Name: Robert Smigel & Triumph w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand
Uploaded: 2025-03-24T01:00:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Robert Smigel & Triumph w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Robert Smigel & Triumph w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-24. Transcript available.

Robert Smigel & Triumph w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand

Hey! Look at that! What are the odds?
Hey.
They got a cool bar in the lobby.
I heard it's sick.
They don't play music, though.
Did I just say "sick" twice?
Yeah.
What the fuck do I think I am?
I heard it's dope, bro.
Fucking dweeb.
Ugh, sorry.
Alright, I'm hanging out with a Bieber.
I don't know any cool kids.
No, my asshole's fine.
Well, you're the one saying it.
Who's a young kid?
Who's cool now?
Who's cool?
Like, who's the cool kid reference?
Chalamet?
I don't know.
He's even that young.
He's even 30.
I'm talking like...
He's about 30.
...19-year-old cool dude.
We're too old to even know who's cool.
Wow.
Yeah, I don't know.
Let me call Kevin Spacey.
Who's the cool kid?
I don't know, Macaulay Culkin?
That kid's cool.
So then, flew to Chicago, did three at the Den, drank all.
The Den is amazing, by the way.
Den is sick.
Unbelievable.
Den is sick, dude.
One of the great...
Hella cool.
Hella cool.
No, I taped the special there for a reason.
It's great.
Yeah, I walked in.
I was like, this is a perfect room.
You're repping it.
That's right.
They give me free shit.
You give me anything free, I'll wear it.
I got a turquoise blue one I wear all the time still.
Great fit, great fluff.
Yeah.
Then, went to bed, you know, drank all night.
Yeah.
Santino texts me, let's get a drink.
In Chicago, it's St. Paddy's Day.
I got a fucking ginger.
And he's the mayor of Chicago.
He's the mayor, and he's a luck of the Irish Mick patio.
So we hit the town, and then we did Adam Ray's thing, and then we drank there.
Then we went to an after party and drank there.
It was just...
He always did an after party.
Always.
It was a hell of a night.
Any big names show up for Ray?
Chevy Chase showed up.
That's a big one.
And then it was just me and Santino.
So not really.
That's pretty good.
But I don't know if I can say much, because I don't know when it comes out, but
Jeremiah
did "Baron Trump."
Oh, yeah.
And it was huge.
He came out on a bird scooter.
I mean, it was gold.
Slick back hair.
And I did theirs.
He came out on a skateboard as you.
But yeah, he asked me to do one in Dallas, but it was after like a 10-day road
stretch,
and I was like, "Dude, I'm cooked."
Yeah.
These long bus runs, by the end, you're just...
There's just nothing left.
No.
You guys, we have a special guest in the studio.
Oh, really?
Is there a camera on our special guest?
Yes, sir.
No, can you hear me?
Hey.
Look at this.
It's Triumph the It's All Comic Dog.
Yes.
Isn't that exciting, everyone?
Hey, what accent is that?
Who cares?
Seriously.
Sounds almost like Eastern Bloc.
I've been doing this shit for 30 years.
All right.
No, I'm here.
I'm here to, you know, because the Jew up my ass isn't quite enough for you
guys.
Tell that to Elon.
He's here to plug a charity event, and as if that should be enough.
He's like, "No, no.
We need the dog.
We need the 30-year-old act from Cohen."
We love the act.
What?
We love the dog.
What was the benefit?
We love you.
We love you.
So this is...
I'm like the bartender.
We're trying to make...
You know, the network called in, and they said they want the show to be more
like Andy
Cohen's.
You know?
So I'm like the bartender.
So the show is just like a Bravo show, only gayer now.
Well, I'll do some hair of the dog.
Hair of the dog.
What did it be?
How about Bodega Cat?
Yeah.
I love it.
See, I got the plug-in and everything.
Yes.
Nice to see a dog and a cat getting along.
Always.
You know, but I'll tell you what though.
I love cats, but never let a cat give you a hand job.
Oh, really?
Really?
Trust me.
Trust me.
Not a good idea.
What about those beans?
Not a good idea.
Mark, you...
No, but you guys are great.
You guys are great.
You guys are great.
Now I'm getting to the prepared jokes, but you guys are great.
