Name: Fiona Cauley w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast
Uploaded: 2025-11-03T02:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fiona Cauley w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fiona Cauley w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-03. Transcript available.

Fiona Cauley w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

Hey, hey, we're here. We're back. We might be drunk.
Yo, yo. What's up, dude?
Oh, boy. Long day, but hey, we're here. We're queer.
What do you have?
I had a pod earlier, the baby. I'm teaching him how to swim.
Really?
So I got to get up early and get him to the Y. He's loving it.
You're not going to be able to case the anthium now, whatever you call that.
I'm trying to Whitney Houston him, but no dice.
You're taking the baby to the Y. That's so New York. I love that.
Oh, yeah. Just me and a couple Indian ladies just flashing away.
Dude, yeah, shit. We rescheduled this because I was sick as fuck.
I wasn't even like, you ever sick in Vegas?
No, I get sick after Vegas.
It sucks to be sick in Vegas because I'm at the Venetian.
You're like, it's just every step is a reminder that everyone is having fun
except you.
Yes.
And I'm trying to be ready for the show.
I still did the show, obviously, but I'm walking around.
I'm like, maybe at the food court, there's like a ramen place.
I'm going to like blast this out of me.
But then you're like, you're looking around.
You're like, where the fuck am I?
Because these casinos are designed to make you lost.
That's true.
No windows, no clocks.
Nothing.
So you're so fucked up.
And you're like, I don't have my senses from the cold quite as high.
And then you're like, I could play some blackjack.
I'm like, fuck, I'm sick of the table.
Yeah, fuck, give me another hand.
Oh, that's great.
But it's like, it's also like, it's crazy everyone in Vegas, because they don't
live there, but
like everyone in Vegas is kind of a little heavy.
Sure.
Unless they're the, you know, the hot people.
Right.
But like the local, it's kind of heavy, but a lot of walking in those hotels.
That's true.
You feel it when your legs are dragging you down from a little cold action.
That's true.
Yeah.
You get the fattest people in the world and the hottest people in one place.
I never thought about that.
I'll tell you another thing I noticed in the Walgreens, the condoms are locked
up and the
meds are not.
That says everything about Vegas.
Yes.
Well, I mean, it's like, hey, I couldn't wear a condom.
They're locked up, but I can take my Valium.
It's fucking crazy.
Yeah.
But Vegas, it's not for me.
I get it.
It's cool.
Yeah.
It's fun.
The thing is, I love it for like two nights a year.
Yeah, exactly.
That's why it sucked to be sick for my trip this year.
Exactly.
Because for two nights, you're like, yeah, it's fun.
This is great.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, the hangover nailed it.
Swingers nailed it.
But I guess I think growing up in New Orleans, like those party towns, I'm like,
ah, get me
out of here.
But New Orleans is a party town with more culture.
Definitely.
There's some cool culture in Vegas, like in the history, but not like the
history, not
culture.
The Rat Pack and all that.
Oh, like the Bugsy Siegel shit, the Flamingo, like still there.
Like that shit's cool to me.
Yeah.
The old timey, like him just owing everybody money, him like selling off like
four.
He's like, you own 400% of the Flamingo to some gangsta.
Yeah.
They fucking whacked him.
My dad always says Vegas, when the mob ran it, was better.
That's what they all say.
Sure.
Not good for the people who don't whack.
As long as you don't fuck up.
Yeah, exactly.
You're counting cards.
You don't, you're like, I don't.
Yeah, yeah.
That was a Jewish mob too.
Really?
Well, yeah.
Bugsy, Ben Siegel.
Oh, yeah.
Meyer Lansky, Jew.
Ah.
Meyer, they were boys.
They grew up together in New York.
Wow.
And then Meyer Lansky, like, he didn't want him to get killed, but it's like a
certain
point when the whole fucking, when everyone's like, this guy's a liability,
they kill him.
Yeah, you get a Mo Green, shoot him in the eye.
Mo Green, that's a good death.
Oh, yeah.
It's all fucking Pacino's eyes, just staring at him.
