Name: Bert Kreischer - Free Bert w/ Mark Normand & Sam Morril - We Might Be Drunk Podcast
Uploaded: 2026-01-26T02:00:53.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bert Kreischer - Free Bert w/ Mark Normand & Sam Morril - We Might Be Drunk Podcast' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bert Kreischer - Free Bert w/ Mark Normand & Sam Morril - We Might Be Drunk Podcast' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-26. Transcript available.

Bert Kreischer - Free Bert w/ Mark Normand & Sam Morril - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

oh what an entrance come on leather pants who have you become oh what are you
talking about
oh my lord are you a cologne salesman this was this outfit was clearly not for
us but i'm excited
to get sloppy seconds or whatever this is this is a seth myers outfit all right
hanging out with
guy fieri too much it's leather pants is bold as fuck dude how do you get those
on with your sweaty
ass thighs come on it's uh they feel sexy as fuck oh that's smooth yeah yeah
yeah yeah that's real
cow tip i'm stepping up my road game i'm stepping up my pant game yeah i guess
you're shirtless on
stage so you can only really get pants yeah are we rolling yeah oh yeah yeah
yeah no uh
yeah you know when i did lucky i was like i was like oh my all my thumbnails
are identical it's me
and jeans shirtless and so like they know if you have a new special if you have
a suit on you know
and so i got when you fall off your jorts maybe that's the fucking fall off
special oh jorts
oh like a kilt that could be fun i i got a uh that was the hotel joke remember
for people wearing uh
kilt it's pants down then shit
oh no he goes unless you're wearing a kilt i fucked up his joke god damn it
when i was a young comic i was
walking through i used to wear hawaiian shirts all the time and i was walking
through and uh in the back
and at the cellar and he goes only two types of people wear hawaiian shirts
party animals or
which one are you and you know me i was like oh it's a party animal oh that's
hilarious
no i decided to step up my pants game because i was like i was like you so i
did it in lucky
and then on this tour i've been wearing snake skin uh snake skin bedazzled
pants what the fuck it's like
why not you're in an arena why not step it up a little bit instead of wearing
jeans and
you know and it's like listen if you take yourself too seriously i would love
to go full eddie murphy
oh full leather yeah do you remember eddie murphy wore that of course how could
he forget but what
what a statement yeah like no one's done cat williams does you better be a
great comic in that fucking
like if you if you're like a young comic trying to pull that shit off and you're
bombing
a bomb in that suit you're fucking sweaty yeah schumer did a leather special
think about it let's talk
about like what comics wear in specials right yeah so like i think in all tom
specials it's like a
it's like a nondescript jacket yep yep with a shirt yeah a suits one people
made it's kind of similar
too i feel like yeah it's but it's like it's almost like you don't want the
outfit to speak for
yourself right yes but if you're shirtless why not allow the outfit to
complement the conversation
sure interesting you know yeah yeah but i mean you look like a pro wrestler
doing a press tour
thank you very much by the way when i wore the i wore the snake skin ones out
with the with the top
owen hart it wasn't owen hart wasn't it owen hart that's when he died yeah yeah
i was like hopefully
your own heart yeah i couldn't get it out i said bret hart sorry keep going
there we're slow to start
this we're sorry we had a couple pods earlier yeah oh god and i want to drink
that's the death
of podcasting i know it is that's the death of podcasting it's so true when you
come in the owen
heart of podcasting yeah well it's like fucking twice like i fucked my wife and
we're like hey that
was pretty good and she's like let's go again i'm like i got we're only going
to ruin it and then
and then if i come in and i notice you guys don't have energy and i talk a lot
the comments are like
he wouldn't shut the fuck up no no no yeah it's it's we're here we're here we're
bringing it for you
dude we're gonna step it up we need a drink let's have a drink i can't i can't
drink what's up please
oh you didn't hear medication yeah uh blood clots what yeah my legs yeah all
right so we won't drink
no no no you drink no no no you know i never cared about that yeah bad you all
right in my lungs yeah
yeah blood clots fuck guys guys i'm saving it for rogan so is that from
drinking or no it's from
passing out on a plane passing on a plane with your leg like this what yeah it's
like just inactivity
on a plane i flew back and forth from la to the east coast about probably about
five times from
december 18th to new year's eve okay and uh nashville included but um and i got
off that
the last flight i had from new york to do kelly clarkson man on the plane i was
like god damn it
my fucking leg hurts and it'd been hurting for like a week two weeks all over
in different locations and
it was really hard to get you a peg leg dude that'd be fucking sick oh that's a
good thumbnail dude
that's a little eye patch peg leg dude i i was scared when it when it happened
because you know
it's a blood clot you don't you know it's a blood clot immediately i don't
think i would know i would
know you know really 100 no you 100 no and then i went in i was like it was throbbing
at night
and then i i told my wife i was like something's i woke up at two in the
morning to make a drink
to go back to bed because i was like i can't i have no rest and um leanne's
like i'm taking you to the
emergency room and i fuck you know when you go usually you're like i'm fine and
i was like i want
to go to the emergency room and i went in and i told him i said i think i have
a blood clot and they're
like you don't have a blood clot you don't have any of the the markers are you're
very overweight like
i'm overweight but i'm like i'm not oh you got to be very overweight totally inactive
like those are
the markers for blood clots usually she's like you you seem fairly active and
she goes i think it's
your sciatic nerve which i do have a sciatic problem and then uh is that back
