Name: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Uploaded: 2025-03-03T02:00:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-03. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril

Hey folks, we're here. We're doing it. We're back in New York. It's 55 and
sunny. It's glorious.
Nice out, man. It's, uh, yeah, I did 16 dates, man. That tour bus. I didn't
tell you the craziest
thing that happened to me. Did I even tell you this shit? I don't think so.
About, uh, I was in
a Sprinter the first week. We didn't do a tour bus. So, you know, I like to
leave after the show
at night. Sure. Because, you know, you wake up, you get a day in the city. Even
though
sometimes you get in at like 2 or 3 a.m. I'd rather just sleep in and do shit
in the city
I'm in as opposed to, there we go. I agree. And, uh, you angled it in my
direction, too.
There's no one there. You should have angled it there. Oh, you're right. I was
on the wrong
leg. There we go. So, uh, we take a Sprinter and there's two cars, one with me
and Gary,
another car with, uh, with Brian and James. Yeah. Brian's the tour manager.
James films
the shows. And we leave early because we're like, you guys go ahead. We got to
clean up
here. We're like, all right, we're going from, uh, Charlotte. It's the first
fucking night,
by the way. Charlotte to, I believe, Richmond. I don't, it doesn't matter. It's
not important
to the story. I don't know why I paused there, but the guy starts, oh, here we
go. Hey, what's
up, boys? I'm mid-story. Sit down, sit down. Let's shake it. I'm mid-story. I
got a road story.
Hey. Hey, look at this. Get in here. I'm in the middle of this story. I'm, it's
the first
week of my tour. We're in a Sprinter. We aren't on the tour bus yet. We're in a
Sprinter. It's
me and Gary Vieter. The driver, we're watching the movie, The Substance on our,
on my computer
and to try to just stay awake, you know, the driver fucking falls asleep at the
wheel and
he drives off the road. We're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And, and he goes,
uh, he goes,
oh, sorry about that. Sorry about that. I'm like, are you good? Do we need to
like get
you coffee? He's like, I'm good. I'm good. I heard the movie was good. It's not.
It's
not. And the movie might've saved our life by not being good because, because
he falls
asleep again, like an hour later. What? And this time he drives straight off
the fucking
road. We're in the wrong lane and we start feeling the, you know, the side of
the road
thing. Yeah. Yeah. We're feeling it. And, and Gary and I hate this movie, The
Substance
so much that it's keeping us awake. If we weren't watching this movie, we're
dead. Whoa.
Cause Gary, yeah, we're watching. We're like, what the fuck? We only, we got to
know what
happens even though we can't stand this. And Gary just grabs the driver and
starts shaking
him. We're like, wake up, wake up. And the guy's like, uh, pulls over. What
time of
day or night? I'm sorry. Oh, it's like 3 AM at this point. And we left, we left
20 minutes.
Ahead of, uh, 20 minutes ahead. No, 20 minutes ahead of, uh, Brian and James
who are in the
other car. And they're like 20 minutes ahead of us. Cause this guy's going, and
he even
said on the, when he pulled over, he's like, I'm sorry, I went so slow. We're
like, no,
the fact that you went slow. Sorry, it's my turn signal back there. I don't
think you're
getting rid of them the next day. Oh, we got rid of them that night. They
pulled over
and we just squashed all our stuff in, in another car. And we're like, you know,
holy shit. Man, what a fucking hilarious review for the movie. That was night
one of the
road. I know. That movie saved my life. Mixed reviews. Just so you know, I
would have
gave it a GoFundMe. How about that? Something real nice. I don't know. Not
anonymous. I would
have to brag about it. Throw that name in there. Yeah. And what a horrible
headline that would
have been Sam Murill and little guy. Sam Murill dies in Charlotte twice. I
think about that all
the time. We were on a, we were on a flight with Susan Lucci. Whoa. Mama. Let
me tell you
something. 78 years old. Really? I would have made a hot piece right there in
the aisle. Oh yeah.
Unbelievable. Pull her up. I haven't seen Lucci in a minute. I mean, she's age
for sure.
But if that would have crashed, though, they wouldn't have said nothing about
us. Looks good.
Looking real good. Fantastic. Sweetheart too. Really? You talk to her?
I said, you can go ahead. And she's like, oh, thank you so much. I helped her
with her
bag. He helped her with her bag. He was trying to show off. Excuse me, young,
hot, strapping
guys. I'm listening. Yeah. Helped her with her bag. He would have been nothing.
Proper
rich woman. Sure. Look at that. She's got cash. What is she? A pop star? I mean,
soap
star? All My Children. That's the one. Yeah, I don't know. Since the 70s. I don't
know
what I know her from. Susan Lucci is? All My Children. That's Elon's new show.
Two I talk to, but yeah. That's crazy.
Crazy, man. That's crazy. You could have been dead. Oh, yeah. I thought you
were talking
about Elon again. Yeah, no. It was not a good start, but I was like, you know
what? Maybe
it's a good omen. We get this out of the way and we, you know. Because you, I
mean, you
guys experience this more, but the first night on the bus or something like
that, when you
don't really know the driver. Yep. Oh, no, no. We were in a sprinter van at
this point.
The first five days we did a sprinter van. But I'm just saying, when you don't
know
the driver and you hear those blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you're like, oh, we're
going
into a fucking court. You picture yourself going through like a forest. Like, I'm
done.
We were on the bus one night and we were, it was, it was just some of these
fucking city
to city, you just get bad roads and they're like, it's bad roads. Sure. But we,
we hit
a pothole and we all, I woke up like, what the fuck? But then I was like, man,
whatever.
I just went back to sleep. Yeah. But I get a note from the driver the next day
and he
goes, our man, Jeff, he's the fucking best. He said, sorry about that pothole.
