Name: Ep 178: Cinco de Gringo
Uploaded: 2024-05-06T01:00:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 178: Cinco de Gringo' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 178: Cinco de Gringo' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-06. Transcript available.

Ep 178: Cinco de Gringo

Happy Cinco de Mayo!
If the outfit doesn't get us in trouble, that will.
Ian Fidance, new special on YouTube, Wild, Happy, and Free.
I love Ian.
Thank you.
I love you.
I brought you guys little gifts.
They're matchbooks with my special on it and my little Ghostbuster logo.
I love it.
Are you a Ghost fan?
Big fan.
Me too.
Big, big.
The intro to my special is a remake of the first call they got in the movie.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
I had access to the car, the firehouse, everything.
How'd you get that?
Pull that up.
Yeah.
Can we see that?
I got to see that.
The one in Tribeca?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Book and Ladder 8.
It's a real firehouse.
Yep.
And, yep, here it is.
Oh, boy.
Oh, I know the fucking ads.
One day, we'll get there.
This beer is fucking good.
What is this?
Okay, we got an animated.
Blue Moon, this is great.
Oh, the orange.
I'm an idiot.
You have?
Okay, thank you.
We got one!
Oh, that was Annie Potts.
Yes, but voiced by my gay butch dyke cousin, Sherry.
Nice.
Whoa.
Whoa.
The car.
Uh-huh.
Ectomobile.
And it's got my little dumb logo on it.
Oh, my God.
That's incredible.
Oh, dude.
I love that.
How'd you do that?
Oh, the double door.
Hey, uh, anybody call about a joke?
Whee!
Wow.
Yeah.
And then Jordan intros me, which was nice.
And at the end, I...
Gentlemen, Ian Barton!
Oh, we don't need to see the bombing.
But, you know, this is great.
The end, I got a standing ovation.
I stage dived.
So then we added later guys throwing me out of the venue into a pile of trash.
And Attell pops up and goes, welcome to YouTube.
It was, like, such a perfect icing on the cake.
Fast forward.
Damn.
Attell was, like, a trash person.
Oh, yeah.
It was great.
Oh, here we go.
You messed up my fucking outfit!
Welcome to YouTube.
Wow.
How hard was it to not laugh doing that?
Oh, dude.
There's, like, a million takes.
Of me just breaking.
And he said a million different things.
It was fucking great.
Was it at four in the morning?
Like, how'd you get a tell out there?
Oh, yeah.
No, he did me a solid.
He came out at 11 p.m.
Whoa!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He set the alarm early.
We got done the other shoot at, like, nine.
And we're just, like, twiddling our thumbs waiting for him to appear.
And then everyone's favorite part was watching him parallel park at the venue.
He's a bad driver.
Oh, it's out of control.
Is he a car in the city?
Oh, yeah.
That's how he gets around, yeah.
What?
Insane driver.
He used to drive me all the way uptown back in the day.
And I remember he'd be like, ooh, getting kind of Spanish.
I remember, though, he would drive.
His hands would be on the wheel.
And he drives like a little kid with a big wheel.
He's, like, doing this the whole time.
Did he have the cushion seat when you drove with him?
Because he has a cushion seat now that props him up like a little phone book.
It's the best.
Oh, come on.
I love him.
Yeah.
Man.
Big Jay said he was in the car with him once.
And he opened the sunroof.
And he goes, that's so the Lord can hear my rhymes.
Dude, he did one take where he put a mask on and pulls it down and goes, is it
over yet?
Well, how does it feel?
I mean, you're already over 100K, baby.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah.
I'm very excited.
This is your first one, right?
Yeah.
I love it, man.
Yeah, thanks, man.
I'm really proud of it.
It was great.
Two sold-out shows.
It was fucking insane.
Because the venue, four days out, double booked.
I heard, didn't James direct this?
Yes, he told you.
Yeah.
Yeah, an all-Korean dad band called Daddy the Cool Band.
They're a Korean cover band.
Wow.
Find out four days ahead, they booked that date.
The venue was like, hey.
He was like, look, they're a bigger draw than you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, he goes, they haven't sold tickets, but trust me, people will show up.
