Name: Jim Norton w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk
Uploaded: 2025-07-21T01:00:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jim Norton w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jim Norton w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-21. Transcript available.

Jim Norton w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk

hey folks we might be drunk we got a cocktail brewing Negroni Jim sober and
yeah you don't
mind us drinking huh no I don't okay some guys are like that you've been sober
a long time since I
was a young man yeah but I never mind pot smokes a little hearts I still like
how that smells but
if guys are doing coke or drinking I could care less as long as it's not like
something in my
sinuses I don't care I like we got the coke yeah please I encourage cheers
brother cheers guys guys
I'll toast with my LaCroix supposedly bad luck but who gives a fuck looks of
the myth I've heard that
yeah I've heard I've heard that I've had guys stop me from toasting with water
and like it's bad luck
like now if I get drunk in your establishment it's bad luck fucking cutting
myself on the dance floor
bar rules like when you take a shot and the guy goes and he's like oh you didn't
slam it down
you're gonna go gay or whatever all right and I make eye contact on toast but
the people that are too
aggressive about it the people that are like one of these oh I hate oh my god
right settle down yeah
there's a whole toast culture apparently I wasn't aware of I'll do it once in a
while sometimes I'll
even clink glasses with people like they'll all be doing it I know I've missed
everybody and I don't
care yes exactly I know it would bother them if they knew but I'm like ah tough
shit it's a stupid
tradition it's all silly yeah man you asked me uh going in they always ask you
like do you want to
talk about anything and it's always I'm always so tempted to say something
really hacky like when
people are like what do you want us to get into I'm like just lead me into my Gump
impression
Jim Jim you're a big Tom Hanks guy right yeah it's fun stupid is stupid I did a
comics unleashed and
that's the whole show yes oh Jim I hear you have a dog I do that's how I would
have done that show
just literal answers yes Byron wasn't it was it you that was me well yeah where
they were like hey Mark
you like working out and you're like no I don't yeah it was so forced and
cheesy I couldn't handle it
I never did that show because they were always like I think it came after tough
crowd it always felt like
tough crowd if it was really regimented yes yes or spontaneous or not
aggressive at all uh yeah I always
thought that was a fairly awful show I feel I like watching I think Andy Kindler
called it comics
uncomfortable which was such a it's such a miserable thing to watch guys fake
laughing at each other's
bits yeah like not calling each other out oh yeah it's so phony I know like
Norm has the ultimate he
did it and uh Byron Allen goes so Norm I hear you're getting older because he
had a bit about being an old
man Norm goes yeah we all are and Byron was like I don't know where to go from
here and then he goes I gotta
tell you Byron this couldn't be more leashed which I love he made so much money
off that show because
he owned it he bought the weather channel I know didn't he have money didn't he
have money aside
from it though too I don't know I think he must have I don't think I don't
think he just got rich
on comics unleashed I think he owned like UPN he has a couple of stations well
he was on was it real
people he was under that's incredible it was one of those shows it was one with
Skip Stevenson
Sarah Purcell Fran Tarkenton I'm mixing two shows together from the late 70s
okay that's incredible
and real people but I think Byron Allen came from one of those was he he must
been 10 he was a young
guy he's probably older than he looks yeah is the weather channel a good
investment can we just look
at our fucking phone oh yeah who's still watching the weather channel that's a
good point well the
way they have their own app I wonder if a lot of it is like the weather channel
has like segued into
the app yeah just get the free app yeah I guess yeah I remember waiting local
on the eights you're
like oh at eight o'clock they're gonna show our weather that was exciting you
get a hot weather
lady yeah or a grumpy dude yeah how about that smooth jazz it's like it's
either a hot attractive
woman or it's some guy that does poppers and blows other guys behind a fucking
tree in Central Park
yeah weathermen are always getting busted for being on Grindr and that's true
well they got to know when to go in the bushes so you know they don't want to
go in a rainstorm that is true we found
the local weatherman dead in a motel room yeah got a belt around his neck
the piano leg in his ass
there is a darkness but it's weird because there is people like I'll throw
someone just throw the local news on and there is a weird comfort to it
even like even like a shitty show like good morning America you're kind of like
ah it's kind of comforting I don't know it's familiar I'll listen to local
traffic like I do like like on 1010 and 880 like I like local traffic but there's
like a real a real reason
for that because you know you know you have to get out of the fucking city but
local news I don't find very uh because the stories are just annoying yeah yeah
it's like a cat in a tree or some shit yeah and I just don't uh I don't really
care but I did look who doesn't miss the old Ernie and ask just Chuck Scarborough
remember Sue Simmons there was all those rumors that she drank too much you don't
remember oh yeah you're not from here
no no no oh New York one I remember there's a New York one guy god the three
apples remember that guy oh yes he's like I give this film three apples and he
used to hang
hammered around the cellar all the time and he would just like drop his name he's
like I'm the apples guy
like I'd be like no one no one knows that yeah like I'm a native New Yorker and
even I'm like oh okay that
was the biggest I could give I remember we tried to pull it on uh it was like a
