Name: Bob Helps a Family Through Quarantine Conflicts | Bob Saget
Uploaded: 2020-05-08T17:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bob Helps a Family Through Quarantine Conflicts | Bob Saget' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bob Helps a Family Through Quarantine Conflicts | Bob Saget' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-08. Transcript available.

Bob Helps a Family Through Quarantine Conflicts | Bob Saget

hey everybody it is bob and it's bob sagets here for you that's what this is
and i am happy to be
back with another episode i believe it's 8 425 which is also my temperature
right now no it's
not and that is not good humor at this time and i hope none of you have fevers
i know some of you do
and some of you are hurting and um i'm thinking about you all the time actually
it's uh it's an
obsession to care about other people which is uh i guess the positive of this
time um and to regroup
and then come back strong and uh hopefully keep your health and stay at home
and practice safety
and all that stuff wear a condom over your whole body uh just cover yourself in
plastic just uh you
know saran works no it doesn't anyway uh i'm just uh i'm at home my wife's in
another room she was
doing pilates this morning i'm just sitting around uh wanting to do this show
and talk to people
today because i feel like my outreach program has been going very well uh
people call up they call
the number up there and they leave a message it's right there on your thing
when you clicked on this
and it tells you yeah i'm very technical and it tells you you know to call me
leave a message
or uh a question that you have and then the other thing you got to do is review
this afterward and rate
it and then subscribe that's what you got to do uh i'm told i'm not a fan of
the review it and rate
it because some people might say you know negative stuff because there's a lot
of haters but you know
what i'm i've had a career of that so uh i just keep doing what i'm doing and i
make people laugh and
the people i call feel like they know me so i just want to be uh you know here
for people and uh
and talk to them because i enjoy it i i've kind of when i was like seven years
old i would sit on the
toilet uh and and be you know i'd finish my stuff already and i would hold up
like a box of tissues
and do a commercial for it and pretend as i was talking to the hamper that i
was across from the toilet
i didn't go to the bathroom in the hamper that would have been wrong it would
have soiled the
clothes that double soil soil cubed and i would have done commercials i would
do commercials and
i would pretend i was hosting a talk show and i was going to go to med school
and stuff and then i
became a comedian so it's kind of a natural thing i've always kind of felt like
a broadcaster the first
show i had before i did full house was a show on cbs that they fired me from it
was called the morning
program and it was on cbs uh against good morning america and today's show in
1987 and uh uh 86 87
and i was on it for five months it lasted nine and they fired me because they
said i was too hot for
morning television uh i was asked by one of the hosts marriott hartley very
nice person she said are you a type
a person and i said well i'm working on my anus and i meant a dash n-e-s-s but
they thought i said anus
and she said go to your room and they sent me to my room at the top of the
stairs in the set and there
was nowhere to go and i had to stand there commercial breaks were uh they let
the show run longer there
there was more content than there weren't as many commercials and i had to
stand there for like 15
minutes and it was pretty degrading and then the next day i showed up and my
chair was gone as the
third sidekick or whatever i was and then i was on the steps just as an
announcer going it's 15 minutes
after the hour and i decided that that's the end of that ain't gonna do that
anymore so i ended up
somehow getting this job on this show full house and then i just cleaned for a
living and here i am
doing it just to be living so i want to hear from you guys you guys have called
this number at the top
of the thing and left a message and have a question or something i'm calling a
guy named bj i don't know
where he is located i don't know what area code this is i mean i do i can't
tell you guys i'm going to
keep it confidential and uh this will be bj and i think he'll pick up i think
it's the kind of guy
bj is i think he's a quicker picker-upper he's a bountiful guy hello hey bj bob
saget here how you
doing bob how are you sir i'm good sir i'm good thank you i can't believe you're
calling that's awesome
no but you left a nice message so why the hell not right um yeah well between
us go ahead yeah
oh yeah no i actually uh interviewed you a couple years back or maybe a year
and a half or so ago
you played at the mgm in northfield i got to meet you after the show that was
super kind of you to
take the time to say hi to my my wife and i oh that was really nice i remember
that and you guys are
still together right yes we are all so good and are you are you quarantined
together still
yeah we are we are so um uh she's uh actually uh uh she works at a nursing home
and stuff so uh
you know that's a little bit tense whatever and i'm i've been working from home
here so
um so no we're you know doing okay as best you can so far is she okay she's she's
uh in a nursing
home working right she is yeah so um but they in ohio they locked that stuff
down um really really
fast uh so which was which was good obviously so um they haven't had any any
issues or anything like
that um you know they're they're all so far and you know you know god willing
they won't uh they
won't hear anytime uh you know anytime sooner or hopefully it's uh you know it's
all good till
they write everything out and and she um and they don't allow visitors there
correct
no they don't yeah they they shut that i think they did that in ohio a couple
weeks before they
did it everywhere i mean i think it's pretty much everywhere now but um but
yeah they did that in
ohio thankfully kind of a couple weeks early so you know uh as to not you know
uh expose the uh any