Oh, you prepared something.
Two great comedians who definitely know which strip club has the best brunch.
Is that the joke?
It's definitely a joke.
Okay.
I like it.
Here we go.
Now, Sam...
I don't know.
I'm a little worried about Sam.
Are you angry at me or is that just your eyebrows?
How they always look?
You've already gone through two cigars.
What are you, Bill Clinton?
Please don't start any fires with your mind until I've left.
I love Sam.
No, seriously, Sam.
Where's the fucking other eyebrow?
I got two more eyebrow jokes.
Bring it on.
Holy shit.
Where are they?
You're like Kanye.
I know.
I'm exactly like Kanye.
Except...
Oh shit.
Here's the...
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can see why Conan was canceled.
We finished about the eyebrows.
Yeah.
Then a smooth transition.
Ah, Sam.
Seriously, Sam.
Is it true that when you die, your eyebrows will float away and find the next
worthy host?
That was worth the wait.
Wasn't that worth the wait, ladies and gentlemen?
Slow brow.
Slow brow.
I love this show.
You guys are like if Joe Rogan traded all his money, fame, and following for a
Jew-fro.
I'm just glad I could be here to make the episode somehow even more Jewish.
Please.
Yes.
So a little ad now for your sponsor, The Wailing Walmart.
Fatoum.
Oh my God.
Who wrote that one?
Jesus Christ.
Is there a greeter?
Is there a greeter?
Is there a greeter?
I thought Sarah Sherman was going to be on.
I had six Sarah Sherman jokes.
She bailed on us.
You hit her with a joke anyway.
Yeah, Sherman.
No, no.
Sarah's like, I love her because she's like an innovator.
You know, she's the first sketch comedian who wears her costume offstage.
Ah.
You see.
That's good.
I like it.
Usually, she looks, she's a sketch comedian who looks like she's not in a
sketch when she's
in a sketch.
Right.
When she's not in a sketch, she, okay, you get the idea.
You guys good?
Is it weird?
Let me ask you, is it weird interviewing a ridiculous puppet who isn't like the
mayor?
You see?
A little political joke there.
I like it.
I got a few left over from my appearance on Rosanna Skado.
Would you like to hear?
Oh, yeah.
Let's do it.
Who's that?
Oh, Rosanna.
I was on Good Day New York last week.
These are great.
Oh, okay.
Rosanna.
Just which one of you wants to play Rosanna?
I'll be Rosanna.
Okay.
Oh, Rosanna.
What the fuck is with your eyebrows?
No, that's a pre-written one.
Just a coincidence.
Rosanna.
Seriously, Rosanna.
Man, it's so great to be on a new show on Fox that isn't just demanding that we
pardon John Wilkes Booth.
Rosanna.
Rosanna, you're so much better.
I love you, Rosanna.
You're way better than live with Kelly and Mark.
Your show.
Do you know how bad the show has to be for Ryan Seacrest to walk away from it?
Good point.
We killed on Fox.
No, but seriously, let me plug Night of Too Many Stars because that's what the
Jew is here for.
It's going to be filled with amazing celebrities.
Absolutely amazing.
Who's going to be there?
Oh, my God.
Well, it's going to be like the Oscars, but nobody has to pretend that they
watched Emilia Perez.
It's perfect.
I've got Jon Stewart, Amy Schumer, Adam Sandler, Susie Essman, Alex Edelman,
Sam Morin.
Hey.
Sarah Sherman.
Sarah Sherman.
And then for the sake of diversity, Jim Gaffigan.
A lot of Jews.
A lot of Jews.
It's a little awkward, you know, because I have a lot of Jews.
Just rock.
We're talking about this show and, you know, Sam is going to be on that.
Mark, I would have loved to have you on it.
Please.
I would have done anything to have you on it, but you're not good.
I kid.
I kid.
He's great.
No, no.
Seriously, Mark.
If it was in my hands, you know, it's out of my hands.
I can't make you funny.
If I could, in a second, I'd have you on the show.
Thank you.
A comic like Drew Barrymore on.
Ouch.
No, she's great.
She's great.
We're on Hollywood Squares together.
We're on Hollywood Squares together.
