Name: Jordan Jensen w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast
Uploaded: 2025-06-09T01:00:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jordan Jensen w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jordan Jensen w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-09. Transcript available.

Jordan Jensen w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

we're starting we're starting hey hey dude uh yeah before we were rolling you
were just talking
it was interesting to me i was like maybe we should roll on this because uh you
were talking
about doing europe and having a kid yes yeah it's a whole new part of the road
now the road used to
be just like write jokes get drunk see denver now it's like my kid i'm missing
him and you know you
gotta think he's four months old so his life is like like 15 days out of his
life is like that's a
third you're missing stuff i'm missing stuff did you miss anything big nothing
big but she's like
he rolled over which is so funny like talking about a human like he rolled over
what the fuck you know
it's like a celebrity like oh my god she took a nap but the kid is uh doing he
almost said a word
she was like he was like where's dad at his first word his first word was
neglect um but yeah so but
i'm back because she went away you can miss a word even if you're here ah good
point you can miss a
word if you're at this podcast that's a good point but i think something about
being overseas oh yeah
you were where were you when i said my first word iceland that is rough exactly
it's like i'm trying
to get as far away from them as possible like polanski he had a different issue
with it yeah
um yeah but no but you're you're aware of it you're that that's gonna make you
i think a good
dad that you're like you're conscious you're like okay i'm gonna like i'm with
veter all the time on
the road he's got two kids a third on the way right so aware like yes i'm gonna
make every moment
i'm back count that's what you got to do and you're facetiming facetiming with
the kid which
he doesn't really get he's too stupid now but like you're trying and because
you know we didn't
have that growing up no good point i mean it's crazy that you'd like it's
innate these devices
yes they just kind of get it from birth it's like a language a hundred percent
and they're
you ever seen that old video where the kid is swiping on a magazine picture it's
it's heartbreaking
but yeah you're right they learn it so quick because they're born with it you
know it's like being born
with a a fork you know you just know what to do you don't have to learn yeah so
yeah the but the kid
so she went away for a few days for a bachelorette party and she came back and
the baby was like
i think it like didn't know how to emote like i missed you it was just you and
the baby yeah
damn and uh that's like a dad and a baby is like a movie yes the mom and the
baby are like but i feel
like without the mom is you need the mom more you need the mom in the mom
exactly so there's more of a
connection when i came back he was like it's like a dog yeah it's like a dog oh
yeah okay yeah his ass
was wagging it was cute but with her when she went away it's definitely there's
more mom connection so
he was like he was freaking out because he didn't know how to handle it they
don't know how to be
like whoa it's so good to see you they're like you know i was more attached to
my mom for obvious
reasons yeah but uh big neglect going on here with the dad yeah r.i.p oh yeah
sorry about that i didn't
know if i should text or no it's fine okay it's i mean it was like it's
literally his his wife called
me and said he he's uh he's gone i was like i've heard that before so uh bad
time for a joke but uh
hey yeah no she i was just like yeah you know i didn't really know him that
well but no funeral
i think they had well they were like we're having a funeral at the at the buddhist
temple and i said
nice try ah you don't get to just become a buddhist right late in life because
you were a piece of
shit well i did have no objects you know including you so it's something i got
a i got a dad question
for you my dad's been gone for forever like uh he left when i was a kid he's
got cancer now
oh well i've seen him like twice in my entire i don't even know what kind his
his new wife sent
me a message on facebook your dad's biden should i basically like your do you
have a hindsight with
your dad like should i reconnect because he's gonna die or question that is a
good question i think
you've never met him right once as an adult once isn't it yeah okay and once as
a kid how was it as an
adult it was very weird yeah that's what i mean if they're not there they're
not there it's i think
you're searching for something that doesn't exist i think that's movie shit it
is movie shit it's like
you know darth vader and luke i'm your father yeah all right but you weren't
great yeah you weren't
great i mean that's the thing i was i was searching for this moment that didn't
exist and then i remember
he wrote like a note he left a note in like a safety deposit box and it was
like and then i had a
great dad raise me so i was just kind of did you have a dad in the picture no
so you have like this
void it's tough i i just don't think you're gonna get closure from it i agree
let him die and why give
him the gift of meeting you not meeting you like you're a fun guy nice guy
successful guy yeah well
you're just helping him out now now he's like hey my son's pretty cool you're
making him feel better
yes i i wasn't really mad it's you sound like a parent i was like i wasn't mad
i was kind of just
like disappointed yeah that could be a bit i wasn't like yeah but i wasn't
funny yeah it's you end up
turning in a parent talking to them but then uh but of course because you're
expected to take if they
neglect you and then you go back into their life you are taking it's so fucking
ironic oh i'm taking
care of you right so uh no i didn't go to the funeral i don't think his other
son did either
to be honest maybe he did i don't know but i haven't met him i don't it's uh it's
a whole other
thing over there yeah what are you gonna get out of that then you gotta waste a
