Name: Ep 182: Colin Quinn & Rachel Feinstein
Uploaded: 2024-06-03T01:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 182: Colin Quinn & Rachel Feinstein' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 182: Colin Quinn & Rachel Feinstein' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-03. Transcript available.

Ep 182: Colin Quinn & Rachel Feinstein

- What I'm doing right now?
- What?
- Moisturize.
- You're rubbing stuff on your legs?
- Because last time--
- You're getting our male viewership up.
- Wiki feet, check her out.
Show it to her, will ya?
- It has to do with your show here.
- Before we even start,
Colin Quinn with an amazing new special on YouTube.
- Thanks, Colin.
- Watch it right after this.
And Rachel Feinstein with an amazing new special on Netflix.
Check 'em both out.
- Big guy.
- I watch it with the lady, she's a huge fan.
- Really?
- Oh yeah.
- She's always been very nice to me.
- And she hates women.
- Is a beauty.
- Can I just say that last time I was on here,
there was a comment that somebody made about my knees.
They wrote like, "Ouch, look at her knees," or something.
And so--
- Been around the firehouse.
- That's why I'm putting makeup on my knees right now.
Because the last time I was on your podcast, it gave me--
- You can't let the commenters win.
- By the way-- - What are you doing?
- I'm here to say-- - True.
- I'm here to say-- - Letting them win.
- If you write a negative comment,
this is to all my haters out there,
if you write a negative comment about me,
- Wow, look at that picture.
- I will immediately internalize it as fact,
and your voice will stay with me.
And I'll-- - You can't tell 'em that.
- I know. - This is weak.
- This is chum in the water.
- This is a weak opening here.
- Oh my God, Rach.
- Blood in the water with the sharks.
- But I'm sorry, they said they go knees ouch,
and then ever since then I've been obsessed with maybe--
- That's nothing.
- Maybe they meant like, ouch, like ooh.
- Like Mamacita. - Yeah.
- They were kind of blue that day.
They looked weird and gangrenous.
- They are a little lumpy now that I know.
- Christ!
- I don't know what these knots are.
- It looks like rotten milk, what the hell?
- Jesus Christ! - No!
- It's not knots.
- Oh my God.
- What do you got on there?
You need some knee pads.
- Shit.
- All right, who hit ya there, Aunt Nancy Kerrigan?
Tanya Harmon?
- Yeah, your husband was Chris Brown, Jesus Christ.
- Yeah, did you meet Diddy recently?
All right.
- Knee Diddy.
- This is gonna be a fun one, I feel like.
- Oh God.
- Yeah, what do you pour in there?
- Rachel on a Prosecco.
- Whoa, Nelly, do one Netflix special,
you gotta have the good bubbly.
- Yeah.
- This is $5.99, this bottle.
- By the way, you should never waste anything good on me.
Give me a well.
- Is this a good bottle?
- Oh!
- What do you think this is, flagrant two?
Somebody comes from money, generational wealth.
- You got that right, sister.
- Oh boy.
- All right.
- So Quinn, I mean, you just shot it in D.C.
at a psychiatrist.
- What were you thinking?
What was that?
- At that psychiatrist?
- Yeah, you did a corporate.
No one shoots a corporate.
You want those hidden.
- Something different.
- All right.
- Who cares at this point?
- It's Taylor, dude.
- Plus, I wanted to do it because
what happened was I was doing a show.
- Cheers.
- And these four psychiatrists are in the audience.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, that's right.
- And then, so it's like, oh my God, the whole thing relates.
Everything relates to everything.
- Oh, I see.
- Well, relates.
Everything relates.
If you wanted to.
- You don't want to shoot that in Albany.
- I don't want to be like Terrence Howard, but you know.
Everything relates if you wanted to.
- That was a wackadoo, huh?
- I'm too dumb to know if what he's saying is true or not.
- But that's what I mean.
- Me too, I run so dumb around Colin.
Like, I never want to ask him follow-up questions
so he knows how stupid I really am.
- No, he means Terrence Howard, right?
- Yes.
- Yeah, well, he's just saying shit.
I'm like, I don't know.
