Name: Ep 194: Dr. Phil & Santo Tequila (Adam Ray)
Uploaded: 2024-08-26T01:00:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 194: Dr. Phil & Santo Tequila (Adam Ray)' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 194: Dr. Phil & Santo Tequila (Adam Ray)' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-26. Transcript available.

Ep 194: Dr. Phil & Santo Tequila (Adam Ray)

hey folks here we are we might be drunk it is summertime and it's hot this
weather is making
me fucking sad oh i hate it it's my blood boiler it's fucking rough yeah i get
angry i get tens
people are bumping into you you have to shower eight times a day you're washing
clothes you know
me i don't like to wash clothing i hate it i don't have washer dryer in unit oh
yeah i do you know
what i'll do during the day i don't mind it but then at night that walk home at
night you're like
it's you're still doing it what's still hot it's still hot i know i know the
cool the night should
be cool yeah you don't have washer and unit in that castle no i'm building it's
in the building
oh it's in the building all right you don't allow it in unit all right that's
pretty damn good though
it works yeah i do drop off sometimes do you yeah i i'm new that's very new to
me but yeah
sometimes oh wow we're pushing on the lady fluff and fold is pretty nice fluff
and fold those those
i'll tell you fluff is all right they're fluffers i had a rough travel weekend
not as bad as our buddy
matt peter's here but both coming from florida you you are you mike yeah oh you
you drove from florida
yeah wow you were in orlando yeah orlando we had 11 o'clock flight on saturday
delta jet blue okay
11 a.m 11 a.m it got canceled they rebooked us on another flight that was
leaving at 8 p.m
oh that got delayed delayed delayed ah 12 30 then they canceled it then we went
to three hotels to
find a place to sleep they just wouldn't let you in any of them wait so you
didn't try ahead of time
you just showed up at the hotel i called and they were like we have five rooms
but they're first come
first serve first come first serve what is this fucking 1992 it was nuts we go
to the hotel and
they're like oh they're gone whoa so then i go to another hotel i get there
they're gone wow third
hotel finally get a room this by the way this is like how you get hooked on
like fentanyl
right it's like downtown orlando it's like oh yeah finally find a hotel we
sleep for like four hours get
up get a rental car and then just drive wow but there's something freeing once
you just once you
just accept the hell and you're like we're we're no longer beholden to these
fucking airlines that's
true but my my story is not gonna sound nearly as bad as your now that you just
said that but you're
still together with because that's divorce territory right there and that is
hell on earth it was close
we had some moments because it was like really so how was the uh the the jet
blue cover it no they
didn't they gave us a refund but they didn't give us anything because they're
saying it's weather
related it's it's bullshit though because it wasn't really weather related like
i mean at least in
new york like we took off but then we circled there were flights leaving to new
york dude we so we
i didn't have it as bad as you at all i mean you were texting us and we were
like i was like this is
fucking bad yeah but my buddy uh was supposed to come to the show on friday and
he's like i'm taking
a flight out because i don't trust this shit and he got out wow but once he
said that i saw the weather
dude get you know i'm on the road with gary veder he's like i want to go to joe's
stone crab
and i was just like let's see all right let's do it i caved i was like fuck it
little gary wants
joe's stone crab little gary gets joe's stone crab throwing his hat down and
jumping on it he gets
what he wants he's like the kid in a league of their own you know the fact he
was running up and down
the bus hitting people still well dude he so we're gonna go and then it's like
raining to the point
that i was like dude do you really want to do this he's like no fuck this so
even gary caved on that
then the next morning we wake up and like i had a lot of i had like probably
six manhattans the night
before so i was like kind of the first delay i'm like well four hours i'm fine
with that i'll sleep
in yeah i'm kind of grateful you're like fuck it but then we get it's delayed
another hour we get
there so it's now a five hour delay we're working with we're at the airport it's
a mess it's like
there's by the way there's like a a flight attendant in the in the uh lobby my
girlfriend says hi do
she's like where are you flying and she just like gives her a dirty look i'm
like oh this woman's in
a mood whoa would you would you believe she's our flight attendant on the
flight oh man we used to
have to worry about terrorists now they're on the plane by the way i was
thinking about that because
we're in the air we're just fucking circling we finally take off it's like five
hours late we take
off we start circling i'm watching a movie i'm watching challengers my
girlfriend keeps tapping
me she's like she's like why does it say two hours now instead of 120 i'm like
i'm watching a movie
and then i was like wait what two hours yeah that's longer than an hour 20 i'm
doing the math
then she goes uh she goes now it says dully's airport whatever in virginia i
was like wait what
and by the way there's a woman in our i know i know and there's a woman in our
row who's bat
shit crazy and won't shut the fuck up she just keeps going like like she's just
non-stop talking
she's screaming she's out of her she's an old lady who's out of her fucking
mind she's piss drunk
she orders a i shoot you not a champagne triple she was give me a triple i'm
like that's not a thing
wow you can get like a triple of scotch you don't get a triple that's three
drinks how long is that
flute it's crazy so i'm just like you're an idiot you're a trash bag drunk so
so so we just keep
circling and and i'm looking i'm like fuck i'm like oh yeah the moment of the
movie it's entertaining
it's whatever you know i'm like fuck it give me a drink so i start drinking