New York one and it was
only on Time Warner so I remember he tried to like big teachers like brag to
Michael Che once and he was
like apples New York one and Michael Che not even trying to be a dick was like
oh I've got Fios I don't
know oh and he could just see the spirit lift out of him oh man it's like the
whiz who is the guy that
would do the weather uh Lloyd Lloyd Lindsay Young oh yeah he had this crate
like hello sunshine wouldn't
he do like something like that yes that's right this is old man talk on a
podcast yeah you guys remember
Cronkite announcing JFK's death well you had to have a catchphrase back then I
got three apples
hello whatever yeah thumbs up thumbs down look at this guy manhattan on the
west side you gotta have
a thing a hook yeah he did Lloyd Lindsay Young everybody remembered him he's in
bed with his
wife he's like I got it yeah I'm the hello guy I'll bet you she talked him into
it because he would
yell into her pussy and she can't have a better idea that one it's gonna be
thunderstorms have you seen
this Ernie Anastos clip where he says keep that chicken yeah wait what's that
if you haven't seen
it's a classic yeah guardian and then check that seven day to make your weekend
plans takes a tough
man to make a tender forecast Nick I guess that's me keep that chicken okay
what does that mean what
what is the reasoning behind this I think he was actually saying keep plucking
that chicken yeah oh and
it sounds like keep that chicken did he say keep it or keep plucking it though
I think he meant to
say keep plucking it yeah yeah like the guy who slips up and says something
racist when he's talking about
like like the negro league you ever see that guy he got fired yes oh oh yeah he's
twitch not jimmy
the greek no no no that was uh that was about being uh bred from slavery that
was my black athlete right
no this was a guy not long ago who was talking about something and he was
talking about like they had
gone to the baseball hall of fame on top of the negro league but let's see let's
just say he said it in
the more aggressive uh fashion oh god i got it yeah and it totally slipped out
and they fired him
it was a guy recently said on that was me in the mirror
um but he had to apologize museum
negro league yeah phenomenal day today
oh wow he kind of caught it and corrected it but it was already too far yeah
like you know i mean
like the fender had already hit yeah did he get he got fired i think he got
fired oh and he's standing
next to this guy who looks like he's in like uh yeah duck dynasty yeah yeah
thank you uh that is rough
yeah that's a rough one because it feels like there was another one too with
something like that where he
just slipped and it yeah came out and you're like it was a martin luther king
uh thing day he said yeah
i think he said the name uh very very incorrectly um and there was just no
fixing it because you know
that was in your brain when you said yes in the brain well you know what does
it was it gruden who
had all those uh emails leaked yeah i'm like come on it was an email it's
private it wasn't great
though oh wow he was the coach of the uh raiders oh yeah he was a great coach i
mean he was a coach of
the bucks too i think won the won the super bowl we gotta get him on here yeah
why would they i saw
those emails i'm like he'd be a good guest yeah wait were they leaked or did it
come out in some sony
hack i think i think they remember that i think people hated them on the inside
and they leaked it
oh he was a great part of it was part of a lawsuit and uh they were they were
like let's look at all
your work emails and then they reviewed them and then they released them oh
well it's like private
emails yeah i'm just saying if you released my group chat yeah it would not be
i was at a wedding
with uh a couple comics on sunday and joe list and i were just just talking
about so many people and
about five minutes into talking we realized we were standing right in front of
a camera
that is rolling and it's supposed to get the toast and we're just like we
looked at each other like
what do we do so we just turned it off and i'm like they might have missed the
vows
i was like i don't know but i was like that but you had already said this stuff
so did i know but
i was like you know what at that point like we're gonna we want to keep talking
so damn oh that's
bad that's that's our sex tape you know like hot people actors get caught
having a sex tape that's
ours it's talking shit can we just get caught trashing the last week's host it
really is not as
fun right no it's the worst feeling when you're like man this guy hasn't been a
new bid in a while and
then you look over that's his phone recording this set oh we've all done that
one yeah and you're like who the
fuck records from side stage what the hell is he doing yeah it's the worst when
you're talking and
you just see that little camera you got to look around oh i've made the mistake
and you hope they
don't watch their sets back because the guy's still nice to you you're like all
right he doesn't watch
his own yeah that's true by the way by the way i got a peeve tell me if this is
what do you think of
this so i had a friend and so i bought tickets to see sunset boulevard on broadway
i heard it's a good
show uh and my ex and i we were gonna see it she got she gets sick so i was
like i'm just gonna give the
tickets away to a friend of mine i know he loves the movie sunset boulevard so
i'm like you want
the tickets and he goes i can't go but my girlfriend would love the tickets and
i was like all right
weird transfer but fuck it who gives a shit take the tickets so then i see them
and i was like how do you
like the play was it good i want to see it still and she goes i couldn't make
it oh so i gave you
the tickets and no one went so they just got married i'm thinking good uh good
wedding gift sunset
boulevard tickets again what do you think yeah i like it that's kind of a fun
like little little
funny fuck you but also i like one gift it's still a gift all right those
tickets aren't cheap did they
give them away or did she know she just like i think got caught in traffic or
something just missed the