I love working with Drew and I love to see her on Hollywood Squares because it
means she's not shooting Fever Pitch 2.
All right.
You've been a great crowd.
Yeah.
Killed it.
That was awesome.
Oh, heads up.
Jesus Christ.
Nice.
WNBA over here.
Man.
That was killer.
Hey, well done.
You still got it.
It's Michael.
Oh, my God.
So, not too many stars.
Oh, everybody.
That's going to be awesome.
At the Beacon.
At the Beacon.
I'm pumped, dude.
One of the best rooms in the city.
I have a great memory from when I did it last time and I think I closed on a
dead baby joke,
which was probably not the best choice.
That was hilarious.
That was hilarious.
But I got off and I remember seeing a look of horror on Steve Buscemi's face.
And then I looked over and saw a look of horror on Harvey Keitel's face.
Harvey, you managed to horrify Harvey Keitel.
Yeah.
That's bad lieutenant.
Yeah.
And then I turned to my left and I just saw Paul Rudd and he was like.
Hell yeah.
I was like, ah, saved by Rudd.
For the record, that might have just been Buscemi's face.
It might have.
Yeah.
That's true.
His default face.
Yeah.
It appears to be.
No, it's a huge event and it's for a great cause.
So, that's really cool.
I don't know.
Is it autism?
Really?
Yeah.
No, it's for Autism School.
Oh, thank you for the money.
Autism School Services Programs.
And it's, you know, my wife and I started it like 25 years ago when everybody
was just focusing on curing autism and we couldn't get our kid into any kind of
school that was helping him because there's such a shortage of schools.
And then we realized like, Jesus, people who don't have dog puppets have it
even harder.
I knew everybody in comedy and I figured, Jesus, I'd be an asshole if I didn't
do this.
Hear, hear.
What a cool.
And then John.
So, we did one at Roseland and I didn't know John very well.
I had like Adam and Conan were my friends who were like kind of anchoring it
and I had a lot of SNL people on it.
But John was on it too and John asked me a million questions.
He just walked over to me at one point.
Just wanted to know.
He was so curious what it was like, what it was like for parents.
Uh, and at one point I was telling him, yeah, we're thinking of maybe trying to
start a school with other parents try to raise money.
He said, I'll just, just let me know.
I'll host an event for you.
And he did and we were able to start a school.
It ended up not being a great place for my son, but it helped a lot of people.
And then John just went to Comedy Central where he was doing The Daily Show and
said, I want to have this on Comedy Central.
Wow.
All right.
And we, then it became a regular thing.
Hell yeah.
Comedy Central went to shit.
Yeah.
And so now we just do it at the Beacon live.
Hell yeah.
Even better.
Even better because people get to do standup and not have to worry about
burning their act.
Yeah.
It was fun, man.
It was fun last time.
And, uh, yeah, it's awesome.
You do it.
Is it, what are we looking at?
Is it a telethon?
Can you call in like Jerry Lewis?
No, the TV ones, we did have a phone in thing and we would give away weird
prizes like a Tina Fey calendar where she, she posed in.
I can't even remember.
We superimposed her body over bizarre things and then like a bikini calendar.
And then one year we actually did this for people who donated over the phone, a
hundred dollars or more.
We gave them a DVD of the first episode of Game of Thrones with color
commentary by, um, J.B. Smoove and Tracy.
Oh, that's amazing.
That is amazing.
Yeah.
Great idea.
Ever since then I've been wanting them to just do that as a TV show.
Yeah.
Just their own version of mystery science theater.
Do you have to pay them to watch it?
Cause they gotta do that, right?
You actually have to do it.
The creators of Game of Thrones donated the rights to like, is that what you
mean?
No.
I mean like, do you have to pay Tracy Morgan?
Like, Hey, can you sit here and watch this for an hour?
Oh no.
He was, he's like my old SNL buddy.
He did it for free.
Of course he did.
I was about to imitate him, but he threw up at the nickname.
I hope he's doing great.
He had food poisoning.
He's fine.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Just food poisoning?
That's what they said on the news.
Oh, good.
Oh, okay.
He'll be fine.
Cause I don't know.
I heard he had like a kidney transplant.
I don't know.
He was eating pussy.
What?
He's going to do 10 minutes