again i'm drinking off
this hangover with a little whiskey sodas and uh quadruple
we land and uh the woman's nuts she just keeps screaming and they go they
landed due to weather
stuff and she goes they're lying to you i'm like oh my god she's yelling they're
like yeah it's all
a big conspiracy miss uh and you control it but anyway you know the weather i'm
looking at the
weather new york it's fine so i am like maybe this fucking old bag's right i
don't know yeah
yeah but they're like we have to refuel now in in virginia so i'm just like
fuel that's at least
30 minutes in my head plus they're not going to do it immediately no in my head
i'm like we're
looking at least an hour at least we're landing jfk that's like an hour and a
half from home so i'm
kind of like we're looking at two and a half hours so my girlfriend's freaking
out i got winnie on my
lap and she goes she goes i need to get off this plane i don't want to do this
and i was like what
do you want to do rent a car and she goes yeah and i was like all right let's
do it at a certain
point so then gary goes uh i'm gonna take my chance on the flight i go respect
that's fine do what you
got to do you got kids to get back to i get it and this is dullest where's that
yeah we're in
virginia virginia yeah so we get on the car we in a rental car uh uh some guy i'm
this is how
fucking drunk and out of it i am at this point some guy on the air tram we're
trying to get to the
to the budget rent a car yeah she got a car some guy goes you look a lot like a
comedian i go oh yeah
and he goes are you that comedian i go oh yeah yeah and he goes uh he goes uh
how a bad travel day
i'm like these fucking people and she hits me i see he's got three kids with
him and his wife goes
no it's okay like it's that bad a day for everybody she goes no it's okay right
so she gave me like the
green light the curse i was like all right and uh we changed turns out he
worked with my uncle or
something in baltimore wow it just got back from like italy or something
no that's that's biological family my uncle uh the doctor oh yeah uh you know
good guy i'll see him in baltimore very soon and uh recovering from a stroke
love you uncle rob
still drinking baby yeah still going strong call it about bodega cat loving the
bodega cat
so we get to the uh we get to the budget rent the car and you know the lines at
the fucking door
it's insane it's like an hour wait just because everyone's trying to get out of
there yeah i mean
look we had nothing compared to you guys compared to other people they were
like we're lucky so
it's one of those things where we're just like all right wait in the line then
gary goes he texts me
they're still not taking off whoa like an hour he goes i'm rolling with you
whoa i go come hop on
that fucking shuttle meet me at the rental car he goes there he meets us there
it's been a while
we're still waiting for the car wow finally uh you know this little this little
mutt's running around
pissing and shitting outside the rent-a-car thing and getting anxiety just here
oh dude so then we we
get the car well it feels so good you just hit the music you're off on the road
little veeder set up
there's bluetooth he's djing he's on the dash like a hawaiian guy just like a
bobblehead
my girlfriend's like what are you guys 90 every song gary's like twisting the
night away you know
we're cruising and gary's moderating the plane the second we take off in the
car he goes
they took off
but it was like you know at that point we're like we made peace with it we're
controlling our own fate
yeah how many hours of drive is that we got in at like 2 a.m probably okay but
you know what five
hour drive yeah and we stopped we got mcdonald's she was going fucking nuts no
jokes i said hey i
bought you dinner buddy that's all i can say no we got mcdonald's really
fucking i hadn't had in a
while man the nuggets hold up i got a mcchicken too stunk stunk it's all bad it's
all bad the nuggets
are good though the nuggets still work i gotta say the fries are just like they're
just so good i don't
love them i love those mcdonald's fries people love them you don't love them i
don't know they're
this it's like cardboard they're soggy there's nothing going on there yeah i'll
take a rally's
fry any day i'll take a wendy's fry really but not mcdonald's not mcdonald's
just skinny and stick
i don't know not for me but my nugget give me a polynesian sauce or a honey
must or a bbq
how about sweet and sour same thing as polynesian oh is it i think
yeah well that's chick-fil-a i think okay yeah i like a little barbecue too oh
yeah i went yeah we
went to town had a fucking oreo mcflurry i feel like i fucking hate myself who
gives a shit i didn't
order it she ordered it took one bite and goes i'm done i go you fucking bitch
i just fucking
shoveled it in my mouth what you think i have willpower you didn't need a stone
crab but you're a
little crabby we got in late it was it was but at that point it becomes an
adventure and you're kind
of like as much as this day sucks you're like at least you're fucking at least
you get home it's a
john hughes film at the end of the day it's a comedy of errors you know you
made it work
yeah but those travel i mean you had the rough one that's rough that's rough
dude 20 hours we did four
hours each person drove four hours oof so it's only eight hours no we we
dropped off it was 15
15 hours straight no nap no nap oh i napped when she was driving she napped
when i was wow
15 hours doesn't seem that bad for orlando for some reason that's bad i mean it's
bad but it seems like
to florida yeah it does seem longer you still hug that coast i assume yeah damn
that's wild yeah i had
the thing about the flight delay is you go you get to the airport your flight's
at 11 you go oh they're
delayed an hour motherfucker then they get delayed four hours you're like i
would kill for an hour
delay it's funny how you just keep going back oh i'd kill for a five hour delay
because it keeps going
i did a sunday minneapolis i had a gig in rock rochester minnesota where the
mayo clinic is
rochester minnesota real dive real shithole so that night me and the opener
drove back to minneapoli