Name: Colin Quinn - Tom Papa - Liz Furiati with Mark Normand & Sam Morril
Uploaded: 2024-11-25T02:00:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Colin Quinn - Tom Papa - Liz Furiati with Mark Normand & Sam Morril' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Colin Quinn - Tom Papa - Liz Furiati with Mark Normand & Sam Morril' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-25. Transcript available.

Colin Quinn - Tom Papa - Liz Furiati with Mark Normand & Sam Morril

*music*
Cheers, good to see you.
Hey Mazel, comedy.
Ah, beautiful. Thank you.
I know your special's out too, you get it.
I'm turning up my thing.
Geez.
Are we rolling?
It's diva. Oh yeah, we're on, we might be drunk.
Hey, well I have two new specials out.
Oh yeah, Tom, you got one?
I have a special out too.
You too Tom, that's great.
Yeah.
Let me guess, they're both Netflix?
They're both Netflix.
Mine on YouTube.
Oh, I thought they were both Netflix.
No, that was a zing.
YouTube is good too.
Oh yeah.
And we have a Winnie replacement this week, Gizmo.
You can read all the comments.
She got Aunt Viv'd, which is upsetting, but you know.
She'll be back, Winnie will be back.
This is far superior.
So adorable.
Oh.
Don't, that's not fucking cool.
That's a girthy beast.
Winnie rules.
Winnie's, I love Winnie.
I spend a whole day with Winnie.
You have a problem with Gizmo, Tom?
No, Gizmo's cool because he stands.
Yeah.
Winnie's an old bird, dude.
Winnie.
Gizmo is not young.
See now.
Winnie just kind of hangs like an Afghan.
Yes.
Just like a throw blanket.
Martini okay?
You mean an Afghani?
Thank you.
They were criticizing the delusions.
This is a great martini.
Good job.
I'm so happy I'm having this.
Solid.
It was a train wreck.
That was a bad martini.
That was the worst martini I've had in my life.
It was an oily, he made an, it was beer juice.
He made an oily.
Oh yeah.
It was bad brine or something.
Liz, he poured all of the oily juice from the Luchieve stuffed olive container.
It was a P. Diddy.
That's why I brought the filthy brine as well because it's very nice and clean.
This is very clean.
And again, I know how diva you are.
That is a real grown up, elegant martini.
Very nice.
Smooth.
Nice job.
Oh, look at that man weirdo on the left.
Yeah.
Look at that chubby guy over there.
Could have buttoned up down low.
Well, he's been fired since then.
Yeah.
Isn't that the little tall guy?
Yeah.
Beer juice.
That was like 6'7".
Yeah.
He was really off his game.
I don't know.
He was a good bartender.
He's been fired.
Don't rub it in.
Yeah, what happened?
The bartender.
Budget cuts?
They fired him.
Yeah, yeah.
It was Tom's fault.
Tom does that.
I do get people fired.
He's done that at the olive tree too.
Who'd you get fired at the olive tree?
Yeah, Tom.
What?
Just people who don't do their jobs.
Tom.
Whoa.
Mody?
No.
Nice.
Yeah.
Tom's a diva.
Once in a while, I'll just point out, like, is anyone working this table?
She's like, no.
Alex Edelman.
Oh my god.
You can only dream.
I love it already.
And then you don't see them again.
Yeah.
Damn.
It's not like I'm asking for them to be fired.
That's really up to the management.
Sure.
He's like an efficiency expert from the early 60s.
Great.
Yeah, you're not full Karen.
You'll just dance around Karen-ing.
Damn.
See, Winnie does stay put.
I'll give her that.
He's too big to lay on the couch.
Yeah.
And he smells all food.
All food.
He just wants food.
I'm not gambling now, but if $50, you can't name who Mark Norman is staring at
in that picture.
Oh, damn.
I'll give you any one of five names.
You have five choices.
You think you know?
Do I think I know?
Of course I do.
I know.
You know that wall too well.
I know that wall.
I know that wall too well.
The headshot?
Oh, really?
Harry Spears.
I think he's on there, by the way.
No, he's not.
I believe he is.
He might have one of the old-
Is that Wanda Spite?
Spite?
No, no.
She's over by the door.
Is it Artie?
No.
Artie?
Is it Artie Fuqua?
Ah.
Artie says yes.
Oh, there you go.
I'll say it was Artie surrounded by Brian Regan.
Wow.
No?
I know it's the big Artie.