I know, I know.
Great shot.
Yeah, I got the IV, the whole shebang.
Whoa.
So did you link up with Noah and did you have a lunch or a set?
I was in my room just trying to sleep it off, but no, we hung before and after
the show.
That's one thing about Vegas.
You do the casino, they treat you good.
That room is insane.
Insane.
There was an elliptical in my room.
Oh, my God.
I was like, this must have been the shit in like 1989.
Fucking, some fucking Dean Martin on the fucking thing with a cigarette in his
mouth.
Yeah, Vegas is great, but it's always a little dated.
You know, you're like, huh, big screen TV.
That's sitting on the floor.
It's like those TVs that like enter out of the fucking table and you're like,
damn, this
was like Architectural Digest 91.
I know.
And good luck finding the USB in a Vegas hotel.
No, that's a pump.
They have all USBs.
And I'm like, no one has this charger anymore.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's always a little behind.
There's always one behind.
One behind.
Yeah.
But, you know, it is great.
And it's like, you know, you're walking around.
You're like money.
You're like, oh, yeah, money is nothing to people here.
No, no.
It's such a, I hear tourism is down there.
Yeah.
But it is one of those things you're walking around and you're like, oh, yeah,
it's like
$8 for a fucking, I got like a liquid IV pack and they're like $8.
I'm like, yeah, that makes sense.
I know.
You're like, sure.
Why not?
You're basically living in an airport.
Everything is like three times the price.
Not only that, but the Walgreens is basically a liquor store.
It's supposed to be like a pharmacy.
It's supposed to like have stuff for like health, but it's literally all just
like, oh, like
Seagram's fucking Jack.
That's true.
Jim Beam.
Well, I did Parks Casino in Ben Salem, PA, not bragging.
Yeah.
And the guy goes, hey, if you guys want to go to dinner after, let me know.
I got you.
So I was like, great.
So me and my opener went to dinner.
I get the bill.
It's like 500 bucks.
I was like, what the hell?
I thought he's, I thought you said, he's like, I made a reservation for you.
Gotcha.
He got me.
He got you.
But in Vegas, I actually did have a credit.
So that was nice.
The credit's nice.
Although you're also like, you never know how much.
I know.
Also, I wonder if it's heard in Vegas that casinos are just everywhere now.
Oh, of course.
It used to be kind of special.
You know, we'll go to Vegas.
Yes.
Still the bright lights.
The strip is still kind of cool.
And then you're like, Reno's like the fucking, you know, messed up cousin.
Sure.
I would say casinos everywhere and your phone.
You got gambling in your pocket.
That's true.
So sports book used to be like, oh my God, I can bet on the ponies.
I got a UFC fight.
I got a football game.
Even now, it's like all draft kicks.
You used to have a guy.
You used to have a guy.
I'm going to call my guy.
Yes.
And he would break your leg.
That was Sopranos.
Webistics.
You have the sports book.
Yeah, right.
Fucking, now it's like, yeah, I literally, that's how I bet.
Yeah.
On my phone.
Everything.
It's like Netflix.
It all came to our house.
Everything fucking Uber Eats.
It's all at home now.
You don't have to go out.
And more isolated.
You're right.
I know, Amazon.
You used to have to go get, oh, we're out of cat food.
Now you just boop, boop, boop.
You go to a movie now, you feel like you're going to the library.
You feel like you're contributing to the culture.
I know, and I'll jerk off it either.
But, yeah, it's true.
It's all at the house.
It's no wonder kids aren't meeting up.
Yeah.
Weird times.
But, yeah, got through it.
Got through it.
That flight back, you're like, once you land, you're like, thank God.
I know.
I can just crash out.
That flight's no joke either.
You're like, all right, I'll fly back.
You're like, ah, five hours and 44 minutes.
The flight back's not bad.
The flight there, it's like, it's always longer going to the West Coast.
It's like fucking, it's like five and a half hours.
I was like, this is just like LA.
I know, but you gain time at least.
You gain time.
But when you come back, you're like, ah, I lost three hours.
