubbed that one i
had a good one there
and i really fumbled at the gold line what are you gonna do then we drove to chattanooga
which i'm in
love with yeah it's cute cute right nestled in the mountains brick cute pretty
girl with freckles
and big tits yeah nothing wrong with that yeah yeah i like a freckle i'll take
a couple freckle on the
tit you like that yeah not too many as long as they're freckles you know if you
have enough
freckles no one has freckles on their ass use a condom thanks parrot the parrot
uh if you have
too many freckles you're black something to think about you want to see winnie
dance check this shit
she loves this shit dance winnie dance she goes crazy for these that's her
dancing that's all right
not much of a shuffle there she can't do much anymore at this age that was
about it
happy though there we go very quiet today she's always quiet so restful old
bird yeah old wingus
look at the tongue the tongue doesn't even make it in the mouth
that's hard to have a dog in new york it really is yeah yeah people sometimes
you see a person with a
dog that's like you ever see one of those enormous dogs yes first of all they
live to like six
so you're just like you just have a giant dead body in your home before you
know it
sorry to be morbid here and secondly you know like who the fuck has the room
for a dog that size
i know i've seen what do you call those giant ones uh big big giant fuckers
the marmaduke one the uh great dane great dane they're big dane cook yeah great
dane and also big
poop big poop the dog bigger the shit you gotta walk that son of a bitch
cats the way to go or a paraplegic she's so she's so she saw me with her
outside you i don't even have
her on the leash she's so slow yeah i got that footage of when he's strolling
through the city
uh there we go just cut it before the uh asshole dilates nobody needs to see
that maybe she's
gonna drop a deuce you better believe that oh look at that fucking camel wingus
runs the city
he fucking rules so i asked him a question in the elevator so i asked him a
question in the elevator
because he was holding her up holding winnie up by the chest there so her whole
lower region was
hanging down and i was like do female dogs have clits well that's not how it
started matt starts
playing rebellion i go yeah rub that clit and that's how it started that's how
it started he
was petting her a little low it was strikingly low and he hit any be careful
and he had a devilish
grin on his face he seemed excited to do it the glasses and he was having fun
with it yeah and i saw
him i saw an erection form in his pants and then i saw him start pleasuring
himself it was a terrible
ride up to the studio it's a long ride it was bad a lot happened so anyway so
do dogs have clits i don't know
you're the google master here well my cat's a boy so i play with that dick and
nobody gets hurt
he's got a red rocket every now and then it's very jarring you're watching the
show gun you're
like oh he's got an asian fetish i gotta watch that show i don't know if you'd
love it it's kind
of falling off if you ask me you know what i just saw that was really good on
broadway was enemy of
the people with jeremy strong oh yeah fucking michael imperioli man killer what's
what's he like i mean
seeing him in the flesh has got to be cool funny to hear him not doing an italian
accent oh yeah it's
like i think it's like a norwegian play it's like a you know it's i think it
was written in the late
1800s wow so it's not like he can be like tony i went to the store he can't i
kind of was hoping he would
but no he he's kind of like a trumpy character he's like a politician it's you
know what that play is i was i
turned to i turned to my girlfriend i'm like hey uh this is kind of like jaws
because there was like
this bacteria in the uh in the in the bath and in the uh in the water and it's
bad for the town and
they have to do all this work it would toss the city so much money they're like
we can't do it this
is like a big tourist season like this is like the plot to jaw whoa i'm like
and then i was telling ron
on he goes you know what movie that's based on i was like what he goes jaws i
was like fuck hey good
on you hey don't you want to turn to your lady and go yeah i called him okay
good no jaws is so
good oh man i got a wreck i got another wreck that one's like that dogs have clits
by the way they
do confirmed it yeah they have clits yeah lucky you lucky her
hey i pet a dog why can't i take it a step further am i right guy who doesn't
understand animals
that's a petting zoo heavy petting zoo so uh yeah i mean it was really good but
it's in new york and
it's it is hard to get tickets i got lucky but uh i'll tell you this we we
watch haven't watched
carrie since i was a little kid i don't think i ever saw it start to finish it's
fucking great
man great dark the palma man oh yeah wait the palma to that yeah it's brian the
palma i didn't know
that yeah i just thought it was a stephen king joint well yeah it is but wow
