Name: Doug Stanhope Brings Cheap Wine to Sam Morril & Mark Normand
Uploaded: 2025-02-03T02:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Doug Stanhope Brings Cheap Wine to Sam Morril & Mark Normand' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Doug Stanhope Brings Cheap Wine to Sam Morril & Mark Normand' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-03. Transcript available.

Doug Stanhope Brings Cheap Wine to Sam Morril & Mark Normand

do I love you rock the suits and everything it's yeah yeah we're on dude oh we
are on oh shit I
didn't know that I hate when you waste good shit yeah all right we're gonna
start and that's why
we just do it this way I always I usually start and go okay but walk in the
room tell me all the
shit that we can't say on the air yeah let's hear it so special that's the
podcast though this is
that's the one you want to hear Nikki Glaser overrated no I didn't have oh you
did you guys
write for that no no we should killed it that was right right for a roast or
something we did a roast
on Netflix yeah it shows you how well that did yeah exactly I remember you were
talking about it
and I couldn't tell if you're talking about writing for Nikki or for a roast no
she she was awesome man
she did have about 78 writers you see that photo I know it's a lot of writers
but she killed it so it
worked out and that's the only time I'm I've ever been tempted to watch a uh a
fucking awards show
yeah there's just so like self-congratulatory just the they exist bothers me I
remember they got an award
so fucking good on that Tom Brady thing yeah yeah no she's I think she got a boob
done
but yeah I love that a woman finally crushes an award show and we're like look
at those tits
well first of all who else has their tits out in that photograph her and Mike
Lauren yeah yeah
but yeah no she did great and uh how the hell are what are you doing in the
city like do you know
Pat McAfee sure he used to always wear like fucking tank tops and he's like who
wants to see your
arms I feel the same way about women like anchor women that wear like what sleeveless
fucking put
some fucking cover up your arms the sleeveless shirt on dude is aggressive as
fuck I don't like
it's not my favorite you see the armpit hair and that weird floppy skin right
there it's not great
first mark you want to grab it oh yeah oh shit oh yeah cheap shit that's the
cheap shit but uh I
traveled with it which means I had to check a bag but I bought these sleeves
that you get at duty free
I'm gonna go hot toddy all right fuck I'm going I'll have a sip of this but
yeah I want to can we do
a hot toddy for me but keep going you want a hot toddy as well uh yes so let's
do three hot toddies
dude I remember the first uh uh episode of this show I watched I forget who the
guest was but
all three are drinking fucking LaCroix oh yeah like really did they go sober
dude
drunk is in the title but it just took you a minute yeah we got there it's
called we might be drunk
oh all right we might be and you know some we shoot at like 10 and 30 in the
morning and some of them
sometimes the guests sober so we feel weird getting hammered yeah I've skipped
a few of those
like there's uh there's sober people that don't remind you that you're a drunk
right that are great
like fucking tell or Norton I fucking love Norton love Norton uh but uh there's
others where you go
um that guy's such a not drinker yes I don't I don't want to sit through there
are legendary
drinking stories of you that I've been to clubs and they're like Doug Stanhope
fucking he did some
shit here and I'm like I gotta like Appleton is one I heard Appleton Wisconsin
oh geez those those
stories go way back well I heard one that fucking killed me and I don't know if
it's true but the
story was uh you were hammered on stage you're still killing but you're hammered
and uh turn off
your phones before you go on a podcast I don't know where we're gonna be going
but some woman
complained that you were drunk and you just walked over you overheard her and
you were like
they made us the club no no I wrote it it's actually that's actually in one of
my books
uh I I he forwarded me the email the cliff the manager at the time fucking is
that the asian thing
and you know what it's called uh the the ringtone it's called uh comic oh comic
whatever uh there we
go comic sans yes all right so what happened in apple so uh so yeah she wrote
this scathing thing
we had done a benefit show for a friend of ours who is graphically obese and to
pay for his uh stomach
stapling or whatever lap band yeah bobby kelly and sean rouse and andy andrist
and uh sean rouse
r.i.p funny funny dude so funny god so good uh so yeah she said I went to that
show and you think this
we they were making fun of the tsunami and 9-11 and none of this is appropriate
and I wrote so he
forwarded me so I had her email and I wrote her a long email I'm so glad you
have our back on this
I guess what you don't understand is when we play clubs the management provides
us with a script
and we have to follow that and we voiced our concerns to management as well
because we are the
ones that have to take the fall for this at the end of the day it's a very long
just very professional
written email and she's like oh my god I can't believe this is true that's
great she bought it
wow I brought you oh would you grab a uh in my backpack there's a book in the
main compartment
I just brought to set on this stack put it on what do we get put it oh put it
on top of
fucking natasha leggero yeah she hates me so badly why I don't I I went to a
party which I never do I
went to Sarah Silverman's legendary annual party and I like I met her to what I
knew like two things
about her and met her once and I just brought things up that evidently you know
I didn't know
that was a fucking rough thing like and she ran into Brendan Walsh who I'm good
friends with the
next day and just talked shit about me whoa that fucking asshole that stupid
guy with the fucking suit
he was a drunken asshole like I just took his Appleton all over again
yeah and and then so this year I was gonna go back to it I ended up not going
but
uh she ran into Brendan Walsh and said I hope that fucking asshole isn't gonna
