Name: Bob Talks Matters of The Heart | Bob Saget
Uploaded: 2020-06-12T17:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bob Talks Matters of The Heart | Bob Saget' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bob Talks Matters of The Heart | Bob Saget' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-12. Transcript available.

Bob Talks Matters of The Heart | Bob Saget

All right. It is Bob of Bob Saget's Here For You. That's right. I'm Bob in the
Bob Saget's Here For You title.
As you do these podcasts, you store them sometimes, and you do them a couple
weeks ahead of time.
Well, I got excited to call people, so I recorded a bunch of episodes because I
really wanted to talk to people
because of the pain they've been going through because of the quarantine and
because of sick people in their lives
and because of all the dissension in the world and the hatred in the media and
hatred in politics and hatred in religion
and just wanted to bring people together somehow and entertain them, and that's
where the title came from accidentally.
It really came out because the world was already feeling like it was crumbling
before I started the podcast,
and that's how the title came out, and then the quarantine hit one week after I
started the first episode.
So the episode you're about to hear was recorded before the death of George
Floyd,
so the conversations aren't what they would be if they were today,
but I do want to talk about humanity and equality and honesty and truth,
and so those are the things that are evergreen, and this is just a couple weeks
old.
So that's how quickly everything turned.
So here's an episode of me calling people, which I love to do.
Here it is.
Here's Bob Saget's calling people.
I'm talking in fourth person.
Jim, Bob Saget.
How are you, sir?
Hey, Jeff, I have a message you might call me.
Oh, that's cool.
So Jeff from Twitter said that I might call you, so that's the connection here.
Are you doing all right?
Yeah, I'm doing okay.
I missed you the first time.
I was sleeping, and my wife hooked up my phone and shut it off.
I was setting it on silent.
But it's important to get sleep.
I mean, I know that, and I know you've got quite a story from what I know to
say here.
Yeah.
So now you are one of our fine servicemen.
Is that correct?
Yeah.
And everything, I know that you've had some hardships.
Are you cool to discuss it with me?
Are you okay to talk about it?
Oh, yeah, of course.
Your friend said that you had a pacemaker put in.
Are you doing all right?
Yeah.
Yeah, actually, just yesterday.
So I was kind of shocked because I'm pretty young for that.
Yeah.
How old a man are you, Jim?
I'm only 37.
Oh, my God.
Is there hard stuff in your family?
Because there is in mine.
No.
What was the, what was, so you had it put in yesterday?
Yeah.
So I'm part of your recovery.
Yeah, yeah.
I've only been home for about five hours, so yeah.
Oh, my God.
So I'm honored that you wanted to talk to me.
So I'm here to just cheer you on.
I'm so sorry that you had that put in, but it's safe now.
And you're feeling better?
Oh, yeah, I feel better already.
What happens?
It's just the heart doesn't have the regular beats, right?
Because the blood's not pumping properly?
Yeah, something like that.
Right.
I never understood it.
I've had nothing but relatives that had them put in and lived forever with them.
Yeah.
What is it, like the size of a battery or something?
I think it's a little bigger than that, but not what I say.
It's like the size of a large wristwatch.
You have a watch in your chest?
Something about that size, I guess, is what they're doing.
They're telling me, yeah.
I didn't see it.
I was passed out before they started going to work.
Right.
It was a good thing.
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
And you just lost breath and thought you were – did you think you were having
a heart attack or something?
No, no, I just – I was kind of fatigued and busy for a couple of years, and I
never really took it very seriously.
And then I guess they did the right test and found out they needed to do this
pretty quick.
So I guess five days from diagnosis to surgery.
My God, well, congratulations.
Yeah, and I wish you a very healthy recovery.
That's amazing.
No, thank you.
Do you think I'm an important part of your recovery now?
You know, I know you've been talking off and on to Jeff, and he's been my buddy
for 14 years now.
And I was laughing.
He was like, hey, I reached out.
You get a call.
Please answer the phone this afternoon because I know you've been talking to
him for a couple months now, and he's a great guy.
And I know that he is, like, probably one of the biggest wildcard people in my
life.
And when Jeff says to me something's happening, I never know what it's going to
be.
But, yeah, I definitely appreciate it.
It's something to look forward to me.
Well, I'm honored.
And Jeff, so the listeners know, I don't often answer a lot of things on
Twitter because it's a lot of stuff.
I don't see it.
You know, you go through your day.
I try to do other stuff.
I try to be a good husband.
Make her happy takes about six hours.
Yeah.
Are you a married man?
I am, yeah.
And you guys are quarantined together right now?
Yeah, yeah, the whole family, yeah.
Oh, how many people are in there?
I have three boys.
So, yeah, we're all stuck together here.
Oh, man.
And they're not doing anything near your chest right now, right?
They're not daddy's home.
No, that's that.
I'm from the quarantine, so nobody hits me.
Yeah.
Yeah, you've got to be extremely careful.
Because you've got to take care of them their whole lives, even though they
become independent.
It's a good thing.
They need their dad.
So, Jeff is this guy for the listeners that is such a good man.
I don't know him.
And that's how this podcast even came about.
It's just I have a connection with people, and I have it when I do stand-up.
So, I wanted to do this podcast before my tour got canceled because of the
world.
And I just know I have a connection because people feel like they know me or
whatever.
I play Danny Tanner, and now we're all cleaning like idiots because we all
became him.
And then Jeff just hit me on Twitter, and I direct messaged him back because he
was saying, I'm about to go away to Iraq, and I'm going to be stationed
somewhere, and my family, and my kids.