the palma good on
you the mom is scares the out of me she's great great actress yeah that was oh
man it's a scary
movie man it's this is basic is it period blood yeah oh been there it's pig
blood but oh it's pig
blood in the beginning it's period blood oh sorry yes yeah they kill a pig to
put the pig blood on her
you couldn't just gotten fake blood you had to go to that it's okay it's a lot
yeah pita
young travolta yeah that's right hot travolta straight travolta getting sucked
off by nancy allen
in a car they were such mean mean girls all these girls were so mean i know
that literally she's like
sucking his dick like will you do something for me and you're expecting like
you know you can get a
lot for a blow job in high school like yeah she's suck you off you can do
everyone ruin this girl's
life right that's what she wants you to do in exchange for fellatio well when
you're getting
ahead you're like i'll kill her i'll do anything i'll pay your college debt
whatever it is so many
good shots in that movie man like beautiful looking oh yeah i'm not a huge
horror guy but it's like i
love the ones that are like grounded and you know reality yeah and also there's
a lot more i know there's
like the telekinesis thing but like there's a lot there it's really interesting
completely agree to me
it's got to be a good movie same with a comedy like you want the comedy to be
decent like trading
places you're like this is a fun comedy or coming to america or something about
mary good movie
something about mary dude classic all of them speaking of uh jaws you know what
lion king is based on
what hamlet no shit yeah my dad pointed that out i was like shut up dad
but now as a some kids over here then the theater just start beating at you the
next day
yeah that's for your dad understanding yeah but dad dies kid has to come up and
become a man blah
blah blah give it a gook i think it's based on hamlet i might be talking out of
my ass that's
cool but yeah eddie isters playing hamlet in the in the village no yeah good
for him i think it's
i think he's ed ed i think he transitioned yeah so is he still eddie oh i don't
know i don't think
so i misspoke based on hamlet thank you yeah there we go there we go it's funny
because you think
hamlet you're like oh i don't want to watch that shit so boring but you put it
in a lion and a
monkey and a warthog i'm in you know my favorite part of hamlet was was uh hold
on let me do this
i beat you to it oh i know you went right for it
oh wingus well everything's based on robion juliet
not everything but a lot of things so much oh man which one is like remember
that teen comedy uh
10 things i hate about you isn't that like taming of the shrew that is one it's
yeah it's one of them
or twelfth night or something it's one of the no no it's 10 things i hate yeah
that was great
taming the shrew so they're doing a performance of romeo and juliet in uh london
uh-huh and this
tom holland is romeo oh nice and this actress francesca i'm not gonna try it
rivers uh is juliet
uh-huh uh and like everyone's like you know up in arms like she cannot be juliet
it's like because
she's black apparently like you can't have a black juliet like well they're
originally italian
which is pretty black oh i wasn't going that way i'm just saying like it's
actors i don't know i
don't think he's italian yeah you know and who hates whose family's going to
hate each other's
more than the blacks and italians that's why i thought it was perfect i thought
it was perfect
that's what west side story was it was whites and puerto ricans yeah bronx tail
blacks and italians
was that romeo no no i was just racing yeah i want him on here can we get chaz
on here oh he
would definitely yeah yeah it's always colin quinn yeah they do all those
videos what else uh what
else is romeo and juliet oh there's a whole list there's a whole list yeah
minus the suicide we went
to see twelfth night when we were uh in school it was like one of those like
field trips and
the woman playing i forgot which character she was playing uh but she was like
doing a dance and one
of her massive tits just fell out of her shirt pull it up boy if you the whole
school trip went from like
ugh to yes this field trip fucking rules wow i don't remember that going to see
shakespeare and
accidentally seeing a tit like that's the day just leveled up yeah well isn't
it funny a wardrobe
malfunction on a woman is great on a guy it's horrifying we would have probably
laughed it was a guy
true but with a woman we were like yes yeah well my whole childhood was my dad
in a robe with no
underwear his dick out all day long black socks robe and sometimes t-shirt so
he's like half dressed
but a lot of a little bit you covered the wrong half yes a lot of ball bag
swinging those were crazy
pendulum he had you've heard of a grandfather clock have you heard of a dad
cock
awful uh what these are all shakespeare that's what it says that's pretty what
else we have pull them
up the movie oh i guess it's othello tha