back like right
here got it shoots down your leg okay and i told her i said but it's been
traveling it was in my foot
it was on the outside of my foot it was in my calf it was on the outside of my
calf it was in my it
was all over my leg it's torn like a motherfucker dude i was crazy pain she
comes back they do a
ultrasound she's like she's like you have you have a significant bug caught in
your in behind
your knee she goes i didn't see that she goes we gotta see if they're in your
lungs and then took
me in and then they're like they're in your lungs and so then they're like how
the fuck did a tell
beat you to fucking this i know it's it's just it's a there's a guy from cnn
young dude flew to
afghanistan didn't move a lot on his plane i guess landed guy this i hear every
blood clot story you'd
ever young guy gets a blood clot died two days later but don't a lot of people
just sleep on a plane
like they do but i think it's the angle maybe it's so there's a number there
honestly no one can
really figure out what happened like they're going like how did it happen to
you yeah and so i mean
that's where the man when the internet chimes in you're like oh don't read that
shit have you ever
had covid 11 times uh were you vaccinated four times were you on testosterone a
ton um are you were
you inactive on the plane drunk passed out alcohol has nothing to do with it
luckily because that was
like my but uh but yeah it's like all of the above this guy he got a blood clot
and he died he's like
in shape guy yeah you just you don't know i mean listen man some people just
die yeah there's no
reason they die it's just a fluke wow there's that one guy who died jogging embolism
in his lungs
dbt that's what i got from the plane ride i'm fly i've been flying west coast
east coast for like
the past three weeks and i'm going to oregon this weekend dehydration is a huge
thing okay because it
thickens your blood coffee huge thing i had like six coffees today oh shit dude
the key is i'm worried
i'm worried about terrorists on planes i need a fucking stewardess to shake me
if i pass out
get compressed just get compression socks it won't happen really if you get
compression socks it won't
happen and if you get up i have to get up every 30 minutes on a flight now so i
get up like a
lunatic like like almost like i'm like one of those uh those scouts on the
planes looking for
terrorists yeah yeah but yeah so i'm not drinking for uh oh indefinitely i got
a second opinion
all right i think you're ugly too wow this is crazy burn on no drinking she
said to me i mean i'll tell
you the number she goes you're gonna be on blood thinners and she was like and
this is she like it
got really serious real quick because i've even posted like a poll on instagram
because everyone
thought it was a cramp it was like and i was like guys am i a hypochondriac or
do you think i have a
blood clot and everyone 95 hypochondriac god that would suck if that was your
last post oh god is
this a tumor that was his last story do you know what leanne said to me in the
hospital room because
i'm then i get diagnosed with the blood clot and it gets super serious real
quick then they find
them in my lungs and it gets wildly seriously wildly quick and my blood my
blood pressure through the
roof my heart rate skyrocketing they take me in to do the ct scan the cat scan
and they put uh iodine
into my bloodstream and they're like they're like hey uh are you allergic to
iodine oh geez and i'm like
i don't know i don't think i've ever had it and he goes well we'll just find
out like well hold on
what was like that what's like a side effect and he goes oh uh anaphylactic
shot oh and i go can you
can you test it and he goes nah it was just we put it in he goes you know if
you'll be you're in the
hospital safest place to be so they he goes you're gonna feel have you gotten
into anaphylactic shock
no i never i did once it sucks i looked like fucking hitch in that scene your
eyes bug out your throat
clothes what was it for you i was i'll tell you how fair i don't want to tell
people my my uh killings
was it was it come it was come god damn it he'd be dead by now yeah
damn yeah yeah so then uh no it's it's brutal dude they jam that fucking epi
pen your leg
well what's crazy in a bird shit on me on the way to the on the way my mom
rushed me to the
fucking hospital and they bird shit on me and my mom's like that's good luck
that's good luck
doesn't feel like yeah but so they go when they when they tell you you're going
they when you get
iodine they go your throat is going to tighten yeah it's going to get real hot
and by the way this is
like what happens yeah when and and then you're gonna feel like you shit
yourself and you're gonna
feel like you pissed yourself okay and i'm like these are all symptoms of anaphylactic
shock i think
yeah and he's how do i know if i'm having anaphylactic shock yeah so they flood
me with iodine
and then and i feel it and i feel like i shit myself and by the way i'm naked
on this thing with
a blanket over my dick jesus and then the guy comes up to me the nurse comes up
to me and he's
like i'm in the cat scan and they stop it so i'm halfway through and he just leans
in he goes
hey man are you having a heart attack and i was like i don't i don't i don't
know why are they
out of the doctor give me a answer here you got a lot of questions am i
allergic to iodine i don't
know yes and so uh i go i don't i don't think i am and he was like your heart
rate is through
the roof and your blood pressure is skyrocketing and i was like dude i'm having
a fucking panic
attack you asked me if i'm allergic to iodine i feel like i shit my pants i'm
getting a cat scan
and then he just goes oh no never mind the phone rings the answer he goes you
got blood clots in
your lungs and i was like and so in your lungs yeah and so i don't know
anything about this how bad
well they're not as bad so blood clots can get it's the embolism where the
blood clot explodes i think in
your lungs you don't want i had blood clots in my lungs i i mean i never saw a
picture of them so
but they said they were small they weren't like you know crazy big but uh but
then they're like
the lady goes um he's burying his soul right now sorry he's talking about