Name: Ep 206: Ari Shaffir & Adrienne Iapalucci
Uploaded: 2024-11-18T02:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 206: Ari Shaffir & Adrienne Iapalucci' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 206: Ari Shaffir & Adrienne Iapalucci' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-18. Transcript available.

Ep 206: Ari Shaffir & Adrienne Iapalucci

hey folks here we are we might be drunk no winnie but we got another bitch all
right
we got adrienne iapaloochee one of our faves and she's got a new special on netflix
yes what's the
name the dark queen hey i like that i let our name it ah he always called you
that he always
called me that yeah so it kind of just stuck and i was like you're laying out
all this money so
i'll let you pay for all of it he laid it all out and then he was like i was
like i hope we sell
this otherwise i'm gonna owe you a lot of money no wonder he's doing pop-up
shows for yankees tickets
yeah damn wow good for him but it paid off you bet on yourself and it worked i
mean unlike p rose
that's true so you you sold it i mean can we talk about the odds ari's ugly you're
a nobody
louie's producing these are a lot of strikes against you director produce louie
directed oh sorry
yeah it's just it should have been no all across the board but you pushed
through and you won i was
actually shocked we all were i mean i'm happy i was very shocked yeah you
deserve it though you have
great jokes of course there's a joke here is i've quoted on the pod numerous
times i'll say it again
the one where your ex-boyfriend threatened to kill himself oh yeah right now i
can't kill myself
oh yeah that's a good one i like that perfect i love just like a short joke
short yeah no fat i love
it that the ted bundy joke i love oh i love the uh the the shooter that was a
big one oh that's all
ash wednesday that's on it ari ari wants me to put it on there and i was like i
didn't want to do it
because it's from my album and he was like please and i was like all right you
are paying for this so
i put it on there yeah well and it did do great yeah yeah well correct me if i'm
wrong that was
cut from your netflix half hour that was cut from my netflix they asked you not
to do it they told me
that joke had to get cut out look at that i was like can i fight for it they
were like no well i asked my
marriage i was like can i fight for it she's like no damn nice when a joke gets
cut though because
you just you get it back i got it back it's true that happened with my amazon
they asked me not to
use one i was like all right i get to open with it now yeah good point my
opener's like you want to
hear when they cut and it gets like a bigger pop they made me cut the first six
minutes though
jesus first six the first six minutes got cut that's hilarious your most
offensive shit is what
you opened with it's no that's not the most offensive stuff that is the stuff
that is the nicest
and sets the tone because i was like this might go on youtube yeah and they
were like we want to get
to people being upset quicker oh they didn't say that specifically but they're
like we just know
the algorithm and people will check out so they're like cut the first six
minutes so like the first
choke is pretty tough it was too soft for them so they're like get rid of it i
think they're just
like you're nobody and if you're nobody and you're doing these jokes that kind
of aren't like
i guess i don't know whatever they say whatever they think yeah because it's
like
because it's like the first joke is about shelter dogs and then i go right into
the middle east so
they're like we want to get to that right away and i was like all right well
this is a good comedy
lesson i feel like you're you're half hour you were just adrian this one you're
like i'm the dark queen
so they want the dark shit maybe but i feel like that was also dark but i've
seen our word clean i mean
you did a letterman set back in the oh i did yeah that's right i'm not really
dirty it's just dark
right like i always get lumped in with dirty comics and i'm not super dirty the
half hour you did was
the dirty show right well it was only like 17 minutes uh that was just the
degenerates so that
was like their version of the dirty sure but like also they already oh uh i
always think it's funny
that they cut that joke from the degenerates i know like it was too degenerate
for them exactly
hilarious oh here you are oh my god let's not play this oh 13 you can't do this
joke on netflix uh
next up ted bundy murders i know right that's their algorithm yeah let's see it
can we see a clip
what are we doing this for the public the public wants to see it we want to get
let them get to
know you uh-oh we're off on sound but this is a great i remember the police or
the fireman joke
uh the female cop joke female cop that was a good one and the chapstick the
chap yes
chapstick what was the female cop joke again is basically they can you do uh
this is like torture
oh this is like what no i don't get it it's fine i wouldn't want to watch me
either um something about
like two cops it's like i'll just do this myself oh yes female cops show up you're
like now we're all
gonna get robbed great yes my lady loves that joke and that's when i was like
she might be a keeper
she gets it was dave cool he's very cool he's very nice yeah it's a good
distinction between dark and
dirty because i did a show uh i did a show somewhere at a youth group or
something and this young black
kid was like i have a show in harlem it's at my church group you got to be
clean i said no problem
and i went up there and i said so my gay roommate and he's in the back going
and i didn't know they they don't fuck with that right they don't fuck with
just mentioning a gay
guy no they're like don't don't be gay no you can't be like you can't be gay
that's hilarious and
this is harlem in 2012 or something right but that's not even you're like i'm
not saying anything
dirty but it was just the gay mention was out i mean there's like a couple of
jokes in there
where i'm like saying some dirty stuff but like yeah overall people just assume
if you're dark you're
like a dirty comment i i'm always lumped in with that yeah i've seen you like
