Name: Bob and Callers...Figuring Out Safety Together | Bob Saget
Uploaded: 2020-07-02T17:00:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bob and Callers...Figuring Out Safety Together | Bob Saget' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bob and Callers...Figuring Out Safety Together | Bob Saget' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-02. Transcript available.

Bob and Callers...Figuring Out Safety Together | Bob Saget

*music*
Hey everybody, it is your friend Bob here, and it's the show that you know,
because it's titled with my name.
I don't need to say the name, I'm not going to say Bob Saget's here for you.
Uh, damn. Anyway, um, okay, this is, uh, the world's, uh, the world is upside
down.
The world is trying to straighten itself out. The world is in turmoil.
We are all feeling all different kinds of pain, um, and I'm here to try to
bring a little solace to it all.
And I'm going to call some people that I enjoy doing, um, which is calling
people and see what's up,
what they want to talk about, no matter what it is. And, um, I'm going to try
to talk to as many people as possible right now.
And just, uh, maybe I can, I don't know. I'm aiming for six to 10.
That's the age group because the kids dig me.
But no people that are a little older and a little more socially relevant, or
just trying to get through their moments.
Um, I'm hoping you're all doing as well as you can be. I've had, uh, you know,
normal problems, plumbing problems personally and in my house.
Um, but those are good problems, right?
Uh, sewage is once you clean out the sewage, it's a metaphor for all of life.
You just get rid of all the shit and then, uh, you got to clean out.
So my house, uh, got a colonoscopy. So, um, I think the earth needs one right
now, uh, to clean it out and make things feel better and somehow get us closer
toward, uh, evolving into a peaceful understanding and listening group.
Okay. That was my soap box. It's over. And now I'm going to call a guy named
Dave. I have no idea where he is. I can't wait to talk to him. I have no idea
what's up.
Hello, Dave, Bob Saget. How are you, sir?
I am well, Mr. Saget.
You don't know how good it feels that when you call and say your name, someone
laughs. That's like a compliment, sir. Thank you.
It's, uh, quite a surprise.
Well, that's good. That's good. And you called and left a message on that
number. And I appreciate it. Where, where are you? What part of this, uh, world?
Uh, I am in a crazy Chicago right now, Mr. Saget.
Wow. And how's it going? How are you, how are you doing? What's up? And, uh,
what kind of questions you got for me? What, what do you want to talk about?
We could talk about, uh, what's going on in the world in your life? Uh, how to
bake a good pop tart, whatever you want.
Well, uh, uh, things are going well for me. I have my health. I have been
working this entire time. I, uh, I work, uh, as an EMT. Uh, so it's like a paramedic
that only does cleanup.
Uh, well, God bless you, sir. So you're in there, you're doing, you're, you're
in, you're in people's bodies basically. Right?
Yeah. Oh yeah. Well, I'm in their face, man. I'm totally in their face.
When you say you're in their face, you're not meeting with your lower parts.
You're, you're talking professionally, right?
Of course, always professionally. Wait, so what, so what, what's up? What
question do you have for me that I can help you with or, or just talk about it?
I don't give a crap about nothing except, uh, trying to bring some
entertainment and light or some relevance to people. I don't know.
Well, I do have, I mean, what are the chances that somebody gets to talk to Bob
Saget? So I definitely have questions for Bob Saget.
Okay. Um, since I'm, I've got two names hit, hit me with them. What, what, what's
the questions? I mean, you're in people's faces. I can't argue with you.
So I, you know, I've been doing this medical thing, you know, for a while,
maybe about 15 years or so.
So, but right before I did this, you know, I always fancied myself a bit of a
funny guy naturally.
Right. But never really honed it. Um, and right, right before I took my first
medical, medically related class, I did stand up comedy and, uh, I did it for
summer, maybe about three, four sets.
So you were, where were you going up in Chicago? You were going up? Yes, sir.
Did you go to Zany's? Did you go to, uh, the improv? Where'd you go?
No, sir. I went to open mics, um, different bar. I think the biggest place, the
biggest place I went to was Joe's on leaf street.
Right. Okay. And, uh, my wife and I know Chicago, I've been playing Chicago
forever. So, uh, so you've been, so you've been, so you want to be in people's
faces in a different way as well. So you're, you're kind of, yeah, you're
hidden.
Yeah. Your hidden dream. Would you say when, when, um, when people are out and
performing, I mean, a lot of people are out, not a lot. I mean, you know, the
amazing Dave Chappelle, uh, is out and Michael Che, they're doing shows and,
and a bunch of comedians, but Chrysler's going out and Jim Gaffigan.
Cause we have to make people laugh. And, um, I'm over 60, so I'm, I don't want
to get something. I don't want someone to jump down my throat when someone
laughs. Cause usually, hopefully let's see when you laugh when you laugh like
that. Right. And, uh, I mean, I.
I mean, I don't want to give anything to anybody. I haven't had, uh, the thing.
I had a blood test, so I know I haven't had it yet. Um, I'm not, uh, wanting it,
but part of us always wanted it. You know, we, oh man, I was sick for a month.
I thought I had it. Um, and I'd be concerned with all of the protesters that
they would be spreading it more.
Uh, but there's, you know, there's not a lot of laughing going on. Uh, whereas
in protesting, whereas in comedy, uh, if someone laughs, a Luger gets shot
right out of their mouth and could theoretically, I've actually had it happen
as gross, but you're an ENT guy. So you're fine with it. Oh, gone right in my
mouth. Just like in the movie outbreak for the older people.