- Terrence Howard's saying things,
but it sounds so intelligent.
You're like, I can't believe this guy.
Even if it's insane, it totally connects.
It's like, you're like, oh.
- Does it?
- Well, I mean, when he says the Pythagorean theorem,
he goes, well, they're starting with the premise
that the world is flat, so everything's in flat lines
when it should have been curved.
And I'm like, that kind of makes sense.
- Oh, interesting.
- So even if it's not true, it does make sense.
- Yeah, but they always go too far if you keep listening.
So it's a Pythagorean, that means the Earth is flat.
You're like, whoa, how'd we get here?
You had me for a second.
- Right.
- I don't even know a Pythagorean, I don't even know any of it.
I'm a dizzy bitch.
- That's your next special.
- I'm a dizzy bitch with nice knees.
That's what you get, the way around it.
- The bee's knees.
- The bee's knees.
- No, but you know how certain people you run dumb around,
others you run smarter.
I run a little dumb around Colin, you know,
because he's just, you have the actual history.
And, you know, I always kind of feel like I'm faking it,
and then I get credit for being smart
'cause I'm like sarcastic and Jewish.
- I actually have no information about anything.
- But I feel like most comedians really are smart,
even if they're not--
- Book smart.
- Yeah, they're smart.
There's just something smart about comedians.
- Can you lift my chin up and say that again?
- What the hell are you pulling?
- Oh, someone said this.
- Someone's getting an organ.
- I love that picture, that was like Elliot Gould.
- It is.
- Long kiss.
- Yeah, long goodbye, long goodbye.
- But somebody said that this was Terrence Howard on Rogan.
- Oh, that's funny.
- All the stuff like that, but we actually,
we did it all with sound, right?
- What we did was sound, and then we had a blanket.
- Just a POW in the tub.
- And it came down like that.
- Oh, is that Robert Downey?
- Yeah, it's behind the scenes from Tropic Thunder.
- Oh, that's fun.
- So we were working on his brow shop room.
We're just in bed in the crown shop room.
And that's why he's been tripped up.
- This is what it's like in Cat Williams' green room.
- He's made on his car payments and all that stuff.
- We have problems on people's backs and shit.
That's quite a writer.
- He's made a white guy in a tub who's shirtless.
- Oh, my stars.
- Before we leave, we need to end this pod
with at least a couple Colin Quinn movie wrecks.
- Oh, get there.
- Colin is like, well, just put a pin in that for later.
- Okay.
- Okay, but this is tough 'cause we got two bangers right here.
Two specials out simultaneously.
- We're competing against each other.
- I know.
- I mean, we're both trying to usurp Keith Robinson.
- Keith Robinson, if you don't know at home,
he's the oldest living comedian.
He's the very oldest one.
- Rich voice doesn't count as living.
Or comedian.
- When's his?
Oh, June 11th.
- Yes.
- Keith, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- He's a bad man.
- Yeah, he is.
That's why God chirped him.
- He's been a real dick to me, I'll tell you that.
- Keith, Wayne, Alistair Robinson.
- Wow, what is he, Muslim?
- His home attendant is feeding him sweet peas
through a straw right this very moment.
- He can't afford a home attendant.
What are we talking about this time, is he?
That's a shitty deal on Netflix.
What are we talking about?
- Well, either way, he's definitely grabbed her ass.
- That's how he gets his strength back.
- Right, it's a finish.
- Well, yeah, so yeah, both specials, one was paid for.
But, you know.
- Yeah, they didn't pay for mine.
- That was the joke.
- I know.
- But you're out there on the YouTube.
- Yeah, but Quinn's going, he's going the young route,
which is cool.
- I'm going rogue.
- Quinn's done a million specials on, you know,
Netflix, everything, but, you know.
- That's right.
- What's about this one?
- Yeah.
- But how do you feel about this one?
Like, do you like that it's a different type of?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like doing it different like that.
- Yeah.
- I felt, yeah, I feel like that's a good move for everybody.
- Oh, yeah.
- Do it in front of, instead of being a theme,
the theme is the audience.
- Interesting.
And no notes.
- I reversed, well, I wouldn't say there were no notes.
