Name: Ep 191: Yannis Pappas & Sean Patton
Uploaded: 2024-08-05T01:00:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 191: Yannis Pappas & Sean Patton' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 191: Yannis Pappas & Sean Patton' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-05. Transcript available.

Ep 191: Yannis Pappas & Sean Patton

I love this show, it's like you guys were like 2, 2.30, 3, I feel like I'm
showing up for a black comedy set in a black room.
Show up whenever.
Do your time.
The show starts at 2, 3, 6, 7.
We kind of like it to feel like a bar, so sometimes a guest comes like 20
minutes late or something.
Hey, we're here! Keep that in!
We might be drunk, we're back.
We're gay, we're doing it.
We got whiskey here, we got Sean Patton, we got Giannis Pappas.
We're cooking!
The world's in a crazy place.
Yeah, and you guys have been here for 18 years.
Yeah, New York City!
New Yorkers, buddy.
New Orleans and New York right now.
What is the requisite now, year-wise, to be like, nah, you're a fucking New
Yorker.
You guys are New Yorkers.
You got it?
Yes!
I think like 10 years you're in.
What do you think?
Yeah, I think 10 years, you cut a ribbon, you've been mugged.
Have you slept with a transsexual?
Three times.
Today.
It comes in threes.
So whatever you ask next, you're going to say yes.
So does he.
Norden married a trans person.
He should get a key to the city.
Officially the mayor.
All right.
By the way, this is the new batch of Bodega Cat.
We're fucking sold out.
Yeah!
We're sold out.
Wow.
And so this is the new batch.
It's three years instead of two years.
So I thought we could sample some of the new shit we're getting here.
It's just fucking cyanide.
Yeah.
This is the biggest watch podcast of all time.
We're all dead in the pen.
This says sample proof 94?
Yeah.
That's a hundred.
It's 94 proof?
Yeah.
Well, that's not that crazy.
Is it not that crazy?
It's like a real...
It's rye.
It's 94% alcohol?
Yeah.
It's good shit.
No, proof is...
Proof.
It's 47% of it's 94.
So you could like legit clean your asshole with this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You could put that in the bidet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You could clean out a wound.
Bidet cat.
Bidet cat.
Bidet cat.
An emotional wound.
Swing.
Just a taste.
We got three...
Two more.
That's fucking nice.
That's a good one.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's pretty good.
I like to pretend like I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's nice.
You see when you're swarling.
You see the legs.
Yeah.
That's lovely.
Yeah.
Wow.
Let it open.
Let it open up.
Yeah.
Oh, you know, I could...
It's like a handful of almonds.
What is that?
Is that from Scotland or a warehouse in Brooklyn?
Those are the two options.
You thought we could pull off a Scotland?
No, we're not doing scotch.
We're fucking...
We're whiskey guys.
Yeah.
And I don't know.
Originally Indian.
There's certain parts of Scotland you go to where you're like, oh, you guys got
this
kind of shit too?
Didn't you do an ad for that or something?
An ad?
Oh, no.
That was Donnelly and McCaffrey, right?
You got McCaffrey and St. Germain.
I don't know, but every time someone confuses me with Sean.
Sean Donnelly.
It was the group.
It was the group.
Motherfucker.
I love that dude.
Yeah.
But it happens.
Somebody's going to do this pod and be on the episode where that dog dies.
Don't fucking say that, dude.
Wait, what?
Like, there will be an episode.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
No, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
You got to have like an EMT on call here while you...
We do.
We do.
In the back.
Yeah.
That's a good point.
You want to...
If it tasted this, it would die.
I was about to say...
I mean, I'm not going to lie to you.
You know this.
The first time I had bodega cat, I was like, oh, whatever.
And now the last time I had it, which was two nights ago at the cellar.
Or like maybe a week ago when there was a bottle you guys looked at.
Yes.
I was like, oh, this is matured.
This is very nice.
Very good.
Whatever this is.
Yeah, this is fucking really good.
Where have you guys gotten this into?
Cellar, The Stand.
We're working comedy clubs and then branching out.
Nice.
But we got, you know...
Why doesn't every comedy club carry that?
