Name: Ep 204: Heather McMahan
Uploaded: 2024-11-04T02:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 204: Heather McMahan' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 204: Heather McMahan' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-04. Transcript available.

Ep 204: Heather McMahan

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, save it.
All right, you ready to rock?
Yeah.
Actually, can I get some of that milk, too?
Hold on, I'm good.
There we go, passing oat milk around.
This is getting wild.
Whoops.
All right.
Yeah.
Are we rolling?
Yo, yo.
Woo-hoo, we're here, we're queer.
It's good to be out of the house.
I know, I feel like we haven't actually just, like, caught up in a while.
Well, yeah, you're helping charity, I'm building a home, my parents are at the
house, the wife
is pregnant.
Sounds rough.
I got eight, I got a house of cards here.
The parents there, is that killing you?
Woo!
The house is a mess, you got eight Mexican guys fighting with Honduran guys,
and then the
Albanian guys hate the Honduran, it's a turf war.
Shouldn't have moved to little Honduras.
I know, there's a cockfight in the basement, I don't know what's going on, but
now you throw
my parents in, so my dad's, like, talking to the electrician, he's some Albanian
guy,
like, ooh, is that a little crooked?
The guy's like, get the fuck out of here, tell your father I cannot work like
this.
Dude, that is what parents do.
Yeah.
I was looking at my place, and my mom, like, I loved the place when I got it,
and my mom's,
like, looking through, like, well, this won't do.
Yes!
And the woman's there, like, who is this lady?
I'm like, lady's getting my price down right here.
Yeah, right.
But that's what parents do, they, because, but if you think about it, if you're
at that
age, any price sounds insane.
That's a good point.
Because when they did this shit, it was probably so much deeper.
That's true.
That's true.
And it's Manhattan, like, come on.
Yeah, she's, she's, she's out of the picture for too long.
And inflation, it's all up.
It's crazy.
But I'm loving the migrants.
Like, everybody's bitch about migrants.
Come to my house.
They're fixing everything for cheap.
I'm loving it.
That'd be great if they all just showed up.
I thought my parents were bad.
I got 6,000 migrants in my fucking backyard.
Well, they're ready to work.
Build that drywall.
They're cooking on the fire pit.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, they're cooking cat.
Oh, by the way, I played in the, I played in the.
Yes.
MSG charity game for Garden of Dreams.
Awesome fun.
The Rizzler.
This is the Rizzler.
Oh, this kid.
I thought that was Stavros.
I love he's got this move.
That's his move.
He's got one move, yeah.
But, dude, that move is making a lot of money.
I thought, is the Black Panther?
That's a little edgy.
The first take that did blackface.
Yeah.
Let's not do that.
Yeah.
Dude, we played in the game.
I don't know if I sent you one of the things of it.
Pull the picture of me and the Rizzler.
He's cute as hell.
I love this kid.
I like the Rizzler.
The other one, the other family's a little much.
The other dad who's just going boom the whole time.
Oh, yeah.
That's his whole thing.
Boom.
I used to say boom occasionally.
I used to say boom.
And now I don't say it anymore because he's like, it's like he's stolen it.
Yeah, well, once the dad starts doing it, it's like this shit.
What is it?
I don't even know how to do it.
The reverse Heil or whatever that was.
What was that again?
What do you call it?
The twink?
Dab.
Dab.
The dab.
Yeah.
I'm so sick of it.
Once you see a stepdad dabbing, you're like, all right, it's over.
It's not great.
Remember this one?
Oh, yeah.
The kids doing that one?
It is funny when the kids do it, though.
Look how cute.
He is a cute kid.
I was wondering why you were both doing that.
I thought it was a tough guy thing.
I sent the video to you.
You can roll some of that in the background.
It's pretty funny.
This is great.
You're on the floor.
Oh, dude.
We were playing.
It was hilarious.
Every legendary Nick was there.
And holy shit.
I was coming down with a cold, too, that I didn't realize until, because you
run in full
court.
Yeah.
For them, it's nothing.
Some of them are retired, so they're a little out of shape.
But I'm playing with Jamal Crawford.
