Name: Andrew Santino LA Stories with Mark Normand & Sam Morril
Uploaded: 2025-01-13T02:00:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino LA Stories with Mark Normand & Sam Morril' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino LA Stories with Mark Normand & Sam Morril' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-13. Transcript available.

Andrew Santino LA Stories with Mark Normand & Sam Morril

yeah hey the casting guys who's room is this it's me i'm a pig i'm sorry this
is how you live huh
it's how i travel
okay i gotta tell you guys something man yeah save it this is very um save it
save it okay
unless it's not pod worthy no i'm just making fun of you oh please yeah yeah
save it then zing
staying here how about that shallow moo on theo huh that's quite a get what
happened he got timothy
shallow moo oh yeah tim chalamet yeah that's well dude he got the president
elected so you know
what's chalamet if you get the president elected good point what uh are we
hugging close here look
at my voice i love it you're the only guys i know that'll uh is that young mj
look at that
that's pretty cool oh brawny oh watch it dude what the hell watch it dude no
his son his son is
actually more accomplished his son larsa pippen wow that's right so cool to
your your ex-teammates
your your father's ex-teammates ex-wife it's it's pretty dark but didn't she
hey are we rolling yeah we're rolling what the hell didn't she jump around a
lot she jumped around
but i'm sure i'm sure i'm sure it's her revenge tour because he was doing it
during the plane days
and she's like i'll get you back take it to the hole good for her dude oh
nothing but net oh yeah
you guys are the only guys i know that'll stay downtown los angeles well nobody
stays they put us
here yeah we weren't thrilled netflix yeah seems like it that sounds like a netflix
move
put it in a place that no one lives and nobody goes yeah so put us in covina
that is too inside yeah that's very inside l.a inside baseball now this is the
bad
i did it as a cake a while back and they put me up in a shady
fucking downtown like you walk to two feet out and you're just like oh
needles this this is like uh this genuinely is like as if somebody put if i
went to new york
and they're like yeah we got you a great place out in long island that's what
exactly is that bad
it was just nobody goes down here tim dylan said this is the fifth time he's
been downtown los angeles
and he's lived here for years yeah well no he comes for different reasons there's
a little
there's a little walking strip for him down there down by uh staples there's a
little boys town did
you go by staples or uh what is it called now uh kobe center crypto crypto
crypto oh i didn't even
know you're talking i was like it's right down the street yeah wow it is no
this is really it's a no
it's downtown's gotten nicer but i still we still refuse to go down here there's
nothing here for us
i tweeted about the show like come to the netflix table and everybody's like
downtown are you crazy
what's happening down here yeah that's why we're here yeah three minutes away
smart smart for netflix
good for netflix dude good to be here boys the jokes were good last night thank
you i loved working
on them dude it's funny to watch you guys go through it and then have you smack
each other when you're
like see that did work because we were writing together the whole flight but it
is funny that you were
like certain certain jokes uh um let's see i have no back on this i'm like
gonna fall into this
window can i scoot this thing over or no is it out of frame because i'm like
falling through this
oh yeah you got no back hold on you're gonna pull an eric clapton's kid right
up the window
in the grocery store the other day it's a depressing grocery store song
depends on what you're what you're shopping for if you're really having a low
oh we'll wait we'll wait
hold on sorry it's still i had to move but i had to have a back because
otherwise i'm gonna fall
backwards through the still better than when you hear a wap at the dentist no i
love that that gets
me ready for a tea's cleaning dude gotta suck that that uh liquid um how about
this we're growing up
where you came here at 11 a.m i wouldn't do anything at 11 a.m four years ago
see i'm not the i've always
been this way i i'm not like the comic i don't sleep in till 2 3 p.m really i
don't do it no i don't
know why i sleep i get up at like 7 30 every day wow what about the drinking
nights still damn you
gotta go up and go jump in the jump in the cold plunge do you do the plunge i
love it are we douche
bags yeah yeah yeah it's over the organs dude i'm 41 years old i'm not trying i'm
not trying to be
cool anymore it's i'm done i play with my dog i go in the cold plunge i play
with my dog in the morning
how cool do you make it so the it's set at 40 anywhere from 46 to 49 i think it's
the highest it's not that
bad no for when it's 42 is my like right below right above 40 is like that's
when it gets you
your dick disappears it's in my body fascinating it is cool to see how small
your dick can get
it's amazing i already know i don't need the plunge
if i was going to get into a fight in this day and age i'd want to get into a
cold plunge first
get your dick close to your body my dick looks like a puppy's tail
it's brutal a little wag like the chop tail it is nice that your body's like
hey we're going to
protect your dick in this time of trauma so your balls go way up that's nice it
is kind of scary
when they kind of go in your body they go in your body yeah it's weird for
safety dude it's kind of
like when your kid gets molested he blocks it out repress memory you want to
tell us something sure
it was 81. you weren't touched as a kid were you i wish i was come on tell me
the truth no i don't
think so i had a lot of intruders in the house yeah because you had that house
that's like the house
of horror you had like a haunted house of completely i think there was a guy at
my house once and like
walked by my bed and i pushed it out because i i dream about that all the time
i went to your
city i was just in new orleans great city interesting it's got ups and downs
