Name: Bill Maher and Bob Discuss COVID, Humanity, and Bob’s Dick Jokes | Bob Saget
Uploaded: 2020-08-10T17:00:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Maher and Bob Discuss COVID, Humanity, and Bob’s Dick Jokes | Bob Saget' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Maher and Bob Discuss COVID, Humanity, and Bob’s Dick Jokes | Bob Saget' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-10. Transcript available.

Bill Maher and Bob Discuss COVID, Humanity, and Bob’s Dick Jokes | Bob Saget

hey welcome to another uh exciting uh suspenseful episode of bob saget's here
for you um i'm here
for you oh no i'm bob saget and uh this is a podcast that i do because i want
to and i'm really
happy that you guys are digging it we say digging it because i'm not from the
50s i just say digging
it because i heard people from the 50s say it you want to when you want to
listen to this thing you
can go up and subscribe and review and rate and all that stuff or you could
follow it depending on
where you're listening to it and there's a number up there that you can call
and leave a message and
then on certain days i'll be calling you guys and i'll announce it on twitter
and on instagram stories
and i'll call you guys and see how you're doing because i get a lot from it and
for some reason
people seem to feel better which is really unusual to me um i'm just uh
thinking about what a lot of
people are going through a lot of people are upset about the news a lot of
people are upset about the
information they get from the news a lot of people are upset about what they
believe in that they're
reinforced with with the news and um my guest that's coming up right now is a
man who looks at it um daily
and every week he delivers uh one of the best shows of its kind on television
and it's real time with
bill maher so i take you now to uh my friend bill maher
hey are we doing this yeah sure
podcast there's no like rules or well there aren't i have a couple breaks i
take and that that's that's
easy but it's it's not like what it's not like what you've been doing you've
been doing something
amazing i mean thank you you're keeping me alive i mean the monologues and the
audience cutaways alone
i'm i'm i'm i'm fine now i you know i don't pick those uh cutaways i'm always
surprised myself and i
it's it's a it's a rare treat to to get an lol from your mom because usually
you know what's coming you
know right uh and uh like last week they put in de niro it was as from cape
fear right from cape fear you
know i always loved anyway you know that was you know he's obviously uh such a
brilliant actor but
that was such a brilliant acting choice i mean it to to i remember watching it
in the theater and
laughing my ass off watching him laugh his ass off right it's like such a uh
unpredictable way to
once again show how creepy and scary that character was and and funny at the
same time it was just
i'm glad they didn't use the ear biting off scene that would have been
upsetting
yeah for the cutaway well you don't do podcasts much right um i don't know if i've
ever done it i
did sam harris's with larry charles a couple about a year ago two years ago for
the it was the 10th
anniversary of uh the movie larry charles and i made religious yeah which i
loved oh thank you and sam's a
famous writer of a couple of atheist books so we thought oh let's go on sam's
show and and talk
about that so that was fun i i don't remember ever doing other uh podcasts you
know um but i know that
i know they're big bob but well here's the thing you're saying thanks for doing
mine oh yeah i you know
everybody's good yes it's this is a podcast everybody's got one i mean my ups
drivers got
one the kid across the street you know and once quarantine happened every actor
just said oh let's
do a podcast right but i started this before quarantine because i was out on
tour and i was
getting ready to do a special i had it all ready to go i'm sure you were
getting close probably too
with new stuff out there well i i wasn't about to do what i could you know i
could have i was gonna
wait and you know god knows if we'll ever get back to ever do anything like
that again i mean it's
funny you probably had the same experience i've had which is uh at first we
were like holding on for
dear life maybe we'll be able to do the end of the year you know so they didn't
cancel you know i
canceled everything from like march until september and then they came september
to the end of the year
like the virus is going to go hey it's 2021 we're gone now it's like we moved
everything to 2021 and i
don't know if the virus is going to cooperate with that and right there's a
mint there's a coveted mint
that works as a mask it's you know i mean it's all so stupid you can fly on an
airplane which is
recycled air and you're sitting you know you're supposed to sit one seat apart
but i know people
have been on flights and say sometimes they go it and everybody sits right
where they used to right
next even when you wear the welding helmet thing you're still airborne yeah uh
well yeah you wear a
mask on the plane but if you can do that why couldn't you do that in a baseball
stadium
and also when you go to dinner i went to dinner once i've been to dinner once
how was it i did it twice i
didn't love it it was i thought it was it was the polo lounge which is my
favorite and it's they have
outside anyway and yes the waiters wore the welding mask and you had to wear a
mask i mean this is the
official they weren't doing anything wrong this is official you walk in with
the mask on if you walk to the
bathroom you have to wear the mask i always wear a mask in the bathroom anyway
but while you're eating
no one has a mascot look the virus is saying well we're a virus we're not a
monster we're not gonna
jump in anybody's mouth while they're eating i mean please and that's literally
when you're inhaling
come on they're with people it's so inconsistent and ridiculous i know i know
but i do think we're
gonna if there's a vaccine then we can get out there if we know it works but
then we don't know if the
audience is going to have this vaccine so i don't want to be responsible for
thousands of people getting
sick well don't get me started on vaccines i'm not a denier but i am a skeptic