I was like, is this Field of Dreams?
What the fuck are you talking about?
And so the guy goes, hey, if you can convince them to move the date,
then that's fine.
So I had to call this guy, Thomas Lee, who's a dentist,
and he barely speaks English.
And I'm outside the venue, like, artist to artist, please.
We need the venue all day.
He's like, I don't know.
I'll tell you.
It can't happen.
People come.
Oh, no.
And I was like, oh, no.
And, dude, James and the crew were so fucking great.
They got in there at 7 a.m.
Wait, how did you get the guy off?
We had to fucking let them play.
And then say you have a hard out at fucking 6 o'clock.
Doors open at 6.30.
Did he have to build a set, though, too, in there?
No.
We said, look, the only thing you can change in the entire room
is add a back line.
We have everything set up.
Your people have to just deal with that.
Wow.
You have to end at 5.45.
You have to be out by 6.
So then people lined up for the venue.
Oh, big time.
You got to dictate them.
I Nagasaki, I dropped a bomb on him.
And all these people were coming into my show,
and they're like, why are all Ian's fans Korean?
It was just old families there.
I got to say, they sold it the fuck out.
There were no tickets sold a day ahead of time.
It was all at the door, completely packed.
Wow.
And we're stressing the fuck out that everything's going to be ruined
because of Daddy the Cool Band.
Can we look up Daddy the Cool Band?
Dude, please look.
It reminded me of Yata.
Do you remember Yata?
No.
Yata, Yata.
It was like a Japanese.
Dude, I'm telling you, look up Yata.
That was like the first.
How long did someone see this guy, though?
Yata.
Nothing?
Dude, they're not even on YouTube.
Wow.
They have a Facebook page with like 74 people,
and yet they're like, people flew in from South Korea for the show.
What?
Insane.
They have 74 fans, and they're international?
Bro, international.
Daddy the Cool Band.
All right.
Damn.
You can't even really find them online.
Maybe we can get them on.
Dude, you should.
I mean, if the guy can clear his dentist schedule.
Yeah.
Yeah, 204 followers.
This is them.
Is that them?
Yeah.
I think that's, okay, Daddy Cool Band.
There they go.
There's no Koreans in there.
Is she Korean?
Is this?
I kind of like it.
I don't think this is Korean.
I think that was Korean.
Yeah, that was some smooth jazz.
No, this is not.
There's a different Daddy Cool Band.
There's no the.
Yeah, Daddy the Cool Band.
Just like my childhood.
I'm looking for Daddy.
Yeah.
Daddy Cool the Band?
I don't know.
Either way, it was a fucking nightmare.
But James fucking nailed it, man.
Yeah.
It was awesome.
We love you, James.
James is great.
Directed mine as well.
All right.
We decorated the set with everything at the venue, which was great.
I wanted it to feel like an old 80s special with a set design and everything.
That's a great room, too.
The cutting room?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's great.
Daddy Cool the Band.
I think that's them.
Daddy Cool the Band.
Yeah, event location.
The cutting room.
Wow, there it is.
You should get that tattoo, dude.
I should get a chess piece of Daddy Cool the cover band.
Amateur cover band formed in 2012 by five mid-aged Korean American daddies with
diverse professions
of non-musical.
All the members had never learned nor played music professionally until they
formed a band.
Dan, the Asians come out.
I mean, Ali Wong and Ronnie Chang.
Oh, yeah.
They'll sell out Radio City 12 times.
You're comparing Daddy the Cool Band to Ali Wong?
Wow, I'm just saying.
They're Asian.
The Asian folk pop in.
She's doing like 14 nights in San Francisco at a massive theater, and you're
like, I don't
know, dude.
Daddy the Cool Band.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, I bet they're opening.
Dude, the pit in my stomach finding out that they double booked the venue on
the day I was
shooting my special with Daddy Cool the cover band, and they were like, sorry,
we can't budge.
These guys, every year, they're drawn.
I'm like, what the fuck?
But it worked out.
Were you pissed at the cutting room?
I mean, was that-
I mean, dude, getting pissed, like I was pissed initially, but like getting
pissed and like
heated and everything like would get me nowhere, so I just tried to stay cool
and like assess
and fix and figure out a way to make it work, you know?