They will.
They're doing it.
They should have...
They will.
They should just...
Yeah.
Porosos?
Have you had that?
It's good.
Never heard of it.
Wait, Bert Kreischer, do you know that guy?
No.
Fully loaded.
Have you heard of this thing?
No.
A cruise ship last October.
Do you remember?
Who's going to die first?
Bird or the dog?
Who do you think?
You had to pick.
Both are shirtless.
Sean, we should work on a drink.
You know what?
It's called like Korean Market Dog.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Crotch Sweat.
That's Korean Market Dog.
Wawa's Wolf.
Gas Station Gecko.
Bodega Cat's a good fucking name.
It's a good name.
Hey, thank you.
That's a Giannis Papas and a Colin Quinn endorsement.
Yeah, that is a good name.
Has anybody been like, fuck this, dumb name?
Oh, yeah.
Really?
Oh, yeah, my dad.
Okay.
Yeah, a couple people.
Some people are like, I don't get it.
They don't know.
They don't live here.
Yeah.
I feel like you don't...
That's one of those New York things you don't even have to live here to know
about, right?
Yeah.
A bodega cat?
You think everywhere's got a cat.
The farms have a cat.
You know, a general store's got a cat.
Yeah.
If you made a tequila, would it be bodega gato?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
We got some stops at the...
We went to the Brooklyn Convention.
We got some people stopping like, my dad ran a bodega.
I want to try this.
And we're like, all right, we got the fucking...
They didn't say it like that, though.
They were like, my dad ran a bodega.
My dad used to have a bodega.
Before he was deported.
Hey, my fucking dad had a shop like that.
Hello, my dad used to have a bodega as well.
Wait a second.
Are you Shammy Murrell's kid?
There's a 0% chance you go to a bodega and see a Caucasian man.
That's just not...
It is...
My friend's dad ran when he was Greek.
Greek had a bodega?
Yeah, some Greeks.
He did say Caucasian.
Greek doesn't pass.
Greek's not...
Yeah, it depends.
Light-skinned Greek.
Culture, yeah.
Does Greek not count as Caucasian?
I think Greek...
Caucasian's solely white?
I figured out what the Greek means.
I thought Greek was white.
This is the thing with the Greek.
I figured it out.
It's all based on socioeconomic status.
So if you're a rich Greek, you're white.
If you're a poor Greek, you're Puerto Rican.
That's how it goes.
Puerto Rican.
It's in the name.
Poor-Tarican.
Yeah.
I can't be the first guy to get there.
Come on.
There's no fucking way I'm the first guy to get the poor-Tarico.
No, you might have been.
No, there's no way.
I've never heard it.
We're from here.
Never heard it?
Yeah.
There's rich Puerto Ricans.
You got J-Lo.
Yeah, of course.
That's about it.
That's where he falls off.
Yeah.
Is there another one?
Yes.
Baseball.
Baseball.
Baseball.
Baseball, you can have one.
Saifa.
Saifa, but even though he can't speak Spanish.
Saifa, yeah.
True, true.
Now, do we try the other one?
By the way, Matt, don't trim this part for you two, please.
Let's keep it in, but let's not maybe promote this part.
By the way, J-Lo's numbers are plummeting.
You see that?
No one's selling tickets.
I feel better when I can't sell than I see J-Lo is out.
Well, I mean, there's so many reasons to not leave the house now.
Yeah.
True.
Just distraction-wise.
Especially when your house is $60 million.
Yeah.
I mean, well, I'm talking about people buying tickets.
Oh, I meant J-Lo.
Not going on tour.
At what point do they go, I did it.
At what point does J-Lo or Madonna go, why do you want to go out again?
Never.
Dude, yeah.
She's in the midst of a divorce again.
She probably wants to tour.
Right.
When I was in Atlanta earlier this year, I went and saw Madonna.
Really?
Still swinging big, dude.
It's crazy.
Dude.
Really?
Still up there fucking in cages, dangling over audiences.
Something, the entire, all of her dancers were topless, but they were men and
women.
And there was something about the mix of the two where you were like, oh, yeah,
it's all tits.
Yeah.
This is great.
This is all tits.
