Name: Ep 192: The Nortons (Jim & Nikki Norton)
Uploaded: 2024-08-12T01:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 192: The Nortons (Jim & Nikki Norton)' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 192: The Nortons (Jim & Nikki Norton)' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-12. Transcript available.

Ep 192: The Nortons (Jim & Nikki Norton)

hey folks here we are we might be drunk we got a hot show we got Jim and Nikki
how the hell are
you hey all right now is that leading to an intro are you actually asking I'm
asking oh sorry that
was off with the two duds we are good I'm really good I love how you're I love
how you look thank
you thank you you're the one unlike my wife yeah no you're the sweater is nice
you're just gonna
move into someone's apartment and stay there yeah with Mrs. Dog yeah Winnie
this is Winnie Winnie
she is so cute I want to bring her home oh look at you she's getting angry
right now oh I hope she
bites you do you know how happy that would make me she might she attacked Ari
Shafir pretty badly did
she really yeah she saw his act but I feel like an animal spirit I can talk to
the animals oh really
well yeah yes I had to do a calling cow calling all right you got mooing you'll
have to explain it
they got it it's called Kulning in Norwegian well he likes to get milked you
ever watch milking video
porn sure yeah on the massage table yes of course pretty hot with the the
ladies under it with the
if we had a threesome he would be bukkake man but I'm not allowing I don't
think we should do a
threesome yet no I don't want to he probably would want more trans girls yeah I
wouldn't like that at
all right you'd want to be the only one strictly men oh okay yes yeah but we're
not gonna have a
threesome um but I do like the milking wow look at those purple balls I was
looking at the tits but
that's all right look at those big fat heavy balls I would wake up and be here
and then watch balls yeah
all right nice yeah I'm just working to give them to edit out of YouTube yeah
please people here they
don't you show them the same thing sure yeah he's a pervert yeah look at him
yeah that's that's a
fucking uh that's a van in a front of a school mustache oh I don't just look
like Ron Jeremy I
live it yeah he's going to jail for rape oh my god Ron's not going to jail he's
like uh no he was uh
he's got dementia he's so fucked up he's like literally it's not faking it they
could they
couldn't he couldn't stand trial what yeah yeah that'd be great if it ended
like primal fear though
and it turned out he was they just faked the whole thing yeah well she did
sorry remember when he
was at our show at the cellar and he was passed out during the set yeah he
liked comedy yeah he did
Ron Jeremy Ron Jeremy oh you know he did comedy no he just loved going to shows
I knew about him I
learned about him when I was 12 good age to find out about Jeremy the hedgehog
I think he did actually
do comedy I didn't know yeah at one point I think he looks like he would yeah I
think at one point he
did stand up he did love comedy and he would always like he would always like
he would uh text me or
he's always asking for like money or asking for weird if she didn't if he didn't
have a big dick
would he be big in porn you think no no no no he's ugly but he still had
personality that's true how
many porn stars do you know that are personality driven I can't get it up but
man what hilarious guy
he's charming yeah I think he's Jewish yes he is okay if this is bad I
apologize what the champagne
oh champagne yeah no no bubbles in that thing it's good very good all right
yeah no I don't you're dry
yeah yeah yeah yeah how long uh February 1st of 87 wow that's amazing yes and
every person that I know
through Jim who happens to be a comedian they don't drink they're all in it
yeah that's true there's a lot
of that very nice when I meet people who don't are not an AA yeah you meet
fellow addicts then I can
relax yeah enjoy life yeah and life is a little a dictionary if that makes
sense you are supposed
to take some risks yes here here sing it sister yeah you guys did you guys meet
during COVID or
oh no it was way before that right because I remember like oh what do you got
here is it bad
it's like old Mott's apple juice I love it yeah that's all right no we met
years before COVID we
lived together in COVID that's right it was talking online and I was this was
which site um no she
actually messaged me on Facebook because she saw me do an interview that she
liked when I said about
trans people just sent me a message no but I did web camming yeah I found that
out right after it
it's good though you get to see like all right I like this person um let me
watch them helicopter the
deck and just see if we get along I'm very proud to have done the type of work
that I've done though
at 18 the first day I turn 18 I sent in my passport all my information and I'm
feel very proud to have
done web camming yes because it made my life and it created my life sure be um
on my own and pay my
own bills it's gotta be a good moolah yes web camming I mean I've donated quite
a bit oh yeah me too
that might put a lot of those girls through college yeah so you got to see the
webcam after meeting I
know I mean after talking a little bit after talking yeah I mean long we didn't
meet for seven months
um but I didn't know that he was a comedian I didn't really understand what
that was yeah so I just
checked his wikipedia and I'm like oh well at least he's got a wikipedia so
there's got to be something
here right she's not like it's would the worst be a marriage to her like as a
comic because she
never laughs at jokes it's like always like answers like literally isn't it a
Norwegian thing yes yeah
they're all on the spectrum the whole she laughed at that yes but not a no I
like real jokes when I
watch someone do material I convey it as for me for me it's not a real joke
because I'm hearing the
material through the lines so then I tap out that's why I like Sandy Kane when
she does comedy she's
like fuck you man and she's just in her spirit totally do you know Sandy Kane
pull her up I mean