day put a suit on go
to a buddhist temple like i don't think you're gonna see him and go all right
this chapter is closed or
whatever it's not like some sex in the city moment well she said his wife on
the phone said something
like uh he was a good man i said he wasn't it's just something you say when
someone dies but you
know yeah i was like nah i said i don't mean to be offensive he was you know he
just died so that's
what you say yes exactly that's why funerals are are weirdly dishonest yeah
because if you go up and
say the absolute truth it's cruel right but if you if you bend it you know he i
guess there's ways to
bend things in a way that's appropriate but funerals always unless it's a good
person
right and you're bummed the person's dead exactly so if you're not into the guy
i don't think it's
worth going no you can't be real anyway and and i think this is kind of a win
like he fucked you
over and now you're like i'm skipping this that's what you get yeah it's not a
win it's just a
nothing yeah all right it's a nothing i show up to the funeral i win
you get the next thing we win we win well yeah do we have peeves you pull up
some peeves wait wait
there's trump thing you gotta oh what is this yeah what were you what is it so
he says he goes on
whatever fox news and he says the n-word what but that's the funny part he goes
you know we're trying
to avoid the n-word and the guy's like huh the anchor and he's like you know
the n-bomb and the guy's
like what do you mean and trump's like you know what i mean and he goes nuclear
and he's like yes
nuclear and you're like jesus you can't say the n-bomb is nuclear he's just sat
out to lunch but uh
it's almost like not racist if that's how you think of it that's true really a
nuclear bomb is much
worse than the n-word that's for sure yeah n-word can't wipe out uh asia
an n-bomb i guess let's uh yeah let's see it
it's just classic trump being retarded
what does he do is he tiptoeing on the line there is he trying to be funny does
he actually think
that's the n-word it's weird i don't know that's what i mean would you have
done that to like don
lemon or something like a black anchor oh good question then it would have been
pretty uncomfortable
yeah yeah i mean uh shit man damn i guess the n-word in the end you gotta you
gotta avoid both
you gotta avoid not not do either yeah i don't want either in my neighborhood
i just had i was just howling at that at home i had to show you jesus do you
cross the street
where the nuke is coming the world yeah there you go
nuclear with attitude okay well what do we have some peeves from listeners we
have a bunch oh you
want should we do a few this is amazing what a segment yeah i was like fuck we
we do peeves on
your people seem to like i like the peeve section peeves hit home like you
wouldn't believe when i do
shows and i'm like anything in the news they always go peeves i know same i
always have to have a
couple locked i gotta start locking and well so what do we have when people put
whole cherry
tomatoes in a salad oh interesting it's it's not like the top of my list but i
can see yeah you know
who hates this peeve is of third world countries they're like oh you got a
whole tomato in your
salad what a nightmare i don't yeah it's never been a thing i i guess is it
because it seems lazy like
they just threw it in i guess so and like putting a whole cherry tomato i guess
is a lot of tomato
i guess yeah this guy's living too high on the hog like oh sorry you had to eat
a tomato yeah this is
this is one that doesn't really i hate the salad the wedge salad yeah i love it
i like a wedge salad
because it tastes but i gotta i gotta do the work i gotta cut it up i gotta
make a salad that's a good
point you kind of like a wedge something fun about a wedge so hearty it's a big
hunk of crunchy lettuce
yeah you know what is a peeve is the shrimp guy you know the guy who gives you
the shrimp at the thai
restaurant and you got to get the heads off oh i hate that or it's pasta with
shrimp in it you're
like wait so now i gotta pull this shit off then put it back in like what are
we doing here yeah
yeah you know the heads there people are like well it's more it's fresh it
means it's more fresh okay
i don't give a shit give me frozen shrimp with no head yes exactly i don't want
a head like my
marriage no head no i don't want head i love it's back to school the other
night just threw it was
just on i was like don't knock vanessa she gives great headache such a good
line about that joke that's
such a dumb quick great line i love that great headache when white people are
abnormally interested
in the civil war this is another it's kind of a strange one yeah i get annoyed
by that like if
someone's a buff of civil war buff civil war world war ii whatever so you hate
ken burns now right
let the guy be interested at least he's in into this and not meth that's you
know
might be more information like yeah maybe this is like a weird is like a civil
war reenactment type
guy or something oh good that's a little weird good that's very weird yeah
maybe this is a guy a
black guy with a white friend who's way into that interesting and he's like it's
a locker with
the slavery north south thing so maybe that's good books on it i mean like i i
don't know i have no
issue with this one either i mean this is not a peeve of mine i guess abnormally
means like he's got
posters on his wall of you know the whistling dixie and the the flag you're
right abnormally does
yeah like all right like you have a confederate flag on your property okay that's
a little weird
all right i'll give you that problem the confederate flag is it's a cool
looking flag is it well it's just a
cool like if that was a flag that represented something good you'd be like oh i
want to
fly this the branding was on point yes it's like it's like the nazis with the
uniforms they were
well made well made yeah look it doesn't look bad it's a it's i like our
american flag but yeah it's
i do too but it's not bad but you put that on a on that dukes of hazard car
that's a badass car
doesn't look yeah i mean look you get hugo boss making your uniforms too it