of the residents to anything you know and coincidentally the workers as well
too well please
please send my regards and best health wishes and safety for her and for you
but uh give her my
regards if you would please oh i absolutely will that's super that's super nice
to you so i wanted
to uh i wanted to talk to you a little bit about uh you know one of my absolute
uh comedy favorites
i know he's one of yours too uh you know rodney dangerfield i just wondered if
you had uh kind of
any uh uh any any good rodney dangerfield stories you might be able to share
and kind of how you first
met him oh my god i have so many of them um and i've talked about them i i did
i wrote a book called
dirty daddy and i talked about it but you know people aren't they can get
people now can get the
audiobook it's seven hours long it's better than ambient it'll put you down but
um but uh rodney
had met me i was 24 years old and i was at the comedy store in la jolla in san
diego area and rodney
came in with two ladies that he'd met uh and uh he was staying in a place
called la costa which is a
spa to clean out but rodney had you know been smoking pot every day of his life
and uh and you know
showbiz since he was 20 or whatever and he was originally in the aluminum siding
business people
don't know that his name was originally jacob cohen then he changed it to jack
roy and then some club
owner made him rodney dangerfield so he comes in and i'd been on the merv griffin
show like 10 times
or something uh by then and that was an afternoon show that that was kind of
like ellen it was a lot
like ellen actually except he hadn't uh come out and um that's nice but what
happened was
rodney walks in and he looks at me and he goes hey man hey man you're funny i
saw you on the merv
griffin show you're funny you you got your brain never stops you're jewish you're
never gonna be
happy you're never gonna have any friends but uh you're funny you're funny man
and i'm like this is
great i got a best new friend and and he said i said what are you doing down
here he says i was on the
costa i had to clean out and i can't do it no booze no coke no pot no pills i
can't do it man i can't do
it and i'm like wow this is more information than you tell a shrink and we
actually just we we became
friends that night at that comedy store in la jolla there was a comedian named
bruce baum who's a good
friend and robin williams was there also both nights of that weekend and it
turned out i was staying at
the beach uh the comedy store mitzi shore uh had a condo for all of the comedians
to stay at
and i slept in a bed where david letterman had brought his dog so they were
like fleas in the bed
that they never uh they never defleed and uh so it was an itchy itchy weekend
but rodney all of a
sudden showed up in the condo and was like how you doing man i got nowhere to
go and and then robin was
around and we were all hanging out at the beach and i was a young guy who
couldn't get a job but i was
doing stand-up and gone to acting school and rodney was really um the best
story that came out of it
was just his sincerity because he loved young comedians that's why he put me on
his first young comedian
special on hbo along with sam kennison and rita rudner and louie anderson and
yakov a bunch of
people were on it and bob nelson and richie gold interesting some people that
you know better than
others and it's just show business strange and he uh said to me i man just keep
going you're funny you
got talent just go like a tank just put blinders on go like a tank just people
are going to try
to keep you from making it nobody wants you to succeed just go like a tank and
i think that's
kind of a theme for where we're at in the world right now just that philosophy
of you just got to keep
you know in your career and many people don't have one right now but they will
i mean this is going to
pass and we're going to come back and not to use anything but positive rhetoric
i'm not quoting
anyone that we watch on the news i'm just saying it's human nature we are going
to come back and
and this is as they say a wimpy virus as and it's killing people we have a wimpy
virus killing people
and it is something that does die it's not like it lasts forever um but it's
taking people's lives
but within a year i do firmly believe in my gut that we'll be back and we'll be
back strong so
that's that's where i'm at right now so rodney was kind of an inspiration to me
and built my
confidence and telling me he thought i was funny because i thought he was the
funniest person i'd ever
seen so um that's that's a rodney story for you nice man that's awesome i i uh
i did great uh
obviously great advice you know to uh to live by especially now um but the one
joke that i you know
real quick i'll tell you and then i'm sure you're making a lot of these calls
but um uh i heard this
on uh gilbert's podcast and then actually you actually use this so i i front of
a rock and roll band here
uh out this way and and one night you know we're we're on stage and we're
playing it we're we're really
playing great like it's where everything's locked in together but the crowd i
mean you can hear a pin
drop at the end of every song it's like there's a lot of people there and they're
just looking at
this like we're we're we're playing some something completely foreign to them
um and so uh yeah the
the the the joke was uh that i'd heard from gilbert actually use this on stage
part of from ronzi i
said hey it was in canton ohio which is nearby where i live in young stuff but
i was like i've been
there what's what's the name of the band the band's called turbo lovers um it's
uh it's just an
original rock and roll band we kind of sound like ac dc but uh but yeah so we're
on stage and and i go
uh you know we're we're kind of dynas dynas slow dance so i go okay if anybody
tells you you're a good
crowd if anybody tells you you're a good crowd you spit in their face okay and
i got that you know
and they all just looked at me and stared at me and we went to the next song
but you know that's
my uh that's really my ball ring that's a very clever line i actually have
never heard that because
it's basically telling them they're a crowd and and they should they 