I can't believe they're playing the cutting loom.
I was waiting for how long it was going to take.
How many ethnic groups will hate us by the end of the episode?
I know, I know.
Have you guys seen the viral video of the kid in college who wears a full poncho,
a sombrero,
a fake mustache, and he's like, is this offensive?
And every white person says yes.
Yeah, every white person is like, oh my God, this is horrible.
You got to take that off right now.
Are you Mexican?
No, you're a piece of shit.
And then he goes up to Mexicans, they're like, you look great.
Yeah, we love it.
Thanks for celebrating our culture.
Yeah, you look amazing.
Yeah.
Shows the divide.
He's our next guest, so we'll try to have him come out.
So, yeah, man, no, there's nothing worse than day of special stress.
I mean, I had it, too, where they tried to ding me with, like, a fee, and I was
like, you guys deal with it.
I'm not dealing with it.
I want to try one of those, too, Mark.
Well, dude, it worked out in our favor because when we were like, hey, I want
to shoot my special here,
they were like, oh, okay, and they thought it was like, because we shot a live
podcast there,
and we had to film Get the Crew on an hour ahead of time,
so they thought it was that.
So they cut us a door deal for renting the venue.
And they were like, if we knew that this was, like, Netflix-style.
Ian, imaginary, non-alcoholic cheers.
There you go.
Ian Silver.
They were like, we wouldn't open the doors for less than 12K.
So then at the end of the day, I ended up making money off the fucking venue.
So it was all worth it, you know?
Oh, great.
Is that a spicy Mark?
That's fucking delicious.
Is that non-alcoholic?
Yeah, take some.
It's non-alcoholic and alcoholic.
Ooh.
But I'm sure you sold it out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sold out both shows.
There's non-alcoholic and alcoholic, but we didn't label them, so you have to
roll the dice.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, you know.
Didn't I say if I were to relapse, I did?
No, wait, is that the right one?
Yeah.
You took the right one?
I switched the labels.
This is like a cartoon.
We're dressed as three, like Mexicans.
It's like an old Looney Tunes.
Yeah, this is Russian roulette.
Oh, yi, yi, yi.
At some point, you guys just have to humor me, and we have to do the Three Amigos
salute.
What is that?
What is it?
Is it?
Uh, uh.
Wait, how do you do it again?
Uh, uh, uh.
Uh, uh.
All right, let's do it.
All right.
All right.
Ready?
Ready?
You know how to do it?
Uh, uh, uh, uh.
Shoulder, shoulder, waist, waist, turn, right, cough, and it's like the, uh.
All right, ready?
Are we sure this is right?
Oh, yeah.
All right, let's do it.
Unless you want to pull it up later, just to be sure.
Let's do it.
Amigos, mount up!
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
All right.
That's right, man.
I said I didn't hit thrust.
You got a thrust.
I sucked.
I'm sorry, dude.
You got a thrust.
It's supposed to be, what is that, that, uh, doctor moment where he goes, turn
your head and
cough.
Oh, yeah.
That's what they're making fun of.
When you're checking for testicular cancer.
There you go.
That movie was Tropic Thunder before Tropic Thunder.
Ooh.
Oh, shit.
Good point.
That's a good take.
Good point.
Classic.
I love that movie.
Both classics.
1986, Lord Michael produced it.
I have it on VHS.
You know what I had on VHS that I wore out Kindergarten Cop?
Do you remember that movie?
Oh, it's not a tumor.
Arnold Schwarzenegger?
Yeah, classic.
Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.
Easy.
That's not.
That's the unblocking anymore.
Easy.
Yeah.
Come on, Ben Shapiro.
Arnold fucking rules.
Oh, yeah.
He's the best.
Here it is.
I might.
I hope we got it right.
Okay.
Love this movie.
This was, uh, Martin Short's first film and he was freaking out the whole time.
Really?
Yeah, because he's in with these big heavyweights.
Who's funnier than Martin Short?
No.
I'm Dusty Barroks, so together we're the Three Amigos.
Okay.
Pretty good.
You're