comedy city but great city
comedy city i don't know why it's so weird how'd it go did you sell any tickets
i did a little bit
we chat we texted because i was like dude i can't sell your city for some
reason like the whole tour
is sold out and i couldn't i did fine i think i ended up like eight that's me
thank you and i
don't want to share with you not after what you did last night yeah um i think
it was like 80
something not 89 90 oh that's good for new orleans that's huge yeah dude it was
so hard but the crowd
was great so i was like i don't know i think the people that do come out really
really want to see
comedy yeah i think it just doesn't have it embedded in the culture no there's
not a comedy club no i
know but there's never have been there has been right they open and close so
what's the main what's
that main drag the parade was going on bourbon no no no not bourbon street the
bigger one it's a
four-lane canal yeah that is like grand theft auto live dude that's insane it's
gross it's wild
we went to get some uh my my laura peak who opens with me dude she's so good
she's great and great
she wanted to go get some smokes and i said all right let's go so we go out we're
gonna go get
lunch and get some cigarettes and i was like dude let's just post made it i don't
want to be on the
canal it's it was chaos it's wild it's zombie it's zombie daylight fentanyl slumping
yes and they're
all yelling at you see the homeless here don't yell at you the trick is to just
jog everywhere
yes i'm sprinting because they're not going to mug you when you're jogging that's
true
yeah it's i don't want to deal with that it's not worth it it's true yeah yeah
no it was a fun city
but it's also um it's it's wilder than new york it's so interesting man yeah
yeah it's just a
i can't figure it out like i can't wrap my head around what it is what's it
called the funeral like
the second line the cemetery where they did easy rider you know oh yeah yeah
that's we passed out i'm
like that's fucking crazy just it's just a cemetery just like above above
ground mausoleums because
of the flooding yeah yeah it'll happen again yeah during katrina there were
bodies floating
wow it's a it's a voodoo anybody anybody you knew anybody you recognize Andrew
jackson and uh
paul perdom and emerald was in there i think emerald lagasi he's gone no he's
still around he will be
yeah i mean that cholesterol is coming bam he's like one of the fat ones you
gotta be a fat well bobby
flay is like in great shape yeah see i don't trust a skinny chef yeah skinny
chef is a weird
exactly if you're a female chef and you're skinny fine but if you're a fat you're
if you're a skinny
male chef i just i don't i don't know what do you what are you focusing on it's
not actually
pussy yeah bobby flay shows like one chef and one young actress he's fucking to
the judges yeah
his daughter is like a famous something somebody told me i don't know if she's
a chef or something but
she's famous something and she's apparently good looking so she's next to it he's
a hunk
well his ex-wife was the hot lady from law and order right oh that's right no
no no no no no the
blonde one yeah i don't remember he wasn't pulling detective poon he was
pulling d.a poon entry entry
level buddy you got to move up dude boys how's the bodega cat hey we're cooking
we're in the store
now the factory we finished the bottle yeah i don't know why i said all right
it's moving for sure like
laugh factory improv and comedy store are all gonna come on yeah that's great
man that is fantastic
no i think it's it's funny because it's like starting a brand starting your own
is so tough
and i know bert and tom tried to they're doing vodka i think yeah yeah we
appreciate it i mean they
bert even said he's like we don't want to step on you guys with the whiskey so
we're doing vodka which
you know come on that's very nice it's tough i have zero interest in vodka oh i
like a vibe i like a
martini but like but then but the real martini people will tell you you're fooling
yourself it's
not a martini with vodka it's only a martini with gin yeah vodka is an alcoholics
uh drink ain't that
the truth yeah it's fake it takes on the taste of whatever you put it with so
it's a fake drink
oh interesting i think liquor has to be it has to be flavored and cultured
enough on its own that you
should be able to enjoy it on its own if it's good liquor no personality right
vodka is boring yeah
vodka is a skinny female chef wow oh that's good there's nothing there wow yeah
it's like a stable
stripper i don't like what are we talking about yeah i need some trauma i need
some mental illness
it's like a hooker that chats too much get the business yeah vaca vaca vaca
just goes with whatever
it's with which i never and even like in high school when people go get like a
bottle of vodka
to put with like a mixer i was always like not interested you just go get me
some dark stuff it's
a little amateur but the hangover is better for vodka yeah clear is better if
you're drinking
good vodka yeah not if you're drinking pop-off or some shit i'll have me some
pop-off though that's
good dirty boy stuff yeah that's when you want to disappear into the night and
the moon comes up and
goes let's go to bed dude by the way chatty hooker they should have the uber
thing where they go do you
want a conversation or no that should be a it's a pre-rec and what did it say
on the uber now that
it says like uh you know how they they tell you that they're deaf or whatever
like yes yeah i love
deaf driver me too well they're not none of them i've had three foreign yeah
you should be able to
request deaf or foreign yes well you know what you notice this now is like the
driver that drove me
here isn't a super nice guy and uh i'm on the phone talking to a friend about
getting a real id you
know like uh you have to have now like your driver's license there's what's
called a real id here in
california to be able to travel what everyone has to have a real idea is that
what they call it you
know what this is he's not yeah you have to have a real id at some point they
won't leave travel with
your driver's license why what's the difference this year weird it's just it's
just gove