Name: Dolph Lundgren w/ Mark Normand & Sam Morril - We Might Be Drunk Podcast
Uploaded: 2025-06-23T01:00:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dolph Lundgren w/ Mark Normand & Sam Morril - We Might Be Drunk Podcast' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dolph Lundgren w/ Mark Normand & Sam Morril - We Might Be Drunk Podcast' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-23. Transcript available.

Dolph Lundgren w/ Mark Normand & Sam Morril - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

and we're back hey we are here we might be drunk whoa this is gonna be a it's
gonna be a spicy one
i feel like not gonna get well i guess they saw the thumbnail they saw they
know he's coming okay
well yeah this is very exciting he's not in yet but he's on his way yeah we're
starting early he's
not late i know people yes common when people are late but uh he's not jordan jensen-ing
he's just
uh coming or uh coming on time we're starting early she might be more manly
than he is
all right we're off to a fun start look uh what a night last night the cellar
by the way oh yeah
yeah show up do some shows i bump into liz she goes uh adam sandler's here and
i go holy shit's the
sandman happy gilmore billy mad here we go opera man opera man i mean he's got
a long list he's got a
big daddy yeah that's a weird third pickle arm water boy water boy remember the
pickle arm
not really pull up the pickle arm this was when he was really uh like i got i
need a i need a sketch
quick um big alarm oh yeah it was a weekend update thing that didn't really
take but he uh you know
he's got quite the resume obviously he's adam sailor sandman yeah and uh so i
run a show at the
cellar and i was like hey liz can you get him on my show and she was like i
already sent him over
and then i walk in you're in there with him yeah yeah he asked me what's good
and i said for what
you're doing i would do mcdougall and the lounge because he was like you want
intimate because you're
doing yes stuff you're not confident in do like mcdougall is it low ceilings
intimate and the
lounge the same yeah it's so funny that fucking setup what you can still hear
clapping the other
i know fucking sandler i know yeah what are we doing here it was all
embarrassing fucking but he's
such a sweet guy he's wearing a puffy jacket and basketball shorts and dirty
sneakers and he's got a
fucking thick beard and uh we go you go can he go next i go sure i tell the guy
i give him a note
adam sandler gets called up but then he goes yeah the man and he tapped me on
the hand that was great
there's pickle arm and then he uh and then he went on and did new stuff it was
awesome yeah it was fun
man super fun super cool to see he might be the most likable celebrity yeah he's
so endearing feel
like a celebrity he just feels like a regular dude also i told you the wife is
so she's like so
attracted to him and she's like the the bad dressing is even hotter but you
have to be that famous to
even it out yeah you just look like a piece of shit if you're not cool exactly
she doesn't say that
about salicus i mean look at this guy this is like if you like like a four-year-old
special needs kid
in a closet but it's cool on him but it works it makes it work yeah no hoop in
those like kind of
hawaiian polo which i love i love that hawaiian polo yeah what a hilarious uh
combination of hawaiian
polo i love it dude i love it he's the man yeah it was a fun night dude carl
anthony towns was at
the cellar the other night too you know oh finally we get the story so carl
anthony towns the big man
on the knicks bodega cat that's his fucking nickname so he walks in and liz the
cellar manager
is wearing a bodega cat shirt and he goes i love your shirt and she goes let me
introduce you to
someone oh no so i'm on stage fucking around with mateo and will in the other
room and she's like
get off stage i'm like let me do one more joke she's like get the fuck off
stage and i was like
all right wow so so mateo is like oh you're getting bitched around but i'm like
but she did me a solid
she's like it's carl anthony towns i was like okay by the way you guys on stage
are a jew a black and
gay walk into a club it's really like the the college pamphlet avengers you
know but uh so i'm
talking to uh liz she pulled me over and carl was at the bar and he's got his
uh girlfriend or wife
i don't know if they're married whatever together uh they're they're just
chilling and uh we start
chatting nicks we start chatting wow we're like breaking down each series he's
super cool and then
i'm like can i give you something and he goes yeah and like we liz gives me a
bottle of bodega cat to
give him and he goes oh my god i love this this is like wow and he goes old-fashioned
is my favorite
drink and looking at the menu he's looking at the menu and he goes and bodega
cat is in it wow
oh did he do the shimmy uh he did not do the shimmy okay of course mateo's like
he's so gay he comes
out he goes that guy's so gay i'm like all right settle you think everyone's
gay he's like yeah but
that guy is gay keep it down he's with his wife gay guys think everyone's gay
they really do think
they can turn anyone yes yes confident you know what because they probably
turned like one or two
right because i had a gay friend he used to like take ubers home yeah you know
this guy i don't want to
say his name but he used to take ubers home uh joe list and uh and he'd be like
do you want to get
jerked off to the driver and it would work sometimes he would like jerk off the
driver and i'd be like
what a weird i'm like do you tip on top of that i feel like that's the tip
right yeah good question
but uh yeah no but he was cool as hell and then as he's we talked for a while i
don't want to overdo it
and uh as he's walking out he holds the bottle up he goes i'm bringing this on
vacation i'm so excited
holy hell yeah and i went overdo it because a lot of people were like hanging
after but he ended up
hanging till like three in the morning and i left i was like i want to leave on
a high but he was he
was very cool stupid question was this before or after the big pacers ending
after of course okay
he's not he's not out like that i was gonna say yeah yeah he was i'd blame him