Oh, yeah, you leave at 11 a.m.
You're like, you land at like 9 at 9.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Oh, oh, is she here?
Oh, boy.
Well, these people show up early, if you know what I mean.
Got to get parking.
Yeah, I was in Huntsville and Hattiesburg.
Damn, all right.
Are they close?
Not really, about a six-hour, five-hour drive.
You drove?
We drove and split it up, slept in Birmingham, then drove three hours the next
day.
That makes sense.
That's the way to do it.
Yeah, but boy, these rootin' dudes.
Your agent didn't do you any favors with that rowdy.
That's crazy.
I know.
There's just not much down there.
Alabama, Mississippi, it's tough marketing.
Yeah.
Or tough markets.
Or tough markets.
And, oof, man, we got heckled.
We got...
Really?
Yee-haw!
I was tap dancing up there.
My parents came out to the show.
It was brutal.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
It was a long weekend.
What did they think of the show?
Well, my retard college friends showed up as well.
Of course.
So, I told my friend, I was like, keep an eye on my parents.
Let me know what they laugh at.
Just keep an eye on them.
And he goes, you got it.
Your mom loved the fisting material.
Weird.
I see him after the show.
I go, so give it to me.
What did they laugh at?
He goes, they didn't laugh once.
And then I did a Charlie Kirk joke, and my dad, all he said was, oh, boy.
That was it.
That was the only reaction I got out of them the whole show.
So, good times.
Yeah, one time I had my therapist, when I did the beacon, my therapist sat
behind my mom.
And I was like, give me the scoop.
Of course he did.
He was like, yeah, she did not love the facial chunk.
And I was like, well, it was a story.
It's a story.
Also, therapist behind the mom at your show is like, that's a session in itself.
He could learn a lot there.
Oh, yeah.
What she laughs at, what she hates, what she likes.
How was Hattiesburg?
Well, we did Huntsville.
That was rough.
Yeah.
And then we did Hattiesburg.
Huntsville was the von Braun.
Exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
The museum there.
Yeah, the Nazi.
Yeah.
It's the weirdest mishmash of good old boys, kind of ghetto black, and autistic
NASA people.
All these great engineers, right?
Exactly.
Good cost of living down there.
Very cheap.
They have a pop-a-shot at the Von Braun Museum.
That's how you know they're like, these people don't like museums.
Yeah.
They're like, throw in a basketball game, old fucker.
Let's get some Pac-Man in here, too.
Right.
It's like those startups that throw a foosball table in.
You're like, this is still a job.
What are we doing here?
So, yeah.
So, Huntsville, they came to Huntsville.
They came to Hattiesburg because it's two hours from New Orleans.
Where is Hattiesburg?
Mississippi.
That's right.
Holy shit.
I don't think I've ever performed in Mississippi.
Oh, really?
I'd love to.
I just haven't done it.
Well, I saw George Carlin in Biloxi when I was a kid.
I remember this, yeah.
And, oh, man, did he get heckled?
He fucking yelled at everybody.
And I was like, this is so embarrassing.
I remember being embarrassed for the South because I'm a Southerner.
So, I was like, we got George Carlin here.
And he died a little later.
He was like, you fucking cunt, you toothless yokel, pieces of shit.
I was like, damn.
And that's the only time I saw him perform.
Damn, yeah.
I never got to see him.
Yeah, yeah.
Such a legend, man.
I know, but that's how I felt up there.
Yeah.
I wanted to chew out my parents.
You're not laughing at shit.
You fucking ruined me.
Were you getting heckled or were they just kind of tight?
Huntsville heckled like crazy.
And then I think Mississippi, you know, I got-
What are they heckling?
They're just yelling shit like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
Yeah.
You know, fuck up.
Hey, you blow me.
You know, shit like that.
I had to throw one guy out.
I mean, it got bad in Huntsville.
It's crazy when you have to throw someone out.
Like, I was in the comedy store in LA and this lady just wouldn't stop.
And I'm pretty nice.
Like, I don't want to throw anyone out because I'm like, ah, you know, they 