This guy's been out of the league two years.
He dropped 50 in a game a couple years ago.
He was still good.
Wow.
So, he's in incredible shape.
And I'm like, I'm like really winded.
But I'm like, I'm normally winded.
But I'm like, wow, I'm like really winded.
After the game, my friend's like, dude, you're like, yeah, there I am.
So, you're like phlegmy as fuck.
Oh, really?
Wait, I think I saw New York Nico, was that?
No.
What's that guy?
That guy.
He does like the food stuff.
Cooj.
Meals by Cooj.
Yes.
Is that how you say Cooj?
He was cool.
And then I saw Vinny from the shore.
I was explaining Gary does, because you know, Gary Veeder on the road wants to
do Gary doesn't
miss.
And I'm explaining this to him.
And he's like, yeah, it needs a hook.
I'm like, that's what I've been doing, Gary.
Needs a hook.
Yeah.
Whoa, nice layup.
Hey.
John Wallet.
Wow.
Good times, dude.
Whoa.
Nice.
Who needs Vincenzo anymore?
We got you.
Look at this.
Fun times, dude.
Special Olympics.
Here we go.
This is adorable.
Big Justice and the Rizzler.
Now, they got to give you a name, like Bagel Man or something.
We need something for you.
The Flying Locks, Poppin' Locks.
Yeah.
No, good times, though, man.
I mean, and it's like 9,000 people there.
Wow.
It's crazy.
That's great.
He looks familiar, too.
Yeah, he's like a basketball influencer guy.
Yes.
Alan Houston, legend.
Wow.
Spreewell.
Spreewell.
Yeah, pretty cool.
Look at that.
The kids are out.
You're signing shit.
This is amazing.
Now, what is this?
This money goes to?
A lot of dreams.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, it's good stuff, man.
Wow.
Yeah, but.
Cup of Liberty over there, maybe?
No, some of the women were really good.
Uh-huh.
Some of them were cooking, man.
Good time to be in New York.
Hell of a time.
This is incredible.
Hometown boy makes good.
This is great.
Is the Rizzler from here?
They must be.
He better be.
He might be Long Island.
It's probably Jersey.
Okay.
Feels Jersey, doesn't it?
I could be wrong.
The dad the whole time going, boom!
We get it.
We get the game.
Yeah.
Everybody overdoes it.
Remember Emeril?
Bam!
Bam!
Everybody's going to have a thing, and they always overdo it.
Comedy.
He was working.
Okay.
Yeah, there it is.
We bring the boom.
Ah.
I mean, this shit's huge.
It's fucking, it's kind of, it's a bit much.
We're going to bring the boom!
We bring the boom!
Ah, good for them.
It's a family affair.
His dad is massive.
Wow.
His dad's on roids.
He must be.
He's huge.
You know what this, this fills the void of local car ads?
You know those local car ads like, come on down to Crazy Willys, we got sales
that'll
make a hooker shit, or whatever.
And that kind of went away, and these guys fill that void of like having a
catchphrase
and family.
Yeah, this is going to, I wonder how long it's going to last.
Like, how long can they possibly ride?
It is very one note.
Yeah.
I wonder how long, but right now people are like, no one got a bigger
pop than the Rizzler.
Wow.
Like, there were Knicks legends there, and then people were like, the fucking Rizzler?
Hey, let it ride.
You can't, you can't beat being a Knicks legend.
I know.
This is a great...
Oh, is this the Savannah Bananas?
Oh, these guys are huge.
They're pretty cool.
It's fun, man.
I was, I did a BP with Burt at their, uh, uh, at their stadium.
Oh, yeah.
Burt almost missed the gig, because he wanted to bat lead off as like a gag.
And I was like, that'd be the funniest reason to stand up your fucking fans.
Yeah.
You're like, I want to get a single in a fucking...
I'll tell you.
We did batting cages.
Burt can hit.
Burt, Burt's an athlete.
He's good.
Yeah.
He's a hell of a baseball player.
And skier, by the way.
Yeah.
I feel like Burt is just like good at stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is fucking...
He's huge.
This dad is huge.
It's also cute that these kids...