for the loss
um he actually was the best for us in that series oh yeah he was good but uh
i mean it looks like your computer's not even loading here what's going on oh
there we go
oh wait i'm starting to get the mateo thing now
how tall are we talking he's seven feet wow
where is he from jersey oh nice sorry not too far
we got what the hell is this peters with your oh my god what do we do 69 morrell
whoa bodega cat we might be drunk what the hell did i get my size right large i
love canadian too
wow norman oh come on next step hell yeah boy that's thick this is heavy
the card in the box oh brooklyn bodega cat now is this i feel bad is this a
real team
mark mcdonald
no there's no way this is a real okay i was gonna say i don't know him
well it will be after this the brooklyn bodega cat wow thank you whoever mark mcdonald
is what a
guy i love it this is so cool unbelievable
wow i'm gonna wear this while i fuck no i'm gonna wear while i jerk off
in an uber
oh wow
it was our gay friend who talked like snagglepuss by the way
oh okay
what i just wanna jerk off your dick
yeah but look there's some guys out there who are like i can turn any lesbian
just give them
one look at my sack
oh i don't i've never heard a guy say that maybe i can turn a lesbian yeah i
don't even think i can get a lesbian to enjoy a conversation with
turn a lesbian yeah what are we talking about yeah yeah i've been to a lesbian
bar they're just like what
yeah what are you doing here what it's not very inclusive yeah they're not no
they're not so why are we at the lesbian bar
well i mean it's a free country i'm dropping in for a cocktail after my uh long
day of homophobia
yeah i'm thirsty
i want a drink
yeah
you got any good names for lesbian bars
oh well i got the mound guzzle
scissors
um i had a whole bit about this i can't remember it
yeah
uh clits with a z
oh clits with a z was big
yeah
yeah that was fun
yeah thank you i forgot about that
yeah they do not
we had i used to live in the village but then there was uh cubbies
cubby hole
cubby hole
i've been there once
great i went by accident i was like oh cubby hole i'm like then you're at the
bar you're like wait a second
yeah cubby hole
everyone here has armpit hair
what the hell pull up cubby hole it's a cute little uh hole in the wall
not a fan of the of the armpit hair on women
i'm not either
i know that you just want to be free and it's like hippy dippy but it's like
sometimes you'll see the hottest girl and then she lifts it up and you're like
what the fuck
i know
i'd rather see a dick
i think this is controversial
i think it's controversial but i'm with you
the armpit hair is uh
is it controversial
well i mean i don't know if men are allowed to have a preference but uh
we're allowed to have a preference it's a free country
uh tell my audience but um
like my wife would be like that's a handsome guy but he's got a ponytail
that's out he's out so i'm like okay
i feel the same way about the armpit ponytail is it's a heat check
i guess it's a real heat check it's like you're getting so much ass you're like
i'm gonna
it's like when leonardo dicaprio had like a man bun and you're like oh you're
getting too much
ass yeah
you're just gonna like be like i'm just gonna do this
right you can't be stopped
it's like orlando bloom would do it's like dudes who are getting too many
chicks
right
we'll be like oh musicians
yep yep yep but i think
you don't see a doctor with a ponytail
you don't see you get an accountant with a ponytail you're like what the fuck
yeah oh god an accountant with a ponytail that's that's no good
he's taking your money
yeah yeah that guy's a coke dealer
the heat check dying your armpit hair
it's just it's just not my now it's a strange
yeah yeah i know i offended our three female listeners
but you know not my thing not my thing not doing that not doing the ponytail so
not for me
it's gonna be a kink though for somebody
oh for sure for sure i don't know i don't i don't think it's a kink
there's no maybe people are okay with it but there's no like porn category
chicks with armpit hair
mmm
well i mean i guess i guess you could find anything if you look for it
that's true
oh now i'm excited
i love how fucked up your google search history is because of us
oh yeah oh there it is
it's just a guy
okay
uh whoa
all right well now we're getting chicks with dicks
this is a whole different ball game
yeah all right
yeah
but a chick with a dick usually has less armpit hair
really
they usually shave it
really
i think so yeah
because the dick is like a misdirect
it's like a business switch
yes
it's like when a realtor says it's a two bedroom
and you're like this is a one bedroom convertible
yeah what the hell there's a chimney
you lied
yeah exactly
no it's uh you're right they
because they're feminine everywhere else
right
and then the penis is the the surprise
yeah if you're bi
if you're a bi dude that's the best of both worlds
you get the boobs you get the femininity
and you get the railing of a dong
i'm with you dude
you hear billy eilish is getting all this shit
for coming out as bi
which first off you don't get to come out as bi
yeah
you don't get to come out as i'm cool with everything
yes
that's not brave
that's like you're fortunate
oh
if you're gay you're like okay well i have
there's less people i get
yes
but if you're bi you get everyone
this is a bit
i maybe
you don't get to come out it's fortunate
you are fortunate
i mean woody allen had the old bit
you've doubled your chance for a date on a on a saturday
yeah yeah exactly
but uh
but if you were if we were bi
we could be blowing each other
and then do the show
and then we'd be living high on the hog
yeah i've noticed like mateo has a lot of like friends
like he's like i've hooked up with him but we're cool now
and i'm like that i have like no exes that i'm friends with
god
are you friends with any exes
not really i mean i'm cool
i'm cool
i'm not like hanging out with him
exactly
well it's hard
it's hard yeah
then the sexual tension
they hate you
or whatever it is
i think dudes look at sex as
i guess look if you're just hooking up it's different
like i guess
he's probably not friends with any of his exes
mm-hmm
yeah i don't think he is
but like just hooking up
you're like who