be there again
I've never heard that side of her wow what'd you make fun of her for dating
Bobby Lee
no I didn't know that oh yeah I could have brought that up
a clipper just came up on my feed and it was her at some roast but she goes uh
she had a line that
killed me where she goes man the room is buzzing tonight and that's not just
the flies from Aziz's
relatives wow that's great I was like he's there he's laughing I'm like that's
a great fucking roast
joke yeah I did I did not dislike her at all the one story I had we had to do a
photo shoot for
I don't know GQ or a fucking one of those by Maxim it was a comedy issue and
they had featured like 20
comics and we had to do a photo shoot which I loathe I can't stand my just
having camera
rubber chicken yes yes and I'm like all right let's just any yeah to get it
over with I only have one
look I'm not a action guy I don't have poses just take the pictures but it's
five of us
uh so and she's like let's do one it's in the comedy store let's do one over in
the cloak room
let's do one in the and she just kept belaboring this not knowing how much I
hate it and I that was
the story that I told her so evidently well just how much I guess I was focused
on how much I hate
yeah a photo shoot and she took it as personal I see you love a photo shoot you
fucking because
she's really cool and nice and funny that's shocking that she seems like she'd
be right up
your anal yeah uh bummer oops when Natasha come in we got it right here
uh my point about the uh that that uh duty-free wrapper for this shitty bottle
of wine is I brought
that because I gotta get a bottle of bidet cat to take home hell yeah put on my
podcast and have it
sitting on the camera it'd be an honor it'd be an honor thanks I heard a story
about you uh Nick
Schwartzen told me that you went I don't know if this during covid but you were
like this close to
reaching your miles on delta or something and you just flew around the world
the crazy flights yeah
yeah I did those even after I didn't really need the miles I fucking love
flying
it is nice the two I did the same route twice was uh Tucson this is where I fly
out of uh to
Atlanta without leaving an airport Tucson Atlanta Johannesburg whoa uh to uh
Amsterdam back to Detroit
uh uh Las Vegas Salt Lake holy 77 hours total 57 in the air you're like a
terrorist
crazy wow the second time I did it I go all right that's it yeah it was funny
the first time
with your wife no no and I went coach wow we just hammered the whole time yeah
xanax and I like very
little memory of the entire other than back then uh you could all of those
airports uh you could smoke
instill still smoking in Atlanta still smoking uh there's smoking lounge in
Johannesburg yeah
Amsterdam and Vegas and this was to to reach a certain mile diamond status that's
amazing what that
cost you it was only 2200 bucks what for all that yeah that's crazy yeah damn
though wow there was like a
hack and you could just kind of I guess with passports well they don't even do
miles anymore now it's all
dollars now you just have to spend the money now you have to look for the
shortest flight that costs
the most to get but I'm yeah that's amazing now man that's like what DeSantis
did to the migrants
like you gotta go here you gotta go there but you did it on your own volition
that's hilarious
migrants don't get points either that's true yeah migrants got miles they'd be
they'd be living
high is there status for migrants they're like I'm diamond I get to board the
bus first
oh yeah they're not spending money so yeah you don't get the uh you don't get
the perks are you
guys like uh loyal to anyone I I know at this point I'm not but like delta is
the one I if I choose
because yeah you know I just I can fly with them the most so I try to hit the
number with delta
I did the road somewhere I'm pretty high on all of them but delta I'm diamond
can I uh yeah I just
can I undress please just ran in and we're on and I'm gonna do this there you
don't have the
Joe DeRosa seat I understand why he wants to like all right it's awkward to
talk if you want a seat
over there we can get you on the early Rogan podcast where he did it at his
house and it's just a couch
and one camera and you're like trying to talk to each other like this I
listened a few of those once
I was bored on a flight and I was like let me go as far back on these Rogans as
I can and it was one
with Bill Burr it's gotta be they're talking like little handheld things like
this and they're on a
couch they must have said seven thousand times because it was like 2004 or
whatever it was like
2001 so it was a different time it was crazy to hear and it was a great effort
oh cheers by the way
never had a hot toddy what really oh my god good winter drink uh the hymen well
you're living in
Arizona you don't need a hot toddy new york winters man it's like seven it's
like it says feels like
seven out there i know it's 23. it's uh it's pretty good pedophile feels like
seven yeah i feel like
uh gloria gainer trying to get her voice ready to do a show at the state fair
now that she's 79.
is she a will survive yeah yeah this is a whiskey drink i feel like a lady now
drinking this it's like
a cool drink and i'm like ah it's cinnamon sticks and a lemon well that's not
how i order it thank you
you know even like an old-fashioned sounds cool and mad men era but it's it's
got a muddled orange
in it that's a good point your gal will take a sip and go that's nice i'll have
one of those what's
your go-to drink my go-to is uh vodka soda splash of grapefruit or cran nice
that's a good drink fresh
squeeze grapefruit yeah you can't beat that but uh i try to change up
especially if i'm drinking out
i want something i can't make at home right yeah oh good i can't even make a
bloody mary
i'm like i'm really well not a good one and i'll drink v8 and vodka because it
feels it feels healthy
yeah right and it is i mean sure it's healthy if you have one then you have you
have like four you're
like alcohol is not even the problem you have this much sodium in a yes you
know i've heard you guys
say that it's not that bad the sodium level is not really that as bad as you
think all right i rememb