Name: Bob’s Calling to Check in on You | Bob Saget
Uploaded: 2020-05-15T17:00:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bob’s Calling to Check in on You | Bob Saget' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bob’s Calling to Check in on You | Bob Saget' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-15. Transcript available.

Bob’s Calling to Check in on You | Bob Saget

hey everybody yes it's uh bob saget i say my name as one word it's so weird but
little kids will go
it's bob saget hi bob saget they can't just say bob or like a gym coach go hey
saget get over here
a lot of a lot of people on the studio go saget i'll go dude because i did that
on a special once
in the opening titles so people have never really called me in the past five
years by bob or saget
they just go bob saget so it's kind of semi-insulting from friends and family i'm
bob saget no i'm your cousin yes bob saget very rain man bob saget definitely
bob saget i'm charlie
babbitt so um this is that kind of episode of bob saget's here for you that i'm
excited about
because i keep saying i'm excited but that's what a hyperactive uh kind of ocd
add guy does he says he's
excited and i am i'm excited i can't hide it i know i know i want you don't
have to pay for that right i
didn't sing it um anyway uh welcome to another episode of me calling people uh
which i enjoy doing
immensely they leave a message on the thing right at the top is a phone number
uh you leave your your
name your number what you want to talk about what your question is and then i
try to bring you happiness
by uh hopefully you don't turn on me leave a nice message and then say i hate
you which has happened
life is like that you read comments and they're just like evil it's just like
beetlejuice hate you
no stars so what you have to do with a podcast which i'm against because i don't
like being
you know i'm asking for trouble but you have to rate it review it and then
subscribe we want you to
subscribe because this thing's just going to get better and better because the
more i do something the
more i love it and i give a thousand percent everything i do just ask my wife
no don't stay
away she's in the other room and she likes it that way that's our social
distancing it's just called
daytime anyway i'm going to make some calls i'm going to call pete uh and here
we go i don't know
where he is i don't know what area code this is but i'm going to find out and i
hope he's doing good
and i hope he answers it's always good when people answer so this is going to
be pete
hello hey pete bob saget how you doing man bob saget that's me how are you i'm
cool how you doing
not much i'm hanging go ahead i hear you i'm out here in south florida enjoying
the weather i heard
you on the levitard show yesterday yeah they gave they they raked me over the
coals and they're friends
of mine it was really weird they were like you know they're like promoting me
and then they started
yelling at me because i promoted my podcast which is what i'm calling you on
that was an interesting
experience because i like them i i like dan and i like stugatz but they kind of
like i don't know
what what was that like a frat prank when the when i called what was that uh i
mean i don't know how
many times you've been on the show but i'm a man i've known those guys since
they were nobody i mean
when stugatz was firing all his co-workers and not paying them and stuff um so
i think they just
playing with you man they like to get aroused out of celebrities and uh but i'm
not a celebrity i'm one of
everybody i'm a comedian you know i'm not i'm not some guy that cuts ribbons at
markets or does a
reality show because i did a porn video once you know i'm i'm not that dude pete
no i hear you man
but you know you are bob saget and you know to a lot of us you're a big time
guy man come on don't sell
yourself short oh that's sweet of you i love to sell myself long if i could
sell myself long wow i could have
been i could have been a male male uh prostitute which uh i wasn't gonna say i
was trying i was
trying to stay pc but it's hard to stay pc in a world that's upside down right
yeah yeah hey i don't
want to tell long jokes because you're the professional of that no remember the
joke about
can i tell a quick joke remember are you kidding i'm living for this pete first
thing let me ask before
before you do that are you doing okay we got into this pretty quick yeah no it's
all good it's like
we don't who needs foreplay but but but how how are you doing in general man it's
a little tough man
you know i uh i work in i guess you know i work in sports uh for uh you know a
lot of sports networks
i work behind the scenes i'm a replay guy i kind of do all the replays while
you're watching the sporting
events so if there's a touchdown or or something that's replayed we're a bunch
of guys like myself
sit in a truck we watch all the cameras and and we're the guys that kind of sit
there every night
you know every weekend every holiday you're watching a game we're going to work
and and kind of doing the
games and and showing you guys at home the big sports fans what it's all about
so when sports got cut
short sports i always thought would be one thing that would never go away my
friend i thought i'll
always have a job in sports world war ii they played sports you know yeah so it's
uh it's an
eye-opening experience and i'd say you know you get to close to your 50s and
you start wondering what
else you do in your life and you know you start doing a lot of that at home i'm
sure you know like
what would i do if this doesn't come back what am i going to do for a living
you know well you know
where am i going to make money you know how old are you by the way you sound
like you're in your early 20s
i'm almost 50 man wow well you got a young voice so you must have a young way
of thinking so
i'm sorry you're going through that crap because it is it's it's affecting
everybody and you're right
in the middle of it um but it's going to come back we'll be able to do that
again this is just a horrible
horrible delay and uh people's lives are at stake are you feeling okay are you
doing okay i don't want to