Kyle Donegan.
Artie because it's the big Artie.
Yes.
It's like the old Artie.
The young Artie.
Yeah, like the-
Pre-crash.
Right.
Free in Walmart.
Like it's cocaine dealer Artie.
Right.
Yes.
Before the cash.
Yeah.
I remember one time, a famous night at the cellar, Artie comes in, he's all
banged up
and he goes, "I just got to fight with seven drag queens at McDonald's."
Those days are over.
Now you bought the McDonald's.
Yeah.
No more Mickey D's.
Wow, what a shame.
Yeah.
What a loss.
You have drag queens to throw down with.
Oh man.
That was the wildest McDonald's in America.
That was the world star McDonald's.
That's right.
Yeah.
No more absorbed into the comedy seller universe.
I shouted out my special.
Oh, really?
Yeah, you did.
Yeah, you did.
It just came out today, so I saw the first 20 minutes on my walk over here.
Hilarious as always.
Thanks.
The election special, Colin Quinn.
Yeah.
Five months from his last special.
Unreal.
Bring it up.
Bring it up.
You had a line I love where you talk about how you talk about these people.
Everyone has their opinion.
They're like, well, who are you?
You're up here giving your own opinion.
You're a hypocrite.
You're like, you never met a hypocrite?
I just love that line.
That's a great line.
Hey, look at this.
Yeah, homeless doing a little magic there.
Throwback.
Throwback.
A little homeless.
Oh, yeah.
A little homeless pimp.
Yeah, homeless pimp.
That's not him.
Look at that.
Another guy worked at McDonald's.
Oh, he's running for president?
Oh.
That's Eric Rivera.
Hello.
Whoa.
Look at RFK.
So recent.
Did you get footage at the MSG?
Homeless did this.
Oh, this is great.
Were you at the garden the other night?
No.
What?
He wrote for Tony.
Oh, Tony's joking.
Stamps and tees.
Oh, that's so good.
Wait, is that the lounge?
That's the lounge.
Wow.
Who shot it?
It looks great.
Homeless pimp.
Pay attention, Tom.
Homeless pimp.
I'm sorry, Liz.
Jesus.
Get with it, Tom.
A much-needed voice, Colin.
Always.
Tom, you're behind the curve.
You're out there in LA.
You don't know who's on the wall.
That's true.
Tom Papa, LA comic.
Boo.
Yeah, when he comes to the cellar,
he takes over the whole front section.
And gets people fired.
Mm-hmm.
Well, he got people fired.
That was years ago.
I don't think Tom has done that lately.
No.
Well, they made the lounge look good.
I mean-
They're amazing.
Not you.
You're careful to shit on both sides,
which is good, because that is-
Well, let's not say I'm careful to.
That's how I feel.
Sam, I don't want people to think I'm out there
trying to straddle the thing.
Oh, the outside part.
You know what I mean?
Like, there's a lot of political-
Because that's how I feel.
I know.
I hate when people say both sides are.
It's like, yeah, because I don't-
You want to be with machetes in the street,
you motherfuckers?
That's what a non-both-sizer is.
Good point.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
Wait, what is this?
What's this part?
The audience outside and took them on a tour of the village with CQ.
Whoa, I'll be fast-forwarding that.
Wow, tour.
No, it's good.
All right.
Sam knew ahead of time, but we're talking about it.
This looks like a COVID special.
So you could shoot another special in five months if you do a lot of stuff like
that.
Tom is getting lamped.
Really?
Tom, really?
That's funny.
That's my old apartment.
Oh, that's right.
I actually lived there for a couple of years.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
What's his favorite?
What's the Jewish baseball player?
Sandy Copeland.
He lived there.
He did?
Yeah.
How sad is that, by the way?
You said, "Who's the Jewish baseball player?"
And I got it that quickly.
You got the 50-1.
A race isn't exactly killing it.
Oh, yeah, you never heard of Ron Boomer Bloomberg.
He was a Yankee star in the '70s.
Oh.
Sean Green.
What's that?
Hammer and Hank Greenberg.
There's a few.
Hank Greenberg.
There you go.
Really good.
That's back, that's pre-black.
What about Harmon Killebue?
What did you talk about on Moneta?
What did you talk about on Moneta?
What did I talk about on Moneta?
Yeah.
I talked about the world star hip-hop McDonald's.
We did.
Oh, okay.
I had a bunch of stories.
It was kind of unrelated to the special.