If this was my dad, I'd be like, ah, geez, what are you doing, dad?
Get out of here.
But these kids seem to be into it, so...
Oh, they're going to hit like 13.
They're going to go through that phase where it's like, fuck off, dad.
Yeah, but right now...
Right now, it's...
But also, he came up to me before and he's like, oh, I know you.
We did a gig together.
I was like, what gig could we...
We did a gig?
Yeah.
What gig did you do?
It was like years ago, we did a gig.
I'm like, what kind of gig would we have done?
Yeah.
I just blocked out a gig where I'm like, boom!
We're just flexing.
I'm like, oh, yeah, I did the flex boom gig.
Yeah.
Maybe you were hammered.
I don't know.
Either way, the IDF should pick that up.
Boom!
Another bomb!
All right.
Well, hey, that's great.
You're helping the community and you're out on...
You get to do...
It's a win-win.
It's good for charity and you get to be on the fucking garden floor.
We got to find some footage.
I'm sure if you can find some footage of Jamal Crawford playing in that game
because, dude,
this guy is fucking unbelievable.
I mean, maybe you can just find any footage of him just to show how
unbelievable this guy
is, but he's a street ball guy who made the NBA.
Not really.
He's like an organized player, but he's that type of game.
He can handle the ball.
Oh, nice.
Super nice guy, too.
Wow.
But, uh...
What do we got to do to get Ewing down there?
Ewing's part of the Knicks again, dude.
They brought him back.
What?
He's like part of the family now.
I forgot what his job title is, but he's doing something for the Knicks.
It's fucking...
Wow, that's great.
It's just good to have him back in the orbit.
Dude.
Fuck yeah.
I don't know.
So, uh...
But are you loving the new home right now?
I mean, it's pretty great, but it's...
You know, this faucet doesn't work, you know, and that light switches out.
So there's little things like that.
I'm living out of a suitcase.
But...
But you...
I mean, you have the stuff in there.
We're in there.
You have the furniture.
Furniture's in.
But, you know, coats are in one box.
My toothbrush is in another thing.
I'll tell you, having a...
Being a road guy, having your suitcase is huge.
That's him right there.
I mean, look at that.
Woo!
Shake and bake.
I mean, beautiful.
Wow.
Yeah, dude.
Living out of a suitcase is fucking...
It's unacceptable.
It's hell, but...
But that's our life, too.
I know.
Even when I'm moved in, I'm kind of living out of a suitcase.
Yeah, that's kind of how I am.
But I'm saying it worked out because she doesn't know where anything is.
But, like, the little shit, like the remote.
I just put the remote in a box and packed it and moved.
So now I got the TV all set up.
I'm like, here we go.
I got the cable on.
The Alexa's cooking.
The modem's running.
Where the hell is that remote?
You use Alexa?
I do.
You're the only dude.
What else?
You use TiVo?
Boom!
Uh-oh.
You use Alexa.
Alexa is horrible.
I love it.
I go, what's the weather, bitch?
And she tells you.
For some reason, I love that weather.
That's all I use it for.
You're going back to the Rizzler wrapping.
You pull that back up.
Can we get him in here?
I mean, I'm not allowed near him.
But I'd love to get him in here.
The remote not working is...
Or not having the remote is...
Luckily, my girlfriend packed all that shit in a box.
So it's like, I would have lost it, dude.
Women are good.
But then you also run the risk of...
You tape it to the TV.
Now it's like all fucking gross.
Right, right.
Yeah.
It's got that goo on it, which we're no strangers to a sticky remote.
But I finally found it.
But TVs now, they're all flat and skinny.
And you got them on the wall.
So there's no buttons.
You're feeling it up like a preteen.
And you need the remote now.
I know.
I do miss that.
Just not knowing where...
Now you need an actual remote.
You have to have it or the TV's worthless.
It's so weird.
So I finally found it.
Now we've been...
Once you got a TV going and there's boxes everywhere, it still feels like a
home.
I know.
You know, you're like, oh, we can watch a game or a movie or something.
Just background.
Just having some background.
Totally.
Yeah, but also it's like crazy sports season right now.
So just having any football,