Name: Mark Normand & Sam Morril - Might Be Drunk - Podcast
Uploaded: 2025-12-08T02:00:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mark Normand & Sam Morril - Might Be Drunk - Podcast' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mark Normand & Sam Morril - Might Be Drunk - Podcast' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-08. Transcript available.

Mark Normand & Sam Morril - Might Be Drunk - Podcast

did he really just butt plugs I'm getting a lot of butt plugs off of my algo
yeah no not I like
people inserting them on the subway what yeah yeah it's really weird butt plugs
yeah yeah yeah
who's inserting a butt plug on the subway like ladies you tell us it's on the
two train
all right all right and we're off to the races guys good to good to be back a
solo app which I'm
kind of pumped for dude it's about time we got a lot to talk about it's been a
minute I mean not
really we talk but that's true but I was in one of these you were in Utah we
did a Knicks game you
bombed at a Mr. Baseball that hurt dude that was that was it is you ever those
cartoon bombs where
you just start sweating it's insane you're it's like your body's having a
reaction yeah it's it
was awful it was I felt bad your body's going through fight or flight you don't
even realize
it you know just get the back sweat your mouth gets dry you kind of start stammering
but you walk in
oh yeah there we go with Donnie Baseball himself Don Mattingly I just posted
yeah sometimes you uh
bomb in front of one of your heroes that's part of it you don't think about
that when you get into
this you're like I'm it's gonna work out you don't think like someday a guy who
got me into
baseball will see me fail at what I love damn well he never won a ring so uh-huh
you saw him fail too
he was a great it's not his fault he was a great player I love Donnie Baseball
did he pat you on
the butt after like oh no he was I think he was nice because he was probably
felt horrible for me
you know what happened was uh so I'm basically doing stand-up at this uh gold
glove recipients dinner
it's a really nice gig it's at the plaza hotel which I realized I don't think I've
ever been inside
New Yorker and I was like I don't think I've been inside here it's gorgeous uh
it's one of those gigs
where they're being like it's gonna be great they say it so many times you're
like oh I'm gonna bomb
oh yeah when they start saying how great it is and then they let slip that
another guy had done the
gig and done so poorly that he didn't get paid right he had to give the money
back so he did so bad so
this is the first thing I hear then they say another legend I'm not gonna say
either of their
names I'll tell you off air Darryl Strawberry no he still got paid no but they
have uh another guy
who they said basically got chased off stage it was like a whole thing whoa
okay I'm hearing this is
great so far I've heard two tough stories here yeah um but the guy running it
was super they were all
so nice and they're all giving all these gifts it's Rawlings all these nice
like here's a leather bag
from the material that we make our gloves from and I was like damn I play with
a Rawlings glove as a kid
this is yeah and uh I walk in I'm like you know I'm like Dave Winfield legend
all these great Johnny
Bench who's like is there got some award dude best Johnny Bench story I don't
know if you've heard
this story great baseball player Mickey Mantle goes up to him at this thing and
goes hey let's go across
the street and have a drink at the Marriott and Johnny Bench is like my hero
Mickey Mantle wants to
drink with me oh my god so he takes him across the street and as they try to
walk in the bouncer
goes I can't let you back in Mickey oh that's great he was using him to he was
using to try to get back
in the bar because he got kicked out he got kicked out oh that's hilarious so I'm
at this event did the
guy go you're out of here so I'm at this event and it's like you know it's the
plaza it's super nice
sure I even wrote a bunch of baseball jokes I was like I'm gonna write jokes I'm
gonna come prepared
I wrote like a good eight minutes or so baseball give us anyone best one worst
one anyone I'll give
you a few yeah I opened this hit I opened by saying um this is the gold glove
dinner we award the people
with the nastiest hands unfortunately Andrew Cuomo couldn't be here tonight big
pop out of the gate
then I said um I had a bunch I had a bunch that did well I said uh the Los
Angeles Dodgers congrats to
the Dodgers uh you guys won the World Series what an inspiring story the team
with the most money won
it's like a metaphor for America if you're rich you'll be all right
unfortunately the rest of us
are kind of like the Colorado Rockies high and not doing well hey that got a
big pie so I had a few
like those yeah I wrote these all the day I was like I'm feeling good I had one
about Clayton
Kershaw having like a fat gut and still striking dude I'm like you're getting fanned
by a guy who
looks like fucking Paul Giamatti without his shirt on I had all these jokes
they're all killing
I'm like I'm all right I look in the crowd I see Bob Costas like toasting a
glass I'm like holy
shit broadcasting legend Bob Costas love Costas the Greek and I'm like I'm
killing I'm gonna
fucking kill and by the way it was a weird setup I'm going on right after uh
some like Rockette
dancers and Joe Piscopo oh my god and Piscopo could not have been cooler super
nice SNL Joe
Piscopo the 80s this is like a fever dream it's crazy so yeah though I'm doing
a bunch of baseball
jokes they all are hitting I do a bunch of jokes about uh I can't remember a
bunch of the rest
but they were all kind of hitting I was like wow I'm kind of locked in this is
pretty good
and then it gets to a point where I'm like well I'm out of baseball jokes I
guess I kind of just
have to do my act but you think you'd buy some goodwill with these you wrote
jokes for the event
they're hitting you should be in the in the zone they're hitting and uh dude
holy shit I don't know
how I lost them that hard I did I'm like what are my jokes that hit the hardest
I'm thinking like
specials and I'm like anything off limits or like nothing I did a dick joke and