get too into the dark clouds so i want to keep this a little more positive i'm
so stoked to just be
talking to you man oh thank you i'm happy and being able to tell a little bit
of our story you know
yeah i i got you well if you're if you're not feeling okay just get the help
and you'll feel
better i'm just telling you that that's what i feel you man think positive
because now tell me the joke
let's go to the joke because i don't want let's not go there right i don't know
it's a bad lead up but
all right it's hard times it's hard it's hard times bob you know so yeah you
know i i you know
i said to the wife i said look you know we don't have work and uh you know i i
thought of everything
we can do and you know you're just a beautiful woman and you know i thought
maybe you could work
the streets for me you know i'll be a pimp and and you know so you know she she
you know begrudgingly
agreed but uh she's like all right you know i've been doing it with you for
this long i might as well
you know go make some money at it so uh we go uh park over you know in the
corner and curb and
you know she uh the guy pulls up and she goes and gets in his car and she gets
in the car with him
and she tells me uh he says to her hey look i uh she goes i charge a hundred
bucks and he goes uh she
was well i only got eighty dollars pulled out strong he's got a big old fucking
strong man
giant one next few minutes my wife comes over the window she knocks on the
window she goes you got
twenty dollars i can borrow that's a good joke that's a good all right i gotta
be better you
gonna maybe no that's a good that's a great family you know i know this isn't a
family show bob no this
is this does both you know sometimes i'll call somebody and they're like a
nurse at a hospital
and it's like i'm not going blue you know but if if i go where my guests go you
know and i i'm loving
talking to people and that that means so much to me and so i think that's a
good joke um there was an
old there was an old joke at milton burl who was a famous comedian supposedly
had one of the biggest
penises in show business and i i met him at like his 90th birthday party or
something and i was there
and a bunch of comedians were around and he said to me do you want to see it
because everybody has
he shows it to people and uh or did he's passed away actually it's his marker
he doesn't have a
tombstone just the tip is sticking out and um he said to me do you want to see
it and i said no i'm
good he said you know what i'm talking about and i said yes i do know what you're
talking about
and this comedian uh who also passed away who i loved red buttons said milton's
dick is so big it
has a sun deck on it and so these are the old guys that were the professional
roasters you know that
really started the whole thing back in the day and uh those kind of those kind
of jokes he would he would
say i'll i'll bet you a hundred dollars mine's bigger than yours and then the
guy would bet and
then he would say okay i'm just going to take out enough just to win that was
the old joke
and it doesn't matter the guys go ahead are these the guys in the same era of
like um super dave's
dad and stuff no uh no oh oh oh park your carcass yes so uh super dave and albert
brooks are brothers
uh super dave or dave uh bob einstein we lost um which is really sad he was it
was so great you know
so funny so brilliant he was super dave he was on curb um he talked like that
it was he's just amazing
he was nice to me he was the best oh the best funny as would just stare you
down would just look
at you and just he would say i want to do something with you you're funny bob
and i say well let's
figure it out he says i don't give a what it is let's just do it i'm sounding
more like a chicken but
but he was this special special guy and his dad's name and albert brooks's dad's
name was park your
carcass and i guess his name was that was your car that was his uh you know
stage name obviously
but his last name was einstein and he named his son albert einstein so albert
brooks changed the name
because you you can't you know it's like saying what do you think your kid's a
genius really yeah wait
a minute and so bob einstein that part yeah bob einstein was wow they are
that's rough it's rough it's rough when your last name is hitler that's a rough
one yeah
or if you're born with a mustache oh my god if you're born with a mustache you're
kind of cool
then you want to get manscaped that you know well what if you were born with a
hitler mustache like
that would be your thing like that's not right on your lip i don't like the hitler
i don't trust a kid
that comes out arm first in the air that's true that's true never never never
well i'm i'm feeling
for you pete are you hanging i really appreciate it yeah you hang in there do
you know what i'm talking
about you just hang in i will man i will we're doing some homeschooling stuff
can i just give a
a couple couple plugs real quick please plug away i want to plug my show i'll
be live in cleveland next
week i'll be playing no uh i'm playing i'm playing to an audience of zoom yeah
an audience of zoom now
just hey we're a bunch of tv freelancers in this world i know that they just
bought some ads uh in
california and baltimore to kind of sell our plight but uh yeah sinclair media
and all these regional
sports networks to put on your sports programming have uh basically left us out
in the cold um and
we'll continue to do so i'm sure and uh we're just looking you know we're just
trying to battle our way
through this and get it done man every a lot of people got problems in this
world i am sure there's
some people with way worse situations than ours and i am definitely not trying
to say that i just uh
no they were everybody's getting screwed um and some people are finding a way
out with the new stuff
that's coming out you know who knew zoom would be a format for everything um
but but yeah i feel
how much do you think that's going to change things it's all going to it's
going to change in some ways
it's good because in some ways why do you have to go fly somewhere uh for a
meeting if you can do this
and you can get your job done in a succinct way without havin