You might as well be an ENT Bob. I want to do it. I want to do it. Is it EMT?
Is it EMT? Is that what it is?
Yes. Yes. Emergency medical technician. Oh, I called it an ENT, which is a
totally different thing, which is just entrance.
Yeah. Your nose and throat. Yeah. I'm starting my own thing. Um, so, so you
want to do standup comedy and you still want to be an EMT or, um, what's the
deal?
Well, um, the EMT gig pays the bills to pay the bills nicely for, you know, for
what it is here at home in Chicago. Um, I, I stopped doing it. I went like 12
years without doing it, maybe a little more. And then about two years ago, I
always, I always made funny things up, but a few years ago, I started writing
and the, and the goal was to psych myself up enough to go out there and get on
the open mics.
But, um, maybe the jail thing. Oh, I didn't think I'd mentioned the jail. I do
EMT work in a jail.
God bless you, man. That, that is, that's amazing. Cause we all know how faulted
the system is. And so you're, you're helping your help. It's awful. It's awful.
And, and it needs to be, uh, corrected in many ways. And, and, um, I think, you
know, through this time we are moving the needle, um, uh, and people are moving
the needle.
And even though sometimes when you move the needle, uh, it feels like it goes a
little too far and then you reach a compromise, but I've never seen the needle
move this much.
So what, what would you do in the jail system when you go in there? What would
you like to see? Do you, does your heart hurt or are you scared? What's the
deal?
And I don't want to sound like, yeah, yeah, man, it hurts. I think the worst
thing about that job is just, uh, you see the underbelly of the world.
And I mean that in the sense that you see bad things happen on both sides of
this thing. You know, the people, the folks that end up in the, in the jail,
you know, I'm not a judge.
So to me, they're just my patients. And, uh, you know, a lot of them have not
been built a good card and, uh, and they, and you've, and I have to bear
witness to that.
So from human instinct, you're feeling like some of these people have been
treated unjustly just from their, their nature is what you're saying.
I believe so. I think so. Definitely. And then you got to see on the other side,
uh, I just, there's so many factors to it.
Yes. Because of, because of the danger, because of the danger of the people
that sometimes overreact and, and how they try to hold down people that are,
that are, are dangerous.
And, and, and need help and need help. And some people, uh, God, the people
that you can't be helped. We have to think that everybody can be helped. We
have to think that.
Oh, wow. Now, how would you do this in your standup? How would you do it in
your standup? Would you want to talk about that?
How would I do it? How would you, would you want to talk about that experience
in your standup? I mean, look, Dave Chappelle gets out and he's talking about
everything.
So, I mean, do you think you'd want to do that or do you think you just want to
question? Where do you? Yeah. Oh, so you want to know, do you do it?
Bob, Bob does. I'm afraid to talk about that. And I have actually, I do not.
And the things that I've written in a little bit that I've done in the last
year before COVID came up, I totally do not even mention any of that.
I don't know. But the question is, well, I understand. Well, when you talk
about it, there's, there's certain people that are good at it and they're, and
they, and they're articulate.
So you got to figure out, can you talk about something so sensitive and some
people might be really upset by it, but can you find humor? And that if you're
able to find humor, my friend, Jeff Ross has done standup in the prisons and he
did it on comedy central.
And he has gone in a lot of places that a lot of people would think is very
dangerous. He's gone out and been with the police. He's roasted the police. He's
roasted the prisoners. So, and they want to laugh.
So if you can somehow, and I can't talk much longer because I got to call so
many people because people apparently they need me, you know, I'm like Batman,
we do need you. We need to laugh. God damn it.
But, um, I mean, I didn't mean to use the Lord's name in vain because you
offend everybody at every corner, but, um, cause that's where I meet people on
the corner, but, uh, that's where I get a nickel bag and I bring it home to the
baby.
But I mean, can you find it? I would say, try to write, try to think of stuff,
uh, record it on your phone. You know, if you got one of those things on it and,
and just write, just come up with things and go, what if I talked about going
in with a prisoner?
What if I talked about what I had to do for him and I thought he was innocent.
So I set him free. I mean, I mean, you know, uh, it was really hard to do. I
had to, I gave him the gun.
Uh, well, you can say whatever the hell you want. It's freedom of comedy speech.
You could say you, he was, he was a little guy. So you shoved him down your
pants and you just walked out nonchalant.
I mean, there are ways to find humor in the most difficult situations, but you
also have to be true to what is real and to what's funny. And you can also just
do dick jokes if you want. I mean, you can do talk about social relevance, talk
about your family, talk about people's health.
You can talk about what people do. That's just disgusting that you've noticed,
uh, you know, and also nothing wrong with a little self-aggrandizing and saying,
cause you're doing something great, you know?
And I, I just want to say that I appreciate what you do a lot.
Oh, geez. Thanks Bob. I'm more of a self-deprecator. So that's perfect. It's
better than self-defecating because self-defecating, you just shit yourself.
Yeah. Um, but self-defecating. We call that, I call it brown.
Yeah. I've been there. It was late at night. I was younger, but Rodney Dangerfield
always said, you make fun of yourself first, man. Then you can make fun of
other people.
But, uh, all I can do is wish you the best. I really appreciate you calling and,
and go out and do it.
Thank you so much. Thank you for calling me, Mr. Saget.
Uh, please Bob Saget me. I'm, I'm, I'm your friend. So, um, uh, I hope to see
you one day out there when I'm in Chicago doing standup, come back and say hi.
I'll, we'll take a, I'll totally