of everything medical as
any smart person should be unless the president tells you because he is the
king of medicine
right but uh apparently i'm not alone only 42 percent of people i read today
would would take the the
vaccine why is that probably because they well i mean again don't get me
started my i like getting
you started i've always liked you you're fun to get started okay well i mean my
thing about i mean it
depends on what your view of medicine in the macro is your big view of medicine
mine is that we are
only at the very beginning of our understanding of what goes on inside here and
that's i mean that's not
hard to prove i mean they don't know what causes cancer they don't know what
causes parkinson's disease
or a million other things i could mention when you get something that's
anything complicated
they say get a second opinion well what does that tell you first of all it's an
opinion second of
all the second one very rarely matches the first so they're always just
guessing so of course vaccines
work they've done some great things they've been one of the great tools of
modern science and medical
advancement um but i don't know the long-term effects always so if i write
there are some vaccines i would get
tomorrow if i you know i mean if there's no time for test trials there's no
time to give it years if this
was bubonic plague i'd be the first in line or if i was going to go to some
place that had ebola but
my my choice my preference is to use my own immune system if i can and uh you
know i've said from the
very beginning i i'm not that scared of this could it get me of course we don't
know everything about
it and all viruses are a little bit scary but you know it depends on what your
view of how you take
care of your own health is and you're allowed to to differ from what dr fauci
says who's been wrong
about stuff before uh including some things about this he says he's a he's a
very capable guy and i
don't think he's smart not smart or anything but i don't you know i said it
last week on the show that
these top people in the medical field have not to me done the one most
important thing which is tell
the american people the most important thing you can do in this crisis is get
yourself into better
health that's the most you're absolutely correct your immune system and that's
your best defense
against this virus get your immune system in a better state but that would
probably offend pepsi
cola and coca-cola and the processed food industry and the pharmaceutical
industry and you know they're
just they're just very conventional people they do things by the book the way
they've always done it
it's not how i see medicine and germs you know i mean i i believe in what louis
pasteur
said uh before he died he was one of the fathers of germ theory but he said it's
the terrain of course
the germ matters the pathogen matters but it's the terrain does it find some
place that's hospitable
are you vulnerable are you obese are you yeah fast food has always been carmex
it's like eating if
you're not in a good metabolic state then the terrain is very friendly for that
to cause havoc so that i mean
just to just to tell people things like that i think we should have been what
uh you know our
our medical experts tell us but but they don't they it's just all about
defensive stay home get under the
bed hide wear a mask i mean i'm not against wearing a mask of course it works
and we should do these
things but we should also you know have some skin in the game of our own you
know have some responsibility
don't sit home and just put on weight during the pandemic that's great people
are drinking and
eating whatever they want i've been pretty good i'm pretty happy i i make a
normal stool
i'm sorry you're drinking sorry i i know you i knew that would have done it
well because i don't eat all day when i do we just finished our show why i'm in
a tie i know and uh
you know i'm in one of jay leno's old jean shirts it would be blue wouldn't it
it would it kind of is
in its own way either have one shirt or a hundred shirts that a hundred like
his garage
but uh i don't eat all day so excuse me for drinking my breakfast no it's good
is it green stuff
no it's uh it's a lot of stuff it's a lot of good stuff um
i don't even want to know what's in this but there's there's things i'd want to
say but they're
not appropriate anymore i cannot you know it was funny somebody asked me to do
a documentary about
language and about words like and talk like carlin would talk and i'm not about
that right now that's
anything anyone says can be taken out of context and you're just they just take
i know that you have
this constantly because you're incredibly bold and yet you're kind of more in
my from my mind more in
the middle than you've ever been because you're looking at everything you're
saying what the hell
are the liberals doing why are they doing this and why are the extreme why is
the extreme right like
this it's just very clear i and and you're i think your clarity on what you're
i'm not licking your
butt because i'm not that kind of guy but but what you're what but what you're
doing you know me
you've known me jesus 38 years i don't know yeah and um bob you you're you're
you're a sick man
well look you took me you took me to hawaii and that wonderful that's what you
want to get back but
let's let's elaborate so people that sounds like i took you to hawaii you know
that was right after
you're a sick man bob it's a wonderful gig that you do every year and hopefully
next christmas you'll
be able to do it again the joy of my life and today today this year would have
been year 10 would
have been our 10th anniversary and of course it got canceled with everything
else so that's a real real
shame hopefully we'll be able to do um our 10th anniversary of the year after
but you know who knows
but getting back to the vaccine look i hope they have a vaccine if that's what
it takes for people
to feel good let's get it get it out there get it in you that's what that's
what makes people feel good
and by the way vaccines if i could tell you one other thing there some people
it is appropriate if
you are not in good metabolic health yes you do need the vacc