I had a little, what do you call it?
Teleprompter on the corner.
'Cause a lot of the stuff I never said before,
not a lot of it, but--
- Really?
- 40%.
- You meant no network notes.
- No network notes, I meant.
- Oh, no, I meant no.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, no network notes.
No, no.
- Yeah.
- The head of YouTube's like, that's not gonna fly, dude.
- The only one you deal with is Homeless Pimp.
He's the only one that can give you notes.
Yeah, no, it was really--
- Homeless Pimp is getting,
he's getting successful enough,
he might have to change his name from Homeless Pimp.
- And change your outfit, too.
- The funny thing about Homeless Pimp is,
he's like, he's this sort of mild-mannered,
kind of lovely, quiet guy.
Some comic probably gave him that name,
but he's an editor and produces stuff.
I always assumed Pimp was out there
just combing for ass after the shows,
and that he's just like--
- Right, right.
Who's to say he's not?
- Punish leftover, you know, DeStefanopus,
but it turns out he's a lovely man,
and doesn't try to punish any leftover puss at all.
- No.
- He's kind of just a smart, creative guy.
It's funny what I assume about men,
I'm like, you dirty little bitch,
I know what you're up to.
Turns out to be just a reasonable guy.
- Well, he does dress like a cult leader from the '70s,
for some reason.
He's got flowers on his shirt and giant pants.
There he is with weird Elton John, look at that.
- Yeah.
- What is his outfit?
But, he's a creative genius.
- Oh my God, he is.
I mean, I saw the Chaz thing that he's doing right there.
It's amazing.
- Really?
- It's amazing.
- It's amazing that Chaz Pulmateri
is getting directed by Homeless Pimp.
- Yeah.
Fucking Chaz Pulmateri.
- Yeah.
- What the hell?
- I know.
- He's pretty amazing.
- All right, so you were saying.
- It was great.
- No, he's great.
It's just the name.
It's great.
- So yeah, you're special.
What were you saying?
No notes, YouTube?
- No notes, YouTube.
Just put it up.
- Okay, and it's great.
- Yeah, thanks.
- Loved it.
A Colin joke.
I've probably said it before.
- Colin Jost.
- Colin Quinn jokes is that there's a lot of comics.
You hear their jokes and you're like, "Fuck, I almost came up with that.
I could have come up with that if my mind had run around that for a few more
laps.
I wouldn't.
That would have been my joke.
With Colin's jokes, you could have run over it forever and ever and I wouldn't
have come
up with that angle."
- Totally.
- You'll have a thing where I'm like, I would never have, yeah, my mind wasn't,
it wasn't
going to do that.
- Yes, you have a great way of stepping back and seeing everything for what it
is because
we're all in the middle of it and we don't see it.
- That's right.
That's because I'm 90, guys.
Don't worry.
In 20 years you'll be able to do it.
- You were doing that in the 60s.
- You were doing that in the 20s, Colin.
- Yeah.
You and Professor Erwin Corey were fucking dominating the scene back then.
- Oh my God.
- Can you imagine Colin when you were like 20, 21?
- Oh.
- You would have probably been able to bag just about any skirt.
- Eye on Quaaludes with a mustache.
- Yeah, he could tell him anything and they'd believe it because he had a few
facts to sprinkle
in.
- Yeah, there's that Irish boy.
- Yeah.
- Look at that.
McGregor eating harder.
- I was 19.
I was like McGregor.
- Yeah.
- I think I could have fought McGregor back then.
- Maybe.
- Yeah.
- Look at that.
- I was 19.
- My favorite Colin Quinn story, one of my favorites, is in your book where you
talk
about being Colin.
- Oh, the Irish guy.
- The Irish poet laureate.
- Yeah.
- At the bars.
- At the bars.
That's a hunk right there.
- I would go to the, I would go to the bar and I would, yeah, I would put on an
Irish accent
and I was by myself cause no one was gonna hang out with me cause I was a real,
I mean,
I was a bad drunk.
- Yeah.
- And I would just show up at the bar and those of you smoke at the bar and I
just go, "Hey,
I'm here, my name's Colin."
And I'm talking, and I start tal