It was, but it was like the CQ man on the street, like block by block combined
with election specials.
I like those Instagram videos you do when you have those old guys from the
neighborhood.
That's homeless.
Wow.
Also, Tom, it's not Instagram videos.
It's a series on YouTube.
Oh.
Would you pay attention, please?
Yeah, Tom.
I got up with it, Tom.
I didn't realize Liz was in management.
Oh, my God.
This is Colin Quinn.
And you haven't been around in a long time.
Liz has always is kind of mad.
Yeah, it's true.
There goes that.
That's the shrink.
Do you guys go to him?
Yeah, Alan.
Yeah, big L.
Yeah, you interviewed Alan Lefkowitz, the comedian psychiatrist.
I've seen him.
I saw him for years.
You did?
You went to him?
I was so tempted to ask him, but I couldn't do it.
You know, he wouldn't give any advice, but I was so tempted to know everything.
Did you go to him?
No.
What?
What made you want to sit down with him?
He's good.
Homeless Pimp goes, "We should interview that guy."
I go, "That's a great idea."
Geez.
He love homeless.
Yeah, he's great.
Come on.
We love homeless.
No, I didn't go to him, but I wanted to interview him.
I used to have a joke about going to him, how it sucked as so many comedians
would be seeing him.
So I'd be in the waiting room and I'd hear a laugh and I'd be like, "Fuck, I
gotta bring it again this week."
But it was literally every comic would just come out of the door and be like, "Oh,
you."
Every one.
You pour your heart out about getting molested and you're like, "Oh, hey, Becky
Owen."
I don't know why that was getting a laugh.
And you guys are with the same story.
Yeah, yeah.
It is amazing that it was--
Amazing.
I think his first was Richard Lewis.
That's what he said.
That's what he said, yeah.
That's what he said, yeah.
There was an article about him in Esquire about Alan, yeah.
Whoa.
So he's chasing the fame now.
Yeah, it's unbelievable.
It was a while ago.
Oh, my God.
Hey, look at that.
It's crazy.
How about Tom Popper on Cop Show?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, what year was that?
That was an episode to really sink your teeth into.
That was a good one.
I think I really exposed Tom as the bossy pants that he is.
Well, you were ahead of the curve with the cop parody because Brooklyn Nine-Nine
kind
of ripped that from you.
Yeah.
Don't bring it up.
Don't pick Snay on the 9A.
But Brooklyn Nine-Nine's not really a cop parody.
Hmm.
There were versions they tried and failed, but Brooklyn Nine-Nine is more of
like a, I don't
know what you would call it.
It's like a sitcom, but in a cop.
It was more like a workplace comedy.
Right.
It was a cop parody.
Yeah, it was a cop parody.
Wow.
Pre-stroke Keith.
Oh, pre-stroke Keith.
Yeah.
Look at that.
Wow.
Non-handicap Keith.
Keith, man, Tom just cock-blocked him in that scene.
It was pretty funny.
That was so great.
Great show.
A lot of views.
Great show.
Makes me furious.
Sorry.
So Tom, is it a special, did it come out yet or is it tonight?
It came out today.
Whoa.
What time?
Midnight.
Whoa.
Oh, so it's out?
We can watch it?
It's out.
When does this come out though?
Late November.
Oh, yeah.
Happy Thanksgiving.
It's been around for a while.
Check it out.
It's been around for a month.
Oh, sorry.
Where'd you shoot it?
In Jersey?
I shot it in Washington, D.C.
Oh.
At the Warner Theater.
That's a good room.
It's a classic room.
Yeah, it looks nice.
Anytime something wasn't funny, I just shot the ceiling.
It's pretty, right?
Yeah.
And you're pretty clean, right?
Yeah, I'm pretty clean.
No curses?
That was my last one.
No, he does.
He has like...
That was what a day.
Okay.
Yeah, I don't curse all that often, I guess.
All right.
But that's a conscious choice though, right?
I don't really talk like that in my real life.
So like to do it in my acts is kind of like phony.
Like when I started at the cellar and like in the beginning and all these guys
are so cool
and I would go up there and like try and be a little dirty and stuff.
And the audience is like, what are you doing?
Right.
Like they didn't even know me.
What's the deal with fucking sponges, dude?
They were like, what are you doing?
This isn't really you.
But I think you're going out with the Gaffigan-Seinfeld arena tour.
I am going to go do some dates with them in Canada.
Whoa.
What?
I n