Yeah.
And she just, yeah, topless beaches tomorrow.
How'd she look?
Because her face is a little banged up.
I mean, she looks 65 years old.
Yeah.
She looks different.
Very different.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, she's not.
I love doing Mars attacks.
Yeah.
Wow.
Kind of as a dole.
Oh, that's Madonna.
Oh, shit.
That's Madonna.
Oh, I thought you were about to say, like, this is someone who went to the
concert and got
fucked up and got stung by bees.
Confidently, I will still smash that.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
For the story.
Wait, was anybody there?
By the way, I love when people say for the story.
I fucked Madonna.
Gross.
That's the whole story.
Dude, was anyone there that night at the, at the was on stage and it was like,
I fucked ******.
No.
Just straight up.
Wait, should we not?
Maybe we shouldn't be repeating that.
He said it to an audience full of people.
I mean, I guess their phones are locked up, but he said it to an audience full
of people.
I think that's pretty known.
Oh, really?
That he did that?
Yeah.
Wow.
Good for him.
Yeah, this is not an insult to him.
Yeah.
No, it wasn't an insult.
I just don't know if he, like, maybe he told it because the phones were locked
up.
Right.
Could be the case.
Ah, good point.
We'll just bleep that all out.
Did you know?
Bop, bop, bop, bop.
Yeah.
Said, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
But ******.
So I had to follow her.
She opened for Schumer at the garden.
She wanted to go on and do five.
She did stand-up.
She was trying to do stand-up for, like, ten minutes.
She did Fallon.
I remember that.
And so she's like, I want to go on.
It was sold out at the garden.
She died, and I got to follow her and do well.
Did you trash her?
A little.
What did you say?
I said something like, I fucked her backstage.
I thought she'd be funny or something like that.
And, you know, like a virgin at stand-up.
I made a couple zings.
Yeah.
And she was so bad that I was the hero.
Yeah.
So you're like, showbiz is crazy.
I'm going on after Madonna at the garden.
Wait, what's the case?
I'm trying to now make up fucking jokes with Madonna songs.
Yeah.
That's the only thing in two.
Like a prayer for this to end.
That was borderline horrific.
Pull up her Fallon set.
Because she did stand-up on television?
She did it on Fallon.
Oh!
Wait.
Oh, this is okay.
So, anyways, I just always think that it's good to talk about what you know.
That's what I do.
I just talk about what I know, right?
So, I'm going to start with the younger men.
Yes, girl.
How about that?
You guys think that's funny?
Wait, who'd she marry?
Yeah.
Yeah, you do, don't you?
Okay.
Oh, stone face.
Okay, so, it's true, I date younger guys.
And I have my reasons, but I'm not going to go into them.
So, but I did find myself very strangely the other day at breakfast with my son
Rocco, thinking,
God, I haven't had a date in a couple of weeks, and I looked at my son without
thinking, and
I said, do you have any friends you could introduce me to?
Oh!
Someone at Netflix was like, let's give her a special.
Yeah.
Let's give her a three-hour deal.
Yeah.
See, I think I went on after, and I was like, I'll be your friend, or something
like that,
you know?
Hey, folks, we might be drunk and brought to you by Sheet.
If you're tired of having your dick stuck to your balls, your balls stuck to
your leg,
your legs stuck to your dick, it's time to try Sheet's underwear.
Sheet's is incredible.
They make underwear with two pouches, put your dick in one, and your balls in
the other.
It's a game changer, baby, whether you're working in the office or hitting the
track on
a sunny day.
Here's the thing.
Uh, much like Israel and Palestine, rollerbladers and skateboarders, uh, with
another group that
does it, Russia and Ukraine, much like them, they need some separation.
You know, you and your spouse, uh, you and your kids, you got to separate.
You don't all sleep in the same bed, so why should your sack and your nuts and
your cock
and your balls and your shaft, why should they all be touching?
All the time.
Separation is key.
A little alone time.
A little, uh, getaway.
They have tons of colors and patterns that fit your style.
While making sure you feel comfortable and secure.
It's a hot summer.
Let them breathe.
Go to Sheet'sEnderwear.com.
Use c