And I was
like, oh, all right. I knew something happened. Yeah. Did you report this to
the company
or anything like that? I think he did. I think Brian did. Damn. I was just
happy to
be out of there. Yeah. You're just getting random guys. And they always, we
always like
correct. We've been like, hey man, can you slow down? And they're like, ah, no,
I'm doing
the speed limit. It's like, you're doing 95 miles an hour right here. Nobody
had black
on him or nothing like that. You could have straightened the guy out. Good
point. This
guy used to drive Cosby and I think he just, no, he was just, he was, he
clearly was
doing too many shifts in a row or something. I don't know. Well, the good thing
about the tour bus drivers is that's like very, there's a lot of oversight.
They have
to turn in their journals and shit. Sprinter companies like limo companies,
they're just
running and gunning. That guy's probably working at Amazon during the day and
then being like,
I'll drive your van at night. That's a good point. I mentioned it to our bus
driver, Jeff,
and he's just like the best guy. And he was like, a four hour drive. He fell
asleep. That's
nothing. Right. But he tells you stories where he's like, you can't shit in the
toilet on
the bus. You've heard this shit, right? Of course. You can't poop in the, in
the bus
toilet. Cause you know, it doesn't go anywhere. He can't hotbox it. I go, give
me some names.
Who's hotboxed the car with you. And he's like, don't get me started on air
supply. You're
like, air supply. I'm all out of toilet paper. He mentioned Segura. Segura hotboxed
it.
Well, really? James, our videographer, hotboxed it. Cause I made the mistake of
ordering Nashville
hot chicken in Nashville. And I ordered extra. The venue was like, get extra,
get extra. So,
you know, James had three hot chickens. And he just in the middle of the night,
fucking hotboxed it. And I was like, you shouldn't have had three. That's not a
hot,
that's a miscarriage. Peeing's one thing, but when you got a dump and you know
that you're
at least like 20 minutes, like you're nothing in sight. Man, that's a cold
sweat that you
never forget. But back to these, these drivers are always a little off. There's
always a diddle
or a drug history or a prison time. There's always something. Burt's guy got
kicked off
for being antisemitic. Really? Yeah. He got in a fight with
kicked off that tour too. Well, he put a word in. Yeah. Yeah. But he was nuts.
He tried to fight
a guy. He was crazy. What did he, what did he say that was antisemitic? I think
it came. I don't
want to, maybe I should bleep the name, but he said something and was like, I'm
Jewish. And he
goes, Oh, I didn't know you were Jewish. You fucking beep, beep, boop, boop, boop.
And
he bought a Kanye shirt. And we're back. That's all. I mean, we kind of, cause
we, we do a long
runs. We do like a week long run, like one nighters back to back to back. And
we're living
in these fucking sprinter vans with guys you don't know. Yep. Yep. Sometimes he's
driving
like, I'll drive, I'll drive. You'll drive. If it's over, I will, we'll just
get, sometimes
we'll just get a minivan. And if it's over, if it's under four, I'll do it.
Yeah. That's
I like driving. It's fun. We'll do a podcast and then it'll be fun. And we all
fall the
fucking sleep. These guys fucking suck. You put me in a car. He's out. I know,
but you
got to keep the driver company. That should be shotgun. He's typically shotgun,
man. But
that should be the, that's the, you know, what are we talking guys got to, got
to stay up
for morale. I think he's the first one out. Um, but so we're to bypass all of
this for this
tour that's starting as we're like today we're buying a fucking big conversion
van and we're
going to use that. Like we have a, one of our buddies is going to drive it and
we're going
to use that as like a tour bus. Like that's going to be us in Detroit. What's a
conversion
van? Like, uh, with the captain's shares. It's a 2024. Oh, okay. Okay. Now we're
talking.
No way. No, not the mitzvah tank. Excuse me, sir. Are you Jewish? Bert's guy
will not drive
that. I'm always so tempted to say yes, just to see what goes on in there. Oh,
no one's
ever asked you if you were Jewish. Yeah, they do. Around Hanukkah, the kids
come up to you
in the park and they say you're Jewish. It's a lot of rugelach. I always don't
know.
You got a Kishkin. There I am. I'll tell you that. Holy shit. That's wild, man.
Think about it. These truck drivers, they're in the same world. They're all
these driver
guys. The truck drivers just got busted for killing hookers. You see that? No.
Jesus.
Yeah. That was our guy. We loved him. This guy's everywhere. Yeah. Look at that.
These are
the last things I want to watch before we go on the road next week. This is why
I fly.
I don't like the bus. Yeah, nothing bad's happened on a plane. Those things are
falling out.
What is going on with this? There's another one popped down, apparently. Today?
It's the
new school shootings. I'm calling it now. They're once a week and I stopped
caring.
You should care. You're not going back to school. You're flying. Oh, yeah. Good
point.
I mean, it freaks. The one that landed upside down in Toronto. I saw something.
It was a
girl who had like, I don't know. This could have just been like, you know,
propaganda on
X. I don't know. But they were, which is most of it now. Yeah. I've, they said
she had
like, why it was a good, they had, she had very low hours. Yeah. Like over the
co-pilot
who was like an 80 year, you know, seasoned vet. Well, I'm not one of these
guys like,
hey, women shouldn't fly planes, but it is weird to me that they hid it. I am.
What the fuck
are we talking about? They don't say anything. Well, they hid the women flying
the plane. That's
what's even weirder. That they hid the fact. I don't think they want the
backlash. I guess
so. Like the end of crying game or something. Right. It's a little trick. That's
what I
call fucking my wife. Cut. I like it. Yeah. Yeah. The, the pilot shit is scary.
S