He was just, and I sent him a video back.
He's just a genuine, good person who's, and that's accurate, right?
Is he like one of your best friends?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
He's just, you know, where is he now?
Where is he located now?
Is he still back in the States?
Yeah, I'm not, I'm not, I don't want to say exactly where he's at, but he's out
and about doing things.
Yeah, right, right.
I probably shouldn't ask that because everybody's got to be confidential about
what you guys do, which is amazing.
I mean, you're heroes, you know?
And now we've got people that are heroes, and you were in a hospital getting a
pacemaker.
Were you concerned that you had coronavirus people?
Did they have you in a separate place?
Well, you know, I trusted the system and said if they think it's important
enough to do this really quickly during the pandemic, then it's probably
important I just go do it.
You're lucky.
And did they test you afterward, or they just said if you get symptoms, let us
know kind of thing?
Yeah, yeah, just the normal stuff, you know, keep social distancing.
If I get sick, you know, talk to them and we'll figure it out.
So, yeah, I think it's...
Go ahead, sorry.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, no, I think it's more important to listen to their recommendations.
So, yeah.
Right, right.
And your kids, now, do they go out and play with other kids, or do they
understand the quarantine?
Oh, yeah, no, they're good.
We homeschool anyway, so they're kind of always used to...
It's not as hard on them because we're used to homeschooling anyway.
So, yeah, they understand what's going on, I think, now at this point.
You know, we've been doing it for a while, so...
Right.
Some people's lives, oddly enough, haven't changed that much, except they can't
go to the market as carefully, or they...
Or some people can afford to order in, some people can't, some people have
deliveries of food, some people go to the market and get the food.
And then you go there, and toilet paper has been my biggest issue because I'm
using, like, typing paper at this point.
I mean, I don't know.
I can't find it.
You know, people in where I live, they just get it all.
They just take it all away.
So, I don't know.
And you can't recycle that stuff because it's...
Yeah, it stinks.
But, so you had...
Did you have a question or something or a topic you wanted to discuss with me?
No, not particularly.
Yeah, because you didn't make the call.
Yeah, because it was Jeff.
Yeah, no.
Right.
At first, it said Jeff on Twitter, and I was thinking, what, does he, like, run
Twitter?
I didn't know what he meant.
I don't know.
Yeah.
So, what's your...
What are you going to do?
Does dinner get cooked, and you kind of amble your way in?
This is day one of recovery, right?
Yeah, yeah.
It's just...
You know, like I said, it's not a major thing.
It's just surprising because of my age.
But from what I hear, you know, I'll be back to doing everything I was doing in
four to six weeks.
So, yep.
Just got to be careful for a couple weeks, and I'll be good to go.
But you won't be able to go anywhere, so it's kind of good.
Yeah.
Yeah, hopefully my recovery will coincide with, you know, us being able to move
around again.
Right.
That's the plan, I guess.
Yeah, the plan is to get this thing over with and get people well, and then
find a freaking vaccination.
That's what we want.
And that's going to be a lot.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's not on the timetable we all want, but I just...
Wow, thank God, man.
You're alive.
And this will be good.
You've got a watch in your heart.
So, that's like...
If it's the Apple Watch, it could take your temperature.
It could call people.
You know, anybody that you love from your past, it would probably just start
auto-dialing.
You'd be heart-dialing people, like butt-dialing.
Yeah, yeah.
I guess if you...
Butt-dialing just sounds terrible.
It sounds like, you know...
I mean, it's anybody that your butt thinks of.
It calls.
And nobody's really been around my butt, so I don't know.
I'm confused.
I just want toilet paper, man.
That's all.
My wife came in.
What's her name?
Alexis.
She is talking to Jeff on the phone.
Hi, Alexis.
Nice to meet you.
You too.
She is FaceTiming with Jeff.
We have Jeff here.
Hey, Jeff.
Can Jeff hear me?
Hey, how you doing, sir?
I'm doing well.
Sure.
Thanks for doing this.
Well, you know, it seems like you and I got some kind of social thing going,
and anything
you command, I'd just obey.
If I joined the service and you were my sergeant, I'd be in mud all day.
I'd do whatever you said.
You're the best.
I would never do that.
I was getting your chow.
I'd be cleaning your toilet.
I really appreciate that.
You know, sometimes a man needs help from another man with cleaning his toilet
and his shower.
Right now, though, we all have to.
Jeff, are you practicing safe social distancing right now?
I am.
I am.
I absolutely am.
Well, good.
Well, you got a lucky buddy there.
I mean, Jim is in recovery.
This is day one of recovery.
I didn't realize, like, I was the little gift, little icing on the heart right
there.
It didn't tell you that I need to get this shower and clean the toilet.
Yeah, if you're willing to do all these toilets, I mean, you're a hell of a
friend.
I mean, now, Jim, have you had regular bathroom times yet?
Are you back to normal?
Yeah, fortunately, I'm good to go.
Oh, that's wonderful.
And how old are the kids?
How old are these little guys you guys have to deal with right now?
Oh, they're 6, 9, and 12.
Oh, that's adorable.
Are they helping out, or are they little critters that are giving you some
difficulty here and there?
You know, yeah, they're upset I'm throwing off the daily rhythm, but they'll be
all right.
He can't power bomb them.
Yeah, I can know wrestling moves right now, so that's got everybody down.
Right, right.
So they're getting a break, but when you come back, it's going to be strong.
They're not going to know what's going on.
Oh, yeah, they're going to be in trouble.
Oh, they're going to get sideswiped.
They're not going to see it coming.
Well, you guys take car