I just heard a woman
go oh no that's not the sound I was going for oh that's what you want to hear
when you whip it out
yeah no because it was it was an ugh of disgust oh that's what I get
dude it was terrible so I go from like killing to just silence and it's those
one of those weird
gigs I'm like this is like a gala dinner with awards they don't want to hear a
comic for more
than 10 minutes so if it was just 10 minutes I would have crushed that's true
but they're like
you gotta do 30 they did not want to hear me do 30. they never want 30. it was
it was bad dude and I
had an agent there and she uh she tried to leave I go where do you think you're
going I was like
you're watching me get drunk I'm not doing this alone so we start ordering
rounds I'm like keep
them coming oh yeah and uh it was one of those tough things where like they
they were I think
disappointed with how I went but they also were like what he didn't he did his
act
we hired him to do his act a lot of the jokes hit I think they were just
shocked it went so south
yeah you're the new Trevor Bauer you've been disgraced you kicked out of the
league
oh wow that sucks brought to you by the same people that talk like this this is
George Brett talking
about shitting his pants you ever seen this let's see yeah but I don't think
the players were the
problem I think it's like the players why I mean I think that was the issue I
had to go to the bathroom
so bad in the car I'm going travel cozy up man I gotta shit George Brett was a
man dude
if you're gonna get caught on a hot mic this is what you want you know he could
have had a slur
in there or something I'm good twice a year for that dude so anyway I'm at I'm
at the cellar and uh
Keith Robinson walks up to me and he goes I heard you bombed this dinner and I
said oh what happened
he goes a friend of mine called me and she goes do you know Sam Murrell and
Keith goes yeah and she
goes read the fucking room oh do you remember where you lost him and Keith was
dying laughing oh that's
great remember where you lost him um no it was a few because I was a little up
and down for a while
and then I just kind of lost him like I I kind of bridged into stand-up I did
that rain delay baseball
joke and that killed okay and I kind of had a few good jokes in there I had a
few others that just
hit and then it just kind of fizzled out but it's uh well you know what read
the room let me let me
defend a friend here read the booking sheet like a look at his website look at
uh at a bit of his you
know like you can't just book all these people and then go oh it wasn't exactly
perfectly curated to
my uh my standards like 30 minutes is too long I agree like at that type of
thing they picture any
award show you watch if you're watching the Oscars they're not doing 30 yeah of
course they're doing
like five or that's what it should be and they hit the wrap-up music you know
because they know
everybody's like get keep it moving yeah yeah I did a gig uh I don't want to
say it was a Jewish gig
and I'm the only you don't want to say but you just told us well it was more
than that but uh I was
the only non-jew there by a mile okay I saw one black guy we did this you know
why is he pointing
at me yeah and uh oh there you go the thing about the red hat that drove you to
a point of exhaustion
which was misdiagnosed by a I'm not gonna say what race what people uh doctor
and what hospital
and what media went to we know I can't say that it was a Jewish doctor that was
the black guy I
pointed to so by the way that was that was more restraint than we're used to
seeing yeah it took
him 22 seconds to say the yeah the Jew thing he cleaned it up it took him a
while to blame us
so of course I went too hard out of the gate I'm the only non-jew there I'm the
goy
and I we were up on this high thing doing a show I go boy we're so high up I
feel like Anne Frank
you know and they're like boo and I go come on I took a train here you know and
they're like fuck you
and then I do my act they hate me they hate me at one point I have a Muslim bit
that I'm this bit
hits so I'm like I'm gonna do the Muslim bit in the Jew room this is gonna
crush and the joke
started working and then the mic went out it went and then it came back on and
I went
oh man how ironic the uh Muslim joke didn't work here you guys really do run
shit applause break
wow and then I went back to bombing it is funny when you get them for and it's
like complete pander
I know it's like complete and it's like I've done it yeah I was doing it I did
that all the shit you
have to do it like around applause this guy's here zing him like whatever yeah
a couple those off but
then it was like oh man 30 minutes is crazy you know it's like fighting like a
pro fighter you're
like if I last seven minutes this is great yeah no I was like it was one of
those that we were like
you're a little shaken after you're like that oh yeah that's rough they make a
great Manhattan at the
plaza though no I had a few of them I was down in them yeah and then uh the
agent and I we end up
at a bar she's just watching me get shit face yeah and uh met Ruby and Scott
Rogowski hit the town
late night all right good Ruby in his in his fedora we just got lit I was like
I just need to get it's
one of those gigs sometimes you're like you bomb and you're like alcohol will
help yeah it is a good
short-term solution yes like look if I do that every night you're not gonna
bomb every night but
you you have a hard bomb you get lit up sometimes you're like thank god for
alcohol I know I know
that's why these sober people I'm so impressed like you go through something
and you just have to
raw dog it yeah that's impressive you have to feel pain yeah like I was at skank
fest and the the best
way to get through skank fest is I just drink the whole time you know you wake
up you have a bloody
mary then you just keep going and then by six you're like whoa and then you
have to do a set but how was
that set it was a little wonky but much like the baseball thing they pick oh I'm
so below you can
see my the bloated face that's me doing a white power you look pretty defeated
here oh yeah I'm
hurting but you got to social as Greg