when
it goes south and it's kind of funny to watch oh for sure because the types of
jokes you do aren't
just like you're not just bombing but they're like mad at you yeah they're
always mad yes that's true
it's not like they just aren't into it they're upset which also i feel like it
gives me so much
power like when somebody gets up and leaves a show where it's like you came
here and now i'm making
you so upset where you can't even stay right so anytime somebody leaves i feel
like it's a compliment
damn i don't even take it as offensive i'm like you are giving me so much power
right
you do the same in your personal life you're like i'm fucking awesome i'm i'm
great i'm killing it
right now is it give me give it to me straight 98 women who get mad oh yeah i
don't know if any
men have ever gotten yeah i think that is i don't know i think it's a female
nurturing weird thing
like this is over the line this is inappropriate whereas men are like hey this
is fun what's inappropriate
that usually does it is there one i don't know i it depends where i'm at i
remember i was just talking
about this with jared like i was in the south in dallas and like i walked like
20 cowboys on a
military joke whoa and they stayed they stayed like my whole set it was like 90
done and then that was
their thing where they're like i'm out it is weird because it's like if you if
someone's telling dark
jokes one thing's gonna hit you i know but they stayed for so long no that's my
point it's weird to have a line
when you're like okay laughing at everything else but i think what i was saying
particularly was right
and they were mad that it was right what do you remember what it was it's in
the special it's
something about how we don't really care about people in the military like oh
and they're and like
they were they were mad and there was two military guys the one here and one
here and this guy got mad
and this one was like you're right oh i don't remember the jokes it's a while
ago but something
like that how we don't actually give a about them i think that's that helps
them that's like raising
awareness i know but like i guess these people like no we do it's like i've
dated a lot of guys in
the military they're like a hot mess oh well for sure it's like mental stuff
just keep them there
if you take them they belong there now yeah this joke is personal to you right
sure yeah i mean i
remember remember bill hicks had that joke where he's like i'm in the weird
position where i'm for
the war but against the troops that's a great joke it's very funny damn well
you know what it's kind
of like it's kind of like jail you know these guys will murder everybody they'll
kill their wives
they'll beat the shit out of women but if you a kid they're like whoa we're
gonna kill you now
but like you guys are all hardened criminals you murderers but that's their
line that's their line
yeah that's there's a there's a line there's always a line i mean i i'm sure
you've heard my
story i did a show in kentucky a lady came up to me she's like you got to stop
saying retard i have
retarded niece or whatever and uh i was like well what'd you think of the holocaust
joke she goes
those were great right yeah so it's just their thing yeah by the way retards
didn't do great in
the holocaust either that's true good point by the way they rounded up a couple
uh black and gay as
well but they don't get any uh they don't get any any they need a publicist don't
get enough love yeah
because it was what is it you kill one guy it's a murder you kill a bunch it's
a statistic
is that it i don't know all right yeah it's uh it is weird when people just
have that line i i've
listened before but then sometimes we'll just they it's their thing like jews
will do it to me with
they're like what you said is anti-semitic i'm like no it's not yeah but if you
feel that way yeah
there's no way that's your opinion that's the thing it's your opinion i mean i've
had people
i have like walked somebody on like a ukraine joke this is back when people
cared about that yeah
you know things keep changing i know right about changing but like yeah it
depends what their line
is and what their thing is the death of one man is a tragedy that's my hero we
need more stalin jokes
on that he's my uh background my phone background okay i have a joke about how
you ever see how hot
stalin was when he was younger yes let's pull it up so hot stalin is pretty
sexy a lot of young
powerful people uh they look good yeah well kids are hot yeah wait what i mean
oh yeah look at that
hot jake gyllenhaal holy i know
oh yeah good looking guy that's great that's great post maloned him that's a
good time yeah young
people are attractive not all though that's true hayley joel osmond some kids
peak yeah some kids
like the rizzler i think this is as good as it's gonna get oh 100 but he's he's
a fat kid what can
he do though this yeah so like after that now i guess porn he's gonna be a
comic-con at 30 yeah he's
gonna be 500 pounds and he's just like and they're like yeah it doesn't really
do it anymore hayley joel
osmond got uglier and i hate to say it dakota fanning dakota fanning was a cute
kid and she uh grew
up and you're like oh she's gonna be hot i bet she's okay she's okay it is
weird though to say she's
gonna be hot i bet it the feeling of the the scouting feeling yeah that's a
tough one good
that's a tough one but we all think it yeah what about the kid from jerry mcguire
was there a cuter
kid on the planet than that son of a bitch with the glasses and the spiky hair
he went the other way
though he got like prison ripped did he i think so wait i want to see look how
cute that is he's cute
there yeah there's also something really cute about a kid with glasses yes look
at him now though
look at look in the corner in the right oh no disgusting that's a bummer too
many people pinched
his cheeks as a kid and he was like you never again yeah i guess so he also
didn't grow much
he's almost the same height that's like disgusting i think that's more of what
it is i'm short i gotta
be buff yeah because i'm tiny it's like when guys go bald and they grow a bea