yeah ONA I love Sandy Kane yeah but if you see Sandy Kane and you're like that's
my wife's favorite
comedian you'll know why I'm in fucking hell her stand-up is underrated though
I agree it's not
she's not rated perfectly so I did the beacon and we tried to hire her to open
why yeah why didn't she
do it uh she said the money was too high no no um she uh she was in California
yeah where where could
she have been that she couldn't do a gig of that well she did a movie Jim oh
yeah the Florida the
Florida project yes oh I saw that movie she shows her tits and that was a good
movie it was that was
great yeah and she fucking I think we had Willem Dafoe in one time and he
starred in that and we brought
Sandy in and it was just very very uncomfortable yeah same because like she
kept bugging him about
like uh I think she you know she wants to do more work with him and he was like
you know just politely
kind of fucking brushing it off did you hear that Willem Dafoe's dick is so big
yes they had to get a
stunt double for one of his movies because it would be distracting yeah like
there's a guy whose job is
to just be like yeah he's got a medium-sized yeah that's that's who comes in
that's where I come in
the show but that's your claim to fame like you look like Willem Dafoe but you
have a small dick
I'll never make this work it's like wow we need you for something well Willem
Dafoe you look at
him his skin is so tight you can kind of tell he's well packing yeah because he
looks like a dick like
he's like yeah he's he looks like a penis like his whole body he's meant to be
penis yes yes exactly
you know who's got a big cock uh Dafoe I heard James Woods oh really you're all
my wife
but no James Woods has a legendarily giant dick and I'm very proud to have a
penis although I'm a
woman I'm very proud to have a penis it works and I love my body yes yes well I'll
be on the webcam
later thank you yeah I'll send you a link send me a link have you seen his
material about you
no you've seen some of it a little bit that's great it's really funny thank you
have you seen
James what's that have you seen James what's that James what's his dick yep let
me see I've yeah
it's not a good sign when you say zoom in it's not a good photo let's see that's
it is it just
hairy I can't see that's soft it's decent yeah see if I can get a better one I
heard Harvey Keitel
is all right I heard Liam Neeson sometimes the guy sometimes the guys are like
Keitel is so tiny
that you're like it might not have to be that big to look you right right right
Liam Neeson I'm not
surprised but he's a big imposing man six five six five he should have a
fucking big dick in your porn
to be able to I prefer it is it better if it's a big cock yeah it just it reads
because I'm very
cock driven so for me it's all about the cock and it is better when there's a
huge cock I like it
better yeah my girlfriend actually fuck Liam Neeson once that's respectful I
did fuck Liam
Neeson I was like um and I didn't ask but uh it sucks because now when I watch
Schindler's list
it's even sadder like oh this fucking prick yeah right now you have to hate him
did she never dated
him she just banged him no they went on like three oh they went out a couple of
times yeah there we go
so it's more than once yeah she said just once oh really she made him wait okay
I respect that
I can't see which one is James Woods the on the left that's on the right guy in
the far left I
literally can't I can't tell neither this is not very impressive so far oh no
um wake up wood um
yeah I think I can kind of see it hanging there in the shadow it's grainy not
bad I think it's a bad
quality pick it's a bad quality phone this is like we're watching porn from
1980s yeah this is old
school very old school this is VHS but anyway James was at the big dick Chaplin
had a big dick I heard
Charlie Chaplin did um yeah comedian with the biggest cock hands down I mean we
all want to just say our own
names like that's the dumb joke Milton Berle yeah the famous joke was like his
dicks on display at the
Friars Club on the second third and fourth floor like this great joke about it
someone challenged him
to a penis contest and he said I'll just pull out enough to win yeah yeah that's
a legend they all
know Milton had a huge cock for me a cock has to be over seven and a half
inches if it's not over seven and a half I don't care who you are or what you
do or how wide it is it's not a big dick so that's
bodes well for you well yeah I just made the cut Jim has a bigger dick than
people would think I've seen
it thank you yeah you showed me when I met you yeah it's a decent cock it's a
good cock thank you Mark
very much but again you look like a penis I have been with bigger dicks than
Jim's though sure I mean
that's always how you want to clarify it that's always the best way we could
have left it off and
just yeah of course you didn't have to throw that in yeah yeah the compliment
but then like all kidding
aside like you know this is on the lower end of the spectrum yeah but wow who
are we talking Quinn
I want to know Colin probably has a thick juicy cock you think so yeah because
when he grows out
his beard it just kind of grows everywhere sure like his dick did the same
through puberty you think
he's got a thick dick well he's got a big old square noggin on exactly I think
he has a fat cock
anyone else hard I don't know if Colin has a fat he never struck me as a guy
with a big dick me
neither no he struck me as a guy with a thin Irish I'm like analyzed it yeah
but I think the picture
of him is awesome it's the best that is my favorite picture is that Colin yeah
we're in Brooklyn on pills
wow he looks like a hipster yeah oh yeah Park Slope yeah he was a young man
then yeah let's see yeah
what Milton Berle Milton Chaplin James Wood for comedians um who has a big days
a comic I know I've
heard rumors about I've heard that Burt has a big neck Kreischer Burt's bulge
is not bad good yeah
Burt's got a pretty good bulge that's true oh Rogan is huge he's a big dick
another short guy though
yes have you seen it or you've heard I've seen it and he got out of the ice
bath which is even more
impressive that I can still see the h